I'm a little bit annoyed. Generally things are going well. I'm employed (actually twice-employed) and in class and doing well. The only thing that's not going great is my weight because that's gone back up to the mid-140s instead of the mid 130s like it should be, but even that doesn't really bother me.

The thing that's pissing me the f**K off is the way my mother seems to want to treat me like I'm a child. Okay, yeah, I'm 19, blahblahblah, she's older and she knows better. Whatever. That excuse only holds for so long. It worked fine when I was 15. It did okay when I was 16 and 17. When I was 18 it got old. Now I'm saying f**K that, I'm a goddamned adult.

The big bone of contention betwixt the two of us right now is a car. My grandparents have decided that it's (FINALLY) time to step up to the plate and assist with my procuring a vehicle. There's a Honda Accord we're eyeing for six grand, mildly used. Well my mother is CONVINCED that it is complete and utter folly for me to purchase a vehicle. What the f**K is wrong with her brain?! I'm nineteen goddamn years old and have two jobs and no transportation! That's just plain idiotic!

It's not even like I need her help. My grandmother is the one behind the plan, not my mom. Her hubby, however, has made the comment that "Well if your mom doesn't want you to get a car then I'm not gonna go against her, just wouldn't be right" because he's old school like that. Frankly, I don't care, I'll get it regardless if it's in the shape I think it is and my great uncle will sell it to me on a financed basis, lol. Not like I have six grand to fork over right now, but I could get a serious drop in that bucket pretty quick if I need to.

My mom just doesn't seem to want to let me actually BE an adult. She's always been like this, but it's time to back the f**K off. She's not paying my bills (well aside from my cell phone bill but that's on her, I didn't make her and if need be I'll take that off her hands too), she's not paying for my education, she's not paying for me. It's MY money, MY life, MY everything so she really has no f**king say in whether or not I get this car. I don't want to make her angry with me, but I'm going to have a vehicle within the next month. It's high time that I got one, I'm sick of having to bum rides and feeling like I'm dancing halfway between being a kid and an adult.

Her stance is that I only have two months before that DUI is gone and I don't need expensive insurance, so I should wait. I'm gonna be making approximately 1000 a month before taxes, which granted isn't a lot, but it's enough. Let's add up, shall we? Computer bill is 100 a month, credit card needs to be paid off and there's a total of 400 on it right now, and those are my current expenses excluding the day-to-day things. I have 200 in the bank right now, and computer's paid for the month. I have a check coming on the 30th, and I'll also be drawing my desk assistant paycheck which should total up to about 250. I have a lil over 300 on my credit card that's usable. All told, by the end of the month my usable money should total up to about 1600 dollars. I'm pretty sure that I can handle this car, especially since I ALSO work in the mall now too. Let's add in another 250 near the end of the month from THAT paycheck.

I'm kickin' two grand now. I KNOW I can do this. Total income each month should be 1000 (approximately 250 every two weeks from each job, more if I happen to work extra hours which I don't foresee because I'm lazy), right? 1000- 100 for computer- 100 for credit card bill (I never pay less than 100 a month, 'cause that's just dumb if you use it and don't pay it off ASAP and I use mine for daily expenses)- 200 for car payment- 300 for initial insurance payment = 300 dollars left. COME THE f**K ON, I'm not even cutting it that close!!! That means I can pay off MORE of my computer at a time, or MORE of my car at a time. PLUS my grandma has already told me that she'd put 100 toward my car every month, so I mean really I'd only have to pay 100 but I want to pay 200 just to get it over with quicker. Even besides that... you realize I can sell plasma for 240 dollars a month if I had time to do it? Oh, and transportation, too. 'Course I probably won't do that unless I just needed or wanted extra money because that's a hassle with a tight schedule, but yeah.

My entire point with all that is simply that while I'm not making a f**kton of money, I am making enough to get this car and pay the insurance, especially since in about two months it'll go down to damn near half of what I'd pay now for the insurance. I'd be okay.

I'm convinced that this is one of those things to where she just doesn't want to admit that I'm completely independent, that I don't rely on her at every turn for everything, and that she has no influence other than giving her opinion on my decisions.

That said, I'm trying not to be mean to her because she has done a wonderful job of supporting me when I've needed it, and covering the really unexpected things that come up like the rare expensive doctor visit or what have you, ESPECIALLY last year before I had an income. I love her very much, but it's really time to back off and let me do what I need to do.

Also if one more person tells me "school comes first!" I'll punch them in their spoiled f**king mouth. They're not paying for everything themselves, so they can kiss my ass. Oh and my grades are probably better than theirs any f**king way.

DONE ranting. I'm exciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiited for schooooooooooooool 'cause I'm haaaaaaaaaaappy! I'm so ready to get into the swing of things! I love psych classes and that's virtually all I have this semester. WOOHOOO. Okay I'm shuttin' up now 'cause I'ma go find caffeine and maybe something to do to waste an hour or two before I need to go to my next class. Bye.