Elijah

[thatboyChase]

Chapter 5 has arrived.

[MikeL]

Chapter five is a pivotal one in the story of Elijah. We are witness to an evil, horrible deed, but are left unsure as to the motive and the perpetrator.

 

It seems likely that Jeremy's relationship to the royal family (and possibly to his own family) is about to change dramatically. He is witness to more than a crime as his own dreams and imagination come to the fore.

 

Be sure to read carefully and provide thoughtful comments here. Let the author know what you like or dislike about Elijah.

[Benji]

Chapter five is a pivotal one in the story of Elijah. We are witness to an evil, horrible deed, but are left unsure as to the motive and the perpetrator.

 

It seems likely that Jeremy's relationship to the royal family (and possibly to his own family) is about to change dramatically. He is witness to more than a crime as his own dreams and imagination come to the fore.

 

Be sure to read carefully and provide thoughtful comments here. Let the author know what you like or dislike about Elijah.

 

.............Indeed!! This chapter is the pivotal turning point in the whole story.

 

Jeremy's stay has been orchestrated by more than just fate. Braden almost panics at the thought of him leaving, Caleb seems to know about his arrival as does Lidia. David is the only one surprised at Jeremy's presence. Puzzling is the Queen considers him to be family, the King breaks bread with him and heeds his consul.

 

I do not like Caleb, he is conniving, cunning, rich and powerful making him dangerous.

I believe it was Caleb that Jeremy overheard plotting below the balcony

He regards Jeremy as prey, taunting him twice with his swords and then his callousness in Veslyn's execution. So why did he present Jeremy with a dagger?

 

I like David because he is so unlike his brother, maybe as warned by Caleb's detractor Veslyn, she may have known too much. David is suspicious of the treaty, yet appears to be concerned enough in consulting with Victor Jericho, another character I dislike and distrust. I believe Victor is just keeping David distracted, why does Caleb stop the fight between Rodef and David?

 

 

Rodef a key player, seems to be honest in his horrified reaction at the assassination.

 

Braden is an enigma playing good buddy to Jeremy, he seems to first have Jeremy's interest at heart, but seems to be involved somehow in the plot. He tells Jeremy of the betrayal, has a car conveniently waiting for him to leave the city and gives Jeremy a dagger. Jeremy is the pawn being played in this story, the fall guy, so power can be shifted and war averted.

 

Edited August 18, 2009 by Benji

[thatboyChase]

Benji! Haha, that is awesome, keep up the theories, very good very good.

[Objectivist]

Great Job Chase, best chapter so far.

 

 

James

[KJames]

.............Indeed!! This chapter is the pivotal turning point in the whole story.

 

Jeremy's stay has been orchestrated by more than just fate. Braden almost panics at the thought of him leaving, Caleb seems to know about his arrival as does Lidia. David is the only one surprised at Jeremy's presence. Puzzling is the Queen considers him to be family, the King breaks bread with him and heeds his consul.

 

I do not like Caleb, he is conniving, cunning, rich and powerful making him dangerous.

I believe it was Caleb that Jeremy overheard plotting below the balcony

He regards Jeremy as prey, taunting him twice with his swords and then his callousness in Veslyn's execution. So why did he present Jeremy with a dagger?

 

I like David because he is so unlike his brother, maybe as warned by Caleb's detractor Veslyn, she may have known too much. David is suspicious of the treaty, yet appears to be concerned enough in consulting with Victor Jericho, another character I dislike and distrust. I believe Victor is just keeping David distracted, why does Caleb stop the fight between Rodef and David?

 

 

Rodef a key player, seems to be honest in his horrified reaction at the assassination.

 

Braden is an enigma playing good buddy to Jeremy, he seems to first have Jeremy's interest at heart, but seems to be involved somehow in the plot. He tells Jeremy of the betrayal, has a car conveniently waiting for him to leave the city and gives Jeremy a dagger. Jeremy is the pawn being played in this story, the fall guy, so power can be shifted and war averted.

 

 

Benji, I was going to mention the items in your spoilers, re: Braden's short mention, and Caleb and David fighting each other during the assassination scene...but you beat me to it. Queen to Bishop's Level 3.

[David McLeod]

Another amazing, intense chapter. The chapter arc is excellent; the story arc is forming nicely. The characters' arcs are still muddled, I suspect deliberately, to keep us guessing.

