Cia

This is a great poem, and so fitting for a parent. That bond between father and daughter is very sacred. I'm so glad you shared this.

To say nothing of your own work, tsk tsk! Aren't you done with your serial yet? I've let several chapters build up because I just hate waiting. Hurry up! *stalks you*

I find I like wolves more for the same reason. More primal, right? I like a mix of modern/fantasy with were-creature types, hence my Carthera. For this I went very old mythos with this story and hung it on certain aspects of actual Dacian mythology, with a good fiction twisting. However, one point that relates to your story. The men who were at the clearing at 'Hunters', the lupes that police their kind. Stelian's haitas pretty much makes up their numbers because they are the oldest and most powerful lupes, many of them well over a thousand years old, if not more, such as Phell, before he went bad. Some lived in the old country and saw hultans first hand, the others I did envision with that warriors air of companionship, sitting around the fire (or bar) and telling old stories of battles and dominance displays. Those who were there would have known about hultans. However, just because I equated those aspects together, doesn't mean I related it to the reader. Thanks for pointing that out, I'll work on it. I really appreciate the review. I love it when people like the story but I always like to have aspects that can be improved for the next story.

I laughed when I edited this and I laughed when I read it again. I love how absolutely impossible you make the story sound when you write stuff and then have this spin so that I don't think the story is completely improbable or too silly for words.

Okay, you lost me when you hit the drunk bar scene. It was just too 'oh my god, let's be even bigger idiots'. I like the premise of your story I just couldn't get past the overdone BMOC, slut girlfriend, and nerdy roommate characters.

I like your overall story plan here, with the flashes, however, I found them to be contradictory at various places. Like when you have the scene where he wakes up in a forest, and then you said he woke up in a field. Can't have both usually. Most of the time spaces inside a forest would be a clearing. Then you have him waking up as a beggar and you say he remembers nothing, and then you have him remember patches of the woman, the courthouse (which hadn't even happened yet in the flashes you showed us) and the gate. Those inconsistencies happened quite a bit in the story and confused me beyond the already disjointed story style. If it had a bit better of a flow with those types of errors removed, I would have enjoyed it more I think.

Very sneaky spy and adrenaline intent for your plot. However, I found the delivery kept me from really enjoying the story. Your punctuation was all over the place and I had a hard time seeing the characters as 'in character'. For example, the beginning part of the story has the doctor updating the project status and he says, much more safer. Usually a highly educated doctor would be more eloquent and follow proper grammar rules. Do some writing rules/english grammar research, I am always finding new rules I am breaking since English is such a complicated language.

Yes, after I finished this story, I was in the works on a second for the anthology that I just couldn't finish on time because this story was nagging at me that it needed to continue. I want more as well, I think Tucker and Stelian have a lot more to say and do. As soon as I have the time to get back to them, you'll see them return! Thanks so much for the review hun!

Kinky and creepy all mixed up into a wonderfully suspenseful tale. I loved it the first time and the second, though usually twincest gives me the shudders, lol. Great job, as always!

A very complex fantasy, you did a great job with your 'fan-fiction'.

I really like the emotions you created with this character and the visuals, all without really describing anything. Psychic painter indeed.

I understood (snickers, sorry) and wow, Nephy, you're umm... strong! Yeah, we'll go with being amazed at the strength to hold on to something enough to dislocate your own shoulder. Uh huh, that's the aspect to 'push' on the whole situation.

Well, this is sort of alternate earth/evolution as a story base, which is why I made it a fantasy, but yes, I do plan to show more of the history in this story, along with a few present day problems for both guys, and all the complications a new relationship brings to it, even one that starts out so instantly bonding as a Carthera mate bond. After all... that's just not human, right? I don't want to give too much away so I'll leave it at that. I'm glad you like the story and the series overall, that gave me a huge smile because the world is my favorite to go to when I write as well! Thanks for the review John!!

