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Definitely Not a Gardener


joann414

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So, I mentioned a little while ago about learning that there is a right way and a wrong way to water a garden. Wellllllll, I'm still confused evidently or just plain stupid. :stupid: My brother called me yesterday before I left work and asked me if I minded watering the garden for him. (garden is at my place) I said sure, no problem. After all, my hubby has very plainly explained to me last time how to do it properly. When I get home, I let my doggie out, and we go out to do my good deed of the day. I stop and turn the faucet on where the hose is connected and head to the garden to position the hose at the end of the first row to let is slowly water between the rows. My brother had attached another hose to the green hose that was already there. I figured it was so it would reach farther across the garden. Then, I saw that the end of the hose is all the way across three rows. I was like, "Why in the hell did he string it up and down all the rows just to water that one row. I find the end of the hose, and to my frustration, the water is not coming out the end. So, I go back to the other side of the garden to see if there is a kink in the green hose coming from the faucet. Nope, everything is find. So, I decided to drag the hose to the end of the first row, and then figure it out. I go back across the garden, pick up the end of the hose, and realise it is leaking all over me. It looks like pin holes where water is streaming from. I am like, "No damn wonder it's not coming out the end, it has holes all in it. .I carefully walked the hose up and down the rows, being careful not to lay it on the plants, and the leaking water is steadily soaking me. Finally getting the end of the hose over to the first two rows, when I lay it down to go to disconnect the black hose, and just use the green hose, my cell phone rings. It's laying in dry grass at the other end of the garden. As I walk toward my phone, I notice that all the dirt underneath where the black hose is laying is wet, and of course, when I get to my phone , it is wet.

 

"Did you make it home ok?" That's my hubby ,worried because I was pulling his sixteen foot trailer behind my truck. Didn't trust my driving with his trailer.

"Yes, I'm at home and in the x/*/**`ng garden. The damn black hose has holes all in it. I had to pull it up and down every row without hitting the plants, and now it won't run. I am fixing to unhook it from the green hose and just use the green hose if you'll let me off this damn phone."

 

"Jo Ann, all you had to do was turn on the water. The black hose is a soaker hose, and it is supposed to have holes in it. The reason it doesn't run out the other end is because it is capped off." Hubby is exasperated, but laughing.

 

Needless to say, I hung up, drug the damn hose back up and down the rows, water still running, and I am dripping wet by now. Doggie is sitting on her haunches looking at me like I am a nut case. When I finish arranging the hose back exactly like it was when I started, I stomp down the last row, and proceed to bust my butt in the mud. I wasn't a happy camper when hubby got there. He said nothing because he saw my muddy clothes and shoes on the deck. They told the story. :,(

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:) I don't want to laugh, but i can't help it. Mostly 'cause i've spent the last few years trying to learn to work my garden too

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"Doggie is sitting on her haunches looking at me like I am a nut case."

 

The truest words ever said! :D

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Thanks for the smile! Personally, I stick to potted plants; they're safer.

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