Paternity

[BeysJoshersLepton V2]

JP was excellent as always, you really did touch on all the core issues. As for Robbie it takes alot to annoy me but he's just being vacuous for the sake of it now in regards to Will. How a man who manages a company can have such a massive blind spot on his radar is beyond me. Wills new found tolerance for him is nothing short of astounding.

[methodwriter85]

Except that, even if it never happens again to JJ, it already has. So the rule ticket has still been punched.

 

As to it never happening again..well, everyone is different, but I didn't avoid older guys. Eventually, anyways. At first, I could barely stay in the same room as guys that reminded me too strongly, to everyone's consternation. Eventually, that eased, and the triggers are hardly ever at all. And when they do, I can deal.

 

I don't count getting raped as having sex. I still see JJ as a virgin, because what happened to him I do not count as him losing his virginity.

 

But you're right...I think by his 20's, JJ could probably get to the point where he's okay with getting with older people. I'm just not seeing it when he's still a teenager. I can't see him taking on Will's modus operandi of wanting guys in their 20's while ignoring guys his own age. I think JJ's going to have this need to forge connections with people his age, partly because of the rape and partly because he doesn't really get to socialize much with kids his age.

 

Anyway, I pretty much figured that they'd want to keep this quiet. There's no way they can let this go to the media vultures. JJ's career would be destroyed.

Edited January 30, 2013 by methodwriter85

[Mark Arbour]

JP was excellent as always, you really did touch on all the core issues. As for Robbie it takes alot to annoy me but he's just being vacuous for the sake of it now in regards to Will. How a man who manages a company can have such a massive blind spot on his radar is beyond me. Wills new found tolerance for him is nothing short of astounding.

 

Be patient with Robbie.  We get to see inside his mind (more or less) in chapter 90. 

[Westie]

I know some people at Mark's yahoo group had some "issues" with the prospect of assassination.  I don't.  

 

Rather like the death penalty, I'm "meh" on the subject.  I know I SHOULD be passionate, one way or another, but the truth is I couldn't care less.

 

PS - as a side note - should the date at the top of the chapter not read 25th December?  It's past 2am.... (sorry.... pedantic prick coming through...)

[centexhairysub]

I have to start by saying that in my professional experience; no child sex abuser ever has had only one victim and none can be cured of the compulsion.  Chemical or physical castration can significantly lower the urges but even then they can turn to violence rather than sex. 

 

Organizations such as the USFSA will always circle the wagons and move to protect themselves and the adults within the organization.  It is so rare that any organization moves to actually protect the children involved because of the fear of lawsuits and negative publicity.  Even today organizations especially those that deal with children are more interested in covering their asses than protecting the kids.  Now, because there is photographic evidence, it will be harder to just sweep this under the rug but that is what the USFSA first reaction is going to be to do.  I have never seen any organization man up and do the right thing even when significant proof is offered up; just look at Penn State, the Boy Scouts of American, the Catholic Church, the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, etc...  They may eventually come around but it usually takes years and significant legal prodding for that to happen.  They always start by blaming the victim or calling them liars...

 

JJ's whole world is wrapped up in skating and no matter how it is handled; he is going to have significant issues to overcome.  If his coach just disappears, there is a good chance that neither JJ nor the other children involved will ever have any real sense of closure.  Because of how tightly wound up these children are with their skating personas; it is going to be equally hard for them to deal with anything that causes any disruptions in their skating lives.  In many ways it is harder on children that have had some kind of gay feelings developing before the abuse; they always have to deal with that self doubt that they did something that spurred the abuse on. 

 

Going to the police and the USFSA will make the case public and then the kids will have to deal with the media, their peers, blowback from the USFSA, legal issues, and coming to terms with what happened to them.  If you don't go to the police and the USFSA, then the other parents may never be made aware of what happened or even worse they may find out and choose to do nothing for fear that their child will be stigmatized or they may even blame their child.  If the coach just up and disappears, the victims may never find closure and you may never find out how many victims were involved and where there any other adults involved...  If you turn the evidence over to the police and the USFSA, there will be blowback on the victims in some form from the USFSA and the coach may have additional pictures, etc... that he will try and use to make the victims look equally culpable or even just the fear of what will come out at a trial may haunt the victims.  There is a clear right answer to this situation legally; the problem is that both morally and ethically, the answer isn't always as clear cut.

