Abstinence

[Prince Duchess]

I've been thinking about this for a couple days now and I want others input...So I wanna know do you believe is the best way to go abstinence...and if you were a virgin or if you are a virgin would you or are you abstinent because your waiting for 'the one'?

 

I'm dying to hear from everyone...

[Sir Galahad]

Hell, if I waited for THE ONE, I don't think I would ever have had sex!

Life's too short to be waiting around for someone to drop in your lap, so to speak. I have never regretted losing my cherry when I did, though the venue could have been better. Plus I don't regret all the great sex I've had since then. Believe me when I say, we all think it's the one, but 9 times outta 10 your going to be disappointed. Cynical I know, but just saying it as I see it.

[Arpeggio]

I'll be honest, I do not remember my first time with a guy. But my first time with a girl was weird. It was my best friend and we were 14. lol

[Mark Arbour]

With every sexual experience I have learned something. I think that if I would have waited, I wouldn't be the amazing lover that I am today. (I'm happy in my delusional world)

[Krista]

No. If you have that mindset, saving yourself for your true love.. the moment you lose it to that.. "true love" you've put them on a pedestal, and well when they fall from it.. it hurts worse.

 

I'm not saying throw your virginity away though.. lol. Just don't make it equal to love.

[writeincode]

I said 'yes' but then I reread and it said true love. I lost my virginity accidently to someone I didn't love (even though we'd been together for a while) and wish that I could have (purposely) lost it to my current boyfriend who I do love.

 

So, I don't think you should wait around til you find 'the one' or anything because that is an elusive concept but I think someone you love is preferable, or at least do it on purpose

[SRevol]

i

[AFriendlyFace]

Hell, if I waited for THE ONE, I don't think I would ever have had sex!

Life's too short to be waiting around for someone to drop in your lap, so to speak. I have never regretted losing my cherry when I did, though the venue could have been better. Plus I don't regret all the great sex I've had since then. Believe me when I say, we all think it's the one, but 9 times outta 10 your going to be disappointed. Cynical I know, but just saying it as I see it.

With every sexual experience I have learned something. I think that if I would have waited, I wouldn't be the amazing lover that I am today. (I'm happy in my delusional world)

No. If you have that mindset, saving yourself for your true love.. the moment you lose it to that.. "true love" you've put them on a pedestal, and well when they fall from it.. it hurts worse.

 

I'm not saying throw your virginity away though.. lol. Just don't make it equal to love.

 

 

I tend to agree with these comments.

 

HMM, let me see if I can properly express myself.

 

I believe that sex should be a positive, fulfilling experience for people. People shouldn't have sex unless they're ready and they want to. They also shouldn't do things they aren't comfortable with or things that might endanger them.

 

That said, sex can be for a lot of reasons, and not all of them are necessarily about love. Even if they are about love, that doesn't mean it's the permanent, I'm-going-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you sorta love.

 

I've had some incredible experiences, and I've been with some pretty amazing guys. I'd definitely like to do those things and experience that stuff with my "ultimate love", but I'm certainly not sorry I experienced it in the first place. Why regret happy, special times? I've had some amazing meals with people. I've been on some amazing trips. I've had some amazing conversations. I've loved and been loved. And yes, I've also screwed. I want to do all those things again with "that special someone", but I'm certainly not sorry I've have those great times already.

 

If I do meet Mr. Right, then I intend to be completely sexually monogamous with him, but that doesn't mean I'll regret my past at all. There are different times in life, and what is appropriate at one time is not at another.

 

I'm also glad I've sown my wild oats. I'm a very sexual person. I have no doubt that I can be completely monogamous, and I'm sure I could have even if I had been a virgin when "he" came along, but I'm still glad that I got to do those other things before I became tied down. Now I won't be curious about them.

 

That said, the reason I feel good about my varied sexual history is because while I've definitely been experimental, and been with a wide array of people, I've always made sure to stay safe and to not engage in activities I wouldn't still feel good about later.

 

I've experienced a great deal of sexual pleasure and I've given a great deal of sexual pleasure. No way would I even consider taking that back if I could

 

 

 

Still, I want to emphasize that it's important not to do anything that you are not comfortable with, that you won't feel good about physically and emotionally, and that you are not ready to do. I have no doubt that there are a lot of people who are not cut off for "casual" sexual experiences, and I would strongly advise such people to avoid them. The people who are cut out for such experiences I would strongly advise to stay safe and respect themselves and their partner(s).

 

If my "special someone" can't understand and accept my past and still trust me and love me regardless, then I don't think he's the right person for me anyway.

 

 

Just my thoughts though, and I definitely believe in the philosophy "different strokes for different folks" when it comes to this topic.

 

Take care all and have a great day

-Kevin

[Sir Galahad]

i

[corvus]

Abstinence is my last name, and True Love are my middle initials.

[AFriendlyFace]

Abstinence is my last name, and True Love are my middle initials.

