[KingdombytheSea] Social Skills

[Sara Alva]

Wow...great chapter Sara! I love the way you describe Connor's emotions.

 

Jared really was an asshole in this chapter -.- lol

 

Will we get weekly(or more) updates from now on again?

 

My plan is for weekly updates, if I can get all my pesky RL stuff done. So you hate Jared now, huh? Frosty might have somethin' to say about that-- she was upset in her review that people were talking bad about him

 

Thanks for continuing with the story!

 

I can't wait to see how the story unfolds!

 

I know this might not be where you're heading, but I am just so anxious to see Connor go off with another guy, like Rich, and Jared being all jealous and then deciding to grovel to get Connor back.

 

Though, whatever plot you have in your mind, I am anxious to read it unfold!

 

I've written the entire story already-- so, I *could* tell you what's going to happen, but what'd be the fun in that? Thanks for sharing your thoughts

 

 

Very interesting chapter... I liked it very much

 

I hope that Connor will find a guy who are not scared of anyone but at the same time willing to stick with him at all times.

 

Again, excellent chapter!

 

John

 

Thanks John. I know this wasn't the most "fun" chapter, but I'm glad you liked it.

[Sara Alva]

As much as I want to say that I called this chapters ago, it still had enough twist that I had not calculated. Who knew the openness of Connor telling/blurting out everything on his mind would be the one thing that would shatter his relationship when he's always been the reclusive bottled-up person?

 

Again, this "taking a break" business goes back to what happens when you have two people dating each other who are both not out yet. There is significant grief, and as such, the grief cycle comes to play: Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, Acceptance.

 

We saw Jared in shock, denial, and anger, while we see Connor more in the bargaining stage trying to negotiate to try to get his relationship back to where it was before. At then end of this chapter, we see Connor sinking towards the depression stage.

 

I look forward to see how Connor takes his roller-coaster ride up the grief cycle to go from depression to testing and eventually towards acceptance. I also hope that eventually both Connor and Jared both find themselves in acceptance in whatever they decide to do later in this story.

 

I would issue out a RTA for this chapter, but it would really only apply to the first bit of the chapter really. And considering RTAs are generally apply to external forces ruining the relationship - not necessarily members of the relationship pursuing a break-up. Depending on where the story goes later on, I might revise the system to measure something else in the story... perhaps statistical likelihood of Jared and Connor getting back together, Connor's mental stability vs. ability to cope with change, or something of that sort... but I guess it might be as interesting as the RTA was... I guess it was fun while it lasted.

 

 

Well this wasn't unexpected, it was enough of a twist with Connor's emotions that it was a good read this chapter.

 

Jared is interesting because while its easy to hate him, call him an asshole and demonize him, its not hard to relate to him. In For some of us, reading about Jared and his fear reminds you a bit about yourself. How you used to be (or in some ways still are) when your dealing with your sexuality. So in that way it's easy to understand where he's coming from this chapter, even if he IS being an asshole.

 

I'm curious about where you want to take this. Despite these new developments, Connor still has a ways to go, not only in accepting his sexuality, but in becoming his own person. Whether he ever reaches either points remains to be seen, but it'll be interesting reading more about his journey.

 

Jay- Yeah, sorry the advisory decisions aren't so clear cut anymore Also, thanks for your feedback re how you saw Connor and Jared in the 'grief cycle'

 

Caedus- I'm glad you don't find Jared to be too one-dimensional. As I never switch perspectives to tell the story through his eyes, I'm really interested in how readers relate to him.

 

Both you guys: I'm glad you found the chapter interesting/somewhat surprising. I do feel that much of my story can be predicted, as I'm striving to keep it very realistic (as I told Jay once, this isn't really a soap opera ). My hope is that it's not an "oh that's so boring I knew it was going to happen" sort of predictable, but rather, "yes, I can figure that out because it makes sense." I'm pretty conscious of developments to come and often leave "bread crumbs" that can lead readers to guess future events correctly. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I get mad when things seem illogical, so I probably error on the side of making things too clear-cut. I guess time will tell how my tactics work

[TetRefine]

I loved this chapter. I know how Conner feels when someone unexpectedly guesses that your gay and how it can shock you. That twist of Jared essentially dumping Conner was a bit of a surprise, and I truly feel for Jared how he has lost basically everything that makes him happy. I'm really excited to see where this is gonna go. Thanks for another great chapter.

Edited March 18, 2011 by TetRefine

[Sara Alva]

I loved this chapter. I know how Conner feels when someone unexpectedly guesses that your gay and how it can shock you. That twist of Jared essentially dumping Conner was a bit of a surprise, and I truly feel for Jared how he has lost basically everything that makes him happy. I'm really excited to see where this is gonna go. Thanks for another great chapter.