 

In other issues, Robbie has a little more reason to be upset about Brad having sex with Wade then Brad does about the actor and Jeff.  Neither of the two that Robbie had sex with were family while Wade clearly is; this makes a big distinction.  I am not saying this absolves Robbie because it doesn't, it just make the issue more complicated.  What Brad and Robbie both need to realize is that they have more important issues to deal with in their relationship than who cheated first, with who, or most...  In the story, JP, Stef, Will and maybe Brad were suprised that Robbie was trying to deal with his problems with Brad first instead of Will.  I think this makes perfect sense.  I think Robbie's inital issues with Will were in reaction to the problems that Will and Brad were having.  I think the fact that Brad was able to work out his issues with Will but wasn't able to convince Robbie or communicate with him the reasons caused Robbie's problems with Will to grow.  Robbie needs to deal with his issues with Brad before tackling the issues he has with Will.  That isn't to say the issues with Will are less important, but some of those issues arose because of issues Brad and Robbie didn't address. 

 

I really think that Will and maybe to a lesser extent Matt maybe the best ones to help JJ deal with some of his issues.  JJ will definitely need counseling but in the short term, Will and Matt may be able to reach JJ in ways that no one else in the family will be able to. 

 

What do you think will happen to Michael now???

 

Mark, this latest chapter just goes to show how truly gifted you are, the writing is pulling everyone into the story in so many personal ways...  Bravo...

[Westie]

In other issues, Robbie has a little more reason to be upset about Brad having sex with Wade then Brad does about the actor and Jeff.  Neither of the two that Robbie had sex with were family while Wade clearly is; this makes a big distinction.  I am not saying this absolves Robbie because it doesn't, it just make the issue more complicated.  What Brad and Robbie both need to realize is that they have more important issues to deal with in their relationship than who cheated first, with who, or most...  

 

 

I have to say that I disagree here.  This family has always had complex borders between family and partners.  JP and Stef are in fact first cousins.  Robbie's dad and Brad's adoptive mother are together.  Brad had a brief sojourn with his own cousin, Kevin (Sergio).  I don't find it particularly heinous that a man has sex with his partners-son's-boyfriend in these circumstanced.  Wade and Matt have an open relationship.  Matt told Brad during millennium that if the opportunity ever came up, that he must take it.  And we must also note that while Matt is a fully accepted member of the family, he didn't grow up as their child.  Robbie is his biological father, but Edward is "Dad" to Matt.  In a normal family, I would agree that this would add a horror dimension - but I do not believe that in this family this is justifiably the case.  Especially in circumstances where Robbie had effectively (and unreasonably) rejected Brad.

 

Personally, I think to come to a Christmas Dinner, make everyone uncomfortable and then sneak off to a room to cheat on your partner while in the same house is pretty much on par.

 

Yes they need to realise that there are more important things to deal with than who cheated first and how often - but at the same time I think they need to seriously consider whether they - having both been driven to cheating in extremis - can continue to be together.  I would say that unless they repair the actual damage from Millennium, instead of hiding it under a veneer of renewed "honeymoon stage"... they are not meant to stay together for the long run.

[MJ85]

I don't count getting raped as having sex. I still see JJ as a virgin, because what happened to him I do not count as him losing his virginity.

 

I would prefer to agree with you on this - but the reason that I can't, is that from a logical perspective, the thing that I find very hard to just overlook is any case like the six years of abuse that Wade had to put up with. It's very hard to consider him a "virgin" at the point where he and Matt got together, after having had all that abuse before then.

 

Emotionally...on a certain level, I want to agree with you. But...I'm having trouble understanding just how it would make sense for someone who goes through like what Wade did. That's even before considering the idea that "virginity" is something that's even more of a complex concept for gay men.

[PrivateTim]

I have to start by saying that in my professional experience; no child sex abuser ever has had only one victim and none can be cured of the compulsion.  Chemical or physical castration can significantly lower the urges but even then they can turn to violence rather than sex. 

 

Organizations such as the USFSA will always circle the wagons and move to protect themselves and the adults within the organization.  It is so rare that any organization moves to actually protect the children involved because of the fear of lawsuits and negative publicity.  Even today organizations especially those that deal with children are more interested in covering their asses than protecting the kids.  Now, because there is photographic evidence, it will be harder to just sweep this under the rug but that is what the USFSA first reaction is going to be to do.  I have never seen any organization man up and do the right thing even when significant proof is offered up; just look at Penn State, the Boy Scouts of American, the Catholic Church, the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, etc...  They may eventually come around but it usually takes years and significant legal prodding for that to happen.  They always start by blaming the victim or calling them liars...

 

JJ's whole world is wrapped up in skating and no matter how it is handled; he is going to have significant issues to overcome.  If his coach just disappears, there is a good chance that neither JJ nor the other children involved will ever have any real sense of closure.  Because of how tightly wound up these children are with their skating personas; it is going to be equally hard for them to deal with anything that causes any disruptions in their skating lives.  In many ways it is harder on children that have had some kind of gay feelings developing before the abuse; they always have to deal with that self doubt that they did something that spurred the abuse on. 

 

Going to the police and the USFSA will make the case public and then the kids will have to deal with the media, their peers, blowback from the USFSA, legal issues, and coming to terms with what happened to them.  If you don't go to the police and the USFSA, then the other parents may never be made aware of what happened or even worse they may find out and choose to do nothing for fear that their child will be stigmatized or they may even blame their child.  If the coach just up and disappears, the victims may never find closure and you may never find out how many victims were involved and where there any other adults involved...  If you turn the evidence over to the police and the USFSA, there will be blowback on the victims in some form from the USFSA and the coach may have additional pictures, etc... that he will try and use to make the victims look equally culpable or even just the fear of what will come out at a trial may haunt the victims.  There is a clear right answer to this situation legally; the problem is that both morally and ethically, the answer isn't always as clear cut.

 

So you are wrong on pretty much everything in there.

 

I deal with two organizations that deal a lot with children and each has in place policies and safeguards when it comes to the adults who have interactions with children. Both the organizations run background checks on anyone involved in the organizations. Every Olympic NGB I know of has similar policies.

 

Involving the police and USFSA would not involve the names of those involved being publicly revealed, CA has shield laws for minors and shield laws for victims of sexual abuse.

 

There would certainly not be any blowback from USFSA towards the victims. They might have some blind spots when it comes to trying to keep their skaters images clean, but they would bend over backwards, forward and sideways to support the victims because to do anything else in 2000 would have been suicidal for an organization. Also bear in mind that we are only about 14 months out from the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics and that USFSA couldn't do anything that reflect negatively on their organization (like blaming 14 year old boys for getting molested by a USFSA coach) or they risked having Mitt Romney pull them as the sponsor of the figure skating events.

 

Both of the organizations I am involved with have had their share of sexual abusers in the ranks and not once has either ever "circled the wagons". If anything, they react too quickly the other way when allegations surface, the accused is quickly removed and restoration is difficult even if the allegations are proved false.

 

******

 

As I said in my review, this places JP in a bad place because in CA he is a "mandated reporter" and it leaves not only the current skaters under this coach who have been molested in a bad place, but potentially skaters in the past and any other boys he has come into contact with, like friends of his kids. If his actions are not revealed a lot of kids who could have come forward and maybe gotten help, won't and a lot of other parents who don't understand why their kids are acting up may be coming down hard on these kids. And what if those one of those kids kills themselves because they didn't know how to deal with it?

 

I get it is cooler and more dramatic to whack the guy, but that doesn't make it the right thing. Just the easier thing and certainly easier to write.

[MJ85]

And what if those one of those kids kills themselves because they didn't know how to deal with it?

 

This.

 

What if..."one of those kids"...turns out to be...?

[methodwriter85]

 

 Involving the police and USFSA would not involve the names of those involved being publicly revealed, CA has shield laws for minors and shield laws for victims of sexual abuse.

