So you have no idea what I've been putting up with lately... Things like:

What kinda noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster.

Is a lonely buffalo a buffalone?

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.

So we went out to dinner tonight. We're waiting at the hostess stand to be seated and they ask how many and Rich says four. They ask one kids menu? Two? And my daughter says, "I'm taller than my mother." The three of them look at me like 'what does that mean'? So I say, "One, please."

So we're eating and Annemarie is going on again, as she has been now for a terrifying few days, about Taylor Lautner. He's this kid that was in the Twilight movie. In case you don't know what he looks like... here's a picture for your consideration. Taylor Lautner He's so sexy, so hot, OMG have you seen his abs?! When she first started all this talk, I had no idea who this kid was, and when we were in the store and she was asking for the J-14 magazine with him in it, I took a peek... He reminds me of some animal, I can't pinpoint which exactly, but weird, anyway. So Rich told her that the kid looks like a monkey, and she was horribly offended on his behalf.

So during dinner she says again, "OMG have you SEEN his abs?!" And Rich tells her that the pictures are airbrushed, and again she's horrified at the idea and says, "You're just jealous cause you don't have abs." So he replies, "I have abs! They're just covered by a layer of fat..." and while she's trying to figure that out, he says, "Gimme a half hour and I can have abs like that, too."

"Nuh uh, Dad. He's been a black belt in karate since he was 7!" We roll our eyes at her and she's not backing down, so Rich says, "Yeah, well, he still looks like a monkey." So she says, "No, you know who looks like a monkey?" We wait expectantly...

*cough* YOU *cough*

So Rich says, "Hmmmm..." and I say, "Have you seen his abs?!"

Then Matty says, "Can we tell 'Your Mama Jokes'? and I say they can if they go like 'Your mama is so pretty' or 'Your mama is so smart' so he says, "Oh... well how about 'Your Great-Grandma Jokes'?"

Okay fine... His friend, Arturo, told him this one today... thank you, Arturo

Your Great-Grandma is so fat that she sat on the toilet and it said, "ABCDEFG, get your fat butt offa me". :wacko:

So I downloaded the new Fallout Boy album, admittedly, because Brendon Urie (quite possibly the prettiest boy ever) is featured on a song, but I'm totally liking it, so BONUS! Also, I recently saw this video they were in for Gym Class Heroes for the song "Clothes Off" which was a song when I was a kid, and they're wearing LARGE animal suits, bears, dogs, and what I believe might be an otter. Anyway, it's really quite amusing to see Ryan Ross in an otter suit freaking another dude

Rich had an interview today! YAY! I got his portfolio all fixed up for him, picked out his clothes... he NEEDS some shoes... good thing I know a thing or three about shoe shopping

A naked boy just walked through my bedroom wrapped in a towel, winking at me and smooching in my direction...

OH! So the other day my favorite fireman was in the store shopping, and miraculously, I wasn't leading a tour or cheering with a bunch of 8 year olds. And... he talked to me! Giggle. This is SO teenage girl... just saying. We have these monitors at the checkstands that play 'Checkout TV' for the customers while they wait in line, and one of the speakers on one of them was making this awful static noise and I had looked at it and couldn't find a way to shut it off. So I was walking past him that day, and he said to me that it sounded like that thing was going to blow up, and I agreed and said I had looked for a way to shut it off, but there doesn't seem to be one, so he tells me to call him when it happens, and I say that I will, but since they are there all the time anyway...

Annemarie just walked in screaming that her belt broke! It was a white one with star cut-outs and star studs on it and so Rich said, "Time to go on a diet?" and she was all 'Oh NO he didn't' status and said, "You know what, Monkey?!" so I iterject, "Have you seen his abs?!" and Rich says, "I have an ab," and she points out that the greedy kid has eight!

Hugs,

Viv

PS. David, I REALLY had a lot of fun talking to you the other day! Hope you're not lurking again!