 

Caleb is still a loose cannon. I don't know if he is psychotic (as it sometimes seems) or if it's simply that he's young. For the moment, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Braden's relationship with Jeremy--loving, sensual on one hand, cold and calculating on the other--is also a puzzle. The dagger...it passes from hand to hand, and surely has some importance.

 

 

All though the dance, we knew what was going to happen, yet we were surprised when it did. It was interesting to see Lidia with a rifle, but not a surprise that she was shouting orders. She's going to become much more important, I think. Who was the dancer supposed to be? How did Braden know it was the wrong one? He must have known who the "right" one was. And what was the right one supposed to do?

 

[TalonRider]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say, maybe the intended target was David and the substitution was made to get the King instead.

[Conner]

All the above is horse poop.

 

The Venz really do want peace.

 

David is the plotter here. He set up his father's assassination. Guess who's king now? That corporate dude and his wench (who Caleb killed) are also part of the plot. I believe David may also be in cahoots with Braden's father, the king's brother.

 

Caleb is a sweetheart. Yes, he's got that bad ass attitude goin' on. I love it.

 

I believe jeremy is the love child of Titian through some extramarital affair. The Queen has accepted it though because she has welcomed Jeremy as family. David is killed, perhaps by Caleb, but Caleb also dies from his wounds. Long live King Jeremy! :king: There's a big bar-b-que and pool party. Jeremy and Braden live happily ever after.

 

Everything else is just details.

[KJames]

All the above is horse poop.

 

The Venz really do want peace.

 

David is the plotter here. He set up his father's assassination. Guess who's king now? That corporate dude and his wench (who Caleb killed) are also part of the plot. I believe David may also be in cahoots with Braden's father, the king's brother.

 

Caleb is a sweetheart. Yes, he's got that bad ass attitude goin' on. I love it.

 

I believe jeremy is the love child of Titian through some extramarital affair. The Queen has accepted it though because she has welcomed Jeremy as family. David is killed, perhaps by Caleb, but Caleb also dies from his wounds. Long live King Jeremy! There's a big bar-b-que and pool party. Jeremy and Braden live happily ever after.

 

Everything else is just details.

 

Oh why, oh why do I feel that Conner's opionion here is more than just insightful?

[Benji]

Oh why, oh why do I feel that Conner's opionion here is more than just insightful?

 

..................Because money talks and bullshit walks!! Now that CJ's 'Changing Lanes' is coming to an end. Conner is seeking employment elsewhere, the ever resourceful mercenary that he is!!

 

But that is all !!!! Jeremy rules unwillingly and unaware!

Edited August 19, 2009 by Benji

[Conner]

..................Because money talks and bullshit walks!! Now that CJ's 'Changing Lanes' is coming to an end. Conner is seeking employment elsewhere, the ever resourceful mercenary that he is!!

 

Moi?

 

I'm just looking for a pool party!

 

Besides, I've never been right before!

[TalonRider]

I'll admit it, it never crossed my mind that David could be behind it.

 

I hope that next time that Jeremy dreams things like he did, he tells some one.

[David McLeod]

First, with all due respect to Conner and in great humbleness: "You've been drinking your own bath water. (And, it's affected your brain.)"

 

On the other hand, what a great plot! And, it would explain a lot of things. If Chase doesn't use it, perhaps I might. With proper credit, of course.

[Conner]

First, with all due respect to Conner and in great humbleness: "You've been drinking your own bath water. (And, it's affected your brain.)"

 

 

[Conner]

Seeing that I can claim that I'm still suffering the effects of my bathwater, I have another thought I'd like to throw out there.

 

I have this increasing sense that the character, Caleb, is to some degree autobiographical -meaning that our sweet Chase identifies strongly with this character. Caleb will not just be a hero, he'll be a tragic selfless hero. He will die young. He will die bravely. He will die honourably. It will be the ultimate in sweet sorrow.

 

You just can't beat stuff like that.

[KJames]

Seeing that I can claim that I'm still suffering the effects of my bathwater, I have another thought I'd like to throw out there.

 

I have this increasing sense that the character, Caleb, is to some degree autobiographical -meaning that our sweet Chase identifies strongly with this character. Caleb will not just be a hero, he'll be a tragic selfless hero. He will die young. He will die bravely. He will die honourably. It will be the ultimate in sweet sorrow.

 

You just can't beat stuff like that.

 

It's unusual to have the actual protagonist in the story be shown from the POV of someone else...the story is being done 3rd person and, occaisionally, 1st person from Jeremy's POV...

