Depression

[hh5]

Yeah, I has the scared little boy in me too.

But, regular real hugs goes a long way as well as doing things together.

I guess we need a group home for us.

 

Its good to hear that you come a long way in opening up.

 

Harold, we are helping each other here. This is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't know how free I would feel to be myself in person. I'm still that scared little boy inside.

 

[JOeKEool]

I'm feeling happy today, but restless. I've not got anything much constructive to do, and it's raining outside.

 

Sounds like a day to curl up with a good book.

[Mark92]

I have snow today

It's a good foot deep and looks beautiful on the trees.

Max is a full on dope who tries to make tunnels underneath it, snorting it out as he goes.

An extra chore of clearing the paths we use.

Its snuggly warm by the aga and the open fire in the living room is blazing. Warm bread and old spot bacon, perfect, not fogetting the mud coffee of course.

As far as hugs go, I've had the odd one from Lukey and Baz, more of an experiment as to what a hug feels like. But they are not close to me so I didnt feel anything.

I used to beg mum for a hug, she saw it as me being pervy Even from being little she used to say I was sinful for wanting a hug.

Anyways not dwelling there today.

I think we are all seeing now that one helpful thing is distraction.

How many of you think the weather plays a part?

Hugs to all

[acht-acht]

The weather play s a big part, Mark! In winter it get´s dark much too early for me when I´m on my "bohemian" schedule - get up at 10 in the morning, laze about till noon, clean the house a little, start working at 2 p.m. ... and at 4 p.m. it start´s to get dark. You´re definitely seeing more of the day when you have chores to do at 5 in the morning! In summer vacations I´m up at seven, ready to start a day of vacationing to the max going swimming, visiting castles and cathedrals or whatever ... Snow´s great though, but over here it´s just ice cold, my fingers and lips will crack as soon as I go outside, bah. The kids have their sleighs at the ready, but no snow yet.

This special, cold winter sun is shining, and it makes me see every speck of dust in the house! Want to clean the windows, but it seems a waste of time, since new windows are coming on thursday.

[acht-acht]

Harold, I don´t know if it would be such a good idea for me to meet Mark in person, for example: I talk too loud and gesticulate, throwing my arms around, I´d probably give him a scare LOL.

Another thing is that I´ve always found it to be helpful to have places where you can try a "new you" on for size, so to say - you have a community like here where you can find support, but can still draw back when you feel the need, and nobody will get huffy. When you meet people in person you enter kind of a "social contract" some might not be ready for.

[acht-acht]

Hugs: Another good thing about my family is, most of them are pretty huggy, so you can borrow some of mine:

My Dad always wants a bear hug first, then he takes your head in both hands and squeezes a little, then he´ll pet and stroke your hair till it´s all nice and flat (when you just spent ages in front of the mirror to fluff it up or part it just the right way).

 

My mom´s pretty soft and squishy, and a lot of that, so you can burrow inside her like a big old featherbead. Classic mom stuff.

 

My little brother is a tall hairy giant who gives monster hugs and can carry you around upside down. But when he hugs me I still can feel the clingy little boy who used to look up to me.

 

My sister and I give responsible, supportive, take-care-of-things-hugs, very grown-up.

 

The kids just wind and twist around you all trustful, and will sometimes box you in the stomach just because they can´t contain their love -LOL

 

We also had hugghish grandparents, but they´re dead now.

 

If you want a non-family hug, turn to my boyfriend. He´s good at "lad" hugs that are more like tussles, but he´s also the master of soft caresses and sort of "femmy" cuddles ... he always finds a way to be nearer still, even if he has to stick his nose in my ear *snort*

 

I know remote hugs aren´t the real thing, but if you like - take your pick.

 

I guess I´m in a good mood today or I wouldn´t remember all the nice stuff instead of the times we were at each other´s throats!

[acht-acht]

I´m hogging this thread. Sorry!

[Daisy]

Hugs aren't really my family. My mum gives them, and did when we were younger. But not really anymore.

And my dad, well of course they divorced when I was 12 - so we weren't living with him all that much. But he was not a touchy-feeley person. I remember though when he started. I was 18? or maybe younger not sure and had visited his place and as I was leaving - or maybe it was about an issue, can't remember he went out of his way to give one and a kiss on my cheek. All awkward . I am still pretty sure it was to do with his girlfriend and later wife and the way she was with her sons. And he suddenly had realised he didnt, or she'd told him.

Either way he always tries now when we leave.

 

I do like snuggling though .

[acht-acht]

Hugs aren't really my family. My mum gives them, and did when we were younger. But not really anymore.