 

And thanks for still reading Glad to hear the emotions are coming through, and that you can relate to the characters.

[Frostina]

My plan is for weekly updates, if I can get all my pesky RL stuff done. So you hate Jared now, huh? Frosty might have somethin' to say about that-- she was upset in her review that people were talking bad about him

 

OOOH!!! see what u did Sara? People hate Jared now.. true.. he's not having the best time of his life.. his actions are nothing to write home about. but, is he THAT bad.. really??

 

I do like his straightforwardness... i mean... (true.. i dont like the fact that he was keeping Connor as a secret.. but... ) he did own up! he did realise.. NOT a lot of people do! and I like him for it! and he apologised... he did say that he didnt mean to hurt Connor.. and we know that was heart felt!

 

My heart aches for Connor.. it does... I do hurt for what he's going through.. but my heart breaks for Jared too... That end of the social cycle is NOT easy to deal with! It isnt!!!

Please Sara, i KNOW as uve said many times in the past that the story's already written.. bit please, please don't make Jared too much of a BAD guy

Please?? pretty please????

 

 

[J.T.]

I'm pretty conscious of developments to come and often leave "bread crumbs" that can lead readers to guess future events correctly. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I get mad when things seem illogical, so I probably error on the side of making things too clear-cut. I guess time will tell how my tactics work

 

With you on one end leaving bread crumbs and with Frosty pulling a Fight Club equivalent Anthol piece, you two should find a happy medium of keeping me on my feet but not giving me a heart attack. I've been told that although a quick and early death would save me lots of money from paying back student loans, I need my heart to last a while

 

I just hope you have more luck with your posting schedule than I did with mine. My job is taking me on a roller coaster ride and without a clear 9-5 work week to schedule myself, I'm often more exhausted at home than geared up with ideas for the story.

 

Here's my take on this story though: I don't hate Jared - this break-up was expected. You have a closeted guy who is such an introvert that he cannot withstand social situations dating another closeted guy with such an established social repertoire that when push came to shove, we all knew Jared would be the one to pull back, even if Connor's sister could have done the same thing when she found out during the holidays.

 

Let's flip sides, would Connor have done the same thing and hide in a corner if he was approached to question whether he was gay and in a relationship with Jared by his parents if his sister blabbed? Would he try to cover things up to keep things under wraps? Although we see very strong emotions coming from Connor, we must remember that this story is portrayed through Connor's eyes. This means that the scenes are not supposed to be painted fairly. We're on purposely feeling/siding with Connor because we're reading his thoughts and emotions, as well as his justifications of his actions or inactions through him and him alone.

 

Before we smack Jared down like it's Judgement Day... I think we just need to take a step back and understand the situation a little bit better.

 

Sara, awesome chapter, can't wait for your next one.

[Anya]

Lol Sara....noo I don't hate Jared! I understand his actions...but still...I feel a little more sorry for Connor....besides...there was this one thing Jared said that bothered me a little.

He said something like " I like having fun with you Connor....but that's all"

I though it might have been a little more...because Connor is so in love with him....but maybe he was lying or something

 

Anyway...I like that you drop a few clues as to what might happen. I can't say I didn't expect it, but I was surprised at the way they broke up and that it was so soon in the story

[Sara Alva]

OOOH!!! see what u did Sara? People hate Jared now.. true.. he's not having the best time of his life.. his actions are nothing to write home about. but, is he THAT bad.. really??

 

I do like his straightforwardness... i mean... (true.. i dont like the fact that he was keeping Connor as a secret.. but... ) he did own up! he did realise.. NOT a lot of people do! and I like him for it! and he apologised... he did say that he didnt mean to hurt Connor.. and we know that was heart felt!

 

My heart aches for Connor.. it does... I do hurt for what he's going through.. but my heart breaks for Jared too... That end of the social cycle is NOT easy to deal with! It isnt!!!

Please Sara, i KNOW as uve said many times in the past that the story's already written.. bit please, please don't make Jared too much of a BAD guy

Please?? pretty please????

 

 

 

Haha Frosty. Don't worry, I don't think people hate him, really. They're just not his biggest fans right now.

 

And yep, the story is already written But you're free to make your wishes known.

