[Adam Phillips] Crosscurrents, Chapter 30

[db4530]

Hello all. I am a first-time commenter, although I have been reading Crosscurrents since JW originally suggested it many years ago.

After recently re-reading the story from the beginning, I have an observation that I would like to share. I welcome others' thoughts.

It seems to me that from the very beginning, Andy was surrounding himself with good, decent people. I have no doubt that this was not by accident. Andy was, from the very earliest chapters, generally a good guy who had his head on his shoulders about most things--he did great in school, excelled at sports, held down after-school and summer jobs, maintained good relationships with the adults in his life, etc. For someone to accomplish these things, they almost necessarily surround themselves to a large degree with other high-achieving individuals.

However, as we have gained a better understanding of how Andy's mind works, I have begun to think that Andy's subconscious recognized the bisexuality "monster" a lot earlier than when Andy first started noticing guys (which I think happened sometime during Andy's freshman year of high school or the summer thereafter). In addition, I think that Andy was drawn to certain people in his life because his subconscious knew that they would accept him for who he was, and help him accept himself, when the time came.

The most striking examples of this acceptance are the obvious ones--Angie and Matt. However, there are many other examples of characters in the story that were ready, willing and able to accept and assist Andy as he followed the road from self-discovery to self-acceptance. These include Andy's family (particularly his Dad and Danny), but also less prominent characters like Cole. As a matter of fact, the only two people in the entire story who are described as having a real problem with Andy's bisexuality are Shane and Andy--and Andy helped Shane get over it pretty quickly.

I'll get to the point...

I think that Andy's subconscious recognized Andy (or at least his internalized homophobia) as a "monster" from which Andy would one day need protection. In preparation for the day when Andy would not be able to deny his true self, and understanding that Andy would not immediately be able to accept himself for who he truly is, his subconscious set about giving Andy the support structure that he would one day need to overcome his self-hatred.

Prior to coming to the realization described above, I often thought to myself how beautiful and lucky it was that Andy had such a supportive group of people around him. Matt, Angie, his family, his teammates (both high school and college), Jake, and pretty much everyone else in Crosscurrents (including Chris) are all there to consistently remind Andy that he is ok being who he is, his reaction to Matt's expression of love was wrong, and that Matt would still love Andy when he is ready to accept that love.

Given that Crosscurrents takes place in a conservative place like Texas during the 1990s, I believe it took more than luck for Andy to end up in a place where he had so many supporters and so few detractors. Chapters 27 - 30 seemed to be about Andy's realization that his mind was so busy fighting "monsters" that he was, in reality, harming himself. However, if my observation is correct, long before Andy turned Matt into a "monster," Andy's subconscious allowed him to establish the support system he would one day need to overcome his fear of the "monsters" he perceived in Matt (and even more deeply in himself) and finally get to the "home" he described at the very end of Chapter 30.

* * *

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading. I am looking forward to the next chapter(s). I can't wait to see what happens next.

Edited May 4, 2011 by db4530

[Adam Phillips]

Hello all. I am a first-time commenter, although I have been reading Crosscurrents since JW originally suggested it many years ago.

 

After recently re-reading the story from the beginning, I have an observation that I would like to share. I welcome others' thoughts.

 

It seems to me that from the very beginning, Andy was surrounding himself with good, decent people....

 

Given that Crosscurrents takes place in a conservative place like Texas during the 1990s, I believe it took more than luck for Andy to end up in a place where he had so many supporters and so few detractors. Chapters 27 - 30 seemed to be about Andy's realization that his mind was so busy fighting "monsters" that he was, in reality, harming himself. However, if my observation is correct, long before Andy turned Matt into a "monster," Andy's subconscious allowed him to establish the support system he would one day need to overcome his fear of the "monsters" he perceived in Matt (and even more deeply in himself) and finally get to the "home" he described at the very end of Chapter 30.

 

* * *

That's an intriguing post. Thanks. You may be on to something.

 

I should say that I'm currently computerless. My old one fried, and although I have a new one, we're having the interior of the house painted, and nothing we own is accessible right now! Well, it's not that extreme, but my computer's under plastic covers right now.

 

I'll get back on things as soon as this damn project is finished. Thanks for your patience.

[MarkSen]

I love this story. It's engaging and both heartwarming and heartbreaking at different points.

 

I think I understand Andy's and Matt's complicated obviously-more-than-friends relationship. It's actually how I imagined Biblical David and Johnathan: they both end up getting married to women, but they love each other so damn much, so much so that their love can't simply be expressed in ... conventional terms. That's what I think, anyway.

[db4530]

I love this story. It's engaging and both heartwarming and heartbreaking at different points.

 

I think I understand Andy's and Matt's complicated obviously-more-than-friends relationship. It's actually how I imagined Biblical David and Johnathan: they both end up getting married to women, but they love each other so damn much, so much so that their love can't simply be expressed in ... conventional terms. That's what I think, anyway.

 

MarkSen,

 

That's a very interesting comparison. Change the David and Jonathan story to modern times and one can easily imagine a lot of similarities to Andy and Matt. Although based on Adam's previous statements here in the forums, it seems that Matt and Andy's fates should have a happier ending. For others who may be interested, there is a good summary of the David and Jonathan story on Wikipedia. I hadn't really focused on the story of David and Jonathan since my days in religious school--but MarkSen seems to be right on. Thanks for jogging my memory.

 

db

[db4530]

I just realized something interesting. We know that Andy and Matt's first beach encounter happened in September, 1998. That means they graduated in 1999. Two year later, in 2001, they would have just finished their sophomore year. Since the beach weekend in Chapter 30 took place the weekend before Memorial Day after their sophomore year of college, that would have been rougly around May 20, 2001, or so. We just passed the 10th anniversary of their reconnection and the rekindling of their friendship. Happy 10th Anniversary Matt and Andy! I can't wait to learn how the last decade has gone for the two of you.

Edited May 26, 2011 by db4530

[methodwriter85]

See how good you are, Adam? People treat Matt and Andy like they're real guys. That's the mark of a good writer. You've been so good that Andy Sharpe has become as real to us as any friend we have in real life.

 

DB, you're actually off by a year. The events of chapter 15 take place around Labor Day Weekend, 1997. I guessed the time frame of the story as being roughly the summer of 1997, because Andy mentions taking his girlfriend and little sister to see Austin Powers.They graduated high school in 1998. I remember that, because I thought it was so cool that I graduated from 5th grade at the same time they graduated from high school. Andy and Matt are seven years ahead of me. Here's something I'm kinda excited about- they'll be having their 15th high school reunion in just two years! Can you believe it? Pretty cool, right?

 

The reconcilliation was in May of 2000, so it was eleven years ago.

 

Whenever I read historical fiction, I kinda think about where I was at the time the story was taking place. In May of 2000, I was finishing up 7th grade, and we were visiting the Baltimore Aquarium at Inner Harbour. I thought that place was so cool, especially when I went up to see the World Trade Center.

 

Where were you guys in May of 2000?

[db4530]

DB, you're actually off by a year. The events of chapter 15 take place around Labor Day Weekend, 1997. I guessed the time frame of the story as being roughly the summer of 1997... The reconcilliation was in May of 2000, so it was eleven years ago.

 

I stand corrected. Thanks.

 

Where were you guys in May of 2000?

 

 

I had just started a summer internship after my second year of law school. It was only 11 years ago. In some ways it feels like a million years ago. In other ways, it feels like yesterday.

 

For all those in the U.S., have a great holiday weekend!

 

db

Edited May 27, 2011 by db4530

[littlebuddy]

I've read this chapter a good 3 times, each time getting a little more than the time before. Can't put into words how much I loved this particular chapter only that after I read it the first time, I breathed, "FINALLY!"

 

lb.