Ashi

Hindsight is always 20/20, you know, so don't get too hung up with it. It is Autumn after all (at least in northern hemisphere), the season of change. It's okay to feel what you are feeling and you might feel selfish with it. You know, everyone is self-centered in some way. Some you feel is selfish, but others don't and vice versa and everyone has their own growth pattern. I mean while I figured out some of the stuff you mentioned in this post some times ago (I was an introspective wallflower, then become the pollenizing social butterfly, and then wallflower again), there are other areas you're more mature than me. It's just the way it is. If we see our friends based on only a handful of "dots" that we focus more on, then they might indeed appear to be selfish, egotistical in ways that we would not (or perhaps should not) see. The more dots we get to learn from each other, the more complete (and accurate) picture we'll end up seeing. So explore. Some people you dismissed on the first round, may end up being the best of friends. Your music can't be played in the U.S.... Anyways. I found this song.

Thank you both for the kind words. It is a metaphor of some sort (I think it's an allegory), Asam, though it's a true event. I was using the true event to allude to a "what-if" event, so it's the reverse of a typical allegory. I forgot to add a crucial line at the end. Don't you think it's a grand irony they should have the same name? I think I will try to put this into the story which is meant to be my final, very mature work, as a detail that alludes back to the main story line to reinforce a concept. *eats chocolate Asam offered* Zombie, she was having him put to sleep because of his aggressive behavior. The owner told me very specifically. The vet bills of her two other cats due to the injury caused by George are too substantial and that's the reason. She was very convicted to put him to sleep..., she didn't want to negotiate with me, and she wouldn't tell my parents herself. My parents are still speculating why George hasn't come back yet from the vet.

I voted almost all of them except for dance and coaching. Well, the thing is, I am not good at many of them, but don't mind doing them. I don't like sweating, but don't mind get my hands dirty for some reason. I usually just try my best and I am a lousy swimmer, bad runner, couldn't paint anything good and haven't practiced singing for good many decades so when I do sing, it's out of tune. I just don't mind doing them. It has always been the way I am. Jack of all trades, but master of none is who I am (except for a couple things), but I always try my best. Oh, I would answer the question differently about sports if it's contact sport. Can't do contact sport.... Not that I am good at throwing balls either, but I don't mind doing that with someone I care either. I should play tennis a little more....

OMG, it's Tranq's birthday and I missed it. Sorry. Happy belated.

Happy birthday. I remember reading his posts a few years back, when I was really a writer (but don't chat), not a chatter like now (but don't write).

Today, I had to tell Georgie George had died. I wonder if he understands what that means. Perhaps to him, it just means the ginger cat won't be here to compete with him anymore. A triumphant story of the undercat, or it seems. Georgie had overseen the death of two cats. One is my own cat. When Georgie came along, my father shifted the affection toward Georgie and my own cat died slowly out of depression (and he just quietly sit on my lap the day before, and finally accepted my affection). Then George came along. My father once again, liked the newer cat, and Georgie suffered the same injury my own cat endured because of his aid. And now George is put to death by his legal owner (our cross door neighbor), I wonder how Georgie would feel. He had been both the mistress which accelerated the death my own cat, and through the act of karma, he was also the bullied. Except this time, he outlived his bully. Is he really happier to be a survivor? Isn't that a twist of fate? Both cats who died were remarkably beautiful cats. That also makes me wonder if being beautiful really has any effect on our final destination. After all, life is fragile, an anomaly. My cat suffered through depression (no matter how much I loved him, he just couldn't overlook that my father preferred Georgie), and George happily meowed and leaped into his legal owner's hands, into his death. No matter which way, depressed or happy, they are both beautiful goners. The plain Georgie outlived them both. Be gracious we are still alive, because we'll never know how the fate could turn on a whim. I still don't have the heart to tell my parents that the cross door neighbor took him to vet to get a vaccine is really a euphemism to have him euthanized (how could she lied to my mom and then told me what she was about to do, and told me not to tell my mom?). At the same time I have to endure the terrible secret in me. I know if I don't tell my parents eventually, it will kill me to see two bowls of kitty kibbles being filled every morning, but only one bowl will be bothered.

Happy Birthday Brian. Stay safe man.

I like the new direction. We should all write more about stuff happens in our daily life. There can be so much detail filled in it if we draw from some stuff we have passion (or hate with a passion). Have you watched Margin Call yet? In term of story arch, it's bland, but the issues discussed are very nicely written. The characters feel like they could be someone you know.

Ooh, ice cream! Why are we talking about ice cream again? <-- reference to another thread.

Happy birthday. May you return to play more games at the forum.

Happy birthday, Foopy!

Best wish to you W_L.... I think it happens everywhere, unfortunately. But best luck to you.

No.... If he/she turns out to be gay, it's fine. But I won't plan it. Oh..., you changed the question. Well, don't know.

LOL! That's a hard one. I had a Snuggle Bear when I was a kid. I lost it though....

Oh, no. Are you recovering from the break up now? Anyways, whatever you learned from the experience is yours to keep. I think this is going to sound wrong... and make me sound like awful, but there are people here that are similar in age as you, so perhaps you can like..., move forward with a new boyfriend? Perhaps that'll help?

