Expectations...

[Dark Princess]

What's worse... having expectations that are too high, or having no expectations at all?

[rustle]

Better to go through life with none. Aside from the laws of physics, they usually let me down.

 

 

[evergreen]

Having expectations that are too high for sure.

Aim high but don't expect high.

[K.C.]

I think we need goals to work towards, but you need to be realistic of your expectations.

 

We all have things to strive for, to try to reach and yes its good for the soul to fall every once in a while along the way. It reminds us that we are human.

[Fishwings]

Expectation and disappointment come hand in hand.

[Cyhort]

High for sure. I like to go through my life expecting as little as possible. Minimizes disappointment and when something sort of ok happens I can get all excited about it.

[Arpeggio]

No expectations at all, in my opinion. Personally, I'm not happy at all, unless I'm accomplishing something. I'm not saying high expectations are awesome, but what I think is worse between the two.

Edited June 20, 2011 by Arpeggio

[sucre]

I guess it depends on whether it's expectations with yourself or others. I have to go with having no expectations at all. Yeah, I tend to set high expectations for myself and others, which, depending on the situation, can either be my best quality or my worst flaw. In my opinion, it's quite possible to teach oneself to be realistic. I really don't know how I'd live though if I was cynical all the time or not trying to be good at anything.

[Curti]

I think overall having too high of expectations is usually more damaging. However, me personally, I tend to become more depressed and dangerous or damaging when I don't have any expectations then when I fail to meet too high of expectations. So for me I'd rather place incredibly high expectations then not have any at all.

[TetRefine]

Definitely too high of an expectation. If you have no expectation at all, you can't really be mad or upset when you don't accomplish anything. If you have too high of an expectation and fail, well, it sucks big big time.

[Raijen]

This question makes me think of the idea of "attachment to illusions" in some Eastern philosophies. Basically, when you set an expectation, the mind becomes "attached" to that idea and wants reality to conform to the idea.

 

Sadly (in my case at least), reality rarely is what I want it to be. Thankfully, it's often much better than I could have imagined. Because of this, I think that having ANY expectation is a bad thing, regardless of how high or low it is.

 

However... It is human to have ideals and expectations. It is the path of wisdom that allows us the opportunities to accept the world for what it is and let go of our expectations. Once we make peace with reality, moving through it becomes much easier.

[Nephylim]

Depends how you define expectations. If you are talking about expectations in yourself and the way you act and react then yeah, I reckon it is a good thing to have expectations because it is something you have some control over. You can expect yourself to be strong, or brave, or honest, or truthful or whatever you think you are or should be.

 

But I think it is silly to have too many expectations about your life, people and the world. How can you have expectations for something you can't control? You can expect rain tomorrow but it's as likely to rain as not. You can expect people to behave in a reasonable fashion when the chances are they won't. You can expect to live for another day but that doesnt mean you will. You can expect your friends to be honest with you and support you but there are all sorts of reasons good and bad why they won;t always be able to.

 

I think that you can have hopes and dreams and wishes and desires and you can and should reach for the stars but you can't expect to touch them

[Former Member]

I usually prepare for things not to go the way I want them to go. Then when things do go wrong I'm not as disappointed as I would be if I was expecting it to go right. Then when things do go rght, all the better.

[Cailen]

This reminds me of work "Expect that everything has gone wrong, and that there is not a darn thing you can do about it"

 

so in this case both!

[intune]

If you live in the present then you don't have to worry about either? lol I guess I would be a let things just happen kind of person. I'm not sure I ever have expectations for things, I'm just happy when something good happens. If something bad happens I just try to deal with it quickly and move on.

[John Galaor]

High for sure. I like to go through my life expecting as little as possible. Minimizes disappointment and when something sort of ok happens I can get all excited about it.

 

There is the possibility to get some immunization to disappointments. To achieve a a difficult career in science, engineering, or even in becoming a writer, we need to develop an immunization with disappointments. Life is full of disappointments, and we have continue living.

John Galaor