Closer to Myself by Forty-Two

[Forty-Two]

Just posting reviews:

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 15

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

And BANG

 

 

 

DRAMA

 

 

 

SUSPENSE TENSION (that sickness in my gut when I KNOW

something bad's about to happen.)

 

 

 

It just SUCKS for poor, poor Zane.

 

 

 

Knew not to trust that Chase boy! Rrrrrr.

 

 

 

Well, while it's pretty ah, sucky, what happens here, I

understand that at 17 it's easy to make stupid mistakes and do things you

regret and hurt people you really don't want to hurt.

 

 

 

Well, huh. Let's see how this pans out, but I can't imagine

it's good.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Bad but sexy so it's kinda worth it Yes, Zane gets

totally screwed in this. Sucks to be the guy who has it all figured out and is

so nice about everything that he just gets used and walked all over. Brandt

doesn't deserve him.

 

 

 

Of course we shouldn't trust Chase At least he didn't

decide to go after Zane when he left (whoops, little spoiler there).

 

 

 

Yes, this story is about harsh truths and they are that

no-one is perfect. Lots of people get tempted and lots give in, especially

teenagers. This story just wouldn't have had the same reality if Brandt was all

perfect and honourable.

 

Date: 11/10/2010 02:55 PM

 

Title: Chapter 18

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Well, well, well. Things with the mom and dad make sense.

Good to have that wrapped up.

 

 

 

A couple of things. The ending here felt a little rushed. I

would have liked to have seen another scene with Zane and Brandt showing how

obviously uncomfortable things were between them in front of the family,

showing how hurt they were in their own diff. ways.

 

 

 

Also, IF this were a romance this would have to go on

another 5-10 chapters where B redeems himself and such. But I accept this is

more a piece of reality than a Happy Ending story. All I'm saying is that this

has the potential to be made into one.

 

 

 

But, in all honesty, at 17 you don't often end up with the

love of your life, or your first.

 

 

 

It would, however, be really interesting to have a story

either B. or Zane set when they are older and find the right thing for them.

Haha, I'm I romantic slut--do anything to get a couple toghether and happily in

love.

 

 

 

Maybe make a short story of it? --see, I really don't give

up!

 

 

 

Okay, ignore the pleading. This was a great fun read. I hope

loads more read it! And you get more reviews, 'cause I swear it deserves more.

 

 

 

Thank you for writing and sharing your talent.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Yeah, Mom and Dad are one of the only things that really

gets closure, huh?

 

 

 

Hmm... what would showing more of Zane and Brandt's

awkwardness have really accomplished? We know they're upset with each other,

and detailing how they ignore each other or how Brandt tries to appologise and

Zane ignores him isn't really giving any new information. Yeah, I think people

do expect things to wrap up more. But you're right, it's not a typical romance

and I purposely didn't want to tie up all the loose ends in a happy story. The

ending is is the car coming home, paralleling the start in the car arriving at

the cottage. Brandt is frustrated and doesn't know how things will turn out.

But even though he hasn't gotten what he wanted, he finally knows what that is,

and that was the whole point of the self-discovery journey. Whether he and Zane

get back together or not is irrelevant from that perspective. And yes, it is

very fictional to say they would be each other's first and only loves.

 

 

 

Heh, you romantic slut, that's why the epilogue is open

ended. I think Brandt doesn't deserve Zane because he's too immature and too

unsure of what he wants and how he wants it to give Zane what he needs as a

teen. You can't respect Zane until he sees that and has the guts to say no to

Brandt. It's not until Brandt is in his thirties that he and Zane are finally

on the same page.

 

 

 

Thanks so much for reviewing every chapter! This really

picked up my spirits! (And boy did they need it!) Thanks for being my review

fairy and I hope others follow in your awesome example!

 

Date: 11/10/2010 02:54 PM

 

Title: Chapter 17

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

what a mix of feelings in this chapter. I really feel for

the both of them.

 

 

 

Ahhh, good. Good.

 

 

 

Thanks for the read.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

I find the best arguments to write are the ones where you

find yourself agreeing with both people in the fight. Hopefully this was one of

them. Poor messed up boys. Glad you're feeling it and still liking it.

 

Date: 11/10/2010 02:51 PM

 

Title: Chapter 16

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

I seem to have not left a review for this and the following

chapter. Must have got carried away, lol.

