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It's over, he left, I'm still here.


Julio my BF is very mad at me these days. He's very jeallous of my friends and he thinks I'm going to leave him for Chaz. It freaks me out when he talks like that. I've already told him that my friends will always be there but that doesn't mean that he is second to them. I mean I planned on marrying him some day and he's the only person that I have dated I could ever say that about. I love him and it kills me inside when he says these things.

 

Today I told my friends not to come over for a while. I told Chaz that I needed to stay away from him for the next week or so and he understood. Selene was mad ans so were my other friends but ultimately they understood. So I went home and started to cook a nice dinner for Julio and My sure I had a good movie waiting so that we could snuggle. I waited for him and he never came home. I went upstairs and his stuff was gone. It hurts when someone you love decides that they can't be in your life.

 

He left me a messsage on my computer screen. All it said that he would call me when he gets back home to spain. I am sitting here waiting for his call. I can't believe it and I'm writing this to make sure that it's real and that I'm about to puke. He's really gone and for some reason I know I can never forgive that he left without talking to me first. If the problem was so great then why didn't he tell me before. It's over, It's over I am not an optimistic person so I sit here knowing that it's over and I'll have to pick up the the pieces.

 

GREEN

9 Comments


Recommended Comments

JamesSavik

Posted

Oh Green sweetie, I know exactly how much that sucks. :,(

 

I got "left" by a boyfriend in '95 after a short, passionate affair of 6 months or so. It took me THREE times six months to get over it and feel desirable again. In fact, my life is segregated BL "Before Lee" and AL "After Lee".

 

Now is the time that your friends need to rally too you but- beware of reflex to jump in a rebound relationship before you are ready.

Bardeara

Posted

Green dude, I wish I could be there for you, but I know that you will be fine you have your friends and they will be there for you. Don't let this pull you down ok.... No wait let the pain hurt, because if you don't it will fester up and eat at you later on. Trust me on that one, but then I am certain you know that already.

 

So take care dude and keep us in contact. :hug:

Guest Kitty

Posted

I'm so sorry, Green.

 

:hug:

 

Kitty

NaperVic

Posted

Green,

 

I'm so sorry you are going through this and that this has happened to you.

 

This just sucks.

 

My sympathies,

 

Vic

gobears20022002

Posted

Dude, that totally sucks! I hate it when people wont give an explanation for leaving. I am not sure which is worse. Not saying anything and leaving, or lying about why you are leaving. I find both to be disrespectful and chicken-shitted. You need your friends right now. Ending relationships suck. Hopefully in time you can see this as an opportunity for something even better. That's the best spin I can put on it right now.

robbie1042

Posted

Green

 

It always saddens me to here about the break up of a relationship and this one is no different. One never really knows what to say. But from reading your blog for a while now I can tell that your a strong individual. Some one that would just walk away without any explanation does show a certain flaw in character.

 

Be with your friends, grieve the loss, and as I know you can, move on. Every adversity has within it the seed for a thousand opportunities.

 

:hug:

 

Rob :boy:

WVSailor

Posted

Green,

At times such as these, words can never express my sadness. I'm sorry for your loss.

Jim

Masked Monkey

Posted

Green,

 

I'm not around much, but I tend to read the blogs. That really sucks. He clearly has his own problems and does not know how to deal with them, but that doesn't help you. It is really hard to face someone and say you are leaving, but it is really crappy not to do it. In all honesty, bad feelings aside, you deserve better.

 

:king: Snow Dog

Rocketcnj

Posted

Green, I know you have gone away for a few days..I just read your blog entries....all I can say is HUGS and we all are here for you whenever you need to vent and be here for you.

 

I cannot believe Julio would go all the way to Spain and all you got was a Sex and the City computer post it..that he can't take it any more...that does speak of deep issues..his not and its not you and oh my...I don't know what else to say except I am sorry for your pain and hurt....you are one amazing wonderful Guy!!

 

Your friends will be there for you and we are too when you are ready..

 

Hugs sent your way and good thoughts as you grieve....and take your time to work through it all...

 

I am so sorry,

 

Michael

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