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5 years ago, I was disowned via letter.


Menace

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So, um, daddy's not going to attend son's life, but somehow seems to expect son to attend daddy's death. Mind you, I suspect I might, if only for the pleasure of pissing on his gravestone, just like his father pissed on him.

 

I honestly, honestly don't get homophobia, xenophobia, genderphobia, or even credophobia. I never met a black person till I was 19 and not once did it ever occur to me to do anything but like him. I think these people must be missing something vital in their heads, I really do.

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Im sorry to say, but this is an example of why you should be fully prepared to never be able to talk to you family again if you come out. You will never be able to predict the effects of religion and homophobia upon the love that your family has for you.

 

I really wish crap like this did not happen, it sometimes is very hard to think about when you associate it with real life.

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It sucks being disowned by family, I had my grandfather do it to me when I was 16. Perspective can take years to come, but eventually it can. I'm not as angry now; he missed out on meeting his great grandkids and being in our life. His loss, not mine, since anyone with that kind of hate isn't someone I'd want them to be in contact with anyway.

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I have just seen this happen in my own family.

 

My cousin is in his mid 20's now, and has been terrified of coming out to his folks. With good reason too it seems, and I feel so damn bad for him. His mom, my direct cousin is probably one of the most progressive and accepting people I know in my family, and the only one in the family I was able to comfortably come out too. She was supportive and understanding and really wonderful about it, so I can't begin to understand how she could be so harsh towards her own son.

 

Within our extended family we have had a few 'gays' in the family. They have all had difficult lives and had to deal with all sorts of prejudice and hate. Things is as a family we have all seen this first hand, and know the effects it had and the results of the hate and hurt.

So why do it when it is your own son?

I just don't understand it.

And to do it by email.

Meh

This is a cruel and unkind world. I am not prefect, and do and say stupid things all the time. I've hurt people and done things I wish I could change, but hate on that level?

I will most likely never be a parent and in many ways I am glad as it is so easy to cock it up and make a mistake, but I'd like to think that if I ever did, I'd love my kid no matter what disappointments I felt. Everyone has the right to chose who they want to be right? And unless their actions place them in immediate or serious danger, then our love and support is critical to their acceptance and success in life right?

Or am I just dumb, and don't get it?

 

Why do we hurt each other so?

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  • 4 weeks later...

It is terrible for the guy to get a letter like that especially to find out that he never had a father. You can't love your child and write them out of your life. I can understand being mad at your child, upset, not understanding but never not loving them. While this is homophobia, it is also so much more than that punctuated by the cold matter of fact tone of the letter. Painful as it may be, it is better to move on and embrace "family" that accepts and cares for you, biological and otherwise. 

 

Having a child myself, this man's actions to his son are inconceivable

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