Here's what happens to me in real life(read: Away from the internet)................

My alarm goes off at 5:10 in the morning and I use my fist to find the snooze button so I dont have to open my eyes....this also helps me gain some measure of revenge with the alarm clock for interupting my sleep.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself for about a minute and try to think about whatever it is I plan to do next. Once I come to grips with the fact that I don't have enough time to go back to bed, I bitterly curl the left side of my upper lip and start to exfoliate.

Once I've exfoliated, I start the shower, but before I get in, I walk back out to the hallway and get a towel and a wash cloth. Usually, as I'm doing this, I stub my toe in the door jam of the closet, or if I'm on a roll, the bathroom door catches it first, then I do it again in the closet.

Now that I'm really cranky, I hang my towel and strip my boxers off so I can get in the shower. Once I'm in, I usually lean against the shower wall and sleep while the water pours off my back. Once I start to wake up again, I give my hair a tea tree treatment and I scrub twice from head to toe.

As soon as I get out, I get a mouthful of listerine and swish it around while I dry off and go to my room to find my outfit for the day. Once I have my boxers and a shirt on, I give my crotch a shot of baby powder, then I put my pants on.

Now that I'm almost fully dressed, I head back down the hall to the bathroom where I spit the listerine out and brush my teeth. Once I've brushed, I floss, then I brush again, then I rinse one more time with listerine. Once my mouth is burning from the minty freshness of the germ fighting powers of Listerine, I spit it out and do my hair. This is normally a twenty minute process but sometimes it can take longer, depending on how queenish my mood is.

Now that my hair is done, I'm at a crossroad.....I can either use a Qtip in my ears and call it a morning, or I can use the Qtip in my ears, then, use it to style my eyelashes. Again, it depends on my queen meter.

Once I'm good to go in the mirror, I get my sock and shoes on, then I put my belt on. Now, I have a theory about shoes and belts.....they're riddled with germs. Once I've put them on, it's time to go back down the hall to wash my hands.

At this point I can find myself either at my desk checking out the forums and seeing who's on to chat, or at my desk finishing the homework I didn't finish the night before......if I do the latter, it has to be done with the utmost secretcy or I can find myself grounded for not getting it done the night before.

Now, here's where I used to be able to say that I down a redbull and eat some grits....now I'm not allowed to have Redbull anymore and instead of grits I have a bowl of cheerios or some other whole grain cereal. While I eat my dad goes through my backpack for whatever reason. I still havent figured out what it is he thinks he'll find, but since I have nothing to hide, it doesnt really bug me. While he digs through my stuff, I always call Taylor and we talk until it's time for us to leave.

Once we're out the door, it's wartime. Sometimes I can get him to let me drive to my school, but usually, he bitches about time and traffic and bullies his way into the drivers seat. In retaliation, I hit the seek button on the stereo and drive him nuts. Just when we find station we like, I change it just to be annoying

Once I get to school my fag hag Christine gives me my Redbull. I down it like a beer and we're off for our day of scholastic nourishment.

After school a few things can happen.....I can get a ride from someone(not often), my stepmom might pick me up, or more likely than not, I ride the bus home. When I get home I go straight to the fridge and find something to eat, then I start my homework. This is where it gets interesting, because usually, Taylor comes over and he wants all of my attention. I can't always give it to him because not only am I wrapped up in my homework, but his too, and while Im doing that, about 10 different people typically IM me throughout the evening.

I walk with Taylor back to his house at 10 and it always hurts to leave. During the summer we dont have to be apart. We hang out non stop all day and night. If it didnt rain, we usually slept in my back yard(or his...he has a pool, we dont )

When I get home I have to start my homework again, but i have to do it while Im on the phone with Taylor and usually we're chatting on AOL too. Add to that the fact that I have a ton of other people wanting some of my time, and it gets a little hectic.

While all of this is happening, I still have to update my stories. That means writing the chapters, getting them off to my editor and my beta readers, then thinking of the most outrageous questions I can possibly ask them about the chapter they just read. If it's a new month, I have to review the recomendations that I get from the NJ Excellence committee and send everything back to them for final voting.

The point in all of this??? If you're a regular reader of one of my stories and I'm not updating as often as you'd like, please be patient. I'm working on it