[KingdombytheSea] Social Skills

[TetRefine]

Hmm, well, the guys I tutored had "practice" the whole year, but maybe it's what you're talking about. It is early February, as I mentioned a month has passed already. But thanks for the info . . . There's a reason I'm not writing from Jared's pov

 

Btw, I am gonna reply to the posters above, but I can't do it front the iPad . . . Typing is too hard

 

Yeah, most likely it was lifting and conditioning sessions they were going to then instead of actual practices. Even at a DI school like UVA they would get a couple months break from actual, regular season-like practices.

[Sara Alva]

Okay... I'm at the first asterisk of Ch. 11. And for the record, I am strangling my computer monitor (like an angry abusive dad shaking a baby) because you skipped another sex scene. Write it... don't gloss over it. It's important to show exactly how far each time went and the progression of their physical and emotional relationship each time they are together. It's not just a dirty thing for you to skip over - in a way it describes a lot about how much or little they enjoy each other!

 

More commentary to come later I'm expecting... Maybe I'll just edit this post to add on.

 

---

Okay, the rest of the chapter was nice... but seems like karma's coming back to bite Connor in the ass with Beth. Admitting that he was dating would compromise Jared. Pushing Beth away would be cold. Lying to Rebecca would lead to more lies and eventually the end of their friendship with the only people he was accepted (somewhat) by when he first got to college, especially Rebecca.

 

Gah, okay... Sara... This isn't the Disney Channel... You rated the story as Mature for a reason.

 

I hope in the near future you'll finally write about how intimate Connor and Jared's physical relationship gets instead of pressing the Fast Forward button every time a sex scene queues up.

 

Will Connor shake off Beth, will Jared get jealous? Will "accidents" happen between Beth and Connor where Jared just happens to be there and ruin the trust and delicate nature of their relationship?

 

I <3 my computer monitor. Please don't make me shake it again. It's a really nice 1080p 24" Samsung I bought from Black Friday and I really enjoy having it in operational order.

 

However, your writing continues to amaze me. While I would have picked a more direct story path, you provide context and backstory to your minor characters and other associated interactions while keeping it relevant to social skills and while still keeping the point of view focused on Connor. Keep up with your great work, and as one of your many avid fans, post faster

 

 

I loved this chapter...but I agree with everything fmd mentioned above

 

 

Ditto what anya said! also, in reply to your reply to my review i had to say that Nope I dont miss Ronnie, it's just that i really really don't like it how her name just appears casually, almost nonexistent, but enough to remind us she's there.

 

you know, kinda like when parents are talking to kids and they casually slip in the word monster (say the one that lives in the closet under the stairs) !

 

As for the story being posted early, I was just rejoicing! :hug: and all my :D ... u did notice the "YAY" right?

 

 

Okay peoples, hehe.

 

While I'm not read to say I'm 100% sure I made the right decisions (or the wrong ones ), I can tell you why I do what I do.

 

I'm a very plot-centered person. I rarely read any book or watch any show that does not have a plot. Nearly every scene, conversation, etc. in my story relates back to the plot. When and if I write a sex scene, it is either for plot purposes, or for character development (which in turn informs said plot). I don't skip scenes because they're "dirty," I do it because nothing informative would come out of them, in my mind. On the sexual playing field, nothing has changed between the guys. They're still doing what they've been doing, nothing new. If and when this changes, I'd be sure to tell you. I had three "descriptive" scenes in Part 1, and I felt like what they contained was adequate for my purposes; continuing to do them would have been a little superfluous in my mind. That said, the one place I might have expanded if I knew how much people wanted it was those 15 min. I can sorta see why people may have wanted to see more, since it was the first time Connor initiated, verbally at least. The fact that I didn't just tells you that when they got down to business, things were not all that different from the last time. But who knows, maybe one day I'll put them in

 

As for taking an "indirect" path . . . him, I think I just build slowly. I don't think I'm meandering all that much. I mean, I can connect all the dots, but then again, I know the whole story I guess you guys'll have to tell me what you think when it's over, if you stick around

 

Oh, and Frosty . . . about Ronnie . . . the same thing I said about the sex goes for her. We can't see a ton of her since I'm sticking w/ Connor's POV and obviously she's not around him that much. But every time I do mention her, even in passing, it's either because she would come up naturally in Connor's thoughts, or it's for plot purposes.

 

So, anyways, I hope this isn't more info than you wanted from the author But thank you guys so much for the feedback, it gets me to think and I really appreciate it!

