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Is it worth it? PART 2


Chaz

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I came home a couple of hours ago. Green and the kid were seated on the floor with big headphones listening to music. Green makes me angry some times I will admit. Before he took this kid in he called me and told me he was doing it. He didn't really ask me he just said he was doing it. I know this is his house ultimately but I feel like he and I are a team right now. I think it's great that he can help this kid and I find myself helping the kid too it's just well I would be nice just to be asked.

 

I mean maybe I am being overdramatic here but what's it going to be like when we get married. I want to know that he's going to trust me. I want to know that I can trust him like I do right now forever. If he cant trust me is it worth it for us to even be together?

 

Well I am talking to him now and I told him these in explicit detail. Yes we're good now. Thanks guys and please keep your questions coming.

 

GREEN + CHAZ - COUCH

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Guest Blue-

Posted

You two now that your engaged or getting marryed should tell one another when your doing something like that.

Hope you two stay together you really love one another right? then you should! Good Luck!

 

PS: bad spelling! evil

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Green and Chaz,

 

I concur with Shadows and Kitty and Blue. I have read both blog entries. What I read from Green (not throwing the words back to him) but I read that he took the teenager into his house (Green said "my house")

 

No wonder Chaz doesn't feel like its OUR house as in Green and Chaz's house.

 

As Blue said, since you two are getting married don't you think Green you should have first communicated all this with Chaz and come up with a plan of action. To me, the way you did it seems as if you somehow don't believe Chaz would have helped and that only you have the solutions. That's not very fair. This was a huge decision and to me you didn't have the confidence to trust and believe in your relationship (again your old sabotage the relationship issues) to discuss first and decide together!

 

Couples communicate with each other about big decisions. This was a big one! Green did you stop and think that on such a deal you should have spoken first to Chaz? He is to be your husband..not your room mate.

 

Add to that is the fact that you also have David in your home. I would have hoped you sat down with David too. It is his home too.

 

Add to that and you have a wonderful resource expert in your Mom, who is a certified foster care parent.

 

I mean, how can a smart guy like you act first then wonder why everyone is upset. This was huge.

 

I am sure if you got everyone together, sat down and put your heads together you would have been able to achieve the same result. I am sure that your Mom could have instantly taken in the teen (your blog entry says she offered. I am also sure that Social Services would have immediately preferred that because your Mom has a legal status of a foster parent and she has been through their system.)

 

Heck, I bet if you had even sent an email to Eric he could have consulted with Joe to give you some helpful hints.

 

To me the clear common sense solution is that the teen stays with your Mom who has offered. She can become his foster parent and he gets a safe place to live with a Mom who is an Angel and very loving and accepting of her Gay sons (to me she is a Mom to Green, Chaz, David, Green and Chaz's brothers and I am sure Steven too (David's BF) I bet she even finds redeeming qualities in Robert!!

 

Green your big issue is your lack of communication. You are a Super Hero who isn't using your super powers to find a good solution that is perfect for your homeless friend (the sooner that he becomes a foster child assigned to your Mom the more legal protections he has and gives him protections to fight against his parents. To me, right now, his parents can say ok come home and what protection does he have now? none. Then you really haven't helped him. I would think the moment you get your Mom assigned, the better off he is) We all you for your Super Hero heart but we love you more when you communicate with the Super Heros in your life that since you Love them...so its far more important that you communicate with them what is in your heart....talk first, act second!

 

I don't mean to be harsh but it appears you have the solution right under your nose...grrr....and instead everyone is upset and distrustful and Green and Chaz are fighting and the poor kid needs a Mom like Green's....heck I bet at that point, even Chaz's parents will assist.

 

I hope you figure out Super Hero Green that even Super Heros need a team to help him.

 

I will say my prayers and send out good karma and hope that you get your Mom to become the teen's foster Mom and get him legal protected status. You don't want his parents to come back, as Shadows said, throw him in a 're-education program' where ultimate harm and damage will come to his psyche and heart and soul.