 

That's a really nice thought, but tabloids and the like aren't exactly known for their discretion, and the son of a famous movie producer getting molested by a well-known, Olympic-medaling coach would not be something that you could hush them up about to keep low-profile, lawsuits be damned. And it's not like the coach is like a football coach who teaches dozens of people- he's a figure skating coach, which means he likely only coaches maybe 4 or 5 people at most. If his coach's name got out, then people would automatically connect JJ to this coach.

 

We've talked to Daisy about this, and she didn't find the storyline, or the need to keep things from going to court, to be all that impossible. This was her feedback:

 

 

 I agree with Mark that JJ would want to hush it up for sure, because the USFSA doesn't like scandals, especially sex-related ones, and JJ would probably risk being labeled as gay himself if it came out (although I'm sure he could probably avoid that).

 

Anyway...I was filled with a lot of trepidation about this storyline, because I feel like I'm JJ's character guardian, but Mark's handled it pretty well. This was pretty well-done. I definitely thought it was better than the one Mark had about Brad getting molested in The Land Whore. This felt more grounded in realisim, and the signs were a lot better placed here.

 

I liked how it's been noted that JJ has been acting more and more child-like...I think that's probably because being forced into becoming a sexual being before you're ready to would probably make JJ want to cling more into being a child and less interested in doing teenaged antics like Will and Darius.

Edited January 31, 2013 by methodwriter85

[centexhairysub]

So you are wrong on pretty much everything in there.

 

I deal with two organizations that deal a lot with children and each has in place policies and safeguards when it comes to the adults who have interactions with children. Both the organizations run background checks on anyone involved in the organizations. Every Olympic NGB I know of has similar policies.

 

Involving the police and USFSA would not involve the names of those involved being publicly revealed, CA has shield laws for minors and shield laws for victims of sexual abuse.

 

There would certainly not be any blowback from USFSA towards the victims. They might have some blind spots when it comes to trying to keep their skaters images clean, but they would bend over backwards, forward and sideways to support the victims because to do anything else in 2000 would have been suicidal for an organization. Also bear in mind that we are only about 14 months out from the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics and that USFSA couldn't do anything that reflect negatively on their organization (like blaming 14 year old boys for getting molested by a USFSA coach) or they risked having Mitt Romney pull them as the sponsor of the figure skating events.

 

Both of the organizations I am involved with have had their share of sexual abusers in the ranks and not once has either ever "circled the wagons". If anything, they react too quickly the other way when allegations surface, the accused is quickly removed and restoration is difficult even if the allegations are proved false.

 

Frankly, you cannot know if I am wrong or not; you can believe I am and use your statements to support that belief but that doesn't make what you believe factual.

 

In the last seven years I have resigned from administrative boards of one national organization and one state organization that dealt primarily with children exactly because they moved to do just what I said.  In both cases, they were presented with what was in my opinion pretty clear evidence of systematic abuse at a summer camp in one case and a group home in another.  When it became clear very quickly, that neither organization was going to do the right thing but instead was willing to spend significant amounts of money, time, and influence to fight the charges; I did the only thing I could do which was resign.  In neither case was I the only one that left the boards nor did the matters resolve themselves quickly or painlessly for anyone involved. 

 

In addition, I was personally involved in my professional capacity as a United States sporting national association did just what I suggested the USFSA would do when a case of sexual abuse occured at one of their training facilities.  I came in after the fact when the organization decided to establish new procedures and set up a board to come up with plans to address the issue and find a better way of reporting, dealing with, and resolving everything the next time it came up.  The problem is that while the organization adopted almost every recommendation that the board made; the same people still run the organization and I personally have trouble believing that they wouldn't do the same thing again.  In this case, the victim left the sport not so much because of the sexual abuse but because of the actions of the association when it defended the accused and the fact that many of the victims peers found out about the accusations and ended up turning on the victim because the accused ended up being forced out of the position the accused held.  The victim clearly indicated that their life became a living hell more because of the aftermath rather then because of the sexual abuse itself.  Even though everything was sealed, everyone at the training facility knew who was involved. 

 

Now, I will fully grant that the shield laws are more your area than mine; plus, I am sure that they are more comprehensive and effective in California than Texas.    That being said, my experience is that the more insulated a group or organization is that something like this occurs in; the more likely that most of information ends up being known to those belonging to or involved in said organization or group. 

 

I am not trying to invalidate your experiences at all but the idea that your experience is the norm rather than the exception can be argued.  You may also be right about how the USFSA would have reacted that close to the 2002 games; but neither of our positions is a given just a best guess.  Your point of view is colored by your experience and legal backgroud but my experience as a therapist that deals primarily with teenagers has given me a considerable background in sexual abuse and the aftermaths over the last twenty or so years. 

 

After reading my original post, I agree it is a rather blanket statement based on my past experiences and I should have prefaced by saying so; but that doesn't make anything I said incorrect. 

[Mark Arbour]

Let me switch to the right side of my brain, tap into my inner social scientist, and make this observation.  It really doesn't matter what the USFSA would have done in this situation, what matters at this point is what Brad, Robbie, JP, Stef, and Will think the USFSA would do in this situation.  Their perception drives the reality. They would see the USFSA as an organization that actively fought to make it's gay skaters remain in the closet, and as gay men, they would know how unhealthy that was.  They had first-hand experience of that stance in Norway.  They're not really going to see this glowing, caring board behind the scenes.  They're going to see the USFSA as an organization that will do whatever it has to do to protect the reputation of it's sport, regardless of how that has to be done, and how many careers have to be destroyed to do it.  Cue:  Johnny Weir. 

[methodwriter85]

    I thought it was pretty interesting how Will's optmistic, "I'll blackmail you guys into being cool with openly gay skaters" deal was replaced with a more realistic viewpoint about what would happen to JJ's career if this ever got out and JJ found himself branded as "gay". JJ wouldn't be blacklisted, but I'm betting he'll have significantly lowered scores at his competitions, and I'm seriously doubting that sponsors are going to come calling. Even though it sucks, JJ would no longer be seen as an innocent, virginal figure skater if his name got linked to this scandal.

 

    I really liked how JJ's innocence and purity was contrasted against Will and John Hobart's more horny, sexually precocious teenaged antics. It pisses me off that he no longer really gets to have that.

[Mark Arbour]

    I thought it was pretty interesting how Will's optmistic, "I'll blackmail you guys into being cool with openly gay skaters" deal was replaced with a more realistic viewpoint about what would happen to JJ's career if this ever got out and JJ found himself branded as "gay". JJ wouldn't be blacklisted, but I'm betting he'll have significantly lowered scores at his competitions, and I'm seriously doubting that sponsors are going to come calling. Even though it sucks, JJ would no longer be seen as an innocent, virginal figure skater if his name got linked to this scandal.

 

    I really liked how JJ's innocence and purity was contrasted against Will and John Hobart's more horny, sexually precocious teenaged antics. It pisses me off that he no longer really gets to have that.

 

I don't think he'd get to keep that anyway, since he's progressing through puberty.  Unless he becomes largely asexual.  

[methodwriter85]

I don't think he'd get to keep that anyway, since he's progressing through puberty.  Unless he becomes largely asexual.  

 

Well, he wasn't going to keep it forever, of course, but I figured he wouldn't get to the kind of sexual development and active sex life that Will has until he was at least around 17. I think that's the most interesting thing about the 12-16 age group- so much of what happens to you is based on how developed you are. Hot, very developed guys like John and Will get attention and interest that can lead to all sorts of temptation, while the late bloomers like JJ tend to not have that much happen to them until they finally "bloom".  Although sadly, in JJ's case, his being a late bloomer is precisely what attracted his sicko coach to him.

 

I will say though that the contrast of sexual development between JJ and Will has been pretty interesting, and not something you've done before, which is good. I think left to his own devices, JJ would have been the type of high school kid who was relatively chaste with his partners- satisfied with hand-holding and making out, until he got towards the end of high school/ start of college. Sometimes kids just aren't ready until they're older, and I think JJ would fall into that group instead.

 

 I do think when JJ gets to that stage, it's going to cause conflict, because he's expected to repress his sexuality and present the Disney Virginal Image that skating demands. I think for now, he'd be okay with it, because I think given his trauma and his relatively immature sexual development JJ's not exactly going to chase tail like a typical Crampton/Schluter guy, but that'll probably change in a few years. I think it's not much of a stretch to ask a 15-year old with the body of a 12-year old who's very focused on his career to present that image, but ask a 20-year old JJ with what will likely be a hot 20-year old body  to still project that kind of image and I think it'll be really hard to do so. I feel like most people hit the peak of their sluttiness in their early 20's. LOL.

