[Dark] Waylon's Crossing by Dark

[Dark]

Comic Part 2:

 

[Dark]

No idea why I'm awake, but since I am ... Comic part 3:

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Dark,

 

I have to say that although I don't understand the reference - yet as you said it is not yet there in the story - the art work is really quite amazing. Your friend is very talented. Pretty cool

[Dark]

Yeah, I love the artwork, but then again I'm biased. I really like the look on Bryce's face in part 3.

 

Part 4:

 

[Dark]

Chapter 4 is posted! Getting closer to the start of the comic now.

[Dark]

Wow. I hadn't realized that I'd forgotten to post the next piece of the comic.

 

Here it is, and remember that Bryce is a vampire .....

 

[Dark]

The next chapter shall be up later today and I'm sure you'll be able to figure out what this comic is about.

 

Part 6:

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

The cartoon is great, and because of it, I had to find out all about the the characters so I quickly read through chapter 4, yes I owe you reviews, and I will get there, BUT i wanted to say I do enjoy the comic

[Dark]

I love reviews, but you really don't owe me anything.

 

Chapter 5 is up, and a bonus comic page! BTW, have I mentioned that I love how Bryce's braids are different lengths? LOL

 

 

[Dark]

I told the artist that I thought the bit about Bryce being "under the weather" was pure genius.

 

Comic part 8:

 

[Dark]

I love how this next part of the comic came out:

 

[Dark]

Latest chapter uploaded!

 

Catch it here.

[Dark]

Only one more piece of the comic to be posted!

 

[Dark]

By the way, a bonus chapter has been uploaded in thanks for my breaking the 100-barrier in rep. Please accept my thanks.

 

If you liked the comic, drop by and let the artist know! She can be found here: http://yaoi.y-gallery.net/user/jefferystrider/

 

Here's the last part of the comic to be posted:

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Dark,

 

Love the comic - the art work is really very good. Lucky you to have friends who a) read your work and are creative enough to do that for you.

 

Okay, so as I said, I am a bit behind but since I told myself I was going to finish one story at a time until I catch up - this is next on my list

 

Am up to chapter 5 -yeah I am WAY behind. See my review for most comments, but I figured I could make one here and ask a follow up:

 

Comment - I have been accused by a certain beta reader who shall remain nameless [and blameless because she is right ] of kill the flow/pacing of a story I am working on with long blocks of Narration. You did that in this chapter with the background on Magistrates, Justiculars, City Watch, Monks, kids coming and leaving and coming back to Waylon's crossing. AND while it is informative, it was a bit much in one lump. So while the information might be needed, maybe break it up a bit? Perhaps put the bit about the Monks and how they went forth and brought back BEFORE Duncan shows up. Then after a bit of interaction between Duncan and Bryce, the part about Magistrate? IDK just a suggestion.

 

So what does Aure get from sex? I mean we see how happy Bryce is but what does an air elemental get from it?

 

Oh and I probably needed to ask this last chapter but I was busy, is an Earth Elemental more powerful than an Air one? And how does one kill an air elemental??

 

Okay hopefully get caught up today. If so you will be hearing from me a lot LOL

 

Andy

[Dark]

Love the comic - the art work is really very good. Lucky you to have friends who a) read your work and are creative enough to do that for you.

And to think the artist is still young, with lots of time to improve! In fact, she drew a couple other pictures for me. One is of sexy Aure. He's posted in my gallery.

 

 

Comment - I have been accused by a certain beta reader who shall remain nameless [and blameless because she is right ] of kill the flow/pacing of a story I am working on with long blocks of Narration. You did that in this chapter with the background on Magistrates, Justiculars, City Watch, Monks, kids coming and leaving and coming back to Waylon's crossing. AND while it is informative, it was a bit much in one lump. So while the information might be needed, maybe break it up a bit? Perhaps put the bit about the Monks and how they went forth and brought back BEFORE Duncan shows up. Then after a bit of interaction between Duncan and Bryce, the part about Magistrate? IDK just a suggestion.

I know. I think that's the only big block of text like that that I couldn't move or break up into more manageable chunks. I hate that it's there, but I couldn't find a better place for it ... and it is smaller than it was originally, if you can believe that. I kind of wince when I see it. I've thought about deleting it entirely, but it's information we need in order to understand Duncan and Jacen, and Waylon, to a certain extent. That's a section of the story that I simply had to tell myself to quit messing with and move on.

