Jump to content
  • entries
    131
  • comments
    683
  • views
    54,044

Is it worth it?


GREEN

230 views

Hi guys I know Ive been a little silent for the last couple of days. I've been dealing with a lot these two days and it's left me very emotionally drained. I through some circumstances I cannot mention as it affects my personal and professional life have taken in a homeless teen of the street. He's was living in a park for two weeks until I was made aware of it by other kids.

 

My friends are somewhat cautious and Chaz is treating me like I don't exist right now. I am being cautious trust me but I know this kid and he's a very good kid. He's just having a really rough time right now. His parents have kicked him out over some stuff they found on his PC. We can all relate to this I think. I called social services and the social worker told me that I should keep him here until they could find a stable environment for him.

 

I feel for this kid so badly right now. Imagine going from having everything to losing it all with just two words get out. David, even though he's being cautious I can see the concern in his eyes every time he talks to the kid as his situation was exactly the same. My mother asked me if I needed help with this maybe she could get the state to let him stay with her as she is still certified to be a foster parent (she was a foster parent for five years) I told her that it might be a good Idea.

 

Steve has been very good with him too. Selene is in Chaz's camp right now. They are being nice to the kid but they give me their cold shoulder. I slept in the living room last night. David came out and watched a movie with me for a bit. We talked for a while. I could hear Chaz walking around in the kitchen but he never came in. This morning he left before I could wake up to go to work but I felt him kiss me. This afternoon however he wouldnt even look at me.

 

The kid's parents have made it clear that they do not want them anywhere near the house when i went to get his stuff. They told me the most hateful things I have ever heard spew out of anyone's mouth. I couldn't believe it. I was fuming inside I don't know how I didn't flip and start hitting someone.

 

I've been living in a dream state and I don't know if I am even doing the right thing. I want this kid to find a permanent home. This kids is one of the brightest people I have ever met even though he's only fifteen I can see a bright future for him but seeing him broken down to the point where nothing matters anymore I feel like I need to help. All he needs is for someone to care for him enough to see him through.

 

I know Chaz is angry at me right now but I have reassured him that I wouldnt bring anyone into my house if I didnt trust him in my house. I just want to help someone that needs it right now. So you guys tell me am I doing the right thing here?

 

GREEN + COUCH

10 Comments


Recommended Comments

I think you're definitely doing the right thing. You called social services, and you have your mom to back you up if necessary, so you're all covered legally and with support if it turns out to be too much of a burden. I honestly don't see that Chaz has any reason to be upset about this, unless it's something else that he's upset about. *shrugs*

 

But anyway, good luck ... you're doing a good thing, and good karma always comes around to those who show compassion to those in need. If more people did things like that, perhaps this crazy world we live in would be a better place.

 

*Hugz*

Link to comment

I think you're definitely doing the right thing. You called social services, and you have your mom to back you up if necessary, so you're all covered legally and with support if it turns out to be too much of a burden. I honestly don't see that Chaz has any reason to be upset about this, unless it's something else that he's upset about. *shrugs*

 

But anyway, good luck ... you're doing a good thing, and good karma always comes around to those who show compassion to those in need. If more people did things like that, perhaps this crazy world we live in would be a better place.

 

*Hugz*

 

 

Yeah what you said. If more people were like you Green then people like Eric (sorry dude, if I'm stepping in your turf) would never have to go though what he went though. I'm glad there are people like Joe and you. Yes I see why Chaz is being a bit worried, I've heard enough to see that point too. I'm sure everything will work out fine.. you guys havn't come all this way to have it all fall apart, so I'm not worried.

 

As for your mom, she's cool and if this guy can stay there on a more permanent basis then you not only will play a much larger role in his life, but he gets to be the brother you might have always wanted.

 

Does this mean we have to change his name to a color of the rainbow? :lmao:

Link to comment

I can definitely see Chaz's perspective. What if something happens to the kid? What if his parents decide they want him back for re-education? What if he steals something (I know, unlikely but still...) It's no small deal to bring a teenager into your house, it may be the right thing, but can you afford to? Is it practical? This sounds cold calloused and I feel like slapping myself for saying these things but they are important.

 

Did you at least consult Chaz? Or did you make this decision on your own? I think that may be the root of the problem. As a couple you should make decisions jointly and not consulting him on one as important as this is insulting to the relationship. I doubt Chaz is honestly upset about you helping this teenager; he's probably more upset with the way you handled his entrance to your house. I'm just hazarding guesses here. I do hope some reconciliation occurs though. It might be a good idea to send him to your moms house so you can chat without him having to fear being kicked out again.

 

If you're going to try for reconciliation through an intermediary don't do it through friends, it sounds like lines have already been drawn. Try and choose someone whom you both respect but is unlikely to choose sides based on favorites. Here's to hoping that the best occurs for everyone involved!

 

//shadows

Link to comment
Guest Kitty

Posted

I was thinking along the same lines as shadows as I was reading your post. Taking another person into your shared home is a major decision, and since you're in a relationship, there's the other person to consider. It sounds like you unilaterally made this decision for both of you.

 

I'm just speculating, and you won't know until you talk to Chaz. You're in the very beginning of your relationship, so what you're doing now is figuring out how to bring things to each other, how to negotiate, and what kind of relationship "rules" you're going to be going by. Over time you work out ways of handling things (sometimes there might not be time to consult each other before taking action, for example.)

 

I'm not saying at all that you're wrong for helping this young man; actually, it's admirable, and I respect you for doing it, and I hope it works out for him.

 

 

Kitty

Link to comment

Hi Green :)

 

I agree with Shadows and Kitty, and I don't really have much to add to what they said. However, it also sounds to me like you're doing a very good thing, so you should be proud of yourself too. I'm sure it'll all work out for the best, and hey on the bright side maybe this will unite Chaz and Selene :mellow: . Be careful and it really is sweet of you, take care.

 

Kevin

Link to comment

Yes - it is worth it.

 

Knowing a bit about David's history, its perfectly understandable that you would open your house to a young person in need. You didn't say you were planning on keeping him, you just offered him a safe place to be until other arrangements could be made. And you started the ball rolling for those other arrangements. If I found myself in the same situation, I wouldn't have hesitated to do the same thing and wouldn't have thought about 'checking' with my husband. That's small potatoes compared to making sure the kid's safe.

 

Kudo's to you, Green, for your compassion.

 

Sharon

Link to comment

Green-

 

I could tell that despite your bluster, you're a sweetheart.

 

If anything, that quality should endear you to Chaz.

 

 

-JS

Link to comment

I have to agree with Shadows and Kitty regarding consulting Chaz, though You are definitely doing the right thing, as I'm sure he knows.

 

Good on you Green

 

Camy B)

Link to comment
Guest Blue-

Posted

Yes! whats there problem shessh. feel bad for ya if they can't understand that. I would help people but as long as I knew they needed it. but for those people that do druges & wasted there money on it its there fault. they could go to a homeless S in sted of asking for money.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..