Sometimes I'll get this surge of 'oh my god that's so great' when reading or watching stuff and I get a little teary eyed. I rarely actually cry in those moments though. I cry in sadness in stories a lot, some movies, though not as much as reading. When I had my kids I cried. Not quite sure if those were tears of, oh thank god, that hurt so much and it's mostly over relief, or pure joy at seeing them finally, but those moments are forever ingrained on me.

Welcome, InTheMindOfSunshine, and Sorgbarn! It's always great to have new writers and readers (especially those who will review) sign up!

Yep, too cruel to be kind. I'll admit to finding stories with biting involved can be intensely erotic, if it's done right. Hopefully, I'll keep it in that vein Another chapter will be loaded in the next few days, never fear!! Thanks for the review Nephy!!!

Of course he does. Snakes a beautiful, deadly creatures. We should respect them, but not automatically fear them. I'm playing with that in this story as well. Dav... well, he's too hot not to want to play with, lol! You'll find out who is at the door in the next chapter, promise!! Thanks for the review hun!

Yep, Ellis and Dav. Human and Snake. Lifesaver and Lifetaker. They have quite the journey ahead. I'll post a new chapter soon. Most likely not in 2 days like this one, but soon Thanks for the review!!

"It's not noon yet, are you hungry? I could order some breakfast." Dav smiled when my stomach growled. "Sounds like you're ready to eat something. I skipped dinner last night; I could swallow a whole ham I think." I stared at him in shock, wondering if he could do that. Carthera had traits from their animal kinds; I had seen his fangs. Unhinging his jaw would just be freaky though it might help when... I felt my face grow hot as I blushed. Gods, I was becoming Matthew. Dav laughed qu

Well someone was ticked off. I would have liked a bit more background on the ghost and who it could have been, rather than some nameless ancestor but all in all, a great short story.

Again... just more further in the lives of the characters. Small amount of drama when speaking to the friend with the gay brother but overall... just a good chapter. I'm waiting for something to begin to happen though, some sort of gradual build in the tension or angst or overall plot of the story now that we have a good idea of the characters and their lives. Glad you'll be posting more soon. Thanks for the good read!

Good chapter, we get to see more of all the characters, get more background and see how they are all going about their lives. You have the teenager, awkward, horny character traits down, lol. Question though, how do you wince audibly? I couldn't get past that and read it several times. You can make a disapproving sound or gasp or something, but a wince is a silent reaction unless you add 'ow' to it usually.

I like the explanations we were given, it makes sense about Evan being part of the gang and yet not part. I don't know how well the logic of 'let's spread around that you really are gay to prevent trouble' will go over though. Seems like that might be a bad idea and Xander is going to need a lot more rescuing. Lots of angst possible. We'll see what you do with it though. Two things I saw I wanted to mention. Both go down to characterization and how you share that. First, you have Conner strolling into his room when Xander is taking a nap. With how you describe how he is looking and the incidents, I don't know that 'strolling' is how I would describe anyone's walk. What words we use, stalk, walk, stroll, tiptoe, gives your character a different emotional/physical vibe to the reader. The second was how you keep your characters, 'in character'. I.E. when you have Jared tell Xander that he thinks Evan is creepy and to be careful and then right before they get off the phone he implies that maybe Evan will do naughty things with him. Why would he want his friend to do naughty things with a guy he thinks is creepy? Just a few thoughts anyway, hope they help.

LOL. Are you okay? Seriously, good job on the plotting out your story. You never know, as you write, it might gain in length. Sometimes I actually look for 10-15k stories because they only take about 20 minutes to read. Perfect for commuters too. I feel for you on the birthday text. My father in law calls before 6 am EVERY year for my husband. Fine during weekdays if he's working because he gets up at 5 am but on a weekend? C'mon!! Maybe you can take a nap later. Oh, and happy b-day btw!

I'm so glad you love the stories! These characters are ones I really liked off the bat too, so I hope you will continue to really feel for the story. Thanks for the review!!