[David McLeod]

It's unusual to have the actual protagonist in the story be shown from the POV of someone else...the story is being done 3rd person and, occaisionally, 1st person from Jeremy's POV...

 

This certainly re-elevated the level of this discussion. I was just getting accustomed to bath water. On the other hand, if I wanted to confound a reader, I might do just that. (That is, tell the story from the point of view of other than the progagonist, as, if I remember correctly, Conrad did in "Heart of Darkness.")

[Hoskins]

I've reread the story two times now, it's that good. Chase, you've got a future, boy.

 

I wish I had time to really dig into the characters and motivations, maybe when I get the time.

 

Anyway this story is so deep in the details that I know there's a great backstory here, and I'm eager to see more of Chase's brain.

[thatboyChase]

Seeing that I can claim that I'm still suffering the effects of my bathwater, I have another thought I'd like to throw out there.

 

I have this increasing sense that the character, Caleb, is to some degree autobiographical -meaning that our sweet Chase identifies strongly with this character. Caleb will not just be a hero, he'll be a tragic selfless hero. He will die young. He will die bravely. He will die honourably. It will be the ultimate in sweet sorrow.

 

You just can't beat stuff like that.

 

No, Caleb is not an autobiographical me. Sorry. I don't really see myself at all in this story, to be honest. These are their own people with their own minds. I like how you're rooting for team Caleb too.

 

Anyway this story is so deep in the details that I know there's a greatbackstory here, and I'm eager to see more of Chase's brain.

 

It might turn into a prequel!

[thatboyChase]

Chapter 6 is here

[Benji]

Chapter 6 is here

 

................GD it!! Why did I pick this time to quit the f'king evil weed!! Comments later when I settle down

Edited August 21, 2009 by Benji

[thatboyChase]

................GD it!! Why did I play this time to quit the f'king evil weed!! Comments later when I settle down

 

That made zero sense, what?

[Conner]

That made zero sense, what?

 

I don't think Benji can respond right now. He's getting fitted for one of those white jackets. You know, the ones where you get to hug yourself.

 

That was a huge chapter, Chase. I'm going to have to read it at least one more time....well, when my head stops hurting that is. :wacko: The plot is becoming increasingly complex and, at least for me, the dialogue increasingly crytic. Just remember, Chase, it's just us "mere mortals" out here.

 

So what do we have here - David is part of the plot to carry on the war with Venz, but he's likely just a pawn, being manipulated by other "interests". Said "interests" are employing magic or getting assistance from those magical in their efforts. I'm totally clueless around the False King's involvement other than Venz is not high on his list of places to visit. Jeremy's dreams seem to suggest there is some sort of historical connection between him and the saving of Elijah...as opposed to the royal blood connection I had suggested earlier... which was total nonsense of course my purpose there was to introduce smut into the story... I find authors rarely take me up on it...btw, any chance there'll be a threesome with...

 

Actually, what we really have here is a whole lot of nothing. And, not only that, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

[thatboyChase]

I don't think Benji can respond right now. He's getting fitted for one of those white jackets. You know, the ones where you get to hug yourself.

 

That was a huge chapter, Chase. I'm going to have to read it at least one more time....well, when my head stops hurting that is. :wacko: The plot is becoming increasingly complex and, at least for me, the dialogue increasingly crytic. Just remember, Chase, it's just us "mere mortals" out here.

 

So what do we have here - David is part of the plot to carry on the war with Venz, but he's likely just a pawn, being manipulated by other "interests". Said "interests" are employing magic or getting assistance from those magical in their efforts. I'm totally clueless around the False King's involvement other than Venz is not high on his list of places to visit. Jeremy's dreams seem to suggest there is some sort of historical connection between him and the saving of Elijah...as opposed to the royal blood connection I had suggested earlier... which was total nonsense of course my purpose there was to introduce smut into the story... I find authors rarely take me up on it...btw, any chance there'll be a threesome with...

 

Actually, what we really have here is a whole lot of nothing. And, not only that, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

 

Conner you're the only person who confuses me the most on this site.

 

Actually, The False King is very pivotal for the storyline. Regardless if his scene was quite short, he does enough to confirm the unconfirmed. It also lets the reader know that my country of Elijah is not perfect, where there are kings, so tread tyrants. So maybe another read over might be good. But who knows, Lucas Extollere's power may exceed past the stone walls of Jarvaxia, maybe...maybe not.

 

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN