100 Blogs Later
Entry posted by AFriendlyFace
445 views
Hi all,
I thought quite a bit about what I wanted to do for my 100th entry, since, though rationally it's only an artificial milestone and not any more significant than any other blog entry, it's still ostensibly special. Anyway, my thoughts ranged from creating a sort of "blog quiz" that would be taken from the previous 99 entries (decided that would be way too much work for me, and few people would feel inclined to sit there and take the thing anyway) to making it into a silly story (couldn't come up with a proper storyline, and I just recently did the story in a blog thing anyway) to finally doing the sing-along blog entry I've been wanting to do for months (still can't settle on all the songs I want to use). Finally, I was sure I'd made up my mind and began creating a blog with 100 random facts about myself. Fifty-five facts, and four hours later I decided that, no, this wasn't really what I wanted to do either.
Instead I've decided to use this blog entry as a sort of bridge. An opportunity to examine my past, particularly but not limited to, the last 21 months (my time here at GA), and more importantly evaluate the present, and anticipate the future. Obviously these are lofty goals, but I shall nonetheless undertake them within the confines of this relatively short blog.
When I visited this site at the beginning of July in 2005 (I joined about two weeks later), I was feeling stressed out, tired, and a little trapped. My personal life was...boring. All my friends consisted of people I worked with or else the handfull I'd kept up with since high school. I was heavily closeted, taking a boring, but time-consuming, summer class (Latin), and basically doing my best to finish school before I completely lost what remained of my motivation (I had the rest of the summer and then the fall and spring ahead of me). I was also in a pleasant and easy, but boring job.
Then one evening I decided to check out Nifty and see if I could find a decent story that would be good for more than *ahem* a few minutes of fun. I came across The Ordinary Us, and I can truthfully say that that event changed my life. (well my particular brand of life philosophy is such that I believe every event no matter how small "changes" one's life, but in this case I mean it in the more tangible, significant way that most people do when they say something like that). It wasn't exactly TOU that changed my life (although I suppose it did), but more the fact that it ultimately led me here.
Looking back I doubt I would have moved away from Lousiana when I did if I hadn't been here. I also probably wouldn't have come out to my mom, and I bet I wouldn't have even expanded my circle to include more GLBT friends. Through GA I've had a completely AWESOME and amazing experience. I've met some truly incredible people, read some truly wonderful literature, and even attempted to write a bit myself. I've done things and been a part of things I never would have dreamed possible before coming here, and I'm truly and deeply grateful.
Now, nearly two years later, I'm living in a new city. I'm completely out to everyone that knows me. I have a wide and varied circle of friends, and overall the whole experience has given me the opportunity to see and do things I'd never have even thought of previously.
I regret nothing. I don't regret my past, even the part prior to GA. I certainly don't regret the last two years, and I have no qualms about the plans I have for my future.
Yet, as happy as I am right now, as much as I like my "new life", I've never planned for it to be anything but temporary - a sort of transition until I find something else. I like my job, and I absolutely adore my coworkers, if it's possible I think I'm even closer with them than I was with the ones back in La. Yet, it's definitely time for me to move on. I'll be sorely disappointed if I'm there another month. I really like my apartment, but the whole complex is being torn down and I'm forced to move. My two best friends, arguably two of the best friends I've ever had will be married and moved half-way across the country by the end of the summer.
No matter how you look at things everything will indeed be different within the next four months. I'm sort of sorry about that I suppose. If time would simply stop I'd be happy to while away an indefinite number of days in this exciting, almost surreal life. But time won't stop, and regrettably I'm running rather low on it. My exhausted bank account and tiny income can no longer support my carefree lifestyle. Thus, it's time for me to find a new job, go back to school, or both. Probably both. As much as I wish my friends would just stay, they can't, and I understand that it's time for them to move on. There's certainly no point in fighting the move, although as much as the MOVE will suck, I think I'll be crazy about the new place. Then there's the other things. Things I want to do, have to do, but won't do as long as the situation is such as it is.
In many ways it's like the last year has been a vacation of sorts. Actually, that's definitely what it's been, and I definitely wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything. It's been one hell of a ride. But, vacations end and I suppose it's about time I get back to life.
So, in closing I'd like to thank GA, and all those who have read this blog for the last 100 entries. I'm not sure there will be another one-hundred. I'm not sure there will even be another one. I have no idea where I'll be next, but I do know that I'm glad I was here. I also know that, whatever happens, I'll be fine; I always am.
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