 

 

 

Basically, good brother bonding time.

 

 

 

Yeah, I'll leave this one at that. hehe.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Some of Shea's lines are really great. I think I said this

somewhere else, but it's worth repeating that Shea is built around the reverse

of the stereotypical good brother/best friend character who is so great and

supportive and then turns into a total dickwad when Main Guy comes out. Shea is

a dick brother most of the time but he is caring and loyal when it really

counts. He's Brandt's rock in that way and that's why I say the story is more

about Brandt and Shea than Brandt and Zane. Glad you liked it so much you

forgot to review the first time around!

 

Date: 11/10/2010 02:45 PM

 

Title: Epilogue

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Well, I guess I jumped the gun a bit with my last review. I

wrote it imagining it was the last chapter, as you said you felt the story

really ended there.

 

 

 

Overall this is AWESOMENESS ABOUNDS! Highly recommend to

read. And yes, my opinion is the story ends after 18, too.

 

 

 

Anyway, um, yeah, lots happened in this epilogue. Well...it

was very sad, actually. And dramatic--it perhaps felt a little too dramatic an

ending for the preceeding story. I mean there was a certain expectation with

the way the earlier chapters were written as to the TONE of story.

 

The drama perhaps puts this off kilter a little.

 

 

 

Still, you rock! Looking forward to more (I think I've

driven that point home enough, huh!) hehe

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

I'm really glad that I got your honest opinion before you

knew what was in the epilogue. It's great knowing how readers feel as they go

along, not just what they think when they've had time to process it all at the

end. Thank you so much for your overall feelings! Glad I could bring some good

entertainment into your life!

 

 

 

I have a problem with ending a story then not letting it end

in my head and writing a too long too intense epilogue summing up the

character's whole life. I once wrote an epilogue 20 or 30 some-odd pages long

for a 200 page story. Rediculous I tell you! That's why I say that the story

truely ends after the last chapter and the epilogue is just me indulging myself

because it's online ficiton and I can Yes the tone is too serious. But,

summing up the most important part of fifteen years or so gets heavy. And

again, indulging myself, so anything goes

 

 

 

Well, onto read your other reviews. Sorry there's only short

stories left! Hopefully they hold up to the pedistal you've placed me on!

 

 

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you! *hugs*

 

Date: 11/10/2010 02:32 PM

 

Title: Chapter 14

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

I'm flying through this. And I notice that my replies get

shorter and shorter with my impatience to read on.

 

 

 

I like this 'other side' shown here of Brandt and Shea.

 

The parent stuff seems to have died down a bit, with Zane

and B taking the spotlight--and hey, I'm NOT complaining . But that storyline

I also find interesting.

 

 

 

I get a giddy feeling reading your stuff, because I see SO

much potential. Already I find reading your stuff easy, and everything is

pretty polished.

 

 

 

I can't wait to read newer works too, like I can tell that

you've grown more with Corrupted, and, well, I just can't wait for more. Please

tell me you're working on something already?

 

 

 

Did you decide to do NaNo in the end? If not, WHY the help

not?

 

 

 

Sweet, gotta read more now...

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

So glad you couldn't stop reading. Although I didn't get a

chance to respond to many of your reviews before you finished the whole thing!

 

 

 

Despite all the sex stuff with Zane, Brandt and Shea's

relationship really is the most important one in my mind. Being brothers has a

perminance and level of importance that isn't quite the same with first-time

dating, not that that isn't special as well. Yeah, only so much family stuff

can happen at once. The parents will come back into it though.

 

 

 

Giddy? Potential? Do go on. Grown? How so? I will have to PM

you about that. Glad it seems polished as I had no beta reader. Sadly

everything I am working on is in my head and nothing is on the page. And no,

not doing NaNo, 'cause I'm a big tool.

 

 

 

 

 

Date: 11/10/2010 01:50 PM

 

Title: Chapter 13

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Hotness!

 

 

 

Yeah, real hot.

 

 

 

You've worked this build up really well, so that, ah, this

chapter really gets ya buzzing.

