John Doe

Agreed. The same could be said of us. Do we go to Amazon and write a review for every book we read? I bet most of us don't. Some authors out there are as talented as some who have not been published and being a published writer does not mean that you are above the criticism of the mass public. But again we are not required to write a review for all the books we buy and read... as should our readers. I admit I have read quite a few stories on here and I haven't comment on much stories. I read and finsihed one or two but I'm just too busy in school and work and social life... along with reading books and novels. Writing a review takes time. Yeah a minute or two isn't a lot but it is when you have other things to do, it just seems like too much work. Plus if I was to "really write" a review it'd take me a good ten minutes. All my reviews consist of my initial feelings of reading the work, which I deem as pretty shallow coming from the perspective of the author. Anyone can say they like and dislike something. *shrugs* But I guess knowing that overall is better than not hearing anything. As much as we want every single reader to read our stories and leave a comment, it's not going to happen and it shouldn't be a requirement. For some, it takes the pleasure out of the reading. For others, it's like your aunt who bakes a cake and after eating it she keeps asking how the cake was just to fish out a compliment and you find yourself sitting on her couch rolling your eyes at her back.

If it's done right, there will be no complaints. You'll know if you didn't pull the offensive language off. We read a short story in my class about a father who molested his daughter and the duaghter was the narrator. The molestation is told in great detail. One was how she got her first orgasm when she was 8. She said something about... if you think a girl at 8 can't have orgasms then let me dispel that disbelief for you... and the details just supported it. It was unsettling and disgusting but yet it worked. That stuff is taboo and yet the way it was written worked. The author was walking a thin line but she pulled it off. She made the molestation work. It seemed right with her story. Any topic that's taboo or anything that can be read off as offensive is okay, it's the execution that counts. If it's executed poorly, then there'll be lynch mobs, accusations of being a racist or the story itself being racist or a supremist one way or another. Write it. I'll you like to know. I'll tell you if it works or not if you want to hear it. Just you may need a skin of steel to hear my opinions. But I tell what I think and usually I don't think I am wrong.

Do you have intentions of finishing or not finishing? You said there likely won't be a second chapter but you want readers? Can you clarify your intentions? I would read it but if it's not going to be a complete story... I find it very uncompelling to read it.

Chapter 5 is right here. Enjoy! Sorry about the wait.

80!!!!!!! And you are on the internet, browsing and crusing through a forum! You are more tech-literate than my parents who are in their 40's or more so than most of my readers who haven't ever posted a comment or post. (yes I am talking about you who is reading this and then goes on without saying anything...drop a line... just say hi.... anything ) The pressures of the current culture is there, I'm just not choosing to reflect that side as it's not a focal point of my story. I am picking and choosing the details I want to show. Susan and Kyle (in the story) are some of the current figures representing those current pressures... but I only give readers a glimpse to shape my written world. But you are right... your time period of growing up is a lot harsher and curel than now. In an age where gay folks like us have NO equality of any kind must have been hard. Heck black folks then had no rights. I can't even fathom the life in that age. But because of people like you who has lived this long and is telling us seach details makes me feel a bit better. Even now when we fight for our rights, I can hope that it will get better, even if not in my time era but those who come after me, as they have changed for you. Hope! Do not give up hope. Hope is all we have left. *ahem* We can only wish for the best. Yes I know, some of us at times are looking for stories to make us forget about the world we live in, but some stories are meant to give us a glimpse of a world we will (or may, may be a better word) never see. I know we want happy endings, but to learn something from a story and to see a change in a character from beginning to end (growth) that in itself gives me a sense of accomplishment. This is a coming of age story and I keep stating that... and sometimes an "unhappy" ending is the lesson learnt for the future. So with that being said... I'm not saying what kind of ending this story will have, but I urge you to continue to read and find out.

Very true and I understand that, and thanks for clarifying. It is my personal belief that an author retains all rights when concerning the online world. We are gracing them with our stories. Without us they have no stories to share. Yes anyone can write but very few of us can write well and those of us who write well care a lot more about our own stories. Stories that is ours and should be used at our discretion not theirs. Things like title changes and what not is not for them to decide. From the exchanges of conversation the moderator there wouldn't know literary work if it crash into him like the shinkansen. He'll think the smut filled crap there at Nifty is just as good (yes I'm exaggerating but I'm annoyed). But again your point is true about volume. But since I do not write for the purpose of a lot of readers, I write to get better at writing. Once I'm good and great, that in itself will lead readers over to my work. Nifty does has a lot of readers but I like GA for the more interactive forum.

It's still the old format. I can't seem to add it to my smaller pictures, but I guess I'll just keep it as is for now and change it when I come to write more stories and hopefully I can figure out how to work it better then.

hmmm i don't know how to add permission.... strange

I can open them fine. I don't know what else to do. But basically there is a confusion in who is speaking in most of your dialogue. Graeme and I both picked up on it. Maybe it'd be something to edit. Tags and such are nice to fix that confusion.

Cannot find a way there... Edits 1.rtf

Edits.pdf Work this time?

This aint working for me anymore. It did the first time but after resizing my images I cant do it anymore. It's prefilled in the URL but not link text. Opposite. Help? Am I just doing it wrong?