[J.T.]

Okay peoples, hehe.

 

While I'm not read to say I'm 100% sure I made the right decisions (or the wrong ones ), I can tell you why I do what I do.

 

I'm a very plot-centered person. I rarely read any book or watch any show that does not have a plot. Nearly every scene, conversation, etc. in my story relates back to the plot. When and if I write a sex scene, it is either for plot purposes, or for character development (which in turn informs said plot). I don't skip scenes because they're "dirty," I do it because nothing informative would come out of them, in my mind. On the sexual playing field, nothing has changed between the guys. They're still doing what they've been doing, nothing new. If and when this changes, I'd be sure to tell you. I had three "descriptive" scenes in Part 1, and I felt like what they contained was adequate for my purposes; continuing to do them would have been a little superfluous in my mind. That said, the one place I might have expanded if I knew how much people wanted it was those 15 min. I can sorta see why people may have wanted to see more, since it was the first time Connor initiated, verbally at least. The fact that I didn't just tells you that when they got down to business, things were not all that different from the last time. But who knows, maybe one day I'll put them in

 

As for taking an "indirect" path . . . him, I think I just build slowly. I don't think I'm meandering all that much. I mean, I can connect all the dots, but then again, I know the whole story I guess you guys'll have to tell me what you think when it's over, if you stick around

 

Oh, and Frosty . . . about Ronnie . . . the same thing I said about the sex goes for her. We can't see a ton of her since I'm sticking w/ Connor's POV and obviously she's not around him that much. But every time I do mention her, even in passing, it's either because she would come up naturally in Connor's thoughts, or it's for plot purposes.

 

So, anyways, I hope this isn't more info than you wanted from the author But thank you guys so much for the feedback, it gets me to think and I really appreciate it!

 

Blah... face it... you just like screwing with our minds You won't write it until after you're done with the whole story... or when we you. It's alright... the who wants to be naughty can be just as useful as plot development as the . We're not asking you to get all nasty and raunchy... blah ... but still... some would be nice if it's sprinkled in a bit here and there.

[Sara Alva]

Blah... face it... you just like screwing with our minds You won't write it until after you're done with the whole story... or when we you. It's alright... the who wants to be naughty can be just as useful as plot development as the . We're not asking you to get all nasty and raunchy... blah ... but still... some would be nice if it's sprinkled in a bit here and there.

 

LOL maybe it's just me but I didn't totally get what you meant here. And dude, I had three scenes in Part 1, sheesh, you guys are insatiable. Not every plot point can revolve around sex So, do you want me to detail the upcoming chapters that have sex? Or can you just wait to read them when I post . . .

[J.T.]

LOL maybe it's just me but I didn't totally get what you meant here. And dude, I had three scenes in Part 1, sheesh, you guys are insatiable. Not every plot point can revolve around sex So, do you want me to detail the upcoming chapters that have sex? Or can you just wait to read them when I post . . .

 

The latter... which brings me back to my previous post of post faster

[Sara Alva]

Chapter 12 . . .

[Frostina]

Chapter 12 . . .

 

AND WHAT A RIDE (errr... read HIKE) ! :)

[Agaith]

Well that was certainly...eventful

 

I feel something quite big is going to happen soon though, Conner and Jared are becoming happier with each other

Oh and I really hope Conner's mother gets a dose of reality at some stage! hehe

 

Really enjoying the story please dont stop

[Sara Alva]

Well that was certainly...eventful

 

I feel something quite big is going to happen soon though, Conner and Jared are becoming happier with each other

Oh and I really hope Conner's mother gets a dose of reality at some stage! hehe

 

Really enjoying the story please dont stop

 

Thanks . . . I promise I will see the story all the way through.

[TetRefine]

Very interesting. And I totally called Jared being a top, just sayin'. I liked your writing of the sex scene. You didn't completely just skip over it and imply that it happened, but you didn't describe it in such detail that it sounded like reading a crappy Nifty text porn story. Nice!

[Fishwings]

Very interesting. And I totally called Jared being a top, just sayin'. I liked your writing of the sex scene. You didn't completely just skip over it and imply that it happened, but you didn't describe it in such detail that it sounded like reading a crappy Nifty text porn story. Nice!

 

 

Dude I totally agree with Tet haha! Sometimes I feel awkward reading super graphic sex scenes, and sometimes it feels a bit too censored and lacking when authors just skip right past them. But this was really tastefully done. Emotional and sexy.