 

 

So what does Aure get from sex? I mean we see how happy Bryce is but what does an air elemental get from it?

Hey, hey, Aure enjoys sex, too! You have to use your imagination! (and a little science) Sound is a key factor.

 

 

Oh and I probably needed to ask this last chapter but I was busy, is an Earth Elemental more powerful than an Air one? And how does one kill an air elemental??

The relative strength of an air elemental is situational and depends on what you want him to do. You'll learn more about Mostyn later. Suffice it to say he's different from the rest of his kind. As is Aure, but for a different reason. When I think about Aure, I remember Data (from Star Trek the Next Generation). Data was a robot who wanted to be human. Aure is fascinated with humans and has studied them for a long, long time.

 

Lovely hearing from you, Andy! Hope you enjoy your day catching up!

[Dark]

Latest chapter is up! Another long one for you. Find it here.

 

Just so you know, I'm moving on Saturday to my new, temporary place. I'm going to lose internet -- not sure how long, though. Will post when I can. This is a crazy, crazy week for me.

 

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Latest chapter is up! Another long one for you. Find it here.

 

Just so you know, I'm moving on Saturday to my new, temporary place. I'm going to lose internet -- not sure how long, though. Will post when I can. This is a crazy, crazy week for me.

 

 

 

Well I am not quite up to the latest chapter but I did manage to get through chapter 7. I left a review but I figured questions were better left on the forum so I can argue with you when I don't like your answer.

 

Seven had me a tad confused, probably nothing reading more carefully and not on the Metro wouldn't cure but on the chance it won't let me ask - how old is Kynan - you said once he was still young, is he 18? That was my take from the chapter.

 

Are he and Alan romantically involved at this point - i.e. chapter 7? My take was Alan had a thing for Kynan, but they had never done or expressed any feeling for each other - but clearly Kynan like's him some Alan and Alan like's him some Kynan - especially after he told dad to F' off when told he couldn't see Kynan again. Now, all I'm asking is from what we know at the end of Chapter 7 if nothing is revealed until later, just leave it go.

 

Last - am I correct that Kynan is the Queen's bastard? Or has that only been hinted at not revealed? I mean if he were it's no wonder he doesn't want the Dark Prince.

 

Okay, nuff bugging you, back to work for me.

 

Andy

[Dark]

Well I am not quite up to the latest chapter but I did manage to get through chapter 7. I left a review but I figured questions were better left on the forum so I can argue with you when I don't like your answer.

 

Seven had me a tad confused, probably nothing reading more carefully and not on the Metro wouldn't cure but on the chance it won't let me ask - how old is Kynan - you said once he was still young, is he 18? That was my take from the chapter.

 

Are he and Alan romantically involved at this point - i.e. chapter 7? My take was Alan had a thing for Kynan, but they had never done or expressed any feeling for each other - but clearly Kynan like's him some Alan and Alan like's him some Kynan - especially after he told dad to F' off when told he couldn't see Kynan again. Now, all I'm asking is from what we know at the end of Chapter 7 if nothing is revealed until later, just leave it go.

 

Last - am I correct that Kynan is the Queen's bastard? Or has that only been hinted at not revealed? I mean if he were it's no wonder he doesn't want the Dark Prince.

 

Okay, nuff bugging you, back to work for me.

 

Andy

 

 

Hehe, argue all you want.

 

At this point, Alan and Kynan have been friends for 3ish years. They are not romantically involved, but they both have a crush on the other. Alan would definitely like more and Kynan has some issues to work through. In straight years, Kynan is about 50 years old. Remember, demons live for a long time and mature around 200 years of age. Physically, Kynan looks like a young man in his early twenties. Emotionally, he's younger than that. Kynan is one of those people who seems very mature in certain situations, and very immature in others.

 

Yes, Kynan is the Queen's bastard, but until recently, only he and his mother were aware of that fact. The only others who know are Kynan's foster parents, Karadur and Azil. We'll be meeting them later. If Kynan's parentage had been known, chances are he never would have survived until adulthood. Keeping him a secret and yet close to her is how the Queen has protected herself.

 

More shall be revealed as the story continues.

 

On that note, as an aside, our router died a few days short of when we had scheduled the end of our internet service at the old place. We have a different company at the new place, so it made no sense to pay the technicians to come and install a new one ... so I've been without internet (except at my workplace) since late Monday night. The new line is supposed to go active on the 5th. Today was moving day into my new (and temporary) home. It's been interesting, from what I hear, because I wasn't actually present when the movers arrived (I was at work). Thank God it's Friday!

 

Oh! And I posted a new chapter for you.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Hehe, argue all you want.

 

No arguments - this time

 

 

At this point, Alan and Kynan have been friends for 3ish years. They are not romantically involved, but they both have a crush on the other. Alan would definitely like more and Kynan has some issues to work through. In straight years, Kynan is about 50 years old. Remember, demons live for a long time and mature around 200 years of age. Physically, Kynan looks like a young man in his early twenties. Emotionally, he's younger than that. Kynan is one of those people who seems very mature in certain situations, and very immature in others.

Soo does this mean they will get together or are you teasing us?

 

 

On that note, as an aside, our router died a few days short of when we had scheduled the end of our internet service at the old place. We have a different company at the new place, so it made no sense to pay the technicians to come and install a new one ... so I've been without internet (except at my workplace) since late Monday night. The new line is supposed to go active on the 5th. Today was moving day into my new (and temporary) home. It's been interesting, from what I hear, because I wasn't actually present when the movers arrived (I was at work). Thank God it's Friday!

 

Sorry about all that. Why just temporary? Seems like it's gonna suck moving again soon.

Oh! And I posted a new chapter for you.

 

For me??? Awwww

 

Gonna go read now

[Dark]

Well, yes, it will suck to move again in a couple months. On the other hand, I hopefully won't have to re-pack stuff; it can just stay in the boxes until I get to where I'm going.

 

The short story is I have a roommate who bought a house. We had enough time at the old place to have a month-by-month lease, so ending that was easy. Instead of shopping for a new roommate or new apartment, which I really couldn't afford, my roommate offered to allow me to live with her still until I leave. She knew I was planning to leave the state this summer and that she was putting me in a tough spot. Overall, it seems to be working out.

 

Still nothing in the saga of my quest for internet. We apparently have to have a wireless thingie for the new place -- and it hasn't arrived yet. Better still, I'm heading to my parents' place in 5 more days for a job fair and vacation, so no internet there, either! I swear I'm going insane... :wacko:

[Dark]

This not having easy access to internet is aggravating. Still! New chapter has been uploaded: Chapter 13

 

The job fair Fri/Sat went well. There's one district that, should they offer me a job, I'll take in a heartbeat. We talked on Sat for about an hour and they were mentioning relocation costs and benefits. Plus, they said to talk to them first before signing a contract with anyone else. All in all, I'm quite happy.

 

It's beautiful and fabulously warm (for this time of year) here in Anchorage, Alaska. I'm going to enjoy the remainder of my time here, and hopefully relax a little!

[doesnt know jack]

Can I just say: I f**king LOVE your writing. And this story...wow. Brilliant. And beautiful. And really awesome.

 

Um...yeah, usually when I jump in to say something (very rarely) it tends to be a bit more...constructive. Or at least specific. So here goes:

 

Bryce smirked. "Told you." He stretched lithely, knowing how Aure loved to watch the play of his muscles. Elementals did not have muscles. "Want me to be all animalistic and stuff?"

"Is there a choice in the matter?" This was no time for jokes.

"Not really," Bryce answered. -Favorite part so far. I laughed out loud-which was kind of awkward because I was sitting alone at the computer-and had to reread it. Twice. :-) And the fact that it was completely obscure and totally an "inside joke" (as in, only the characters knew what was going on) made it all the more richer when you detailed out his attack.

Love it.

 

It's that whole showing-not-telling kind of thing that really makes me respect authors...and one talent that I think is so hard to find.

 

The chapter titles? AWESOME. It's such an amazing attention to detail. Like you warned, this story is dark. And tough. There's a ton of shit that's going on-characters, history, whole other world thing...it's easy to get bogged down. And I usually don't pay attention to the titles of chapters because, come on, really what is their relevance nine times out of ten-but you? They're so funny! And oddly appropriate. They add much needed relief to the tension you've so skillfully built up. My favorite(s): Elementals are Scary, Vampires Suck and Who is What Again?