Apreggio I'm with you. I'm one month too... haha

Here are my comments. Hopefully I'm clear. I apologize if I overstepped my bounds. You were asking for advice and comments and I am giving them to you mine. Edits.pdf

There is nothing wrong with having speech inbetween sentences as long as the speech is from the same speaker. This part here doesn't work because it seems like there is an actual coversation. You start a new paragraph with every new speaker. You can't lump them together into one paragraph even though it's the same subject. Remember that grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure is all part of the art and craft of writing. You can control the pacing of the story with these tools. But there are rules to follow too to make the reading is clear and precise. So to answer your question and to repeat... there is nothing wrong with inserting speech into a summary or detailed paragraph only if it's one speaker. If there is another speaker do not put it in the same paragraph. It's a novice mistake and it also adds confusion as the reader has to figure out who is doing what talking and the moment the reader has to do that then it takes them out of the story being told and once the reader is out of the story world they can very well put the story down or away and you have a possibility of losing a reader there.

License Legal stuff: Authors retain rights to and title to their submitted works. By submitting a work, the author grants the Nifty Archive a non-exclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, and non-cancellable license to display the work. (If this is unacceptable, please contact us to discuss your concern.) Authors may license their stories to other publishers, but that does not revoke the license granted to the Nifty Archive. Authors may reclaim the license granted to Nifty by replacing a story with an equivalent story appropriate for display in the Nifty Archive, or by making a contribution to the Nifty Archive of equal value in another form. The maintainers of the Archive will respect requests for changes to stories, to attribution, and/or to email addresses in the Archive by the original author of the work. Decisions to honor requests to remove a work from public display are determined on a case-by-case basis. This does not nullify, terminate, or revoke any license granted to the Nifty Archive. Updates and changes will propagate to all Nifty mirror sites within a day or two. Only submit a story if you are the author or explicitly have permission from the author to submit the story for display on Nifty. Do not remove or replace another author's or poster's attribution from a story submission. __________________________________________ This here is Nifty's disclaimer. This is a bunch of bull****. I have made up my mind. I will no longer post my story there. They can have the chapters I have posted there but if I can't retain my rights to my full work you can bet your ass they won't get the full work. There's a bit of contradiction in their statement. It says the license is non exclusive but also states that they have the right to maintain and leave the story up as they please... and should consider each case by case. Non exclusive is non exclusive meaning authors should be able to request their stories be taken off without any questions, ifs, ands, or buts. Yeah sounds like scam talking to me and I don't like any of that stuff. I'll be sending an email out to all my fans. I'm done with that place.

I abosolutely agree. And like many have said Nifty is going down the drain. Most readers who read there should read elsewhere (but guess those who read there should stay there, it's the ones with intellect and curiosity for expansion of their minds that should go elsewhere). Majority of those works deals with getting their rocks off. If you are reading for that reason might as well go watch porn. It irratates me to no ends that I get readers who email me about that smut. I have stated before that I will NOT put that stuff in and don't bother to email me about that kind of crap but I still get emails about it. Then it makes sense because those readwers reflect nifty... and that's for sure as a hell not a compliment. Back to nifty... I am done with that site for the most part. Really I don't even want to post there and as a writer we should be able to pull our story from the site no matter what like Lugh has siad but the admin who runs the site thinks he is God and demands more from us writers. The hell he is and you can bet your ass an author will always retain rights to the story unless sold. He didn't give us monetary compensation, we are allowing him to post our stories for momentary reasons, and it's just that. We do not owe him any favors. I don't care how quirky he is, doesn't mean I should bend over backwards so people can steal my story.

I like to idealize my creatures... humaniod or otherwise... hmmm my favorite humanoid ones would be merfolk and Nymphs (and I say there's a male counterpart too hehe.... idealize....ya ). Creature wise... I'd say the thunderbird and kitsune (9 tailed fox of Japanese mythology) and Nessie (the Loch Ness *ahem* Creature.... I was always fascinated with that creature as a child. For the evil (misunderstood) creatures I like harpies (and I imagine them like angels but ugly skin and feathery appearence and with taloned feet) and succubi and incubi... creatures... kraken and manticore.

Happy borned day!

Working on the next chpater hopefully I can get it out by this coming Friday. Sorry! Food Stamps... my room mate was telling me that I actually qualify for that... so don't even tempt me. Though I'm not that desperate yet. I don't want to abuse the lovely government system that we have here. Ha. But thanks for showing that you guys care. Much love appreciated.

I regretted a few of my one night stands. Well most. There was one or two that I can say I enjoyed and did not feel horrible or bad. Now I am looking for someone serious, if I can ever find the person. I am picky and yeah a bit shallow (in the appearance department and demeanor) I admit but what can I say... I'm being honest. So I'm single at the moment and I can't really complain. Heh. But people who sleep around a bit... some of them just do. Most I believe are trying to fill a void in their life... in one shape or another. As humans we all do. Friends for family. Beliefs for values. Material items for feelings. Vice versa for all. So that doesn't make anyone any different. You can object but simply it's the honest truth... and there is nothing wrong with it. Unless of course the "invisible line" is crossed.

Yeah but decisions are hard for people, heh. Thank you for writing a post!!! And thanks for reading!

Funny how I learned so many things in the span of a few months... I like your banner Jonathan. I just made mine. First time ever making something like that. It was an experience. I should thin my picture a bit though since everyone's is... and seems to look better. But gonna let it be for the moment as I worked a few hours on it.

Thanks I figured it out! You're awesome! I was confused about the part of where to insert the link. I thought I was suppose to insert it into the preinserts... (the little icons for adding link and image click on those and then add the string in). But you just patse it directly into the signature box. Thanks for your help. Hopefully I can make a decent banner.

Sorry I might be annoying. Which URL part? In the Insert image part or insert link part? And what do you mean image tag? I tried inserting in both places and it doesn't work... that google link i mean. Sorry I'm being annoying...