[Sara Alva]

With you on one end leaving bread crumbs and with Frosty pulling a Fight Club equivalent Anthol piece, you two should find a happy medium of keeping me on my feet but not giving me a heart attack. I've been told that although a quick and early death would save me lots of money from paying back student loans, I need my heart to last a while

 

I just hope you have more luck with your posting schedule than I did with mine. My job is taking me on a roller coaster ride and without a clear 9-5 work week to schedule myself, I'm often more exhausted at home than geared up with ideas for the story.

 

Here's my take on this story though: I don't hate Jared - this break-up was expected. You have a closeted guy who is such an introvert that he cannot withstand social situations dating another closeted guy with such an established social repertoire that when push came to shove, we all knew Jared would be the one to pull back, even if Connor's sister could have done the same thing when she found out during the holidays.

 

Let's flip sides, would Connor have done the same thing and hide in a corner if he was approached to question whether he was gay and in a relationship with Jared by his parents if his sister blabbed? Would he try to cover things up to keep things under wraps? Although we see very strong emotions coming from Connor, we must remember that this story is portrayed through Connor's eyes. This means that the scenes are not supposed to be painted fairly. We're on purposely feeling/siding with Connor because we're reading his thoughts and emotions, as well as his justifications of his actions or inactions through him and him alone.

 

Before we smack Jared down like it's Judgement Day... I think we just need to take a step back and understand the situation a little bit better.

 

Sara, awesome chapter, can't wait for your next one.

 

Yeah it's hard to stay on top of the posting-- and I already have the whole thing drafted out! Writing from scratch would mean a lot bigger gaps between posting. And there are the days when I really should be working on something else (like lesson plans ). . . but I'll try to keep things moving along.

 

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the story. Guess I can't really say much on the matter until it's done ... other than the fact that you are right, of course, the story is told through Connor's eyes, which obviously impacts how we read the events

 

Lol Sara....noo I don't hate Jared! I understand his actions...but still...I feel a little more sorry for Connor....besides...there was this one thing Jared said that bothered me a little.

He said something like " I like having fun with you Connor....but that's all"

I though it might have been a little more...because Connor is so in love with him....but maybe he was lying or something

 

Anyway...I like that you drop a few clues as to what might happen. I can't say I didn't expect it, but I was surprised at the way they broke up and that it was so soon in the story

 

Glad you like the clues. And Frosty will be relieved you're not a Jared-hater

[Sara Alva]

Chapter 16 is up. A little longer than most.

[Frostina]

Chapter 16 is up. A little longer than most.

 

And, Nothing abt Jared

 

I miss him!!! **sniffs**

 

Really good one Sara.. things that needed to be said and done...

Hope Conner gets better with 'practice' (i mean interactions )

Melissa's just a perfect example of how to deal with parents!! i wish my sister was like her

 

waiting for news of Jared!

[Sara Alva]

And, Nothing abt Jared

 

I miss him!!! **sniffs**

 

Really good one Sara.. things that needed to be said and done...

Hope Conner gets better with 'practice' (i mean interactions )

Melissa's just a perfect example of how to deal with parents!! i wish my sister was like her

 

waiting for news of Jared!

 

So how mad would you be if you had to wait a while . . . and, wait, who said there was going to be news on Jared??

[J.T.]

+1 reputation point for Rebecca , -9001 reputation points for Connor's mother (yes, it's over 9000...negative, that is), +1 reputation point for Melissa.

 

He needs to be dragged out to something, anything, and not be rotting in his room. If I had known someone like Connor in my life, I would (well... I'd totally date him... but okay... besides that) drag him outside to "see the world" and do something so he's not just focusing on what's bothering him with his life. Keeping my life busy and occupied helped me get through some nasty/emotional breakups (even back when I was dating women... lol)

 

I have no doubt that during the times when I decided to just let the depression consume my life instead of moving on whether I truly felt like I was happy or not, when I let the depression get the best of me, I let myself feel horrible and fall into that endless pit that had no bounceback in sight.

 

I ended up going to parties... quite a few of them and discovered how awesome of an alcohol tolerance I have... even beating most of the best drinkers in a couple fraternities on campus...which was pretty awesome. (Binge drinking is never the answer...which I found out later... but I digress) I also met a lot of new people during these parties and social gatherings, and the new niches I mingled let me see how socially inept I used to be, and totally brought me out of my shell by my sophomore year of college.

 

I can't see what would have happened if I just allowed myself to be bottled up like I used to do back in high school and allowed that habit to continue until today. I wonder if I would have met my first guy that way... hmmm... lots to think about...

[TetRefine]

Best chapter so far! Loved it!

[Sara Alva]

+1 reputation point for Rebecca , -9001 reputation points for Connor's mother (yes, it's over 9000...negative, that is), +1 reputation point for Melissa.

