Y_B Posted January 4, 2011 Posted January 4, 2011 Do you walk on water as well as give advice and throw insults around? Nahh, but I use to be a pretty good swimmer. I didn't carry the same momentum once I got in college and I kinda regret that cuz it's something I love(d) to do and wasn't too bad at. I was a IMer, so I.....wait, I'm getting off topic. 3
Site Administrator Cia Posted January 4, 2011 Site Administrator Posted January 4, 2011 I do not want to close a valid topic someone else started because some members can not keep this from devolving into personal nitpicking. This topic is one with some sensitive situations where people are saying what they view their worst mistakes in their love life have been. Everyone needs to respect that they are sharing their personal stories and either share helpful and thoughtful conversation to the subject or stay out of the topic. 3
freakthefreakout Posted January 5, 2011 Posted January 5, 2011 My biggest mistake was going against my morals and dating a guy who had a gf and was closeted
Site Administrator Cia Posted January 5, 2011 Site Administrator Posted January 5, 2011 My biggest mistake was going against my morals and dating a guy who had a gf and was closeted It's never fun to be someone's dirty little secret. It makes you question your own self-worth at times. I faced that, but because I was white and my boyfriend wasn't. His momma didn't like me at all, not even as a friend. He could barely speak to me where she could see. That really sucked.
Y_B Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 It's never fun to be someone's dirty little secret. It makes you question your own self-worth at times. I faced that, but because I was white and my boyfriend wasn't. His momma didn't like me at all, not even as a friend. He could barely speak to me where she could see. That really sucked. I wonder if there's a distinction between hiding someone and having to hide someone for different purposes. What I mean is, when you date someone and he or she hides you as if they're ashamed of you, that's pretty bad. In the case described above where they even have another relationship and only uses you to satisfy their closeted needs is just plain wrong. However, my last relationship touched on the borders of this a bit and it was always something that bother both him and I, but I'm not sure if it was a mistake or anyone's fault. I'm closeted and haven't been comfortable enough to really put a foot out yet. My guy was open, but not in an overt way, he just didn't hide it like I made the effort to. He and I both know that one of the reasons for me being this way is because my parents are open homo-dislikes. I love them to death and it's been tough on me over the years, so I kept my mouth shut and blinds down. As a result a lot of what I do is behind their backs and my friends' backs, including dating my guy. At first it wasn't a problem, but slowly it became apparent that he didn't understand what it's like to be closeted and wasn't at all patient or understanding. Sad to say, he pretty much pushed me halfway out and while it made me extremely uncomfortable, I dealt with it because it was for him. Was I hiding him? Yes. Was he a secret? Yes, but not in a malevolent way. I just didn't know any other way. One could argue that unless I come out, I'll never be ready for a relationship, but I don't believe that, and that's too much pressure. I don't know if I made a mistake in thinking that our situation was manageable or if the mistake was to think I was ever ready for a relationship or anything. The worst feeling is not knowing what's wrong.
daniellehern04 Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 Staying in the closet all through high school. I am now playing catch up and I don't like playing catch up.
Tipdin Posted January 8, 2011 Posted January 8, 2011 Staying in the closet all through high school. I am now playing catch up and I don't like playing catch up. AMEN Brother!
rustle Posted January 9, 2011 Posted January 9, 2011 My biggest mistake? How long do you have? Seriously, not sure which is worst: 1. Not taking a risk and speaking up. Time and opportunities don't stand still. 2. Not taking care of myself when somebody else clearly had their own best interest at heart. 3. Compromising until there was nothing left of myself. Hopefully, we learn.
Raijen Posted January 12, 2011 Posted January 12, 2011 I made the mistake of serial monogamy... Not knocking monogamy (because it's my personal ideal), but a combination of various factors (low self-esteem, lack of self-identity, repressed anger) can cause a person to do some pretty messed up things (like sitting outside, underneath a window to listen in on a conversation in a foreign language you only halfway understand...... I still can't believe I ever got to that point in crazy...). It isn't the biggest mistake, I don't think, especially when compared to some of the other stories I've read on this thread, but it's definitely one that eventually can cause issues. I've had to take almost three years off from dating to find myself, and even though I think I've met someone that might be worth the time, the past still kinda haunts at times...
Marzipan Posted January 12, 2011 Author Posted January 12, 2011 I made the mistake of serial monogamy... Serial monogamy, that's new term for me Do you mean going from one relationship straight to another? Finding oneself is really healthy! Have fun doing it!
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