Story Review Featured Story: Desert Dropping
Entry posted by Lugh in Featured Stories
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Ha! Time to rile up all the lazy Domaholics on the site. This week's featured story is by their missing favorite author Dom Luka, which of course everyone wants out of hiding... well everyone that is except maybe our reviewer....
by DomLuka
published on GA December 27th, 2010.
36 chapters, 389,678 words.
It was a tried and true—if overused—premise. The protagonist, a typical closeted teenager named Rory, is thrust into a new environment and family in Arizona, where he finds himself and reconciles with the event to propelled him there (the death of his mother). DomLuka’s well-deserved reputation renders an assessment of the mechanics of the story largely unnecessary. Scene descriptions are written with clear experience, interspersed with the thoughts of the protagonist, and the reader is immediately immersed in Rory’s world.
“Desert Dropping” takes place over the course of one summer. While this is an appropriate time frame, it nevertheless falls victim somewhat to monotonous repetition. For instance, there were many, many scenes of swimming and eating that had little to do with the overall plot of the story. The story would have benefitted from research—perhaps into more unique aspects of Arizona—to facilitate further immersion and more excitement. As it stands, all we know about Arizona was that it’s a hot place. Boys seem to prance around shirtless all the time. But the story could have taken place anywhere in the summer.
The mechanics of characterization was perhaps the strongest aspect to the story. Unlike many other stories, in which characters come from all-American cookie-cutter molds, characters in Desert Dropping are anything but perfect. Each of the main characters—Rory, Luke, Aaron, Seth, Eddie, Jace—are deeply flawed. These flaws, as well as the characters’ changes in their relationships to each other, make for a nuanced story that continues to keep the reader’s interest. They also facilitate strong emotional reactions throughout the reading. For instance, I at first cringed whenever Aaron or Seth was mentioned, but towards the end, I felt differently as the characters themselves changed. To be able to bait and toy with the emotions of the reader, especially at this level, takes prodigious skill indeed.
Yet at the same time, these flaws can be too extreme, and immersion in the life of the very flawed protagonist can backfire. Rory’s annoying childishness and bizarre tantrums, for instance, made me want to physically reach into the pages of the story and strangle him. Worse, the weak and womanish enabling of this behavior by Rory’s father was even more frustrating. Although these molasses-paced exchanges work to nudge the story forward, the lack of plot-driving action means that the story often finds itself mired in gay-angst for hundreds of pages at a time. This is perhaps the most cliché sort of writing and something writers should always try to avoid.
Because the plot meanders so much—think of how many times someone says, “we need to talk” or some variation thereof—actual plot devices have diminished effect. Indeed, when Rory’s grandmother (perhaps the only character with any measure of testicular fortitude) shows up at the door, I found myself thinking, “Finally, something is happening…” instead of the more desirable and interesting, “oh look, an unexpected plot twist! I’m so excited to see what will happen!” The final, tortured decision by Rory to stay with his new family after weeks of unbelievable stubbornness also did not win him as many points as it should have with me.
Other characters were far more likeable. Luke, for instance, acted as a fine anchor of sanity and maturity in the story when everyone else was frozen in angst. While I was disappointed that he and Rory never developed even an experimentally romantic relationship, I found that this contributed to the mystery of his character. Seth, too, was a consistent sweetheart, and the contrast between him and Aaron, especially in how he displays affection for Rory, was well made.
This exposes perhaps the central problem in the story. Why do the perfectly attractive and mature Luke and Seth want anything to do with a whiny and incorrigible child like Rory, who consistently refuses to listen to good advice, and who, at various points in the story treated both of them vindictively? Rory is never “redeemed” the way Aaron was, even though the tragedy at the end was arguably his fault. (OK, maybe this is unfair, but if I were in his position, the thought would at least cross my mind that my refusal to stay was what made Eddie distraught and vulnerable to accident). Instead, everyone, worst of all his father, treats him like a golden child no matter how he acts, and his unpunished bad behavior throughout means I was almost frustrated to see him end up happy.
But in the end, good writing can overcome much. Taken as whole, the saga was satisfying and at moments incredibly sweet. The (sadly infrequent) sex scenes are expertly written, and most loose ends are tied, leaving the reader few questions. I would have liked to find out more about Luke’s past, and seen Rory “redeemed”—perhaps by calling Eddie “dad” for the first time. But overall, this story is well worth your time, and well deserving of its status in the GA archives.
3.5 (Out of 5)
Heh.. I'm so not releasing the name of the reviewer. If they want to come out of the closet, that is up to them. Needless to say, go read it for yourself to see if you agree, disagree, or want to just plain strangle the reviewer. In the meantime... read, review, review review... and don't forget those like buttons.
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