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I Really Think Her Fianc

AFriendlyFace

Entry posted by AFriendlyFace

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So yesterday evening I decided to walk to my night class. On the way it suddenly begins to drizzle a bit. So I'm thinking "well no problem I'm about to walk by Coressa's apartment complex, I'll pop in and see if I can borrow an umbrella". So anyway who should I see in the parking lot, but Coressa (yeah I guess it's not that big a coincedence since it was her apartment building). Anyway she was actually carrying a pink umbrella at the time, and before I could even ask for one she offered it to me. Then she laughed and said, "but if you'd prefer I have a brown one inside I can get for you". So I said I'd rather have that one, so after we chat a bit I go on my way with the brown umbrella. Then I'm hit with a funny thought, I'm sure she thought I'd prefer the brown umbrella because it wasn't as "gay" as the pink one, when in fact my main reason for wanting the brown one was that the pink would have clashed with my outfit, whereas the brown matched my shoes and belt nicely and really finished off the ensemble. :lol: (though actually pink is about my least favourite colour but just because I happen to not like it, not for any cultural/social reasons).

 

So anyway I'm walking along with the umbrella and I start thinking "I guess I'll drop it back off to her at work when I'm on my way to class in the morning". Then I think "oh wait, if I do that I'll have to see Kim". So of course that led my thoughts to Kim, which is what this entry is actually about.

 

If you go back about a year ago Kim had just started and right away we became pretty good friends. In fact in an odd little ironic twist when she first started most people didn't particularly like her and thought she was weird. I was the one who kept saying, "no she's really nice and fun, give her a chance". So anyway when I met her she was always talking about her boyfriend, Josh. Well the first time I met Josh was when we all went out to eat to celebrate Kim's birthday. Now I'm not the best as far as gaydar goes, but I was picking something up from Josh. Besides that he kept looking at me... in a way that suggested more than platonic interest. In fact it was so bad that halfway through dinner Amber noticed and asked him what he was looking at. He said, "oops sorry, just staring into space I guess", and she laughed and said "oh I thought you were looking at Kevin" :blink: . Now this isn't the only thing I'm going by, I actually got to know him and he's a really nice guy, I just always got a weird sorta vibe from him. Then a month or so later I was at their house and we were watching Alexander. Well Kim was completely freaked out and disgusted by the Alexander/Hephaistion relationship (She's kinda homophobic, not the main reason we "fell out" but a contributing factor), but Josh seemed completely enthralled by it, and defended it by pointing out that it was very common in ancient Greece/Rome. Not only that but Kim herself is always talking about him, about how he isn't very interested in having sex, and how he never seems to be thinking about it. Also how he likes to use some of her "girly stuff", and how he reads everything including mags she leaves laying around.

 

Now I guess it's possible I'm just completely barking up the wrong tree, maybe all the evidence is circumstantial. Or maybe he's bisexual or something. I can certainly see how he might have fallen for Kim if he is. She's a very "sexual" person. I mean she just carries herself in a very confident, sexy way. She's quite flirtatious and sensual as well. In fact one night we went out to dinner and a movie, just the two of us. I swear she was making it seem like a date! (whereas I was just interested in going as friends) As well as the usual mild flirty stuff, she leaned into me during the movie, and then afterwards we went out for desert and she fed me ice cream. It was...strange... I mean I would never do anything to come between two people dating. I just think that's one of the worst things someone can do, I'm really firm on this point! So I kept my distance as much as I could, and still be polite. That said though there was definitely a "moment" and if she hadn't been seeing someone I probably would have kissed her. I don't even think she does it on purpose. I think it's just her personality and how she naturally interacts with guys. She's always talking about how most of her close friends are guys and how there's usually been something between them at one point. I think it's just a pattern she falls into. But anyway I can definitely see how if Josh were at all into girls she might have ensnared him. Anyway a few months ago they became engaged.

 

Now that I'm not particularly close with them anymore, I mostly think I should just mind my own business. On the other hand part of me feels like...I dunno like if this is going to be a huge mistake I should do something. I mean they actually seem fairly happy, I'm just mostly worried about Josh. She's very dominant, they're not even married yet and she controls alot of the finances, and usually gets her way on other issues. Not that I think she'll take advantage of him, she really is a pretty decent person, a nice girl with a strong sense of fairness, but he's really laid back and just goes along with whatever. She could definitely end up in a very controlling position. Of course mostly I'm just thinking it really sucks for him if he's at all into guys to marry a homophobe. I mean it can't be easy to surpress your feelings anyway, but to then try to redirect them to a person who couldn't even understand in the first place... I dunno, it's not like there's anything I can do anyway. I'm certainly not going to butt into their business, and I probably wouldn't even if I were still close with them. Besides at this point anything I said or did would definitely be perceived as an attack. <_<

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Guest Kitty

Guest Kitty

Posted

What would you say if you could? I'm wondering how you could approach it without outing yourself to one or both of them, which from other things you've said, you don't want to do. The direct approach would be to tell Josh, "Kim's a b*tch and you're a doormat", but that probably wouldn't go over too well. People have to make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from them; it doesn't sound like there's much you can do in this situation.

 

BTW, he likes to use some of her "girly stuff" ... now that could cover a lot of territory. Pantyhose, eyeliner, tampons :o ... Inquiring minds want to know. On second thought, maybe I don't.

 

Kitty :D

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NaperVic

tampons

 

KITTY!!! GROSS!!! We will never speak of those things at GA again!

 

 

Hey Kevin, regarding your problem at hand. I usually butt in situations like this (shocking, I know).