 

Good Luck and try communication first...and using the resources available to you and stop being only you can be the Super Hero!! Geez, you have your Super Hero Mom, your Super Hero fiancee and your Super Hero friends......grrrr...... sometimes Green I love ya and sometimes I want to do kick your Super Hero butt!

 

Michael

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Michael you are totally right in this. the kid is no longer staying with us. He's been moved to another home where they can help him better than I can. My mother was instrumental in getting him a good foster home.

I know I should have spoken to chaz but when I saw the kid on the street I had to act fast. I had met his oparents on other occations and I know how evil these people could be. I called Chaz and I told him that I had to do it. I couldn't just leave the kid there.

As for my mother taking him you are right she should have taken him but I didn't feel comfortable with the liar being there and all. He's not the greatest person to be introduced to, you know?

David was away during all this but I did call him later on he said that it was alright with him.

About me saying my house I thought about this. I need to work on this. It's just that I've been saying this since I was given the house. I really need to stop. I trust Chaz with everything it's just a matter of getting used to that.

GREEN

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Green and Chaz,

 

I didn't want to be right..I just love and respect you both and I so want for you both for you to communicate with each other. Even when you have to act fast Green...just use your cell phone and say to Chaz..ok, I have this situation...can you meet me here or I am going to take him to our house..and we can figure out how to keep him safe. Make it an US (as in Green and Chaz equals Communication equals LOVE and Mutual Support and Mutual Trust and a couples decision)

 

Both of you have Super Hero Hearts of Gold and Chaz would have been there in a second..and everyone could have helped out.

 

Just keep remembering Green you are not Green you are Green plus Chaz....so communicate...if you feel you have then communicate any way (better to say it twice then not at all)

 

I know your Mom would come through (and true about your friend being exposed to your half brother who has his own issues that are huge)

 

Just keep remembering Green you have amazing resources at your finger tips..the first and foremost one is the Man you kiss goodnight and Good morning with "I Love Yous" and that you both love each other more then life itself.....it is a special gift two Super Heroes have...it is precious and needs to be gently and always treated with the respect of what Love is....

 

We are all human...we all make mistakes...your heart is in the right place..we all would have made sure the teen was safe....its just making sure your Super Hero Powers are in the ON and COMMUNICATION mode....the first of which is to communicate with Chaz...

 

Do that and you both will be in the Rainbow Retirement Village at age 90 still hot for each other and madly in love as always:)

 

I also hope that you as a group stay in touch with your new found "foster bro"....he needs a friend and each of you to help him now more then ever...it can't hurt to consult with your Mom all the time and PM/email Eric (Coming Undone) since Joe is an invaluable resource and I am sure Eric and Joe could give you helpful hints...also there are other resources...Lambdalegal.org and other organizations (I bet even the local GLBT center)....it will all work out and so Super Hero hugs just remember keep your communication decoder ring and cell phone activated with the first call to Chaz at all times:)

 

Our prayers and good karma go out to your teen that you rescued...he will need lots of love and support in the coming days, weeks, months and years!!

 

Love and hugs sent to Green and Chaz....our Super Heroes and to Green's Mom:) Our Super Hero Angel!!!

 

0:):2thumbs::D

 

Michael

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Hi guys I just want to fill you in on what's going on. Um Green and David were in a car accident last night. David has a broken collar bone and a pretty nasty cut on the side of his head. Green is not doing to well. He's in icu right now. David doesn't remember what happened. They found Green's car in the breakdown lane on it's side. Green was hanging from his seatbelt unconscious. Green is in a comma and they don't know how much more they can do. I just wanted to let you guys know. Sorry I'm writing this from a cellphone and it's my only release.

 

Chaz

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Dearest Chaz, Green and David and your loved ones,

 

You are in my prayers and I am sending out good Karma and lots of prayers said for Green and David's full recovery to full health.

 

May the Angels be with you and watch over you. I wish I could do and say more.

 

Prayers and Hugs and Lots of Love and Good Karma sent your way.