 

The other thing I've enjoyed about them is how they add voice to the characters-or at least they do in my head. I think it was "Elementals are Scary" (title, not actual chapter) that clued me into the fact that Kynan really is younger than how he tries to come across. I don't know if any of that was intentional, but I hope it continues.

 

Oh and the whole Kynan being the Queen's son thing...the only place to actually confirm that suspicion (as of now) is here in the forum. However, the hints are super subtle, and totally there. Again, it's been just another way you've told the story so wonderfully without revealing anything outright.

 

I agree with some of the other posts...sections of the retelling history parts are a little long, but I'm kind of on the fence as to how much they get in the way. Sometimes a lag in story is what you have to sacrifice/put up with when you read fantasy. I think it goes with the genre (?). Then again, I really have no idea what I'm talking about. (Hence the screen name.) What makes me read the things like back history or "passages from ancient texts" is the payoff in the end-in other words, if it holds relative information, or is a constant in the story, I will not only tolerate them, but actually pay close attention. I hope events do reveal the importance of those passages...and if you'll allow, I'll go out on a limb and guess that they (the creation myth sections) probably have something to do with the prologue and Waylon. I'm dying to know who he is. :-) I thought Kynan was Waylon for two seconds and then Kynan went and got all young. Now I really have no idea...I'd say Bryce but that doesn't really add up...and for awhile I thought it was Duncan, but he's so clueless...then again, I might be totally off my rocker thinking Waylon is even the story. I tend to get these ideas in my head that send me off on these tangents that have no basis in reality what so ever....(It makes reading good clean fun, let me tell you. :-p)

 

Ahem. Back to what I enjoy about this story:

 

The voices. Again, that's another element I think is hard to pull off: writing unique voices for each character. Especially when

there are so many. But each one has it's own tone and feel. It's a beautiful thing when an author can pull off giving characters character without listing character traits. (In other words: see the whole showing not telling sentence at the beginning of this rant.)

 

One fact I'm not totally clear on and too lazy to go back and try to find: Does the prince know that Kynan is a half-demon? Is that why Kynan has to restrain himself so much? (Don't actually answer that second part...I have a feeling it will reveal itself. :-p)

 

And are Touched mixed with any race (i.e. demonic) or just those races of light? And how rare are they? I got a little confused about the uniqueness/importance of Duncan-is it because he's Touched? Or is it that his mixed ancestry is directly from the Ancients? I think I have to reread that part more carefully.

 

Other things I can't get enough of (specifically from this chapter, if I included all the others, THIS would turn into a novel...): The conflict within Kynan: He was a monster and he wept into Alan's neck and hair. (Seriously, BEAUTIFUL!)

Alan's unconditional and ultimate trust in Kynan's goodness: Alan smiled his lopsided smile, Kynan's profound relief making the expression even dearer to him." Can we do that again?" whispered Alan." Hell, no!" snapped Kynan, but he laughed anyway. "You crazy wolf -- you scared the f**king shit out of me!" (And their fondness for one another.)

The amazing way you build up tension (i.e. Kynan's dark broodiness) then ease it with something totally out of the blue but completely in character: The pup cocked his head slightly, one ear forward, one back. He stretched his nose towards Kynan and licked his ankle with a sticky tongue. "Augh!" exclaimed Kynan, yanking his foot away, and staring at Alan. "I cannot believe you just did that! That's so gross." (Again, I laughed.)

 

So, yeah, I could go on. And on. And on....but that would be awkward...or something. :-p So instead I'll end with this:

 

I'm so happy that you didn't drag out the relationships too long-it makes them part of the story as opposed to THE story-it's just nice. I LOVE the bond you've already created (and yes, I use BOND purposfully-it has something to do with Alan's soul almost being ripped out-right? Maybe???) between Alan and Kynan. But the connection between Bryce and Aure is pure writing gold. Made all the sweater by foreboding you dropped in chapter 12.

 

So that's all the review I'll do for now...I tend to not write these things because I get pretty excited and run the risk of sounding stalkerish...anywho...point of all of this is, I really enjoy your writing and look forward to seeing more! Thank you!

 

(Also, review or forum? Which one do you prefer?)