 

He needs to be dragged out to something, anything, and not be rotting in his room. If I had known someone like Connor in my life, I would (well... I'd totally date him... but okay... besides that) drag him outside to "see the world" and do something so he's not just focusing on what's bothering him with his life. Keeping my life busy and occupied helped me get through some nasty/emotional breakups (even back when I was dating women... lol)

 

I have no doubt that during the times when I decided to just let the depression consume my life instead of moving on whether I truly felt like I was happy or not, when I let the depression get the best of me, I let myself feel horrible and fall into that endless pit that had no bounceback in sight.

 

I ended up going to parties... quite a few of them and discovered how awesome of an alcohol tolerance I have... even beating most of the best drinkers in a couple fraternities on campus...which was pretty awesome. (Binge drinking is never the answer...which I found out later... but I digress) I also met a lot of new people during these parties and social gatherings, and the new niches I mingled let me see how socially inept I used to be, and totally brought me out of my shell by my sophomore year of college.

 

I can't see what would have happened if I just allowed myself to be bottled up like I used to do back in high school and allowed that habit to continue until today. I wonder if I would have met my first guy that way... hmmm... lots to think about...

 

So, is the rep points your new 'thing'? I'm glad you found something to relate to in the chapter-- as I've said (too many times, probably, lol) I was really going for "realistic" with this story, so finding RL correlations is a positive thing in my book.

And I'm glad you discovered binge drinking is not the answer

 

Best chapter so far! Loved it!

 

Thanks!

[J.T.]

And I'm glad you discovered binge drinking is not the answer

 

Oh I never said it was the answer... I was just exposed to a different lifestyle and the whole drink until you pass out thing just wasn't my thing... mainly since apparently I have a super high tolerance for alcohol, it'd be way too damn expensive than to just have a friend whack me with a 2x4 to the head. Same outcome, but way lower on costs since I can reuse that 2x4 on multiple occasions (and for different people... and for different purposes too lol)

[Frostina]

Glad you like the clues. And Frosty will be relieved you're not a Jared-hater

 

Anya My darling.. I knew there was a reason I love you!

 

 

So how mad would you be if you had to wait a while . . . and, wait, who said there was going to be news on Jared??

 

Hehe!! U just did!

 

I'll wait honey! there's no way u're getting rid of me that easily! who will write stupid reviews otherwise?

[J.T.]

who will write stupid reviews otherwise?

 

Who dares call your reviews stupid?!?!?!??!

 

[J.T.]

So, I haven't added a glossary of terms, but I was inspired to post links to the pieces I reference, in case anyone wanted a listen (I won't be offended if you don't ). They've been added to the ends of the chapters, but just thought I'd pop them up here as well.

 

Chapter 3

Scheherazade (What Connor plays for Jared)

 

I much prefer just a compilation of the violin solos to be honest... it's really what I pay attention to... but I'm biased lol (Too bad this YouTube video is only 240p - the audio's kinda grainy)

[Sara Alva]

Who dares call your reviews stupid?!?!?!??!

 

 

Certainly not I.

 

I much prefer just a compilation of the violin solos to be honest... it's really what I pay attention to... but I'm biased lol (Too bad this YouTube video is only 240p - the audio's kinda grainy)

 

All right smarty pants, I'll add the link. I was trying not to be too violin-biased But yeah, this is nice

[J.T.]

All right smarty pants, I'll add the link. I was trying not to be too violin-biased But yeah, this is nice

 

You're trying not to be too violin-biased on a story description for a main character who essentially plays the violin for a living... hmmmmmmmm...

[Sara Alva]

You're trying not to be too violin-biased on a story description for a main character who essentially plays the violin for a living... hmmmmmmmm...

 

He doesn't play for a living. Though I could let him know where there's some choice street corners to make a few bucks.

[J.T.]

He doesn't play for a living. Though I could let him know where there's some choice street corners to make a few bucks.

 

Hmmmm does Connor even know what his major is yet? I mean I know his mother's pushing him towards law school... but what major did he exactly gain entrance with?

[Sara Alva]

Hmmmm does Connor even know what his major is yet? I mean I know his mother's pushing him towards law school... but what major did he exactly gain entrance with?

 

Well he's in the liberal arts program. You don't need to declare a major until like the 3rd year I think, though most do it earlier.

[J.T.]

Well he's in the liberal arts program. You don't need to declare a major until like the 3rd year I think, though most do it earlier.

 

You can do that?! Wow... hell all of my friends had to pick a major and switch advisors as necessary by the end of their first semester freshman year