 

 

 

Good stuff.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Hee, I just glanced back and realized that chapter is a

whole lotta nothin' but sex. I can see why this review is shorter than others

Glad I got you buzzing Hope I can do it again some time

 

Date: 11/10/2010 01:37 PM

 

Title: Chapter 12

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

He's a flirt that Brandt,

 

 

 

So, I'm getting nervous about this Chase thing. I have a

feeling someone's going to get jealous--or the wrong idea pretty soon.

 

 

 

Need to keep reading to find out...

 

Good chappy.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Yeah, it's nice to see Brandt come out of his shell a bit

and be a flirt! How quickly one can change with a little confidence,

self-acceptance, and oh yeah, drugs!

 

 

 

Well you should be nervous. Chase is slimey remember?

 

Date: 11/10/2010 01:25 PM

 

Title: Chapter 11 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Mom! Terrible timing! LOL

 

 

 

Good stuff. I want to say something to boost your ego here.

But can't think of anything cool enough. hehe, you're awesome, your writing

kicks butt!

 

 

 

I'm so going to read everything of yours! So, don't get

sick of me, lol.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Yeah, good thing Sierra was there as a buffer! Thanks for

even more wonderful compliments!

 

 

 

Glad I've hooked you as a fan! I will never get sick of you!

I'm only sorry I don't have more longer stories to share!

 

Date: 11/10/2010 01:12 PM

 

Title: Chapter 10

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Ahhh, I liked the whole thing. It's good they're talking.

 

 

 

I think I can learn so much from you as a writer. I like

your style, the way you weave description and action together and how well you

manipulate the tension and conflict. And all the while there's this emotional

flare to it all.

 

 

 

It's just so good.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Oh good. I was actually a little worried that there was too

much talk right after all the talk with Sierra.

 

 

 

Wow, you made me smile and get all warm and tingly inside! I

think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my writing! Thank you so

much! In big conversation scenes like this I tend to write all the dialogue

first and then go back and fill it in with the emotional responses and physical

movements. I can't seem to focus on the stuff inside and outside of the quotes

at the same time, lol! Oh well, seems to be working okay!

 

 

 

Thanks again for all your awesome reviews! I have to go to

sleep but I will respond to the rest soon! It is indeed you who rocks!

 

Date: 11/10/2010 01:03 PM

 

Title: Chapter 9

Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Hmmm... Ah, what the heck..

 

 

 

“I’ve been on kind of a gay porn kick lately. I read one

slash story and then found out how addictive that kind of stuff can get. The

side effect is that it makes you start to see things everywhere that aren’t

really there and read into the most innocent behaviours. But it’s a great way

to procrastinate, especially at exam time. So much better than a lot of

straight porn.”

 

 

 

Interesting. This made me think about why I read/write gay

romance. Well, I do write both--I guess any kind of romance is good, I can't

seem to write a story without it, lol.

 

 

 

Actually, the first time I played with gay characters were

as side characters. Then I decided, eh, I really didn't know so much. So I

researched. And I liked! It is addictive, and yeah, sometimes better than the

straight stuff.

 

 

 

So, Sierra is not so far off there, IMO. I guess I liked the

honesty of this. And relatability.

 

 

 

Good chapter. I like Sierra, too.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Yeah, Sierra is a very layered character. Like I said, I

like to build all the characters, not just the main ones. I perhaps went overboard

with her honesty and detail a wee bit (okay, a big bit) since she doesn't get a

lot of page time and I had so much to say about her. Glad she was relatable.

She's in a gay male love story so I figured she should represent the majority

of women who read gay male love stories, lol. If Brandt couldn't get advice

from a gay guy, it seemed to be a good solution that a straight girl who loves

gay porn would know just as much (or more). There is apparently a whole bunch

of literature out there about why straight women prefer gay love stories and

why they've become so popular in the last few years. It's too much detail to go

into here, but we can PM about it later or whatnot. There are a few discussions

about it in the forums too.

 

 

 

Glad you like Sierra. She may be shallow on the outside but

at least she's kind on the inside

 

Date: 11/10/2010 12:39 PM

[Forty-Two]

Date: 11/10/2010 12:39 PM

 

Title: Chapter 8 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

That was a quickie , hehe, nah the different chapter lengths help keep things fresh and interesting.

 

 

 

A little telling in the beginning of the chapter, it pans out nicely into action. All good.

 

 

 

Yup, not much else to say this time. Going to read some more...

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Wow, it was short eh? I guess it makes up for some of the earlier chapters being kinda long. I think I had finally finished the last edits at like 3 in the morning and really wanted to post right away so I just kinda threw chapter breaks in wherever (I hardly ever make chapters as I'm writing, I always go back and break the story down later). Is there any rule about chapter lengths and whether consistancy in length is good, bad, or neutral? I think the opening and ending of the chapter is more important than the length. YOu want to draw your reader in right at the start and leave them wanting more. Hopefully my chapters do that most of the time (And since I posted it all at once everyone could keep reading and wouldn't feel cheated by a short chapter, lol)

 

Date: 11/10/2010 12:14 PM

 

Title: Chapter 7 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Math, dead puppies, and politics, eh? Two wouldn't work for me. I find smart sexy, lol!

 

 

 

Okay, love the level of conflict coming in here. I'd like to say Chase hasn't got a chance--because for some reason he annoys me. Too cocky, too I dunno, slimey? Something doesn't sit right, of course, that could just be because I like Zane and don't like the competition, haha.

 

 

 

Yeah, this was another sweet read. Nice.

 

 

 

One thing I noticed, which isn't wrong, but which I felt would have been stronger without is this line: "The drive-in double feature was awkward." Then it went into detailing the evening. First delving into set up with the parents lending the car and how they all piled in.

 

 

 

I think you SHOW the awkwardness perfectly, and don't need this line summarising what's about to come--at least not like this. What if this opening was something like: Shit, this was freaking awkward.

 

I glanced between Zane and Chase next to me, either side. The seating arrangements just had to work out this way....

 

 

 

Okay that wasn't the best, but I just wanted to illustrate another way of approaching that beginning. That way, (I feel at least--feel free to totally ignore me) it gets to the fun bits faster.

 

 

 

But that was very minor, because I thought this was great. :DDD

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Heh, smart can be sexy, but would someone doing quadratic equations while dressed like a senator as you were all hot and naked really keep the heat going? Unless they were writing the equations on your skin with chocolate sauce... Brandt's seventeen and an artsy kid, so I figured he'd find math and politics boring

 

 

 

Lol, I love that you don't like Chase. I love him because he's so cocky and slimey. In all honesty, Chase is kind of like a gay Shea... think what you will what that says about Brandt. And you know what I said about secondary characters getting big enough in your head to support their own story? Yep, there's totally a whole sequel/current-quel (parallel-quel?) in my head about Chase and what he did that summer. He certainly isn't redeemed, but you do come to understand him better.

 

 

 

I really like what you said about how to start the drive-in part. That defininely will read better re-written with your suggestions. Thanks million for the great ideas! And all the reviews! *bows to the floor in honour of your awesomeness*

 

Date: 11/10/2010 12:03 PM

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 6 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Ahhh, now that was just AWESOMENESS wasn't it!

 

 

 

Action was perfect in this chapter, and YAY,they kiss. *makes kissy sounds --woohoo!

 

 

 

Codeine says yes! LOL. That's so cute. Love it.

 

 

 

Okay, seriously, the flow was just right in this chapter. That first kiss came out of the blue, but totally in a good way.

 

 

 

Yay, looking forward to reading on...

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Heh, hopefully Brandt doesn't start to rely on drugs to get him through all the stressful events in his life Glad the kiss was unexpected. I figured it was getting pretty obvious how Zane felt and Brandt knows what he thinks/feels but just won't admit it so BAM, I gave him a kick in the butt to get on with it.

 

 

 

Looking forward to the rest of your reviews...

 

Date: 11/10/2010 09:12 AM

 

Title: Chapter 5 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Oh, what an ending there. Haha, Shea soooo deserved that, lol. Poor Brandt, man Shea's a bit of a dick.

 

 

 

Okay--since this is an earlier writing piece, you probably know now the problems with flashbacks. It really does draw the reader out of the flow of things. It makes it just a little too much work, when (I think) reading should be entertainment. Easy.

 

 

 

Of course, if you ever did decide to re-edit this, it's a pretty easy fix. Just write in a natural time-line, I think this chapter can handle it. (Note--of course there are times for flashbacks, just here I think it would flow better without).

 

 

 

You bring up some excellent issues: “Well, I guess it’s technically your money, so it’s your decision to buy the boys whatever they want and spoil them.” --this here is very interesting, and such a real problem.