 

If Josh is truly gay/bi/questioning, then you are right, they shouldn't be engaged. Unfortunately, he may be trying to 'pass' or bury his guy feelings deeper in the closet with the hope that Kim will turn him fully 100% grade A hetero.

 

If you want to save them BOTH a lot of heartache, here's what I would do...

 

Go try to hang out with Josh ALONE. Go do something that two buddies would do. Talk to him more, be his friend. If he is gay, he may just need gay friends who can show him that there is an alternative to a hetero life.

 

I'm not saying out yourself to him, but be his friend. If you get to know him more, you might be able to better find out what his tendencies are.

 

If he is gay or has gay tendencies you'd be helping them both out in the long run!

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

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AFriendlyFace

Hey Kevin, regarding your problem at hand. I usually butt in situations like this (shocking, I know).

 

If Josh is truly gay/bi/questioning, then you are right, they shouldn't be engaged. Unfortunately, he may be trying to 'pass' or bury his guy feelings deeper in the closet with the hope that Kim will turn him fully 100% grade A hetero.

 

If you want to save them BOTH a lot of heartache, here's what I would do...

 

Go try to hang out with Josh ALONE. Go do something that two buddies would do. Talk to him more, be his friend. If he is gay, he may just need gay friends who can show him that there is an alternative to a hetero life.

 

I'm not saying out yourself to him, but be his friend. If you get to know him more, you might be able to better find out what his tendencies are.

Hey Vic! :D

I definitely think you're right; that is excellent advice...I just don't think I can do it <_< . The main problem is that I only ever hung out with Josh WITH Kim. So I don't even know his cell # . On top of that there's NO WAY Kim wouldn't be suspicious if I tried to spend time with him. And I haven't associated with either of them socially for several months now :( .

 

If he is gay or has gay tendencies you'd be helping them both out in the long run!

I really don't mean this in a silly way, but is there a difference between being gay and having gay tendencies? I mean would "gay tendencies" for example mean...uh I dunno, you were careful to make sure your umbrella didn't clash with your clothes? :P (ok so maybe I got a little silly)

 

Anyway have an awesome day Vic!! and Take C....cable television shows with a grain of salt :boy:

 

Kevin

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AFriendlyFace

What would you say if you could? I'm wondering how you could approach it without outing yourself to one or both of them, which from other things you've said, you don't want to do. The direct approach would be to tell Josh, "Kim's a b*tch and you're a doormat", but that probably wouldn't go over too well. People have to make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from them; it doesn't sound like there's much you can do in this situation.

Hey Kitty!! :D

 

First off "Kim's a b*tch and you're a doormat" :lmao::lol::funny:

I got a HUGE kick out of that :2thumbs:

 

LOL anyway I definitely agree with you, I don't think there is much I can do. Kim just plain wouldn't trust me anymore (and if you think about it in this situation she'd kinda be right :( ), so I'm sure she'd sway Josh's judgement. And I guess ultimately, even though I think it might be best...I'd probably feel lousy coming between two people....even if it is for their own good....on the other hand I feel...BLAH I think I should just quit thinking about it lol They probably do have to make their own mistakes.

 

BTW, he likes to use some of her "girly stuff" ... now that could cover a lot of territory. Pantyhose, eyeliner, tampons :o ... Inquiring minds want to know. On second thought, maybe I don't.

 

Kitty :D

LOLOL well from what I hear: cold cream/make up remover ( :o which I don't know why because he doesn't wear make up....I think she said he liked the way it made his face feel), various moisturizers (goodness knows I can't cast any stones about this one :boy: ) lotions (still no stone casting here), bubble bath (geez he's starting to SOUND like me), and scented candles (ah now candles I don't play with **utters butch grunt**)

 

Anyway Kitty, thanks for the advice and have a truly amazing day! Take care (but you probably shouldn't believe everything you see on TV either

:P:boy:B) )

 

Kevin

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Briar

 

Then I'm hit with a funny thought, I'm sure she thought I'd prefer the brown umbrella because it wasn't as "gay" as the pink one, when in fact my main reason for wanting the brown one was that the pink would have clashed with my outfit, whereas the brown matched my shoes and belt nicely and really finished off the ensemble.

 

:lol:

 

 

Now that I'm not particularly close with them anymore, I mostly think I should just mind my own business. On the other hand part of me feels like...I dunno like if this is going to be a huge mistake I should do something. I mean they actually seem fairly happy, I'm just mostly worried about Josh. She's very dominant, they're not even married yet and she controls alot of the finances, and usually gets her way on other issues. Not that I think she'll take advantage of him, she really is a pretty decent person, a nice girl with a strong sense of fairness, but he's really laid back and just goes along with whatever. She could definitely end up in a very controlling position. Of course mostly I'm just thinking it really sucks for him if he's at all into guys to marry a homophobe. I mean it can't be easy to surpress your feelings anyway, but to then try to redirect them to a person who couldn't even understand in the first place... I dunno, it's not like there's anything I can do anyway. I'm certainly not going to butt into their business, and I probably wouldn't even if I were still close with them. Besides at this point anything I said or did would definitely be perceived as an attack.

 

 

It might not be your place to say anything, but if you think Josh might be making a huge mistake maybe you should? If he is gay or at least bi, marrying a female and one that is homophobe can't be good for him and can lead to all sorts of problems for him. And her. Vic's advice sounds good.

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Guest Kitty

Guest Kitty

Posted

Hey Vic! :D

I really don't mean this in a silly way, but is there a difference between being gay and having gay tendencies? I mean would "gay tendencies" for example mean...uh I dunno, you were careful to make sure your umbrella didn't clash with your clothes? :P (ok so maybe I got a little silly)

You mean like listening to Chita Rivera CDs and calling them "fabulous"? ;):D

 

Kitty

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