[Tiger] The Sorcerous Prince by Tiger

[Tiger]

Keegan and his friends definitely got what they deserved, though the only one I hate is Melody. She's my Pansy Parkinson. I'd spit on her if I met her. As for Pavel, he is a real spoiled one. His brother is a lot older, but he was at the palace for quite a while, so Pavel picked up some bad habits from him. It's a damn shame too. I think he's got the makings of a fantastic wizard nonetheless. He's more of the psychic while Mihai is more a master of elements.

[TalonRider]

It was good to see Mihai get a measure of revenge. Its been a long time coming.

 

Pavel is a bit of a problem, but I get the feeling that will be taken care of as he maybe gets the type attention that he really needs, and a better role model.

[Tiger]

Yes and no. Mihai is a good person over all, but he is flawed. I think ascending has gone to his head to a certain extent. He also, as I've said before, seeks revenge. That can be a good thing as far as standing up to dark witches and wizards, but it can also create conflict. So Pavel has to learn to be more respectful, which is actually one of Mihai's strong points. At the same time, Pavel will need to be a voice of reason when it comes to Mihai's bad temper.

 

FYI, Chapter 7 should come out some time tomorrow.

[Tiger]

Chapter 8: Birthday Surprises is posted.

[Mark M]

ok just to let everyknow KNOW i will read the stories! just can't do it yet! school is taking over my life!!! i'll try and get to them this weekend!

[Tiger]

It happens, Mark. School is important!

[Mark M]

I do delcair a cliffhanger!

 

 

[Tiger]

Evil cliffhanger? Now now... C James does not do evil cliffhangers, and neither do I. I mean, the ending was, perhaps, a little tense, but does anyone actually think that Mihai won't make it? He is the main character after all. There'd be no story left if he died, would there?

[Mark M]

What if.........It's not micha who is the one. but the father of the two. and since fabian is a familer maybe he has a magical power that keeps sperm alive that is within him of micha's and secretly puts it in a woman?!?!?! then his two kids go off and save the world. like pfft....WHO KNOWS.

 

I just want another chapter ok

[Tiger]

Another chapter? How about Chapter 11? It's up now.

[Tiger]

Chapter 16 is posted.

[Cia]

I have been very remiss in not commenting lately! I loved chapter 16, I think you really showed Mihai's developing morality and dedication to making the right choices. Of course he is still a young horny guy I can't wait until you reveal the Yule Ball chapter, it's one of my favorite and your readers will love it! Great work as always Tiger!!

[TalonRider]

It seem with each new chapter, we learn something new.

[Tiger]

That's the general idea, Jan. I made a slight change to 16. Those who have ready will know that I mentioned...

 

 

magical martial arts for the first time!

 

[Tiger]

Chapter 21 is posted.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Just wanted to say that I am enjoying this very much - am up to chapter 12 so I have deliberately NOT read many of the posts on here so I won't come across stuff I still need to read.

 

I am impressed by the level of imagination in not only the worlds but the powers and how they work. That and the sheer number of characters you introduce and give distinct personalities is really well done.

 

Andy

[Tiger]

Thank you, Andy! It's a really fun story to write, lots of twists and turns. I do try to make my characters interesting and dynamic as possible, because they're much more fun to write.

[Simonjames30]

I have just finished reading up to chapter 22 and I am loving it so far

 

When will the next chapter be up?

[Tiger]

Wow! A virgin post! I feel honored! I'm glad you like it. Hopefully I'll be getting back to the story soon. Right now I'm actually reading in hopes of finding some good inspiration.

Edited November 16, 2010 by Tiger

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Since there is no Chapter 25 topic, I will post my response to you reply to my review here.

 

 

It's not that the story has sex, but lately it's that the sex is just tossed in and that just makes it seem unimportant and therefore kinda just smut. Case in point was the orgy - I say this not for the reason you think. So you talk about Fabian almost dying from the breaking of the bonds, even with the orgy. Okay so that is important and that would be something that would move your plot along. Then you talk about him wanting to bang his English teacher - not something that moves the plot. Had you left out the desire to f**k his teacher, the orgy reference would have been less ho hum. Which leads to the next point - if it is important - and this was kinda - then write about it, don't just put it off in passing.

 

Next - in the same vein as the 'I wanna do the teacher' there were a bunch of times where you talk about him getting up and getting a blow job, or going to bed and banging Fabian. Well he also brushed his teeth, took a piss and whatever. If it is just going to be dealt with in passing - leave it out or else it comes across as trashy. If it doesn't move the plot and those examples did not - chop it - unless what you want is to make sex a serious subplot. But by trivializing it with passing references and doing it often, it makes it boring, like brushing your teeth.

 

Last, this is an example of why you should "Show, not Tell." By telling us - We had an orgy - it's like saying the sky was blue, the room was cold, the food was hot. Readers tend to glaze over when there is too much tell and not enough show. It's not the use of sex I think detracts from the story, it's that it is just put in with no purpose of moving the plot along and you just tell us, oh yeah we had sex. Okay fine, so what, so did I this morning.

 

That is what I meant by my review. Either make it important and show us don't tell us, or leave it out so when you do show us, we perk up more.

 

 

Andy

[Tiger]

I can see why you would think that. I was trying not to focus as much on the sex, because it occurred in between two chapters. And also, my thinking was that it was better to put more focus into the dragon scene rather than the sex scene. As far as the teacher, it's actually something meaningful. He's the one who made his life at school a little easier. Sex with the teacher wouldn't be meaningless. It's actually quite the opposite. Back in Chapter 2, I tried to make it look like Mihai had a bit of a crush on Adam Perkis as well as a deep admiration and a strong appreciation for him. Perhaps I didn't get my point across.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

I can see why you would think that. I was trying not to focus as much on the sex, because it occurred in between two chapters. And also, my thinking was that it was better to put more focus into the dragon scene rather than the sex scene. As far as the teacher, it's actually something meaningful. He's the one who made his life at school a little easier. Sex with the teacher wouldn't be meaningless. It's actually quite the opposite. Back in Chapter 2, I tried to make it look like Mihai had a bit of a crush on Adam Perkis as well as a deep admiration and a strong appreciation for him. Perhaps I didn't get my point across.

 

Tim,

 

That is what I get for writing that at 6 am on the morning I have a big trial. In re-reading my remarks, I am surprised you didn't flame me up one side and down the other. Sorry - that was really harsh - I can delete it if you like.

 

Had I more tact at the time what I was trying to convey is, there is nothing wrong with sex scenes, but make em count. Make em memorable, make em interesting. This chapter was the wrong one to bring it up, but it has been on my mind for a bit. Because as it turns out the orgy was actually quite important on several levels - god do I feel like a lascivious, dirty old man by keep referring to that it was important in that it showed a facet of the familiars make up, it shows the connection with Baron and his lover, AND it is a vehicle for Mikal to get back at his father for what the kind did to Mikal. Going into all the details might have been a lot of writing and bogged you down.

 

So, the more I tried to justify my position, the less I feel it is valid. In trying to say, but this wasn't helpful, I could see reasons why it was. That is a long ass way of saying, never mind, I am wrong. Sorry.

 

Andy

[JCtoGO2]

Will we every seen any more chapters?