[Nephylim]

God I love this story. And you really really have to write more really soon. I have been reading back over it and I want it I want it

 

I have to admit that there have been times when i have found it hard to like Kynan. I have felt that he is a bit whiny... but then i think what the hell he has a right to be and the fact that I have been thinking those things is testament to the richness and reality of the writing. Kynan is really a dark and light character in that he is strong and proud and clever but he's weak and unsure and confused. Nice. Alan is just Alan and as for the rest... Yeah, Aure is my favourite and you know that you swine

[Dark]

Can I just say: I f**king LOVE your writing. And this story...wow. Brilliant. And beautiful. And really awesome.

Hehe. Thank you, and I mean that, too. I love the long, rambling review here. I'm undecided about reviews, but I love responding back to folks here in the forums. As I'm under time constraints here at the airport, lemme see if I can respond to all of your questions. I'll come back when next I have internet -- which, if the company can be trusted this time, should be Tuesday. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

 

 

The other thing I've enjoyed about them is how they add voice to the characters-or at least they do in my head. I think it was "Elementals are Scary" (title, not actual chapter) that clued me into the fact that Kynan really is younger than how he tries to come across. I don't know if any of that was intentional, but I hope it continues.

The titles are intentional, but I leave it up to the reader to decide whose 'voice' they're in. I enjoy picking them out, too. And, actually, Nephy gave me the idea that became the title: Elementals are Scary. She'd written a comment to me about that when she was beta-ing for me.

 

 

Oh and the whole Kynan being the Queen's son thing...the only place to actually confirm that suspicion (as of now) is here in the forum.

Actually, let me re-direct you to chapter 1. Kynan says specifically that he is the Queen's son and that it's a huge secret known only to himself and his mother. And, you'd assume, his father, but that's another story....

 

 

I agree with some of the other posts...sections of the retelling history parts are a little long, but I'm kind of on the fence as to how much they get in the way. Sometimes a lag in story is what you have to sacrifice/put up with when you read fantasy. I think it goes with the genre (?). Then again, I really have no idea what I'm talking about. (Hence the screen name.) What makes me read the things like back history or "passages from ancient texts" is the payoff in the end-in other words, if it holds relative information, or is a constant in the story, I will not only tolerate them, but actually pay close attention. I hope events do reveal the importance of those passages...and if you'll allow, I'll go out on a limb and guess that they (the creation myth sections) probably have something to do with the prologue and Waylon. I'm dying to know who he is. :-) I thought Kynan was Waylon for two seconds and then Kynan went and got all young. Now I really have no idea...I'd say Bryce but that doesn't really add up...and for awhile I thought it was Duncan, but he's so clueless...then again, I might be totally off my rocker thinking Waylon is even the story. I tend to get these ideas in my head that send me off on these tangents that have no basis in reality what so ever....(It makes reading good clean fun, let me tell you. :-p)

I'm on the fence, too. It depends on what I'm in the mood for. I think you actually find more of these long history-type passages in science fiction (which I read like a fiend), but they're usually about some kind of technological aspect. I will say that you have the right idea about why I'm using them in this story. I will also say that Waylon is not a secret identity of any of the characters we've met so far.

 

 

One fact I'm not totally clear on and too lazy to go back and try to find: Does the prince know that Kynan is a half-demon? Is that why Kynan has to restrain himself so much? (Don't actually answer that second part...I have a feeling it will reveal itself. :-p)

The short answer is yes. All demons are quite aware that Kynan is at least part demon as soon as they see his eyes, and that's one of the reasons he's taken such pains to hide them from Alan.

 

 

And are Touched mixed with any race (i.e. demonic) or just those races of light? And how rare are they? I got a little confused about the uniqueness/importance of Duncan-is it because he's Touched? Or is it that his mixed ancestry is directly from the Ancients?

'Touched' people can be of any race from the World of Light. They came about when angels (servants of God) bred with the world's inhabitants. Generally, though, only creatures with devoutly Good hearts were blessed by the angels. There are some legends about the liasons between angels and mortals. After the angels were all killed during the Demon War, the Touched became very quickly rare, because most of them died in the war, too. Duncan is quite unique, and that's all the more interesting because so much time has passed that no one even remembers (at least, the humans have forgotten) the significance of Duncan's birthright.

 

Thanks for the rambles; they've made my day! I'll -- hopefully -- talk again soon!