It must get very tiresome when you have to sign legal documents.

 

 

 

-Kevin

[JamesSavik]

If we were only meant for one, why are there hundreds of flavors of ice cream?

 

Look- get over this hetero-sexist bunk. Abstenance only works with retarded religious fanatic rednecks- oh wait. It doesn't work for them either.

[Krista]

If we were only meant for one, why are there hundreds of flavors of ice cream?

 

Look- get over this hetero-sexist bunk. Abstenance only works with retarded religious fanatic rednecks- oh wait. It doesn't work for them either.

 

 

Lol.

[writeincode]

If we were only meant for one, why are there hundreds of flavors of ice cream?

 

Look- get over this hetero-sexist bunk. Abstenance only works with retarded religious fanatic rednecks- oh wait. It doesn't work for them either.

Agreed. And the consummation of their weddings must be a huge let down- I mean virgin males are notoriously fast.

[KJames]

If we were only meant for one, why are there hundreds of flavors of ice cream?

 

Look- get over this hetero-sexist bunk. Abstenance only works with retarded religious fanatic rednecks- oh wait. It doesn't work for them either.

 

 

Hence, why everybody from the South calls everybody else, "Cousin"....and why everybody else IS each others cousin...

[W_L]

I can say I am half a virgin, never been penetrated, always the penetrator! :o

 

I want to be with some one I mutually love for that act to occur. Otherwise, it's nothing more than plain sex with a boyfriend of the moment.

[old bob]

If we were only meant for one, why are there hundreds of flavors of ice cream?

Look- get over this hetero-sexist bunk. Abstenance only works with retarded religious fanatic rednecks- oh wait. It doesn't work for them either.

well said .

I have nothing more to say. It resumes 60 years of my own experiences. I enjoyed a lot of flavors .

[SRevol]

Abstinence is my last name, and True Love are my middle initials.

 

yay!! i think the same haha

 

It must get very tiresome when you have to sign legal documents.

 

 

 

-Kevin

 

hahahaha evil, hahahaha

 

If we were only meant for one, why are there hundreds of flavors of ice cream?

 

Look- get over this hetero-sexist bunk. Abstenance only works with retarded religious fanatic rednecks- oh wait. It doesn't work for them either.

 

 

is not taking hetero role models, is all about being ready

[Krista]

Hence, why everybody from the South calls everybody else, "Cousin"....and why everybody else IS each others cousin...

 

 

HEY!

[AFriendlyFace]

HEY!

 

I'm inclined to agree with Krista on this one. Incestuous relationships have not been my experience of the South. I've also rarely, if ever, heard someone use the term "cousin" to reference or address another person who wasn't in fact a relative of some sort.

 

I think that's just a cultural stereotype which is out-dated nowadays and was probably exaggerated even in its heyday. It reminds me of the time I got annoyed by other people's assumptions that because I grew up in Louisiana I had swamps and alligators literally in my backyard. The next time someone expressed this cultural stereotype I went with it and assured them that, "Yes, in Louisiana I-10 is actually just a very long bayou and everyone rides pirogues down it as the preferred mode of transportation." The annoying thing is that the person responded, "Really?" only half incredulously

Edited March 29, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[W_L]

I'm inclined to agree with Krista on this one. Incestuous relationships have not been my experience of the South. I've also rarely, if ever, heard someone use the term "cousin" to reference or address another person who wasn't in fact a relative of some sort.

 

I think that's just a cultural stereotype which is out-dated nowadays and was probably exaggerated even in its heyday. It reminds me of the time I got annoyed by other people's assumptions that because I grew up in Louisiana I had swamps and alligators literally in my backyard. The next time someone expressed this cultural stereotype I went with it and assured them that, "Yes, in Louisiana I-10 is actually just a very long bayou and everyone rides pirogues down it as the preferred mode of transportation." The annoying thing is that the person responded, "Really?" only half incredulously

 

Can I call you Bubba then? Always wanted to do that with a Southerner ever since I read the Foley-Mashburn Saga.

 

There are certain things in the south that I really do like: Comfort foods and the nice people. I know how very set in their ways southerners are perceived, but you are darn good folk no matta' wat. hehe!

[JamesSavik]

I've also rarely, if ever, heard someone use the term "cousin" to reference or address another person who wasn't in fact a relative of some sort.

 

In Elizabethan times cousin was a polite euphemism used by ladies for their younger lovers.

[Mark Arbour]

In Elizabethan times cousin was a polite euphemism used by ladies for their younger lovers.

 

In the 17th Century, the King used it when addressing certain members of the royal family and nobility, making it a coveted form of address.

[LongGone]

i

[James_Freestone]

I'm still a virgin, but I'm not opposed to people having sex. The right opportunity has never presented itself to me, but I know if I had and regretted it... I would just feel dumb. There is no reason to regret something you have done...Just live with it and move on. Otherwise you'll be regretting and hating it for a long time.