Imagine Magazine Question For 4/1

[Comicality]

The internet...

I know that this is going to make me sound super old, but honestly...the internet being a common household 'appliance' or a cash and carry mobile device? I was starting COLLEGE when that was a thing! Hehehe! Seriously. I mean, The Shack is actually almost an entire decade older than Youtube as you know it! It hasn't been that long.

The idea that you could reach out and talk, argue, and share ideas, in real time, with someone on the other side of the globe was just like....wow!

People can make friends with others in places that they've never been to or have even heard of. Express ideas that they never could have in real life. However...

What happens when it comes to an emotional attachment with someone halfway around the world...when you're in a committed relationship? Now, take a moment and think about this. What if you had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you loved with your whole heart, and they began talking...sharing...even FLIRTING...with someone online or on social media?

Is that cheating? Is that a betrayal? Put yourself in the place of someone who has someone who is completely loyal to them 'physically'...but might have developed feelings for someone that they might never see, or touch, or taste, in real life. I mean...isn't that just indulging in a fantasy? Or is that an actual 'stab in the back' by the person you gave your heart to and trusted them to be careful with it?

And...what if it WASN'T your partner doing it? What if it was YOU? You just found someone in Australia, or South Africa, or Brazil, that you really felt a connection to...and you enjoyed the idea of being with them. Would you be cheating on your love for someone else?

I'm interested to see what you guys have to say on this one, because it happens more often than you might think. Share your thoughts down below! And, as always...anonymous comments are welcome at my email at Comicality@shackoutback.net as well! Cool?

[Butcher56]

I have a friend who is always talking to guys online even though she’s supposed to be going with another friend of mine. She denied that she was talking to these guys but if you look at her phone a couple of these guys have sent her pictures of their genitalia and want her to send them back pictures of her genitalia. When my friend asks me what I think about this situation I tell him that he can’t stop her from talking to them because he can’t shut the internet down even if he wanted to do so. 

[Comicality]

13 hours ago, Butcher56 said:

I have a friend who is always talking to guys online even though she’s supposed to be going with another friend of mine. She denied that she was talking to these guys but if you look at her phone a couple of these guys have sent her pictures of their genitalia and want her to send them back pictures of her genitalia. When my friend asks me what I think about this situation I tell him that he can’t stop her from talking to them because he can’t shut the internet down even if he wanted to do so. 

Awesome, Butcher56! Thanks for the answer! Loved it!

[Comicality]

Honestly?

Even if it's not a physical relationship where they're meeting up with some other guy in a hotel to have sex or anything like that...I would definitely consider that cheating. And I won't have any of that. No way.

To me, it's the emotional attachment that's the most important part of two people being in a committed relationship to begin with. And when you're looking at pictures and flirting and cyber-sexing with somebody online...that IS an emotional connection. One that doesn't include me. So, just because the other person isn't actually kissing and making love to my boyfriend, that doesn't mean that they're not involved with one another. They most definitely are. And it hurts. Fantasy or not.

I'd much rather be dumped than cheated on. If I have a boyfriend in real life, and I'm sort of joking around with someone online, even in a flirty way, I know there's a line. And I'll clearly say, "Sorry, I've got a boyfriend." Period. Also, if I have someone that I really have feelings for online and connected with...and then I meet a cute guy in a bar or something who seems 'interested', the same rule applies. "Sorry, I have a boyfriend."

Cheating is just despicable to me. And I've had it happen to me once or twice, and the pain of it never goes away. So, for those 'grass is always greener' folks who think they can have a physical boyfriend and an online fantasy at the same time without either side being compromised? Please stay away from me. I'm not into emotional competition. Either we want to be together or we don't. I'll get over it. Move on and chase you perfect boyfriend. Just keep my heart out of it. I've been through enough, trust me.

[Page Scrawler]

In the past, a boyfriend of mine cheated on me. He didn't even have the respect to break up with me; I caught him in the hallway, making out with some floozy girl. So, I know what that feels like, and I would never wish that on another person. I made a commitment to my husband, and I plan to stay with him until the end. If we ever fall out of love, if we lose that passion for each other, I would rather breakup than being cheated on or simply going through the motions for the sake of appearances. But for now, I'll choose to be happy and enjoy the time I have with him.

@Comicality Is that a picture of Benjamin Lasnier?  😮

Edited April 3, 2020 by Page Scrawler

[Talo Segura]

Jealousy is a real emotion, however, the idea (ideal) of a monogamous one to one relationship is not a given, written in stone, somehow the natural state everyone should be in. It is no more natural than little boys growing up to be princes and marrying their princess. 

It is quite possible to have a relationship with someone which is strong enough that it can be shared with a third person for a brief or a longer moment. Why is sex sacrosanct? Why can a couple share friendship with other people, but not sex? Who made that barrier? Who says you have to follow that invented norm even if it is widespread, it is not universal in all societies across the world.

A one on one monogamous relationship that has no room for sex with someone else who comes along and for whom there is an emotional attachment, poses the question about how strong that relationship is. Do you need walls to protect your relationship? And we are not actually talking about physical relations with a third person, but an online, distant relationship.

This question prompts the response that my boyfriend, partner, is mine and I'm not sharing him and would rather split up if he cannot be loyal and reject anyone else that he has feelings for. That is jealousy talking, jealousy and possessiveness, demanding someone's total attention and love. You might say that is very selfish?

 

[Wollter]

Is it not the search for the ideal love ant

Partnership that makes many people lonely?

We are only looking for a perfect parner

I have been living in a open relationship

5jears now.

Are we perfect? no but we are happy.

When I had cancer last year my boyfriend was always on my side.

 

 

[GanymedeRex]

I think it can work , but it rarely does in actuality.  I'm married to a wonderful wife.  She knows about me and would probably let me go have fun with a dude, but to me, my family and her are more important. My desire for family stability is greater than my (majority) sexual desires.  Part of being grown up is sacrifice. For me its worth it.  As  a kid, its different - then I'd tap everything in sight!