[NickolasJames8] Time in a bottle - Chap 6

[Conner]

Another extraordinary story, Nick. Beautifully written, beautifully told.

 

Needless to say, it was a diiffcult story to read. Personnally, I couldn't have lived Jack's life. The metaphor 'living hell' comes to mind. It reminds me of how different we all are; how we react to life's challenges...for this story, though, 'challenges' is somewhat of an understatement.

 

Family secrets, especially those with shame attached to them, place an incredible burden on children. They grow up off-centre, tilted in some way. They often feel defective, like they're damaged goods, but really don't comprehend where that came from. They're saturated with the shame. Then it is the children who start the cycle all over again with their own families.

 

This story also caused me to ponder 'God's will' for us all. I'll spare you all my rant on that subject.

 

I must admit to some disappointment that Jack never seemed to give his sexuality any serious thought. The whole thing was an impulse which he didn't understand himself. But being a man who couldn't seem to go on without being honest with his wife, he tells Mary. I really wish he hadn't.

 

Nick, this story had incredible depth to it. Thank you.

 

 

Conner

[Bondwriter]

Agreed on Conner's first line. Nick is the one for family sagas. And yes, it goes beyond challenges, when someone sees three of his kids die; I won't reread the death of Raymond Jr, that's for sure.

 

I also agree on the fact that Charlie's character, who was really prominent in chapter 1, or at least promising, got out of the picture completely; so the author got dragged into the story and Raymond and his family's troubled life and this affair just was important as a family secret. My guess is that it could have been any other unpleasant secret, an affair with a woman, or even something else, and it would have led to a similar outcome.

 

One formal remark: the background color is too dark for my reading comfort. You could almost have white letters on such a dark background. And it's not the same font size in all chapters. Joe! A job for you!

[Graeme]

The thing that struck me was how much the story sounded like it was narrated by a sixty-year-old. When you remember that the story was written by a teenager, that's impressive and shows the range of talent that Nick is developing.

[swoop67]

Conner said it all...it does make us wonder what god has in store for us.

 

He is a great writer and with all his stories comes some truths that we all must face.

 

Thanks Nick.

[TalonRider]

I think this is by far, IMHO, the most emotional story Nick has done. He made us feel the lost of each son. He made us feel the joyous times. I'll admit, I had a difficult time reading the last couple of paragraphs, due to the happiness and joy that I felt at the family reunion. And during those moments, I've probably called Nick every name in the book, for bringing on the tears.

 

As I read the lyrics to the song, I could hear Jim Crose singing the song in my head.

 

Graeme wrote: The thing that struck me was how much the story sounded like it was narrated by a sixty-year-old. When you remember that the story was written by a teenager, that's impressive and shows the range of talent that Nick is developing. thumbsupsmileyanim.gif

This, in itself, is amazing. Nick is becoming quite the writer and he's assembled quite a team to work with and I'm very proud to work with him.

 

Jan

[NickolasJames8]

Wow...I don't even know what to say. I'm really honored that you all liked the story, and i can't tell you how much all this feedback means to me. Thank you all so much, and I promise to keep working hard to write stories you'll want to read. I'm trying to get away from sex in my stories. I mean in some stories, like Staking My Claim and My Jump Off, there's always going to be slutty, hot sex but I write stuff like that because it's fun. I wrote stories like TIAB because I want to do my best as a writer to give you guys good stories. I hope I was able to do that this time around.

Thanks again for all the support.