Les Feuilles Mortes (Dead Leaves) by Yves Montand (English subtitled) EDIT: Sorry, forgot to mention something, the lyrics of the French song was written by poet Jacques Prevert, and was featured in a French film, Les Portes de la Nuit, which premiered in 1946, after WWII. Moon River sung by Audrey

Ooh Child - The Five Stairsteps All by Myself - Eric Carmen Rachmaninoff's Concerto No. 2 is also one of my favorites of classical work. (From Songfacts.com) Eric Carmen said he couldn't imagine Rachmaninoff was happy when he wrote Concerto No. 2 and Symphony No. 2. I read a few books on Rachmaninoff, so he was partially right. I remember he had just recovered from a deep depression prior to his completion of Concerto No. 2. He dedicated that score to Nikolai Dahl who helped him overcome his writer's block.

Don't you have only one unemployment benefit option just once in your life time? So exercise it wisely. I hope you'll find a job soon. And please feel free to chat with us in the mean time.

May you have a very happy birthday.

I know..., when did our burb boy become disadvantaged?

The_Round_One Everybody already said most of the stuff I wanted to say. Just give it another chance. Chatting can be like lottery. Sometimes the experience is good, sometimes it's just intimidating that I wish I would disappear into thin air. My first time in chat was fortunately okay, but my second time in chat I didn't feel very comfortable. Sometimes it's just like that. I don't know if you were present when one of the regular was in the room and we were sort of yelling at him (though it's out of compassion). He constantly mentions about his weight and none of us are really dissing him because of that fact. I sometimes self-ridicule about my own age saying I am so old and stuff, and that made some older members angry sometimes. But you know, don't take it personally. Just give it a round two, okay? I don't know if you were in the room when we were talking about people's chatting age. It happens. We're all younger in chat room. And I preemptive greet people. People tend to be more friendly toward you if you show some friendliness first. If they still don't. Well, the ocean is big enough. Come back another time when you find someone you are more comfy with was in the room. And these words come from someone who was (and still is somewhat) painfully shy in social setting.

Maybe we should separate author points with forum points? It doesn't make sense that posts and stories are rated in the same way, so I am on similar side with Yettie and Stellar, though I am mostly a forum poster. Though my blog posts are definitely more elaborated and thought through than my forum posts.... Just saying....

I had a conversation with the Author Formerly Known as Q and I just remembered this song....

(For best experience, please watch each video clip in order it is inserted before moving onto the segment that follows it) It was September 4, 2012 when I saw him: George Moscone, or the likeness of him, in San Francisco Museum of Art (SFMOMA). The livid color attracted me, and his smile, as if he was alive and happy. I took a look of the inscription that puts him on the pedestal: Harvey Milk Too Twinkies Danny Boy! Diane Feinstein Becomes Mayor Without thinking much, I took a black and white photo of him, along with a painting of him with my camera and brought the film home (yes, a film camera). Days later, after I received the scanned photos on a CD, I reviewed that photo of him more closely. Who was that man, and who made the sculpture of him. Sure, I have some rudimentary knowledge that he was the mayor of San Francisco, and he was assassinated along with Harvey Milk, both key figures in gay history, or at least in California, but I would like to know more about the inspiration of the art. As an artist myself, I believe the purpose of art is to promote thinking. Certainly the inscription on the pedestal is a good starting point of that thought process. I Googled "Portrait of Moscone Robert Arneson." Now, 30 years after the piece riled a San Francisco still raw from the 1978 killings of Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk , "Portrait of George" is coming home to the city that commissioned then rejected it . * * * Then-Mayor Dianne Feinstein directed the Arts Commission, which had commissioned the piece and paid Arneson half of the $37,000 fee, to reject it unless he agreed to change the pedestal. In 2000, now-Sen. Feinstein told Chronicle staff writer Mike Weiss that because of the pain and polarization in the city after the Jonestown massacre, the assassinations and the White Night riots, "I did not feel it was appropriate public art at the time. And I felt and feel very strongly about Gina (Moscone) and the family and what they had gone through." Arneson , who was known for his irreverence and comic bite and obviously wasn't going to cast a heroic bronze , refused to alter the piece and returned the fee . [ 1 ] It was a different time. A time in history when public figures murdered in cold blood was considered a shocking, unthinkable event. It was the year I was born, which makes it even more unreal, as I don't think it's that far back in time. The murder of the San Francisco mayor reminds me of the movie Milk, which is focused on Harvey Milk who was murdered along with him by Dan White. [media] People left comments on the video reflecting anger over the questionable judiciary system, with Dan White was only convicted and sentenced for five years in prison for the murder of two men. The possibility of a movie made about Dan White surfaced, as it is dramatic in its own right, through the eyes of a murderer. Why he killed Moscone and Harvey Milk? How is that possible to carry out in broad light in city hall? Was he suicidal in prison as his defense lawyer and prison supervisors would make the public believe? Was the crime conducted out of political reason, or as speculated, because he was a homophobe? What was the cause and reason for his eventual suicide, two years after he was out of prison? Or was that a result of street justice? Was it really a murder out of diminished capacity (temporary insanity plead, with too much sugary consumption? Twinkie Defense) or is it premeditated as reported by homicide detective Frank Falzon? So many questions, and so many possibilities. No matter what the answers are, the people are angry. [media] It was an interesting mental journey back in time. A piece of gay history. And it was all because of a bust with graffiti-like inscription on its pedestal.

You look more butch in this photo than that salmon shirt you had on.