So lest you guys think there's a new guy in my life I'd better reveal now that the he in question is my adorable cat, Timmy. He's out like a light! wiggling his tail, twitching his paws etc. This is the second afternoon in a row he's chosen the same spot to take a very serious nap! It's a bit unfortunate since I'm planning to buy a filing cabinet to go right there, but I'm sure he'll adapt.....actually he'll whine and be upset like he always is .

Speaking of a new guy in my life I'm planning to attend this...event tonight. It's pride month, and despite my personal opinions about the whole "pride" thing per se ( Sexuality: I just don't care , 8th paragraph for my precise views on the issue) , I have absolutely no qualms about participating in the social aspects of it. It'll be fun and a great chance to meet new people. Anyway I was checking out this website with a calandar of events and it turns out that tonights there's some poolside cocktail party thing at this swanky hotel. Anyway it sounds fun, admission is only $10 and there's appetizers and an open bar. I'm just a little confused about what to wear. The first place I read about it (I later found another site referring to it when I was searching for more info) made it sound really formal, it even described it as a "black tie event", but it did stress that you were free to come as casually or formally as you pleased. So based on that I was going to dress up alot. Then this last place referred to it as a "casual party", used the word casual several times and never mentioned it being formal at all . So blah, I dunno. Unfortunately there's no number to call so I can't like call and ask. I think I'll try to dress somewhere in the nexus of formal and casual. I mean heck it's a bunch of gay guys they'll probably be more concerned with how I look in the clothes than the clothes themselves anyway .....oh wait that's straight guys about women, gay guys do care about clothes don't they? :wacko: Anyway I guess I'm a bit nervous about it. I'm worried it'll be alot of older guys and I'll look like a silly kid. But it's always fun meeting new people, and I really want to go. So....

I'm also a bit concerned because it'll be kinda late before it's over, plus I'm half thinking of going out afterwards, but there's this 5k walk/run thing that I really want to do! It's also part of the "pride" thing. And I see that maybe being my target demographic. There's even a 20-25 age bracket. But it starts really early Saturday, so it may not be a great idea to stay our really late, then get up early the next day for a 5 mile walk. **sigh** to top it off I forgot to register for it, and no one answered when I called the information number. So I'm sorta just going to have to show up and hope they can get me signed up on the spot.

I'm also really tired today anyway, I stayed up WAY too late last night (4:30, and got up at 6:00). It sucked! I'm usually (well lately) good about getting enough sleep too, but last night I just kept getting distracted with stuff. Like you ever decide, "well I'm going to clean up ___", then "well while I'm at it I'll do ___", then "well now I might as well do ___ too". Well that happened to me. But on the plus side I got ALOT done.

My washer hose finally showed up yesterday, I've been waiting for it for a long time so I could do some laundry. That's the good news. The bad news is it won't work . At least not by itself. It's a "fill" hose and I need a fill/drain hose. IF I could get a drain hose too, maybe there's some kinda way I could connect them and make it work, but I can't do anything with what I've got now. I thought the part I ordered would be the combo...but no . There's another part in the book, so in a bit I'm gonna call and see if maybe THAT'S the drain hose, and hopefully it'll also come with some kinda kit to connect the two. But actually I'm not too optimistic about this, in fact I'm frickin really mad and frustrated! I'm down to one towel!! ONE TOWEL! How crazy is that??? Even if there is some way to order the part I really do need it'll take a good week (or 2 to 2.5) to get here. I'm just going to have to take my laundry to the wash room GRRRR. I've only used a wash room once and I didn't particularly care for it. Oh well, maybe this time will be better. I'm actually pretty okay with everything but towels. I have such a clothes addiction that I can go a long time before I run out of stuff to wear. In fact I'm positive I could go another 2 and a half weeks easily before I run out of anything else. It's just the towel situation that's dire.

Speaking of clothes, belts seem to be my new addiction. It's crazy, last year I had either 2 or 3. This year I have 10. In fact I bought 3 in one day, Wednesday. I love the ones I got though! I can't wait to wear them! I got a pretty good variety too, I got this brown one with metal spikes, this funky black one with like a bunch of colours running through the middle, and this brown leather one with birds and stuff stitched into it....okay so they all sound really weird writing about them, but I really like them! It's very embarrassing though, I feel like I've been way too materialistic lately.

Actually this feeling prompted a whole quest for deep introspection and spiritual fulfillment. I spent an entire day last week analyizing all the junk in my head. I started with a nice walk in the park, and wrote some in this notebook I had. Then it started to rain so I went to the aqaurium and wrote ALOT more. I even condensed my results into a blog entry...then I decided not to post it because I was literally talking about my deepest secrets and fears, and all my worst issues and problems...so yeah made me feel a little too vulnerable , but just writing it helped alot. And I'm definitely planning to do it again soon. Mostly the first time I touched on emotional/psychological stuff. I want to do it again and just focus on spirituality.

In other news work's going pretty well. At least they tell me it's going pretty well. I'm still doing the training stuff, but I've been getting a bunch of praise and positive attention from the people over me. Well I say the people over me, but it's actually a really weird (to me) situation. Technically I'll be "self-employed", just sort of an independent agent for the company. Basically they'll provide me with materials and "leads" to call, but everything else is completely up to me. There's no salary at all everything is purely commissions, bonuses, and stock in the company. It's a little scary that I could just not make anything, but they keep reinforcing that it all depends on how much time and effort you put in. And actually it really doesn't look that hard, I was a little skeptical but it seems okay. And anyway I can just leave if I don't like it. The nice thing is that apart from meetings on Friday I can do whatever I want the rest of the week (well once training and testing is over that is). They don't care when you work...they don't even really care IF you work, you just won't get paid if you don't . So that's delightfully flexible, and it should fit really nicely with my personal life. If I'm busy with other stuff, but okay for money (which I'm so not right now ....I literally haven't been this broke in the last 5 years) I'll just cut back on working, if I need the cash I can just work extra hard. LOL and the awesome thing is that I can decide what days I want to work. So yay! Once I actually start doing stuff (which will still be another couple of weeks ), I'll let you guys know how it's going.

Anyway this is definitely a long enough entry so I'll stop here. I just want to add (HA! you thought I was stopping for real didn't you ), that I'm sorry I haven't been on much and haven't been too active in the forums or blogs, or leaving feedback in the efiction section. Stuff's just been hectic, but I hope to catch up on everything soon. LOL and eventually I want to start going back into chat . Anyway take care everyone and have an awesome day!!

Kevin