Abusers isolate you from family and friends.

 

I made the mistake once of telling Paul it would be nice to invite Connor over sometime to see our apartment. He went crazy, I was so scared the he was really going to hurt me. He swore up and down I was cheating with Connor and that I was planning to leave him when he had so much pressure on him.

Abusers abuse you and make you think it's your fault.

 

He'd usually hit me a few times then. He'd always apologize after, tell me how much he really loved me and, like a fool, I'd believe him. He really does love me, I just have to try a little harder is all, to understand him.

Abusers cheat and then they are insanely jealous. All to often they don't even acknowledge your relationship.

 

After graduation I moved in with Paul. He still wasn't really out, he told everyone I was his roommate and he still went out with the occasional girl. I stayed at the little apartment and tried not to let it make me miserable, but it did. The thing that, well, not that it hurt me the most but maybe the most unfair thing about our relationship was that he was so jealous. I mean, here he was running around with all these sluts and then he'd come home and accuse me of cheating.

They will use you.

 

His studies are a lot of pressure, and one I don't have. He pointed out I wasn't a great student and it would be more practical if I got a job to help pay for things while he got an education.

Abusers use sex to reward and punish.

 

I wept quietly, rolling away from him so he wouldn't see. He didn't like it when I cried. He came back to me a little while later, said he was sorry and told me how much he loved me. We had another violent lovemaking session and once more, he came and I didn't.

The problem with abusive relationships is that they only get worse.

Cops see this crap everyday and hate it. They get called out to the same house or apartment break up a fight where someone is obviously being abused and the victim keeps going back until they end up in the hospital or the morgue.

You have to look out for crap like this. No one WANTS an abusive relationship but there are warning signs if you are honest enough to look out for them.

You have the power to make it stop but you might not even realize it.

All you have to do is WALK AWAY.

It might be difficult. You might have to start over in a lot of ways.

It's worth it. The longer you stay in an abusive relation, the more damage it will do to your self image and self confidence- exactly the things you will need to stand up for yourself.