In a day or two, depending on your location, I will have been a member of this site for two years. It seems strange, that it has been two years. On the one hand, since I have done so little here, it feels like it has been hardly any time at all. On the other, since I have checked this site near daily during a a time when my entire world has come apart and brought back together, so that I am now quite a different person than I was when i first joined, I can hardly believe it has only been two years. From that August to this has, for me, been a lifetime.

While on the whole, most of the changes I have wrought in myself have been positive ones, but there is something that I cannot stand. I have found myself more or less back in the closet, at least at work. Mostly it is because I don't want to rock the boat, and quite frankly I haven't liked many of my coworkers, so why should I share more of my life with them? But still, it has been easier to just let people assume whatever about me, to nod and demur when people ask who I've been dating, and that makes me slightly ashamed of myself. Where's the little political animal I once was?

Well, he hasn't completely left me. One of my coworkers is homophobic. Blatantly homophobic. He's not an asshole in general, but he is extremely uncomfortable around people he perceives as gay, which may or may not include me, I'm not sure. This has created a situation I find irritating. Especially since he will make fun of our "gay" coworkers when they aren't in earshot. Today I told him mid joke, "That's enough," and thankfully he didn't push it. I do wonder if he is doing this in an attempt to push my buttons, and if I should retaliate with subtly irritation of my own. I know the best thing to do, the honest thing, would be to talk it out with him and explain that I do not feel such jokes are appropriate for the work place, and maybe why. But I don't think that's going to happen.

As I tend to react explosively if something irritates me long enough, the conclusion to these events should prove interesting.