 

Anyway, I wonder exactly what height JJ is supposed to be, and if he's about to have a growth spurt or not. I see him as 5'2" or 5'3"- I think the average height for a guy his age should be about 5'7", so that would still make him short enough that he'd get teased all the time. Will's already 5'10", right? And I figured that Darius should be about 6 foot.

Edited February 1, 2013 by methodwriter85

[MJ85]

Soooo......

 

Next chapter is supposed to be the big tearjerker. And, we're not supposed to expect the direction that things are going. And, they're headed to go see Jeanine next.

 

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

[centexhairysub]

After reading the latest chapter posted just a while ago; I have to say those moments of joy just makes the loss of innocence that much worse...

 

This was a really sad chapter for me even though there were a lot little moments of happiness and repairs have started to more than one relationship...  I am not sure how the Christmas day meeting with Jeanine is going to go but I have to believe that no matter where the story goes from here; everything will get better even if not everyone realizes it at the same time.

 

Mark, I cannot say how deeply this storyline has touched me and how deftly you have pulled all the threads of the story together; this is just some truly remarkable writing...

[Mark Arbour]

After reading the latest chapter posted just a while ago; I have to say those moments of joy just makes the loss of innocence that much worse...

 

This was a really sad chapter for me even though there were a lot little moments of happiness and repairs have started to more than one relationship...  I am not sure how the Christmas day meeting with Jeanine is going to go but I have to believe that no matter where the story goes from here; everything will get better even if not everyone realizes it at the same time.

 

Mark, I cannot say how deeply this storyline has touched me and how deftly you have pulled all the threads of the story together; this is just some truly remarkable writing...

 

I'm sorry that you found this chapter to be sad.  Sometimes I'll write a chapter that I really enjoy (both writing, and reading) and this was one of those.  My prior experience has shown me, though, that just because I have that reaction doesn't mean my readers will.     I've learned that people read and interpret things from their own perspective.  I hope I haven't churned up too many bad feelings or memories for you.  

[methodwriter85]

   What got me about this chapter was the push/pull moments you have when you're growing up...you want to be taken as a mature, emerging adult who is not a little kid anymore, but every so often you have these moments when you just really, really need to act like a little kid again. I thought that Will and JJ waking up people for Christmas was a great moment, and it really gave us insight into what Will and JJ's relationship was like before Will turned into the precocious gay sex stud and JJ turned into a diva bitch. I mean really, for all intents and purposes Will and JJ were basically twins growing up. There's only a 9-month difference between them. It was nice to see a glimpse of the tight bond they had to have had when they were little.

Edited February 3, 2013 by methodwriter85

[rjo]

I found chapter 90 a chapter of hope. Just like Christmas is a season of hope. Will's returning to happier earlier days showed us that he loves JJ a lot and the fact that he is willing to visit his mom is even more telling. Can this family heal itself? Before this chapter I wouldn't have thought so. Now however I am sure about it. It is interesting that a few simple acts on Will's part may have restored a happy Christmas for this family and maybe other things can be handled better to. I  think we all recieved a late but wonderful Christmas gift last night and I thank our author for it.

[MJ85]

I'm sorry that you found this chapter to be sad.  Sometimes I'll write a chapter that I really enjoy (both writing, and reading) and this was one of those.  My prior experience has shown me, though, that just because I have that reaction doesn't mean my readers will.     I've learned that people read and interpret things from their own perspective.  I hope I haven't churned up too many bad feelings or memories for you.  

 

Indeed, and you've come dangerously close to crossing that line as of late.

[methodwriter85]

I don't think that Robbie and Brad's lack of involvement had much, if anything, to do with JJ's relationship with his coach, but even if it did, you're right that Will's objective wasn't to moralize to Robbie.  His goal was to try and repair their relationship, and to try and throw Robbie an emotional lifeline.  It must have been blatantly obvious to Will that Robbie was beating the shit out of himself over that.

 

I'm not going to say it was the only reason, but I thought it's been made pretty clear that JJ's lack of a paternal figure left him vulnerable and needy for older male attention.

[JLK9N]

I'm the "glass half full" type, so put me down as seeing this chapter as a message of hope.   

[Mark Arbour]

Thanks to all of you who nominated Paternity for Best Hosted Story!  The voting for the Readers' Choice Awards is now open, so please take a few moments to send your picks to Talonrider.  It's not who you vote for that's important to me, it's that you vote.  

[PrivateTim]

I have to start by saying that in my professional experience; no child sex abuser ever has had only one victim and none can be cured of the compulsion.  Chemical or physical castration can significantly lower the urges but even then they can turn to violence rather than sex. 

 

Organizations such as the USFSA will always circle the wagons and move to protect themselves and the adults within the organization.  It is so rare that any organization moves to actually protect the children involved because of the fear of lawsuits and negative publicity.  Even today organizations especially those that deal with children are more interested in covering their asses than protecting the kids.  Now, because there is photographic evidence, it will be harder to just sweep this under the rug but that is what the USFSA first reaction is going to be to do.  I have never seen any organization man up and do the right thing even when significant proof is offered up; just look at Penn State, the Boy Scouts of American, the Catholic Church, the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, etc...  They may eventually come around but it usually takes years and significant legal prodding for that to happen.  They always start by blaming the victim or calling them liars...

 

JJ's whole world is wrapped up in skating and no matter how it is handled; he is going to have significant issues to overcome.  If his coach just disappears, there is a good chance that neither JJ nor the other children involved will ever have any real sense of closure.  Because of how tightly wound up these children are with their skating personas; it is going to be equally hard for them to deal with anything that causes any disruptions in their skating lives.  In many ways it is harder on children that have had some kind of gay feelings developing before the abuse; they always have to deal with that self doubt that they did something that spurred the abuse on. 

 

Going to the police and the USFSA will make the case public and then the kids will have to deal with the media, their peers, blowback from the USFSA, legal issues, and coming to terms with what happened to them.  If you don't go to the police and the USFSA, then the other parents may never be made aware of what happened or even worse they may find out and choose to do nothing for fear that their child will be stigmatized or they may even blame their child.  If the coach just up and disappears, the victims may never find closure and you may never find out how many victims were involved and where there any other adults involved...  If you turn the evidence over to the police and the USFSA, there will be blowback on the victims in some form from the USFSA and the coach may have additional pictures, etc... that he will try and use to make the victims look equally culpable or even just the fear of what will come out at a trial may haunt the victims.  There is a clear right answer to this situation legally; the problem is that both morally and ethically, the answer isn't always as clear cut.

 

In other issues, Robbie has a little more reason to be upset about Brad having sex with Wade then Brad does about the actor and Jeff.  Neither of the two that Robbie had sex with were family while Wade clearly is; this makes a big distinction.  I am not saying this absolves Robbie because it doesn't, it just make the issue more complicated.  What Brad and Robbie both need to realize is that they have more important issues to deal with in their relationship than who cheated first, with who, or most...  In the story, JP, Stef, Will and maybe Brad were suprised that Robbie was trying to deal with his problems with Brad first instead of Will.  I think this makes perfect sense.  I think Robbie's inital issues with Will were in reaction to the problems that Will and Brad were having.  I think the fact that Brad was able to work out his issues with Will but wasn't able to convince Robbie or communicate with him the reasons caused Robbie's problems with Will to grow.  Robbie needs to deal with his issues with Brad before tackling the issues he has with Will.  That isn't to say the issues with Will are less important, but some of those issues arose because of issues Brad and Robbie didn't address. 

 

I really think that Will and maybe to a lesser extent Matt maybe the best ones to help JJ deal with some of his issues.  JJ will definitely need counseling but in the short term, Will and Matt may be able to reach JJ in ways that no one else in the family will be able to. 

 

What do you think will happen to Michael now???

 

Mark, this latest chapter just goes to show how truly gifted you are, the writing is pulling everyone into the story in so many personal ways...  Bravo...

