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Featured Story: To Move Forward / Barrett The Beggar


Trebs

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We've got a wonderful midweek treat for you... First, Andy021278 gives us a great review of Promising Author David McLeod's Barrett the Beggar. Then we have an equally compelling review by LouisHarris on Author Randomness' To Move Forward. Take a look at these reviews and hopefully check out one or both of these stories. Enjoy!

 

 

 



by


David McLeod

 


Reviewer: andy021278
Status: Complete
Word Count: 13,404

 

This is the first of David McLeod’s stories I’ve read, and I was drawn in from the very beginning. David McLeod has created a truly believable medieval world as his setting for the story, and he has populated it with barons, princes, a powerful clergy, and of course beggars.

 

The story starts with one of the central characters, Will, entering the city of Norfolk. The first thing he sees is a beggar being mistreated by three local tweens (which unlike the modern meaning, seems to indicate older teens), and it both shocks and angers him (being a tween himself). Down an alleyway whilst trying to find somewhere to sleep, he meets another beggar; the eponymous Barrett. Barrett informs him of dark goings-on, of people being abducted and pressed into service by the city of Eblis; and worse it seems that the local clergy and the town’s Council are complicit in the abductions somehow. Will and Barrett quickly become friends and allies, and they both quickly get drawn into this conspiracy.

 

They look for a place to sleep, and they meet Edward who runs one of the local inns. He agrees to let them stay at the inn, in exchange for providing manual labour. Edward seems a nice enough person, trusting and caring and he honours the old ways, but he hides a secret; one which could bring serious trouble to Will and Barrett. Edward’s son was one of the abducted, so just how far can Will and Barrett trust him? Though, Edward is not the only person hiding a secret, so is Will; and Will’s secret is much bigger.

 

Join a world of secrets, conspiracy, and what story isn’t complete without a little love thrown in? But watch out for the Semblers (people who can tell if you are lying to them).

 

For there having been no editor or beta involved in this story I was impressed with both the standard of grammar and punctuation, and the flow of the story. This was a truly enjoyable read, and I look forward to reading another of David McLeod’s stories.

 



by


Randomness

 


Reviewer: LouisHarris
Status: In Progress
Current Word Count: 17,381

 

I came across To Move Forward on a lazy day when I had nothing to do and I'm glad I read the first chapter. It propelled me to wait for the next and the next and the next. Okay, there are only four chapters so far and I'm looking forward to the next four because I am totally engaged by the characters thus far.

 

The blurb reads: Patrick has been unable to let go of the past. He finally decides to make an attempt to move forward but realizes there may be more chapters to add to the old story before starting a new one.

 

Ben and Patrick HAD been more than friends at college before they went their separate ways.Ben obviously had a major impact on Patrick's life once upon a time. In the years that followed, Ben married and Patrick remained true to his sexual orientation as a gay man. Patrick takes life seriously. This is a good thing, considering that he has recently had a fallout. By chance he and Ben meet at a fair, where Patrick discovers that Ben is divorced. Suddenly, Patrick is thrust into Ben's life once again, and he has no idea what he is getting himself into because, as much as Patrick desires Ben and vice versa, there are skeletons in the cupboard that are dying (excuse the pun) to be laid to rest.

 

Indulge with me for a moment as I reveal exactly what Ben and Patrick have confided in me, you see, I have become one of their best friends, and as much as the author knows and talks to his characters, I do the same, especially with characters who invoke in me certain emotions: Ben wants readers to get to know him better. He has good qualities. He lives in the present and is a good listener. He wants readers to tell him when he goes wrong. He wants readers to care. He will not force Patrick into anything he does not want to do. Ben is patient and caring too and he's unforgetable. He knows that Patrick has other friends, but he's a little worried that Patrick isn't sharing all the details of his life with. Patrick's friends, just as Ben's friends, are an inmortant part of their past and future. However, he is leaving the choice up to Patrick.

 

This is Patrick's response:

 

Patrick is cautious because he doesn't want to get hurt . More to the point, he does not want to be hurt by Ben. His other friends, (Greg, Rob, Emily, etc.), he can deal with, as long as he knows that Ben would stand by him.

 

Yes, others give character.
Who does define me?
Does who change definition?
Friends? Confidants? A Lover?

 

Yes, we are reunited.
Where do we go now?
Do we ignore these past years?
Apart? Lonely? Still longing?

 

Yes, Ben told me he missed me.
What does that really mean?
Does he miss me in his life?
As a lover? A toy? Friend?

 

Yes, the words can make me weep.
How do I tell him?
Do I toss caution aside?
Blurt it out? Confess? Confide?

 

Yes, I have waited many years.
When is the right time?
Do I be ordinary?
At dinner? A party? Fair?

 

Yes, I have waited too long.
Do I need do this?
Why extraordinary?
To breathe, to live, To Move Forward.

 

Randomness. I love it. It is well written and struck an emotional lump inside me. The writing is fresh and elegant. I look forward to following Patrick's journey. I hope every chapter will allow me to express my feelings. If there is one story you read this year, make sure it is To Move Forward. I certainly cannot move forward without the next chapter.

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