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Neil's initial attitude to Tony was jealousy,  but Tony has become a good gay mentor for him (as has Sam).   Comparing the Liam/Alf duality with the Jim/Ken duality never occurred to me, but evidently Graeme had it in mind all along.   He really is a consummate story-teller.

While it might look that way, I have to confess that no, it wasn't all pre-planned. The idea just came to me while I was working on that chapter, and it just fitted so well....

 

A small question for Graeme.   More than once Clarissa has described Liam as a jerk but not a bastard.   I'm quite familiar with "bastard" as a pejorative term, but the American term "jerk" is too subtle for me.   Could you briefly explain the distinction, please, Graeme?

The difference is hard to define, but to me it's to do with the intent. A bastard is someone who is malicious. A jerk is someone who is unthinking, or uncaring. One is actively trying to hurt someone, the other is hurting them, but that wasn't the objective. Does that make sense?

 

So, Clarissa is saying that Liam has been unthinking or uncaring, and that's hurt Neil, but he hasn't been malicious (at least since he became 'Alf').

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      A small question for Graeme.   More than once Clarissa has described Liam as a jerk but not a bastard.   I'm quite familiar with "bastard" as a pejorative term, but the American term "jerk" is too subtle for me.   Could you briefly explain the distinction, please, Graeme?

 

 

I'll be interested in Graeme's response, too.  "Jerk" certainly doesn't have the same impact as "bastard".  And, it lacks the edge of most other four letter words.  It's subtlty must come in part from overuse. 

 

I think Clarissa is too much a lady to cast aspersions on Liam's parentage.  After all she does know his parents.

 

Most girls don't take being jilted lightly.  Clarissa hasn't displayed any self pity.  It's no surprise that she treats Liam with a modicum of respect.

Edited by MikeL
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The term 'bastard' is rarely used in Australia for it's original definition (a child born out of wedlock). It's generally used for someone who is mean and/or malicious (or, rather,  that's how the speaker seems them). It can also be used in a sarcastic sense as an expression of admiration:

 

"You're an absolute bastard," Kyle said to Jonah as he gleefully watched Brad, their arch-enemy, dripping with the green goo that Jonah had placed over the door as a practical joke.

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On 4/5/2015 at 12:06 AM, Graeme said:

There's another fine detail that I've been trying to avoid in the story, but it's actually "the Leopards goals". That is, plural, rather than singular. I don't know why, but I suspect because the goal area is defined by two goal posts on either side, and not an enclosed area with a crossbar.

Oh, of course it's the Leopards, I must have been tired last night, I've corrected my post. But I notice you write Leopards goals without the ' - I would write Leopards' goals. Is this another Australian way of doing it ? I noticed you also write Hawks goals and Leopards Club house.

Edited by Timothy M.
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On 4/5/2015 at 12:10 AM, Ken84050 said:

Neil's initial attitude to Tony was jealousy,  but Tony has become a good gay mentor for him (as has Sam).   Comparing the Liam/Alf duality with the Jim/Ken duality never occurred to me, but evidently Graeme had it in mind all along.   He really is a consummate story-teller.

I agree, Ken, Graeme is a brilliant author - no matter whether Tony's use of the Ken/Jim duality was planned or not. And it was a very clever way of explaining things to Neil. Even if we didn't hear much about it in Leopard Cover, I bet Tony had problems with Jim the closeted football player who had a girlfriend and broke her heart, while he cared very much about Ken.

I'm not sure Neil can reconcile Liam the bully with Alf the nice guy, but they are both part of the boy who is in love with Neil. Even if Liam changes from a bully to a protective and kind boyfriend (and we know from Clarissa that's what he is), the history of hurt is a huge thing for Neil to overcome. But as he changes too, and becomes more confident, almost a new person, perhaps he can leave the past behind him. I was teased and kept outside of the school social life for most of grade five to nine, but I managed to move on. Mainly because I had a supportive family, and Neil has that now in the Leopards.

Edited by Timothy M.
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Oh, of course it's the Leopards, I must have been tired last night, I've corrected my post. But I notice you write Leopards goals without the ' - I would write Leopards' goals. Is this another Australian way of doing it ? I noticed you also write Hawks goals and Leopards Club house.

I had this discussion with my editor quite recently, actually. Essentially, it's because it's so common it becomes more a compound noun, rather than a noun with a possessive adjective. Otherwise, I'd have possessive apostrophe's everywhere (and I don't mind admitting that fixing apostrophe's is the second biggest job of my editor -- the first being fixing up my comma usage :P)

 

This is more a stylistic decision, rather than an Australian way of doing things.

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On 4/5/2015 at 11:53 AM, Graeme said:

Otherwise, I'd have possessive apostrophe's everywhere (and I don't mind admitting that fixing apostrophe's is the second biggest job of my editor -- the first being fixing up my comma usage :P)

Apostrophe's :huh: was that deliberate ? :unsure:

or should I ask what your apostrophe owns? :rofl:

Edited by Timothy M.
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Oh, of course it's the Leopards, I must have been tired last night, I've corrected my post. But I notice you write Leopards goals without the ' - I would write Leopards' goals. Is this another Australian way of doing it ? I noticed you also write Hawks goals and Leopards Club house.

 

 

I had this discussion with my editor quite recently, actually. Essentially, it's because it's so common it becomes more a compound noun, rather than a noun with a possessive adjective. Otherwise, I'd have possessive apostrophe's everywhere (and I don't mind admitting that fixing apostrophe's is the second biggest job of my editor -- the first being fixing up my comma usage :P)

 

This is more a stylistic decision, rather than an Australian way of doing things.

 

 

Apostrophe's :huh: was that deliberate ? :unsure:

or should I ask what your apostrophe owns? :rofl:

 

Smiley-ROFL.gif   I've had this conversation with Graeme recently.  I would have to say our author is apostrophobic.

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      Thank you for educating me, Graeme.

 

 

".... It’s only slow dances that you require a partner.” Clarissa stopped in her tracks and stared at Neil. When he paused and looked back at her, her eyes opened wide. “Seriously? You thought you needed a partner to get out on a dance floor?”

 

Neil glared. “How the hell am I supposed to know? I haven’t been to a party since I was twelve!”

 

      Ballroom dancing and square dancing in the 1950s did require a partner.   I had never noticed that the enviably wild and free dancing of present-day young people didn't need partners.   So until last weekend I was as ignorant as Neil.    :/

Edited by Ken84050
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And what a chapter !!!

I think it may be the best so far. I shall have to go back and read it again, particularly the game stuff. I was so worried about Ty's secret coming out, I couldn't really appreciate the talk of the two recruiter-observers, but now I'm able to appreciate the wonderful irony of their conversation about Ty and the last line in the chapter. :worship:

Edited by Timothy M.
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I always try to leave my own review, if I think of writing one. However, this time Timothy has so eloquently and completely written what I was going to say, that I feel I can suffice with the famous quote: "what he said".

Keep up the amazing work.

Lots of loving cuddles,

Maarten

Why, thanks, Maarten, what a great compliment. :*)

Quote

At least the story is now up to the day of Neil's party. I'll leave it to you as to whether you think I can squeeze another chapter between the end of the VFL/SANFL match, and the start of Neil's party :P

Any chapter is welcome, Graeme, particularly if you also squeeze it in between regular postings. :lol:

Edited by Timothy M.
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I had to smile at how you handled Ty's locker-room scene at the end of the chapter. You just keep putting obstacles in that poor boy's path. Ty's character still has some maturing to do. None of the characters gets an easy ride though. "Pillow biter" is also a new term for me, you Aussies are endlessly creative in homophobic taunts and slang. 

As usual, another great chapter and worth waiting a week for.

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      Well,  Graeme (or anyone else) is welcome to correct this chronology.

 

Chapter     Dates

 

Prologue    Saturday 22nd March 2014

 1               Saturday 22nd

 2               Saturday 22nd,  Sunday 23rd

 3               Sunday 23rd,  Monday 24th

 4               Tuesday 25th

 5               Wednesday 26th

 6               Thursday 27th,  Friday 28th

 7               Saturday 29th

 8               Saturday 29th

 9               Sunday 30th,  Monday 31st

10              Monday 31st March

11              Tuesday 1st April

12              Friday 4th to Monday 7th

13              Monday 7th to Wednesday 9th

14              Wednesday 9th to Friday 11th

15              Friday 11th,  Saturday 12th

16              Saturday 12th

17              Sunday 13th

18              Monday 14th,  Tuesday 15th

19              Thursday 17th to Saturday 19th

20              Saturday 19th

21              Saturday 19th,  Sunday 20th

22              Sunday 20th,  Monday 21st

23              Tuesday 22nd

24              Wednesday 23rd to Saturday 26th

25              Sunday 27th

26              Monday 28th April to Thursday 1st May

27              Thursday 1st,  Friday 2nd

28              Friday 2nd,  Saturday 3rd

29              Sunday 4th,  Monday 5th

30              Monday 5th

31              Tuesday 6th

32              Thursday 8th,  Friday 9th

33              Saturday 10th to Tuesday 13th

34              Friday 16th to Wednesday 21st May 2014

 

 

Thank you for doing this. I love being able to track the passage of time in the story. :kiss:

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I had to smile at how you handled Ty's locker-room scene at the end of the chapter. You just keep putting obstacles in that poor boy's path. Ty's character still has some maturing to do. None of the characters gets an easy ride though. "Pillow biter" is also a new term for me, you Aussies are endlessly creative in homophobic taunts and slang. 

As usual, another great chapter and worth waiting a week for.

 

According to some quick research I've done, the term appears to have come from the UK. It's not in wide use in Australia, but it rose to significance in 2004 when a major radio personality used the term on-air to describe a visiting American TV show host. It made the headlines again in August 2014 (after this point in the story) when it was used by a politician to describe the son of another politician.

 

Overall, it's a fairly minor taunt. It's definitely not a compliment, but there are nastier terms that could be used. Of course, the context matters. Craig Roach certainly wasn't trying to be amusing when he said it.

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I'll admit that I like happy endings. But that doesn't necessarily mean that the characters get the ending that they want.

 

Ty's character has come so far that I can't help but hope that he get what he wants. Of course, we'd like all our favorites to end up in the AFL, but that would be unrealistic. However, one outcome is certain: whatever happens will definitely be entertaining. :)

 

Btw, sorry about switching from 2nd person to third in my review. I didn't realize I'd done that until afterwards. It sounded a little creepy. :/

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On 4/11/2015 at 7:10 PM, Graeme said:

Overall, it's a fairly minor taunt. It's definitely not a compliment, but there are nastier terms that could be used. Of course, the context matters. Craig Roach certainly wasn't trying to be amusing when he said it.

Yeah, we and Ty had no doubts about that and I think the Brat's reaction was fully justified. Getting out of there was a good idea, and I loved his 'I've got a better place to be' remark. Yeah, back at the Leopards where people appreciate him. :yes:

Edited by Timothy M.
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Ty's character has come so far that I can't help but hope that he get what he wants. Of course, we'd like all our favorites to end up in the AFL, but that would be unrealistic. However, one outcome is certain: whatever happens will definitely be entertaining. :)

 

Btw, sorry about switching from 2nd person to third in my review. I didn't realize I'd done that until afterwards. It sounded a little creepy. :/

LOL, no that's fine. It didn't come over as creepy at all. In fact, I had to go back to the review to see what you meant :P

 

The AFL only takes a handful of players from the VFL each year. In last year's actual draft they took none in the national draft, and only four in the rookie draft, and that was from four different teams. Of course, Patrick O'Malley did mention in an earlier chapter that he thought the Leopards were more like Bendigo or Frankston in previous years, where the numbers were one in the national draft and two or three in the rookie draft. Realistically, that'll be the maximum possible number drafted, and it's likely to be lower. So...if only three or four Leopards could be drafted, who would you want them to be?

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      It's not obvious what distinguishes chapter reviews from this forum, so I'll just stay here.


 


      Thank you, Graeme, for another captivating chapter.   Timothy and others have already given it well-deserved praise.


 


      There's just one detail that bothers me.   Are Liam's parents really so naïve?   They are well aware how much Liam wants to be at Neil's party on Saturday evening,  and now he has an excuse to go out that very evening.   When the time comes, he will dress to impress Neil.   Won't his parents be suspicious about such finery merely for doing some school work with Doug?   As always, we must be patient until next weekend.


Edited by Ken84050
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      It's not obvious what distinguishes chapter reviews from this forum, so I'll just stay here.