And my dad, well of course they divorced when I was 12 - so we weren't living with him all that much. But he was not a touchy-feeley person. I remember though when he started. I was 18? or maybe younger not sure and had visited his place and as I was leaving - or maybe it was about an issue, can't remember he went out of his way to give one and a kiss on my cheek. All awkward . I am still pretty sure it was to do with his girlfriend and later wife and the way she was with her sons. And he suddenly had realised he didnt, or she'd told him.

Either way he always tries now when we leave.

 

I do like snuggling though .

 

LOL - at least he tries. I think the awkward hugs by non-huggy people have their own charm.

[JOeKEool]

Hey all. I was here at 3Am.Did not see anyone. Must be your local time.

Mark,I wondered if you got snow. I looked at wiki and Googled N Yorkshire.Nice country.Nevada,s open like that,but not colorful.Just earth-tones.

We should have snow. Dry as hell out here. Odd year.

I have to force a hug from my family.They are better but not comfy with hugging.DEF a change in weather is a good distraction. Can't have same-ol-same-ol and not get bored.No. Europe, tho' is getting hammered. 37belowF=damn cold.

 

Clara, I hate how it gets dark so early. It gets dark at five PM and they end D/LSavings time and make it dark at 4. Always seemed backwards to me

Glad you get hugs.I want to hug everyone when I'm feeling good.When I get low I shy away. Get em while ya can.HUG HUG HUG

 

Celes,hi. It's cool that your Dad is trying. It will get more relaxed and natural in time. My Dad seems to kind of like it now. Clara, your right those clumsy ones are good too.

 

Hey Marky,I saw the poem in the prompts.NIce one.Yogi and Boo Boo. Yep I can see that. Oh, and don't stop hugging Lukey and Baz. It might be just what they need to make their day.

 

Celes,I like snuggling too.Get to with my grandkids. Not with Sig.- Other. Someday.!! Oh, and I hug my son all the time now. That's new.

.

[Bumblebee]

I don't like being hugged, it always feels out of some sort of sympathy.

[JOeKEool]

Celes,thanks for the like.

Hi Bee. I give very good heart-felt hugs. HuuuG. See. Not so bad.

 

Anyone heard from Roan? Is he OK?

[Zolia Lily]

LOL Bee... some of us just like to hug other people! Me and my friends hug to say 'hello', 'goodbye', 'thanks', and 'i love you'. It's an affection thing for us. Also can be comforting. I'll hug you when i see you

[acht-acht]

Bee - hugs are tricky. I very free with hugs nowadays, but usually with people I´m in a "hugging relation" with. I never just attack people with hugs, not even children (or especially not children, I usually wait for them to come and get their hug). When I was youger I was appalled when friends of mine had been in America for some time and came back as serial huggers! And left-right-kissers!

In puberty and as a young grown-up I hated hugging ... maybe because it was more important for me to feel like a separate, independent person, it felt like every bit of idividuality and me-ness was sooo hard-fought for and hugging kind of took away from that. Like another person wanted to suck me in or something.

My oldest nephew is 17 now and I usually don´t hug him without warning - he hugged me a while ago after trying to teach me to play Grand Theft Auto, that startled me. (I think he was enthusiastic because I wrecked a Million cars about a millisecond after starting the game.)

 

And I hate it when I get nothing but a nice friendly hug from someone I´d rather have hot sex with. Damn!

[Bumblebee]

 

 

^ thats what I say when someone gives me a hug for a hello... either that or an f off

 

 

When I have time to sleep I don't feel as depressed until something reminds me of how useless I normally feel.

[JOeKEool]

Please give me any available hugs. Any time. Awkward. Clumsy. Pity. Sympathy. Hello. Good bye. Anything.

 

I find it odd , the people we should most feel comfortable with in a hug are often the most awkward.

The casual, friendly ones are often the most enjoyable and just easy It does touch the deeper emotions with family..

[Zolia Lily]

Do you not normally get enough sleep, Bee? I always find that really effects my mood. That's kind of the best and worst part of having a full time job: I can plan to sleep the same every night, so theoretically my sleep pattern should be better..... but i miss staying up late writing, and if i do a little then there's no chance to catch up on sleep for a few days ...

[Bumblebee]

Yea I get enough sleep.. but my work is tiring anyways, and I get a bit depressed when I'm tired.. and angry and annoyed and snappy

[Mark92]

Hey folks so sorry for the abscence

I have about a foot of snow, and doing the chores is far too tiring. It actually snowed a few days ago, but it isnt moving and turning to ice and with more snow due....well sheesh lol.

So what do we have so far? Hmmm weather and sleep have different effects on our moods. And we now know talking is certainly good

I discovered another new emotion the other day "Apathy".

For a few days now I have come in from chores and done nothing. There are two ways this has manifested. Firstly my loves, cooking, drumming, writing. I have done none of those for three days.

I did do a little drumming yesterday to cheer me up, but I forced myself to do it. I have lesson downloads by a man called Cobus and there are three songs I'm trying to get really good at.

The second thing is I cant be bothered. Talking to people or answering emails, even important ones. I just puish aside telling Baz, " I cant be arsed".

Not sure how to deal with this yet.

Hugs to all and a huge thank you for keeping this going

[comicfan]

Well there are a few things being discussed so I will pipe in with a few answers of my own.

 

Depression due to the season - I am one that battles the winter season often. I don't do well with the lack of light and all. I find I need to do things to bring me up. For me a way to raise my serotonin level is by cooking, especially dark chocolate things. Between the cooking and the eating I feel better. It also helps to raise my mood by having scented candles around. The scents can help me feel better and I don't look for things that are overly strong. I just like a subtle scent in the air.

 

Hugs. I can't claim I come from a big hugging family. My mother was one but the rest of my family is not. So I am the sort that revels in a good hug from someone I know, but otherwise you will find I offer a hand shake. However it is that human connection that makes me feel better whether from a hug or handshake. It allows you to feel as though you are part of something and reminds you people care.

Edited February 9, 2012 by comicfan

[Bumblebee]

I'm feeling depressed because I dont feel good enough about myself, and all I ever wanted was to be normal, and no knowing that my brain has plotted against me and is designed so that I can never be like everyone else makes me feel like shit. Its because of that I dont feel like I should have friends.. I only have 2 close friends and I may have just ruined one of them, oh and suprise suprise they are both people who I've met online, so theres no one I'm close to in real life.

[Mark92]

Hey Comic Thanks for dropping by

I actually love the winter its-12 here this morning. So everything is white white.

 

Bee, true friends dont go when the going gets tough. We all hurt for different reasons. Its at those times we sometimes lash out. Well true real friends are there for just that reason. Regardless of how they are treated.

 

How about the morning routine? Do you all wake up UGGHH! and go away morning? Or like me, and spring out of bed exactly the same time every single day?

[JOeKEool]

Hi Everyone. Nice to see you here,Comic. I have not been here for days and honestly don't know where the time is going. I have been busy writing and editing. It must be taking more time than usual. And the kids take precedent.

My youngest guy turned 10 on Thursday. !!!Big party this PM.

 

Hi Bee. I love you and I AM your friend. And I hurt for you.I do.And I care.

 

Hi Mark. Drummer huh? I looked at Corbus the other day. Looks like a large operation he's got going. I think you will do well.

A few days in a slump is OK I think.You do a little each day till it becomes routine again. And masterbate often.Rinse and repeat.

Hi Comic. I like candles,too. I have a pumpkin pie scent. I work nights and get little sun. I do better when I have the kids.Took 10 year old for driving lesson today. What fun.

Mark. I like to get right up but take my time getting going if I can. Have coffee. Check email. Phone calls. Etc. Then I go get the kids at school.

My time varies. I never get up at the same time every day. I would function better on a regular routine like that.

I am off to work. Cheers.

[Mark92]

Hey all

My mood is up and down like a yo-yo, apathy is turning into lethargy. Are they the same thing? I dunno. The point is I dont want to do anything.

My chores are done on auto-pilot and today, Valentines day the lads let me lay in. Thank you lads

The only thing I look forward to each day, is the time I spend with Stuby. I know others need my time too. But with this mood laying heavy on my shoulders. It takes second place.

My chores done, Stuby at Uni, what do I do? I play stupid games. I cant be bothered to read, write or do anything else.

Anyways Send me an email or PM if you need an ear. Its still on offer.

Be well folks Marky

[JOeKEool]

Hi Mark,

Sorry you're feeling down. Maybe it's the weather? Or just this time of year? I think you need to keep a little busy. Even just a few minutes of drumming or reading. Like Wayne said, cook something you really like. Indulge yourself a little. Don't just give in to the mood.

There is the reverse approach too. If you lay around and do nothing, eventually you get fed up and HAVE to get up and do something.

Do something nice for Baz and Luke. That should come back to you in a good way. I don't pretend to have the answers. Just know I care and I'm thinking of you.

All my love,hugs,cuddles,

Joe