 

 

 

Yeah, I like the way you show the issues the parents have in this story. It gives the story even more realism.

 

 

 

Loving the story, Forty-Two. I think it's you that rocks!

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Yes, I see what you say about flashbacks. The reason the chapter is structured like it is is because I wanted to start the chapter in the middle of the fight, just like how the first chapter starts. My reasoning was that the little bit of catch up info was worth it to start the chapter on a more dynamic note that pulls the reader in right away. I didn't think that explaining how/why they got to the boat shop in a paragraph or two would be that onerus. It could be re-written straight-forwardly, but I'd lose that interesting opening. I can't stand when a chapter starts with something as bland as, "We woke up and after breakfast we walked down to rent a power boat." There's nothing interesting about that. And it's more awkward for the reader to see the fight without knowing what the big deal is, more like if you're standing there beside them and wishing you'd gotten to the store ten minutes earlier or later. And wow, that explanation was long and sounds so defensive which I wasn't meaning to be. I appreciate the advice but in this case kind of like how it is. However, if there is a quicker way to sum up how/why they got there I'd re-write that to make it easier on readers.

 

 

 

Glad you like the issues with the parents. I like filling in all the characters around my central one. So often the main character complains about parents but readers never really see them much.

 

 

 

Thanks for being such a constant reviewer! Perhaps we should agree that we both rock

 

Date: 11/10/2010 08:46 AM

 

Title: Chapter 4 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Okay, another good chapter, although this one was perhaps a touch slower than the last two.

 

 

 

I really liked Brandt's reaction to Zane on the dock, that felt sweet and sort of made my own stomach flutter too. Nice.

 

 

 

I love how frank and honest Zane is, though I admit at some points his dialogue feels a little forced. It made me think he should be a psychologist, or something. Now, let me be clear here, the CONTENT of what he says is good, I like this level of analysis--but I wonder he'd be so articulate about it. Hmmm, I think it was this sentence that didn't feel right: "Maybe he really has matured a bit, enough to try and behave better in front of your parents. But because you’re his little brother he still wants to establish dominance over you.”

 

 

 

But, in saying that, there is a lot to this chapter that I REALLY liked.

 

 

 

hehe, Zane's folks are nuts. They just love the letter 'z' huh, lol. Glad to say I'm not THAT bad. hehe.

 

 

 

Also, I loved the setting. The stars--it is romantic.

 

 

 

The slow build between Zane and Brandt is working very well at the moment. This is the type of tension I like in a story. Nice. Nice. and more of that.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Hmm, I think you're right about Zane's dialogue. Now the question is, what would sound better? Something like, "Maybe he really has matured enough that he cares about changing the dynamic between him and your parents but he hasn't matured enough to realize the dynamic eventually has to change between you two too." Gah, that doesn't sound any more natural does it? Hmm, I will have to think on it... The thing I want Zane to get across is that he sees that Shea feels like if he doesn't torture Brandt then he's lost the position of power (the feeling of superiority) of being the older brother. He doesn't yet realize that they don't have to fight just because they're siblings, they can be friends once they're both adults. He's still too immature to accept that they can be equals.

 

 

 

Zane's parents CHOSE to have seven kids. Of course they are totally nuts

 

 

 

Glad you like the slow build so far... but the pace is not immune to fluctuation

 

 

 

Thanks so much for the review!

 

Date: 11/10/2010 08:31 AM

 

Title: Chapter 3 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Okay, I don't have much to say this chapter, just that it flowed and was darn easy to read. I like the mix of confusion and sexual tension you have threaded in here--it feels very, ah, real. I mean, when I think about my own teenage years and learning about myself it was exactly that. A mix of crazy emotions and feelings that manifested themselves in all sorts of weird, wonderful and, um, embarrassing ways. (I'm just saying it like it is).

 

 

 

Sweet, thanks for the read. I hope to get more in soon, would love to continue, but promised to watch something with the hubs.

 

 

 

Will get back to it as soon as I can!

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

Date: 11/09/2010

 

01:45 PM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title: Chapter 2 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Ohhh, now that was a step up. The action had just the right amount of balance with background info. Nice.

 

 

 

“Yeah right! You know how long she takes in the bathroom doing all that hair and make-up stuff?"

