A World on Mute

[AFriendlyFace]

***Warning Possible Spoilers Ahead. Read the Story First***

 

Wow! This was a very dark and moving entry. I liked how it was both the factious autographical account of nameless narrator while at the same time served as a poignant expression of the pain of the other characters in the story.

 

The depiction of the pain of the narrator was elaborated on through hearing how the innocent kitten suffered, the alcoholism of the father, the abuse of the mother, the tragic, loveless plight of the stepbrother, the drug addiction and self-worth issues of the friend.

 

Indeed this brief, dark narration does an excellent job of showing just how messed up life, and the people who live it, can become. I think it

Edited April 26, 2006 by AFriendlyFace

[Caipirinha]

Indeed this brief, dark narration does an excellent job of showing just how messed up life, and the people who live it, can become.

Amen.

 

Glad to hear you liked it.

[Camy]

I didn't like it at all. It upset me, a lot, and no one likes to be upset. I suppose that was the point, and as a point it was well made, but some sort of redemption would have been nice ... a cheerful twist where everything turns out happily .... But no.

 

Very powerful and well written.

 

Camy

[Caipirinha]

I'm sorry that you didn't like it. And I hope to not sound like to much of a pessimist, but unfortunately life doesn't always have those redeeming twists that make everything all better.

Very powerful and well written.

Thank you though, I do appreciate the compliment, and hopefully, if there is a next time, you'll find it less upsetting and more enjoyable. :-)

[Umbathri]

A little glimpse of a world most people dont understand, and why would they want to. It seemed a little chaotic to me at first, jumping points a little to fast. Or maybe I just wanted to feel the milking of the kittens a little longer. But after rereading it seemed to meld well.

 

I agree with friendly, having him be unnamed was a nice touch for such a dark and torturous short.

 

As to a redeeming act or happy ending, I thought the ending was great. Sometimes just surviving IS the happy ending, for surly it is not always the case.

 

~Umbathri

not behind the furnace, but hiding none the less

[Billy17]

My friend's life was 'The World on Mute" It was 2 yrs. ago he died. No one investigated what he lived through

He never believed anyone liked him. He was told he was worthless and he believed it. No matter how many times I told him he was my friend I don't think he ever believed it. I tried to get him to report his dad. he never would. he always said,"he's my dad, I can't do that. Things might get better." I know now he never believed that. His family moved away soon after he died. In a way that is good. I still walk past his house and every tme I ask, why.

I wrote this poem for him,

 

Another Child Dies

Your fist slams down breaking bones

twisted love is all you have

still the child grabs at that

any love is better than none

 

Silent tears asking why

sleep brings the only peace he knows

even then demons invade his dreams

 

In the morning he hears you yelling

can he sneak out without a punch

not today as dad smacks him again

not for a reason just cause you're mean

 

Walking to school all alone

knows he nothing cause his dad tells him so

never had a friend not a one

no one wants to hang with someone like him

 

Running home to finish his chores

gotta be done before dad gets back

in the back door dad is there

where have you been you little shit

you're three minutes late

 

You back hand your son

he looks at you and asks

what have i done

to make you hate me so much

 

Don't cry little pansy

or you will get it again

eyes blurred with tears of pain

scrubbing the floor muscles sore

 

Checks on dad he's passed out again

shoulders slumped walks to the door

in the garage he knows what needs to be done

without feeling he gets all ready

 

Everything in place,one last thing to do

kicks the chair out from underneath

another child takes his life

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow, that was such a sad, moving story and poem

 

I'm so sorry that happened.