 

Mm. Cold and slimy fingers.

[J.T.]

So... for the sake of advising our readers, I have created the Veronica Advisory System.

 

Be on the lookout - be prepared. (Yes, I might have to create one for Beth)

[Sara Alva]

So... for the sake of advising our readers, I have created the Veronica Advisory System.

 

Be on the lookout - be prepared. (Yes, I might have to create one for Beth)

 

:lol:

 

I literally just burst out laughing so hard that my cat got scared and fell off the couch.

 

You are too much

[Andrew Q Gordon]

So... for the sake of advising our readers, I have created the Veronica Advisory System.

 

Be on the lookout - be prepared. (Yes, I might have to create one for Beth)

 

It is rare I comment on the comments to someone else's story and rarer still that I have rep points to give away this late in the day but this was too funny to ignore.

 

Nice job.

 

Andy

[Frostina]

So... for the sake of advising our readers, I have created the Veronica Advisory System.

 

Be on the lookout - be prepared. (Yes, I might have to create one for Beth)

 

ROFLMAO! literally!!(well almost! )

[Sara Alva]

Very interesting. And I totally called Jared being a top, just sayin'. I liked your writing of the sex scene. You didn't completely just skip over it and imply that it happened, but you didn't describe it in such detail that it sounded like reading a crappy Nifty text porn story. Nice!

 

 

Dude I totally agree with Tet haha! Sometimes I feel awkward reading super graphic sex scenes, and sometimes it feels a bit too censored and lacking when authors just skip right past them. But this was really tastefully done. Emotional and sexy.

 

Mm. Cold and slimy fingers.

 

Sorry I forgot to reply to you guys! Thank you very much for the vote of confidence-- I was a little nervous about the chapter.

 

 

Anyways, here's Chapter 13

 

Thanks for reading!

[Frostina]

"speedreader" i think i was just conveniently online he he!

 

Oh and I hate the foreboding feeling.. just so u know!

 

Frosty = Hopeless romantic! so u know how i feel!!!

Just hope that things settle for the better... and soon!

Cheers!

[J.T.]

Just sayin' The Veronica Advisory System is now at YELLOW.

 

[Anya]

Just sayin' The Veronica Advisory System is now at YELLOW.

 

 

LOL...I love it! ;p

 

I really liked this chapter...I think it's about time Connor shares with Jared how he feels about Veronica...and their relationship etc.

Can't wait for the new chapter....I soo knew this was gonna be a problem. lol

 

Next time stop obsessing over one sentence and post the stoy already

Edited February 27, 2011 by Anya

[Sara Alva]

"speedreader" i think i was just conveniently online he he!

 

Oh and I hate the foreboding feeling.. just so u know!

 

Frosty = Hopeless romantic! so u know how i feel!!!

Just hope that things settle for the better... and soon!

Cheers!

 

Sorry Frosty . . .

 

Just sayin' The Veronica Advisory System is now at YELLOW.

 

 

Hehe

 

 

LOL...I love it! ;p

 

I really liked this chapter...I think it's about time Connor shares with Jared how he feels about Veronica...and their relationship etc.

Can't wait for the new chapter....I soo knew this was gonna be a problem. lol

 

Next time stop obsessing over one sentence and post the stoy already

 

Glad you liked the chapter, even though it wasn't the happiest. And I'll try to keep your advice in mind . Thanks for reading

[TetRefine]

A relationship that hides in the shadows for too long is bound to be outed or end in disaster.

[Sara Alva]

A relationship that hides in the shadows for too long is bound to be outed or end in disaster.

 

Indeed. Thanks for reading!

[Marzipan]

Connor goes to the dance and that is where things start to roll down hill first, then.... Right? I really can see Jarod stepping up for his real love at some point, but lets enjoy the agony first!

 

This is going to be a good ride!

[Sara Alva]

Connor goes to the dance and that is where things start to roll down hill first, then.... Right? I really can see Jarod stepping up for his real love at some point, but lets enjoy the agony first!

 

This is going to be a good ride!

 

I'm glad you enjoy the agony, 'cause there's at least 10 chapters left.

I've been in a writing slump lately but I'll try to get back into the swing of things soon.

[Marzipan]

I'm glad you enjoy the agony, 'cause there's at least 10 chapters left.

I've been in a writing slump lately but I'll try to get back into the swing of things soon.

 

 

Slump? Nooooo slumps! :wacko: :wacko: :wacko: