Site Administrator Cia Posted January 10, 2010 Site Administrator Posted January 10, 2010 I noticed that this story did not yet have a topic discussion in e-fiction! We need a place to talk about this, where John can maybe give us a few hints about the story to come (hint, hint). I really loved how the story began, Micha's seeming uncertainties, Susil's calm noble demeanor, and I just died when Melorna was introduced. Too funny! The characters are well developed, the descriptions are absolutely great, especially of Yoru's clothes. This is a great story and I hope there are many chapters to come!
John Doe Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Heh you guys know how to make a person blush. Haha. It's good to hear that my characters are doing what they are suppose to do. I did have a little fun writing Merlorna. I had a comment made about the difficulty in the names I have given the class representatives and I did write a reponse to that comment but I'll explain here as it seems right to do so. The representatives make up the student council for the Academy. They are an integral part of the functions and life at the academy. They are the law enforcers and also passes any news, new rules, etc from the instructors to the rest of the student body. Though this is all planning in my head, the roles of being a representative, the Student Council itself, will be important to the story as it 's going to influence how characters act towards each other and the decisions they make. The "complaint" (in quotes because I didn't see as such, just couldn't think of the right word) was that the <original> titles were confusing. I tired to use words and come up with a new way of saying it so that it doesn't seem so boring and to add a characteristic detail to my story. Here's my explanation of the titles... Novista... comes from the word novice. Beginner. Interiums... from intermediate. Middle. Eldalist... from Elder. Top. Older. I did have a different title for the different class representatives. I wanted a different title for each different class level. A distingusher as class rank is important in the Academy. But I can see why it is hard to grasp and as I was replying to the comment an idea came to me. Initially, I had the names be completely different and made up with no origins of word tracing. Meaning I kinda made them up. But the comment of confusion made me think and this is what I have changed the titles to. Explanation below... I used the suffix of the word senator to my representaives: sen. Before the attachment word was made up (which adds more confusion) but now I decided to use the first two letters of the class ranks, thus, Senno= representaive of the Novista class Senin = representative of the Interium class and Senel = representative of the Eldalist class. The concept is the same for the leaders of the representative groups. The suffix acro means high (upper) thus... Acrono = leader of the Novista representatives Acroin = leader of the Interium rep. class and Acroel = leader of the Eldalist rep. class Hopes that makes sense and I am excited to hear for you all. Thanks Cia for starting this for me!
ricky Posted January 11, 2010 Posted January 11, 2010 I'm hooked. But longer chapters, please. Want to build characters? Great, build 4 or five instead of two. You are going to have to flesh them all out at some point anyways. People read to escape their reality. 5 or 6 pages is just enough material to get into the character's persona and then forced to retreat from it. That is one reason some people will not read unfinished works. Make longer chapters and your readers will become even more staunchly ensconced in your story. I would rather be presented with a decent chapter every two weeks than a trickle of a few paragraphs every few days. It is a great fantasy! I want to wallow in it for a bit. 12 - 16 pages worth / 20-25,000 words worth. I confess that for me it is more of an issue. I use a screen reader and have to copy and process a story to be read correctly by my program. To do it for a 500 word chapter and looking at 29 chapters is frustrating as hell. I end up copying 5 or 6 chapters into a single word doc and then process it all at once to be read.
John Doe Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Heh, well Ricky... hopefully chapter 3 will meet your standards. It's my first attempt at writing fantasy. And I do agree with you. I am surprised at the amount of characters I have to introduce in my story as you guys will meet new characters in chapter 3 and I am certain more will have to be added. But please talk about it and love it and spread it. It gives me the motivation to continue writing. Thanks!
ricky Posted January 12, 2010 Posted January 12, 2010 Heh, well Ricky... hopefully chapter 3 will meet your standards. It's my first attempt at writing fantasy. And I do agree with you. I am surprised at the amount of characters I have to introduce in my story as you guys will meet new characters in chapter 3 and I am certain more will have to be added. But please talk about it and love it and spread it. It gives me the motivation to continue writing. Thanks! You can count on me for discussion. I love the possibilities. It is a unique story line and I like the contrary nature of the different characters so far. I will certainly be following this one and I look forward to a long wallow. Cheers, John
ricky Posted January 14, 2010 Posted January 14, 2010 An excellent Chapter. I have enough faith that it will be successful and epic that I have started keeping a history of characters, facts about them and pertinent story facts. I'll have to go back and re-read the first two chapters to fill in the facts about those presented in the first two chapters. But finally getting a chapter to wallow in. And wallow I did. And there has even been first blood! Sweet.
