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Posted

The only one that drives me crazy is: "well, I'll say..." I hear it all the time out here in the country.

Posted

How about (and I just read these): "special spot" or, "hot spot" :rolleyes:

 

My mom raises dogs, and I'll never associate "hot spot" as anything other than a big, nasty sore. I could not believe my eyes when I saw that written as something supposedly sexy. Yuck! :wacko:

 

This. And it always generates electricity! I mean how the pages are not standing up on their own with static, I'll never understand :lmao:

 

than / then ... really gets on my lactatorials

 

could care less ... that also grates, but I've always just written it off as an American idiom ... or is it not? If it's an idiom we just need to get over it :)

 

pucker ... its not even anatomically correct. If I find the pucker that invented that one ... :D (admits to having used it, though :( )

 

chute ... offs, lets lose the romance here, eh?!

 

man pussy ... ehm, naw ... any guy who's ever had his mouth on both a girl and a man pussy is gonna understand that the epithet doesn't work

 

cum / precum ... how dirtyfying is this spelling? What's wrong with come? It's like adoloscent attempts at being grown up to 17 in the schoolyard.

 

nectar ... nope, that's just giving it graces it doesn't have, and sure as hell doesn't need. It's just a nice shiny cleaning fluid! Oh, alright, that's too clinical, but I'd rather not get caught up in a fight with a feckin bumble bee for whats emerging from his dick

 

Penis ... conversely, here ... I really like the use of penis. I used to think it very clinical, but it's not really.

 

But my all time pet hates are two words that make me feel sick, like dirty bloody socks ... homosexual and lesbian. I know, I know, nonsensical, but they make me shudder. And queer ain't far behind.

 

Taking all of this together, I vote that we all bow down to Andy's methods of sex talk ;)

Posted

It's not a phrase, but: Enjoy. It may be the result of too much time in the hospitality industry, but I can no longer find any appropriate use for this word.

Posted

I agree with you on the whole roles thing. They're BOTH MEN! You know that's the whole point of being gay. It's not one guy and girl with male bits. TWO MEN!! What also gets me is how some women try to feminize the "bottom" in the relationship. It's like they're trying to lie to themselves. Even though he's got a diddly-doo (don't you love my censorship? is writing genital names allowed? Posted Image) doesn't mean it's a gay relationship. There HAS to be a girl in there. <---not my beliefs. I also hate really weird names for genitals, kind of like I just showed you a while ago. You can use it like this for instance:

His body trembled like a leaf in a windstorm, he knew that he couldn't hold back anymore. His diddly-doo was too full. Posted Image

 

I'll add more later.

  • Like 4
  • 1 month later...
Posted

Another one that annoys me is when a writer calls the prostate the "sweet spot". It just grates on me and it's pretty much only female authors that do it. I don't think I've ever seen a book or story written by a guy where any of the characters called it the sweet spot. It just comes off to me as a female trying really hard to sound like a gay guy and failing miserably.

 

 

Never read a guy write it? Have you seen Nifty? lol. There are so many sweet spots in play I keep getting the impression these people are taking Saccharin as a suppository.

 

 

Oh, and going in the other way from euphamisms, clinical language is annoying as well. It just...isn't sexy and very rarely has any nice imagery to it.

 

"He wrapped his digits around the other man's testicles and began to massage..."

 

Martin

Posted

 

His body trembled like a leaf in a windstorm, he knew that he couldn't hold back anymore. His diddly-doo was too full. Posted Image

 

I'll add more later.

 

It's enough to make me snort coffee

  • Like 1
Posted

 

His body trembled like a leaf in a windstorm, he knew that he couldn't hold back anymore. His diddly-doo was too full. Posted Image

 

I'll add more later.

 

Okay I nearly choked to death on a glass of water while reading that. You are so bad but god help me if I read that, I'd lose it.

  • Like 1
Posted

"Welcome to your prostate."

 

If you've been lucky enough to avoid this one you have my burning envy, if you haven't then you know the scene.

 

The characters have got the foreplay out of the way, the nervous bottom has just explained that he's never had sex with a man before, and the top very gently slides a finger in. 'It feels strange, but not painful' the bottom always sodding thinks, but then oh! what is that feeling! Wide eyed, he asks his lover who explains with the aforementioned (bizarrely common) bit of dialogue.

 

Both clunky and deeply unfortunate as, well...

 

Welcome to your prostate, we got fun and games!

  • Like 1
Posted

"Boy juice", "Man juice" or any use of the word 'juice' during a sex scene that doesn't involve the characters actually pouring juice on each other and licking it off.

Posted

Should we collect all these phrases together and build up a short story, what do you say guys?

 

One of my least favourites is "in the aftermath". Lucky me, it is the theme of the winter anthos XD How the heck am I gonna be able to invent a story for that when all I can think of is Adam Lambert's song. Hmm... maybe I'll write a fan fic then :P

Posted

"Welcome to your prostate."

 

If you've been lucky enough to avoid this one you have my burning envy, if you haven't then you know the scene.

 

The characters have got the foreplay out of the way, the nervous bottom has just explained that he's never had sex with a man before, and the top very gently slides a finger in. 'It feels strange, but not painful' the bottom always sodding thinks, but then oh! what is that feeling! Wide eyed, he asks his lover who explains with the aforementioned (bizarrely common) bit of dialogue.

 

Both clunky and deeply unfortunate as, well...

 

Welcome to your prostate, we got fun and games!

 

I wholeheartedly agree! With all the sex ed in schools these days, who doesn't know where their prostate is? And, come on! Any young person interested in sex is going to do all the research they can -- what used to be magazines is now abundant online.

 

That's right on up there with two virgins who have wonderful, orgasmic sex the very first time. Please! Posted Image I remember during my first time we were so clumsy and nervous we ended up laughing because he couldn't get it in! We both felt like incompetent dorks, and that became the source of all the fun we had later.

 

Should we collect all these phrases together and build up a short story, what do you say guys?

 

One of my least favourites is "in the aftermath". Lucky me, it is the theme of the winter anthos XD How the heck am I gonna be able to invent a story for that when all I can think of is Adam Lambert's song. Hmm... maybe I'll write a fan fic then Posted Image

 

That's a great idea, Maria! We could even have an informal contest to see who could write the worst cliche story! :lol:

 

What do you guys think? Contest?

Posted

I wholeheartedly agree! With all the sex ed in schools these days, who doesn't know where their prostate is? And, come on! Any young person interested in sex is going to do all the research they can -- what used to be magazines is now abundant online.

 

That's right on up there with two virgins who have wonderful, orgasmic sex the very first time. Please! Posted Image I remember during my first time we were so clumsy and nervous we ended up laughing because he couldn't get it in! We both felt like incompetent dorks, and that became the source of all the fun we had later.

 

That is a ridiculously cute anecdote and you should feel ridiculously cute.

 

That's a great idea, Maria! We could even have an informal contest to see who could write the worst cliche story! Posted Image

 

What do you guys think? Contest?

 

The real challenge would be making a decent story out of this mess. Posted Image

Posted

 

That's a great idea, Maria! We could even have an informal contest to see who could write the worst cliche story! Posted Image

 

What do you guys think? Contest?

 

YES!!!! I am up for a little fun and hanky panky with the clishe story "contest" Lets do it!!!! :D Anyone else?

Posted

Reading or hearing "anyways" irritates me. I know that "anyways" is listed in the dictionary as an informal or dialect form of "anyway". But it doesn't sound right to me.

 

Colin B)

Posted

Lately with me, its the word just. And I find me using it that annoys the heck out of me. When I make a phone call, I always want to say its 'just' Shelly calling. Like its not important that its me. So I am conscioulsy trying not to say it. Or using just in a sentence. "Its just wonderful" It doesnt need to be there does it. So I just dont use it if I can help it. Posted Image

Posted

Didn't happen in a story... I had a client today at gym. She kept saying ALL the time "just niin" which is "Oh, that's right" in English. GOD I wanted to strangle her.

Posted (edited)

How about (and I just read these): "special spot" or, "hot spot" Posted Image

 

My mom raises dogs, and I'll never associate "hot spot" as anything other than a big, nasty sore. I could not believe my eyes when I saw that written as something supposedly sexy. Yuck! Posted Image

Well, as long as she doesn't rub their hot spots in public! Posted Image

 

---

 

Not a phrase, but the word 'moist' always just sounds disgusting to me. Moist. Bleurgh.

 

"Lucinda sensuously licked her lips and closed them around the slice of cake she held in her hand. It was chocolatey and moist, like her knickers."

 

>.<

Edited by Syniq
Posted

Spongy, Moist, and man-pussy

 

Thoses words just make me cringe everytime!

Aaagh! You just reminded me about 'mangina' >.<
Posted (edited)

cum / precum ... how dirtyfying is this spelling? What's wrong with come? It's like adoloscent attempts at being grown up to 17 in the schoolyard.

For me it's the reverse. I can't stand seeing "come" in place of "cum" because I don't want to see a word that means "to move toward something" be synonymous with ejaculation. That drove me NUTS with my last boyfriend and just made texts from him feel awkward.

 

"Lucinda sensuously licked her lips and closed them around the slice of cake she held in her hand. It was chocolatey and moist, like her knickers."

So she's just getting off her period? ...why did I think that right off... Edited by DragonMando
  • Like 1
Posted

His body trembled like a leaf in a windstorm, he knew that he couldn't hold back anymore. His diddly-doo was too full. Posted Image

 

I'll add more later.

Oh, maaaan, now I've got to get lemonade out of my nose. D:

 

Cia reminded me about this one, which I think I read in Love Storm (look it up on Amazon. It's probably the worst chick lit ever written), earlier:

 

"She shivered as she felt the folds of her skirt press against the folds of her sweet, moist gash."

 

>.<

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