 

--I was just thinking about this. Actually out of all the girls and guys I know, the majority of guys( and (actually none) of the girls) I know take a really long time getting ready.

 

Yeah, the only people I know to take more than fifteen mins in the bathroom are boys, lol. hehe.

 

 

 

"If I go more than a day without becoming immersed in fictional written world, I just get anxious and annoyed and irritable with everyone and everything around me." --you could be talking about me here. You, too?

 

 

 

Good chapter.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Glad you think so! (What happens in chapter 2 again? I bet it's Chase. Lol.)

 

 

 

A friend's girlfriend was just like this at a cottage so the really girly fashion stuff is actually based on her. But I figured Shea is probably pretty into his image too so he needs a girl that is even worse than he is to make him feel better

 

 

 

Fictional worlds, on and off. When I'm in a good book or series I can't put it down and shun real life. When I'm not currently immersed in something or am mourning the end of a good book/series, I like to stay away and make up my own worlds

 

 

 

Thanks again for the review! You still rock!

 

Date: 11/09/2010 01:24 PM

 

Title: Chapter 1 Reviewer: Anyta Sunday

 

Ohhh, I feel this is going to be great. I'm REALLY surprised this only has eight reviews, seriously, I would have expected that for just chapter one alone.

 

 

 

Okay, well, since this story is completed and not popping up in the queue, I'll post both positive and constructive commetns in the review. If this bothers you feel free to PM me and I'll figure out another way to pass on the messages.

 

 

 

Okay, first off: ZANE--that is such a cool name. The 'z' gives it spunk, and I like that.

 

 

 

"My mom once gave my sister her pack of birth control pills right in front of two of her guy friends because that just happened to be the moment when Mom remembered they were in her purse.”

 

ROFL!OMG, that is sooo embarrassing, but also, I'm ashamed to say, sort of the way I work too. haha, I would totally only remember them when seeing two guys that could potentially get my daughter pregnant (okay I have a son, so I guess this would be condoms)--shoot, I hope my head is a little bit more screwed on right THAT day, one day.

 

 

 

I like how this starts. It's immediately engaging. One minor crit I have with this chapter is that there is perhaps too much background info. Don't get me wrong, it's interesting, it just seemed a little out of proportion, esp. for the first chapter. This is the chance you have to capture your audience. I really like how you did this with Corrupted.

 

 

 

I really do want this depth of character to come through, it's all good, I'm only thinking of placement here. And, of course, it's just my opinion. hehe.

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Woo new reviews on an old story! You are awesome! Closer to Myself feels alive again! Eight reviews is a lot for me. The only story I've written that's gotten more than eight is Corrupted. I pretty much orgasmed when I first hit the double digits in review count! I also posted this all at once so that probably had something to do with it.

 

 

 

Not popping up in the queue? Do you mean in the forums? That would be because I posted this before I even had an account for the forums and such and didn't even know there was a place I could make discussion threads. And c'mon, eight reviews, no one would have posted anyway But feel free to leave whatever comments you want here. I'll take the good and the bad all in the public eye

 

 

 

Glad you like "Zane". You will also enjoy his siblings names then

 

 

 

Ah yes, Zane's mom is always in the moment. Zane has some other good stories too.

 

 

 

I agree about too much background. I should punish myself for starting almost right away with a flashback. That's just lame. But at the time I couldn't think of a way around it. Maybe if I look at it with fresh eyes I can move the info around to a bit better spot.

 

 

 

I like your opinion! Thanks so much for such a detailed review! You rock!

 

Date: 11/09/2010 12:16 PM

 

Title: Epilogue Reviewer: jhol7689

 

Cute story I enjoyed it and even though you think Shea might not care for his brother he shows it when he went after chad and accepted his little brothers sexuality and is only dissapointed how he treated Zane. great job

 

 

 

Author's Response:

 

 

 

Thanks! Shea was a pretty fun guy to write. I love characters who are beautiful, charismatic, and popular and who know it and have no problem letting everyone else know they know it. Shea was developed around the idea of inverting the stereotypical best friend/brother character who freaks out and is a jerk when the protagonist comes out. Shea is an ass on any given day and loves giving Brandt a hard time, but his true feelings and attitude are much deeper and more accepting than almost everyone else. I hope I did him justice.

 

Date: 08/14/2010 10:48 PM