You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Since my brother's diagnosis back in December, I've really had to redefine what my definition of family is. I'm not so much talking about brothers, sisters, parents, and really not even grandparents. Now, all of those other extended "family" are where my thoughts have turned to. All those cousins, aunts, uncles and the extended family with few exceptions.

What many of you know, and some of you may not know, I lost my second oldest brother when I was 13 years old. I was devastated. Fast forward 17 years and I get told my oldest brother is sick. Cancer. 4th stage Leukemia. Once again, I was devastated. I'd already lost one brother and was terrified that I was going to lose another. You would think that my 'family' would rally around us. You would think that my cousins would, at the very least, message on facebook and tell me or my brothers that if there is anything they can do to let them know. You would THINK, that my mother's own sisters and brothers would call to ask how things are going, how is he doing, etc. Not entirely sure about whether or not my mother's siblings call her to check on how the family is doing, except for one, but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure that it's typically my mom doing all the calling.

I personally haven't heard a word from any of them. All these cousins who claim they are so big on family, not a word from more than two of them. My aunt, the only one who actually checks on everyone else, sent both me and my mom bracelets that said "hope" as soon as she heard. Other than that, the majority of the family on my mother's side haven't said a word. They expect everyone to do for them, but they can't even show they care with a kind word, with an offer of help, nothing.

What really pissed me off with all this is my mom's second oldest sister. See, my mom had made a quilt for her oldest sister (the one who gave us the bracelets), and had planned to make them for her other sisters as well. Then we got the news of my brother's diagnosis. Needless to say, we were a mess, and my mom decided it was more important to make a chemo quilt for my brother. A quilt that had all of our pictures on it. She figured that if we couldn't be there in person, we could at least be there with him in that way. My mom's second oldest sister threw a fit. Told my mom that she would have liked a quilt too and how hurt she was that mom didn't make her one. I could see that if my family hadn't just been devastated with the news that my brother was sick, especially having already lost my other brother. My aunt had my mother in tears and to be honest, I still have yet to talk to her. My mom had more important things to worry about that making sure all my aunt's got a quilt for Christmas. My mom did make the quilt, and sent it to my aunt via mail. When my aunt called her, mom said she was very humble, but it was clear that prior to that, my aunt wasn't hurt, she was pissed. Needless to say, I'm not impressed with a lot of my family.

Which leads me to the point of this blog entry. I want to thank all of you at GA for being more of a family to me over the last months than most of my own family has been. As soon as I posted about my brother's illness I heard from so many of you. Some of you I had never talked to before, and yet you were still right there to offer me kind words and offers of hope. It meant more to me than I can say. At the time, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't hear from someone, asking how I was doing. Asking how my brother was doing and if we'd found anything out. You guys helped hold me up. I know many of you were going through your own tough times, and yet you still found the moment to drop me a note. So again, thank you for being there for me.