John Doe Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 An excellent Chapter. I have enough faith that it will be successful and epic that I have started keeping a history of characters, facts about them and pertinent story facts. I'll have to go back and re-read the first two chapters to fill in the facts about those presented in the first two chapters. But finally getting a chapter to wallow in. And wallow I did. And there has even been first blood! Sweet. Haha...well crap then I just can't add random crap in now and I have to keep my facts straight. Oddly enough I an experencing a toon take over story telling mode. Initially I wanted one of the relationships to be abusive but not becuase the characters have taken a life of their own I don't see that road likely. Though it's going to be more of a subtle relationship. Hmmm. I'm beginning to think this is gonna be more focused on the fantasy element than what I originally intended. Originally I want a gay fantasy story but now I am finding that the plot is much more interesting and thus focusing my efforts there. So I guess what I am trying to say is I do hope you all continue to read but this story is (hopefully) an epic tale of good versus evil, Academy style. With hints to a few gay characters. Haha.
John Doe Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Haha...well crap then I just can't add random crap in now and I have to keep my facts straight. Oddly enough I an experencing a toon take over story telling mode. Initially I wanted one of the relationships to be abusive but now becuase the characters have taken a life of their own I don't see that road likely. Though it's going to be more of a subtle relationship. Hmmm. I'm beginning to think this is gonna be more focused on the fantasy element than what I originally intended. Originally I want a gay fantasy story, where the gay characters' relationship would be focal, but now I am finding that the plot is much more interesting and thus focusing my efforts there. So I guess what I am trying to say is I do hope you all continue to read but this story is (hopefully) an epic tale of good versus evil, Academy style. With hints to a few gay characters. Haha.
John Doe Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Oops my mistake. I meant to edit and then somehow ended up quoting... my bad folks.
thatboyChase Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 I want to read it, can you drop a link? I can't find it for some reason.
John Doe Posted January 15, 2010 Posted January 15, 2010 Heya, here's the link to Chapter 1. Or click on my signature leading to my stories and then to the story.
John Doe Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 And we get the premise of the story, but where are the details? So any more thoughts? Comments? Questions? Let me know.
Mark M Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Well this is good!! there is a form....now i don't have to profile message you as much, exept to harras saying it's been to long for a story!! But now u really have me hooked....keep it up and i want more....more...More....MOre...MORe....MORE....MORE!...MORE! MORE!! MORE!!! MOREE!!!!! oh and one more thing..... MORE!!!!!!!!!! k thanks bye!
Site Administrator Cia Posted February 3, 2010 Author Site Administrator Posted February 3, 2010 Speaking to your earlier concerns, a good story doesn't necessarily need to have a strong gay vibe or romance to keep interest up, though I am sure everyone here enjoys them. Your story is quite well written, I love that we are finally getting an idea of what the overall plot is going to be. We've gotten to know more and more of the characters as you have written, but I have to say that I am sooo glad we finally got some info on Yoru. Not just what he does but why and his "self" as you might say. The info about Birgil being a sealer was quite a spin, it makes sense why he failed the first time out and adds a whole new element to his personality and the roommate relationship between him and Yoru. Great inventiveness on your part, one of your "subtle" relationships? Ryon creeps me out, I can't tell if he is going to be a bad guy who is a bit of a sadist as well or if he is a good guy who is just caught up in being a spoiled royal kid who gets pissy when he doesn't get what or who he wants. All in all, I sooo enjoyed this chapter, it was great! I can't wait to read more, write, write, write!!!
John Doe Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Ricky- Heh I will try my best. But I am also writing novel that I hoped I can get an agent for... to be published. And I got school work... loads of it. (Already). So yes I will update as fast as I can. Cia- Heh thanks for telling me you enjoyed the story and eluding to the "talent" that I have. I try and it's good to hear that my attempts are making grounds, even if it is small. Heh yeah I thought I shouldn't keep my readers too much in the dark. Yoru's road has just began. Ryon is creepy, I know, he's one of those guys . As for the good or bad guy, you'll find out later. Muahahahaha. -everyone- You guys should leave comments or thoughts. I'd love to hear them. Hopefully you guys are enjoying the story. The characters are coming along together. You still have more characters to meet and explanations to others as to why they are at the Academy and how they will affect the outcomes of the fate of the Academy. Happy readings!
ricky Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Ricky- But I am also writing novel that I hoped I can get an agent for... to be published. Ah! Yes, now we see the make of you. Money over loyalty! A novel with a hope and a promise and we are almost ** s u m m a r i l y ** disssssmissed! And a toon muse you say. Hmm starting to have a little anime flavor too it. Well I suppose it can turn out to be good anyways. (If you can spare "us" your loyal fans the time.) I suppose as long as they don't start playing dueling banjos or jumping backwards into a tree, we'll survive it.
John Doe Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 And a toon muse you say. Hmm starting to have a little anime flavor too it. Well I suppose it can turn out to be good anyways. (If you can spare "us" your loyal fans the time.) Did I use the word toon? Ah if I did it was a mistake. It was not an anime reference. It was a reference to the online game City of Heroes/Villians. We call the characters we create a toon. I use to play it a lot but quit and the lingo stills sticks with me. Toon = character. Can mean the character of a person or the someone themself. Heh well if I only cared about the mulah I wouldn't even be on here right? I still care about my readers. The reality is the school work. I'm being swamped with homework. Loads and loads of projects and analytical readings. All due the next meeting day and getting assigned a new one. It's overwhelming but I guess that's what happens when you have two more semesters to go. I write Mages and Get There as a means to escape my reality, so I am sharing it with you guys. Thanks for reading them and caring about them as I do.
ricky Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Heh well if I only cared about the mulah I wouldn't even be on here right? I still care about my readers. The reality is the school work. I'm being swamped with homework. Loads and loads of projects and analytical readings. All due the next meeting day and getting assigned a new one. It's overwhelming but I guess that's what happens when you have two more semesters to go. It's those damned schools. They keep getting in the way of great partying! It's been said before but it's worth mentioning again. Work is the curse of the drinking class. Colleges and universities are for those too drunk to work! At least it was when I was there. Was I really there? I'm not sure anymore. They said that stuff wouldn't affect me later in life. Wait? Who turned out the lights!B)Oh I'm back. I'm much better now. Hey if you didn't care about the mulah then you wouldn't be human. Glad you are smart enough to know that working hard now means more play later. And more mulah to play with! Figure out what you want to be when you grow up or still just playing with it? Speaking of more to play with . . . uh, I digress. I was just bustin' your chops. You have your priorities right. Something this good is going to be around for a long time anyways. And to Quote Jen from the Dark Crystal, "Writing? Well, it's words that stay."
John Doe Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 It's those damned schools. They keep getting in the way of great partying! It's been said before but it's worth mentioning again. Work is the curse of the drinking class. Colleges and universities are for those too drunk to work! At least it was when I was there. Was I really there? I'm not sure anymore. They said that stuff wouldn't affect me later in life. Wait? Who turned out the lights!B)Oh I'm back. I'm much better now. Hey if you didn't care about the mulah then you wouldn't be human. Glad you are smart enough to know that working hard now means more play later. And more mulah to play with! Figure out what you want to be when you grow up or still just playing with it? Speaking of more to play with . . . uh, I digress. I was just bustin' your chops. You have your priorities right. Something this good is going to be around for a long time anyways. And to Quote Jen from the Dark Crystal, "Writing? Well, it's words that stay." Heh well thanks for your understanding. Plus where are the thoughts of my other readers!!!?!?!?!? Ricky and Cia couldn't be upping my read numbers alone... I'd be very sad.
Mark M Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Must i have to make a comment to get another chapter out of you??? if i do then prep for like 1000,000 comments which then u best have 1000,000 chapters :D Anyway i like Yuro(name?) All the names i find very complicated and i enjoy them.....how to enunciate each of them could be a challenge..... Anyway i like the Mystery!!! the sudden dissapearance of an old school....at least now we have an idea where this is going.....the question is what will they uncover..... I Bet this old school is just underneth the current one!!! exept there's lava and flame and magic and.... >=) this could be fun!!! comon though WRITE faster. I love this story. U've got me captured...
John Doe Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 Yoru... The names sound like they look for the most part. It's a challenge to completely make them up. As I don't really base them on anything. Some of them I do like Adar Dyriad. It all ties together with what his magical abilities are, and I bet some of you can guess what it relates to. Lava and flames?.... heh not so much but I hope it'll be just as interesting. Thanks for reading Mark. I'll write as fast as I can inbetween school work.
Mark M Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Well Sadly this inbetween school and work is just not enough and the next chapter has not been posted in foreVER! like COMON! i have to harass everyone today!
ricky Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 School is over rated anyways. Some of the dumbest people I know went to school. It didn't help them. They're still stupid. So just skip it and write chapters. :great:That's all you need to do.:king: You don't need anything but a computer with a wireless connection outside a library with free internet access. Oh and a taste for food stamps. I could never get them to stick anyplace so I don't know WHY they call them stamps. And they are an acquired taste. They still taste like paper, even with catchup so I'm not sure why they call them food stamps. However they stick to stuff pretty good with catchup.
John Doe Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Well Sadly this inbetween school and work is just not enough and the next chapter has not been posted in foreVER! like COMON! i have to harass everyone today! Working on the next chpater hopefully I can get it out by this coming Friday. Sorry! School is over rated anyways. Some of the dumbest people I know went to school. It didn't help them. They're still stupid. So just skip it and write chapters. :great:That's all you need to do.:king: You don't need anything but a computer with a wireless connection outside a library with free internet access. Oh and a taste for food stamps. I could never get them to stick anyplace so I don't know WHY they call them stamps. And they are an acquired taste. They still taste like paper, even with catchup so I'm not sure why they call them food stamps. However they stick to stuff pretty good with catchup. Food Stamps... my room mate was telling me that I actually qualify for that... so don't even tempt me. Though I'm not that desperate yet. I don't want to abuse the lovely government system that we have here. Ha. But thanks for showing that you guys care. Much love appreciated.
ricky Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Working on the next chpater hopefully I can get it out by this coming Friday. Sorry! Food Stamps... my room mate was telling me that I actually qualify for that... so don't even tempt me. Though I'm not that desperate yet. I don't want to abuse the lovely government system that we have here. Ha. But thanks for showing that you guys care. Much love appreciated. Don't bother. They taste terrible. Completely inedible.
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