 

      Thank you, Graeme, for another captivating chapter.   Timothy and others have already given it well-deserved praise.

There's nothing, really. Reviews are explicitly linked to a chapter, so it's easier for someone coming along later to see what other people think, but you can only leave one review. The forums allow for a conversation, but it's difficult for anyone to follow unless they're reading the story at the same time the comment was posted. So there are pros and cons to both :)

 

 

 

      There's just one detail that bothers me.   Are Liam's parents really so naïve?   They are well aware how much Liam wants to be at Neil's party on Saturday evening,  and now he has an excuse to go out that very evening.   When the time comes, he will dress to impress Neil.   Won't his parents be suspicious about such finery merely for doing some school work with Doug?   As always, we must be patient until next weekend.

 

Interesting question. :) Based on what you've seen so far, do you think they're naive?

 

As for finery, Liam will be staying overnight with Doug, so taking a bag with a change of clothes is to be expected. An extra pair of better quality clothing could be slipped in without a problem.

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On 4/12/2015 at 6:54 AM, Ken84050 said:

It's not obvious what distinguishes chapter reviews from this forum, so I'll just stay here.

Thank you, Graeme, for another captivating chapter.   Timothy and others have already given it well-deserved praise.

Another difference is we can 'like' posts, but we can't like reviews (which is a shame at times). :lol:

Edit: (this has now changed - we can like chapter comments and also quote them)

But it makes it even more gratifying when other readers mention a review. In this case mine, so thanks. :D

Edited by Timothy M.
about reviews now being comments which can be liked
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.... Based on what you've seen so far, do you think they're naive?

 

      Up to Chapter 35, certainly not.   I'm just putting myself in their place in Chapter 36 and feeling sceptical.    :huh:    But of course we all want Liam to be at the party, don't we?   Does anyone dare disagree?    :pissed:

 

 

As for finery, Liam will be staying overnight with Doug, so taking a bag with a change of clothes is to be expected. An extra pair of better quality clothing could be slipped in without a problem.

 

    Right.   I'm slowly catching up.    :*)

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So...if only three or four Leopards could be drafted, who would you want them to be?

 

 

Definitely Dad and the brat! Other than them, probably Deon, and maybe Ollie. I can't see Todd's wanting to take on the high-profile AFL lifestyle when he is working on establishing his relationship with Lorraine and the kids. And Charlie (my other favorite) is working on his degree which would probably suffer if he had to make football a full-time career.

 

 

      It's not obvious what distinguishes chapter reviews from this forum, so I'll just stay here.

 

 

      There's just one detail that bothers me.   Are Liam's parents really so naïve?   They are well aware how much Liam wants to be at Neil's party on Saturday evening,  and now he has an excuse to go out that very evening.   When the time comes, he will dress to impress Neil.   Won't his parents be suspicious about such finery merely for doing some school work with Doug?   As always, we must be patient until next weekend.

 

 

Another advantage of posting here is that it allows a continued conversation rather than just a single response from the author. EDIT: I just noticed Graeme listed this advantage above. :*)

 

Liam's parents are definitely suspicious as evidenced by his father's asking to see the completed project. :yes:

Edited by impunity
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On 4/12/2015 at 12:00 AM, Graeme said:

 So...if only three or four Leopards could be drafted, who would you want them to be?

 

On 4/12/2015 at 4:33 PM, impunity said:

Definitely Dad and the brat! Other than them, probably Deon, and maybe Ollie. I can't see Todd's wanting to take on the high-profile AFL lifestyle when he is working on establishing his relationship with Lorraine and the kids. And Charlie (my other favorite) is working on his degree which would probably suffer if he had to make football a full-time career.

Yeah, my vote is with Imp on Dad, the Brat and Deon. But I want Dave as the fourth, assuming his issues have been dealt with. On the other hand, he probably needs another year in a caring and stable environment, so perhaps he and Charlie can be drafted next year?

By the way I see Charlie as a potential for a managing position in the future, he has great people skills and empathy, and he is already getting a view of strategies from when he was injured. Graeme, what sort of position would Charlie be able to hold?

So if Dave is still too fragile to be drafted now, I want Paul to be the fourth. I like him a lot, and wouldn't mind seeing more of him.

Edited by Timothy M.
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