 

Not wanting to rehash too much of an old chapter since we have moved on to a new chapter, but TX must indeed be very different from CA & CO because an organization that ignores, covers or deflects on child molestation is at huge peril. Even if the organization doesn't really care, they have to appear to care, make changes that shows they care and they distance themselves from the accused, sometimes too quickly as sometimes the allegations are false as they were in a famous USFSA case against an Olympic coach. My experience is with USOC Group A members only, I can't speak about other national organizations like the Boy Scouts, Little League Baseball, etc. The only USOC organization that has been a problem in not reacting well or quickly enough has been USA Gymnastics, and I don't mind mentioning them by name since their cases are well known and have been splashed all over the news.

 

To be clear, many of the organizations I am involved with that were part of what got me involved at the national level have had abuse cases, any organization is going to, it is inevitable; the difference is in how the organization reacts and what steps it takes in prevention and the face the organization puts on it.

 

Everyone, me included obviously, sees things through the lens of their experience so when I read "Organizations such as the USFSA will always circle the wagons and move to protect themselves and the adults within the organization" it was so far outside my experience that I over-reacted by invalidating whatever your personal experience was and for that I apologize.

 

Let me switch to the right side of my brain, tap into my inner social scientist, and make this observation.  It really doesn't matter what the USFSA would have done in this situation, what matters at this point is what Brad, Robbie, JP, Stef, and Will think the USFSA would do in this situation.  Their perception drives the reality. They would see the USFSA as an organization that actively fought to make it's gay skaters remain in the closet, and as gay men, they would know how unhealthy that was.  They had first-hand experience of that stance in Norway.  They're not really going to see this glowing, caring board behind the scenes.  They're going to see the USFSA as an organization that will do whatever it has to do to protect the reputation of it's sport, regardless of how that has to be done, and how many careers have to be destroyed to do it.  Cue:  Johnny Weir. 

 

The people at USFSA are realists, some are idealists, but most have a firm grasp on reality. Everyone has always known that men's figure skating was a bastion for gay men, but it was about keeping the sexuality under wraps because of valid fears that it would hurt the sports popularity and maybe keep some parents from letting their boys get involved in the sport. It may not be a morally correct position, but it was realistic.

 

Point being, that USFSA will take steps that protect the organization, they really don't give a rip about individuals, including famous coaches. If presented with photograhpic evidence of the abuse the organization would jettison the abuser like yesterday's fish stew, not because it is the right thing, but because it would be the best thing for the organization.

 

The better example of gay skater who faced discrimination is Rudy Galindo rather than Johnny Weir. Galindo was in that era when judges would punish the openly gay skater in judging. The only reason Galindo won the US Championship (which he deserved) was he was such the obvious winner and it was in front of his hometown fans in San Jose. The people would have torn down the arena had Galindo not gotten the marks he deserved.

 

I will say though that the contrast of sexual development between JJ and Will has been pretty interesting, and not something you've done before, which is good. I think left to his own devices, JJ would have been the type of high school kid who was relatively chaste with his partners- satisfied with hand-holding and making out, until he got towards the end of high school/ start of college. Sometimes kids just aren't ready until they're older, and I think JJ would fall into that group instead.

 

I feel like most people hit the peak of their sluttiness in their early 20's. LOL.

 

**personal experience allert** The only guys I know of who were chaste in high school were the ones too shy not to be. Even the guys in my high school church youth group were horny SOBs in their hearts, some managed to control their behavior, only to find out in college, they were one of the few in the youth group who actually did control their behavior, the rest were able to justify getting hand jobs and blow jobs as "not really sex". Even getting naked rubbing Homer all over your naked GFs privates was okay as long as their was no penetration.

 

I feel like most guys, especially in todays Internet world, hit their peak of sluttiness as soon as the boys drop and maintain the sluttiness ad infinitum. Even many of my friends in their 30's are complete man whores with their grindr and jack'd apps. They will be out with Matt and I enjoing a casual dinner and they text through the whole dinner setting up their plans for the night as soon as the desert plates are removed.

 

 

I'm not going to say it was the only reason, but I thought it's been made pretty clear that JJ's lack of a paternal figure left him vulnerable and needy for older male attention.

 

I think there are many reasons JJ's coach went there, but I don't think it was lack of attention from older males. All JJ has in his life are older males.