I think you're definitely doing the right thing. You called social services, and you have your mom to back you up if necessary, so you're all covered legally and with support if it turns out to be too much of a burden. I honestly don't see that Chaz has any reason to be upset about this, unless it's something else that he's upset about. *shrugs*

But anyway, good luck ... you're doing a good thing, and good karma always comes around to those who show compassion to those in need. If more people did things like that, perhaps this crazy world we live in would be a better place.

*Hugz*

I think you're definitely doing the right thing. You called social services, and you have your mom to back you up if necessary, so you're all covered legally and with support if it turns out to be too much of a burden. I honestly don't see that Chaz has any reason to be upset about this, unless it's something else that he's upset about. *shrugs*

 

But anyway, good luck ... you're doing a good thing, and good karma always comes around to those who show compassion to those in need. If more people did things like that, perhaps this crazy world we live in would be a better place.

 

*Hugz*

Yeah what you said. If more people were like you Green then people like Eric (sorry dude, if I'm stepping in your turf) would never have to go though what he went though. I'm glad there are people like Joe and you. Yes I see why Chaz is being a bit worried, I've heard enough to see that point too. I'm sure everything will work out fine.. you guys havn't come all this way to have it all fall apart, so I'm not worried.

As for your mom, she's cool and if this guy can stay there on a more permanent basis then you not only will play a much larger role in his life, but he gets to be the brother you might have always wanted.

Does this mean we have to change his name to a color of the rainbow?

I can definitely see Chaz's perspective. What if something happens to the kid? What if his parents decide they want him back for re-education? What if he steals something (I know, unlikely but still...) It's no small deal to bring a teenager into your house, it may be the right thing, but can you afford to? Is it practical? This sounds cold calloused and I feel like slapping myself for saying these things but they are important.

Did you at least consult Chaz? Or did you make this decision on your own? I think that may be the root of the problem. As a couple you should make decisions jointly and not consulting him on one as important as this is insulting to the relationship. I doubt Chaz is honestly upset about you helping this teenager; he's probably more upset with the way you handled his entrance to your house. I'm just hazarding guesses here. I do hope some reconciliation occurs though. It might be a good idea to send him to your moms house so you can chat without him having to fear being kicked out again.

If you're going to try for reconciliation through an intermediary don't do it through friends, it sounds like lines have already been drawn. Try and choose someone whom you both respect but is unlikely to choose sides based on favorites. Here's to hoping that the best occurs for everyone involved!

//shadows

Is Chaz afraid the kid will do something or is he just afraid you'll have less time for him now?

Tob

I was thinking along the same lines as shadows as I was reading your post. Taking another person into your shared home is a major decision, and since you're in a relationship, there's the other person to consider. It sounds like you unilaterally made this decision for both of you.

I'm just speculating, and you won't know until you talk to Chaz. You're in the very beginning of your relationship, so what you're doing now is figuring out how to bring things to each other, how to negotiate, and what kind of relationship "rules" you're going to be going by. Over time you work out ways of handling things (sometimes there might not be time to consult each other before taking action, for example.)

I'm not saying at all that you're wrong for helping this young man; actually, it's admirable, and I respect you for doing it, and I hope it works out for him.

Kitty

Hi Green

I agree with Shadows and Kitty, and I don't really have much to add to what they said. However, it also sounds to me like you're doing a very good thing, so you should be proud of yourself too. I'm sure it'll all work out for the best, and hey on the bright side maybe this will unite Chaz and Selene . Be careful and it really is sweet of you, take care.

Kevin

Yes - it is worth it.

Knowing a bit about David's history, its perfectly understandable that you would open your house to a young person in need. You didn't say you were planning on keeping him, you just offered him a safe place to be until other arrangements could be made. And you started the ball rolling for those other arrangements. If I found myself in the same situation, I wouldn't have hesitated to do the same thing and wouldn't have thought about 'checking' with my husband. That's small potatoes compared to making sure the kid's safe.

Kudo's to you, Green, for your compassion.

Sharon

Green-

I could tell that despite your bluster, you're a sweetheart.

If anything, that quality should endear you to Chaz.

-JS

I have to agree with Shadows and Kitty regarding consulting Chaz, though You are definitely doing the right thing, as I'm sure he knows.

Good on you Green

Camy

Yes! whats there problem shessh. feel bad for ya if they can't understand that. I would help people but as long as I knew they needed it. but for those people that do druges & wasted there money on it its there fault. they could go to a homeless S in sted of asking for money.