 

I hope Green is out of the coma soon and you have good news....and that Green and David are on their way to a speedy full recovery!!

 

Michael

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This is the first time you've heard of me, but I do hope that it won't be the last time I'll hear from Chaz and Green... your blog entry have been a really bright spot full of life, so I'm very sorry to hear that awful news.

I know you don't know me at all, and I don't really know you, but I'm sending you my best wishes for a good recovery!

annushka

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This is the first time you've heard of me, but I do hope that it won't be the last time I'll hear from Chaz and Green... your blog entry have been a really bright spot full of life, so I'm very sorry to hear that awful news.

I know you don't know me at all, and I don't really know you, but I'm sending you my best wishes for a good recovery!

annushka

 

 

I guess not everyone reads the boards so I guess I'll add here what other's might not have heard.

 

Chaz posted on the boards. The 411 on Green.

 

I'm a bit speechless right now. regarding the news of Green passing away. I really don't know what to say, except for the sake of Chaz and Green's friends and family... I wish it was a really bad dream and not true. :,(

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Chaz and Green's family and friends and David,

 

I am also speechless and heartbroken for all of you. As Julia from the UK said, keep the beautiful memories of Green in your heart. I know he will always be with you and with each of us. He touched our hearts and souls and minds in many, many wonderful ways. Green, to me, is now an Angel to watch over each of you.

 

My prayers and thoughts and hopes that in time you find peace in the love you have for Green will come to be.

 

Again, my thoughts and prayers and love and hugs go out to each of you.

 

I wish there were more I could say and do. Just know we are here for you now and in the future.

 

Michael

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Chaz...

 

There is so much I want to say...

 

Just like everyone here, I am still in shock about Green.

 

And just like everyone here, my heart and thoughts are with you.

 

Chaz, I want you to remember that you are loved and wanted and needed here. And you are loved and wanted and needed by your family and your friends and you are loved and wanted and needed by Greens family and his friends.

 

Life is so unfair at times. There is nothing more to say about it than it is unfair. If it was fair, you and Green would have gotten married and had a tribe of kids and grown old together...and as Michael said, holding hands when you are 90 and rocking on the front porch of the nursing home.

 

Even though Green is gone, the love you have for him will always be there. And that's a good thing. You may not believe it right now, but there are gonna be days where you will be able to go on and live your life knowing that Green is there, in your heart...and then, there are days where you wont even be able to get out of bed in the morning, because all you have of Green is in your heart.

 

Chaz, anyone could see the love that you had for Green. And it was a love that is rare. Very few people ever get close to the love that you and Green had. You loved him unreservedly and unconditionally and he was more than blessed to have had you in his life. He knew that the way that you felt about him was rare and special and believe me, he treasured it...And he treasured you too. Green, may not have always been able to show you that he loved you unreservedly and unconditionally but he did. You made his life worthwhile and he knew it...everyone who had any contact with Green, knew how much you meant to him.

 

I know life at the moment varies between swimming through cement and spinning out of control. And all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and try to keep yourself in one piece.

 

The next few weeks and months are gonna be difficult for you (and God...difficult is the understatement of the century) but the most important thing you need to do, is to keep talking and reaching out. And reaching out may be the last thing you want to do...but you need to talk about how you feel. There are heaps of people who are more than willing to listen to you. If you want to talk...please feel free to talk, even if you think you are repeating yourself infinitum. If you need to scream...then scream. If you need to swear...then swear. If you need to cry...then cry. If you need to be silent....then be silent, but don't do it alone... Find someone to talk to, someone who will listen, someone who will offer their shoulder when you need one, and someone who will be quiet with you when you want to be quiet.

 

And remember all those good times you had with Green...they will keep you warm over the cold months ahead.

 

Talk to any one of us Chaz...please don't cut yourself off from us. My email is beeceesplace@yahoo.com.au or beeceesplace@hotmail.com for a chat on msn...you can talk to may anytime sweetie.

 

Bev

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