Bleu

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I really liked Long Beach when I went there. I have a friend who works at the Aquarium of the Pacific, and some of her colleagues took part in a "It gets better" video.

I just Skyped with him and he mentioned this. Thanks for the nice thought, Mark I looked for this thread in his forum but couldn't see it since it's in the Lounge . If any one of you wants to email him, you can do so by going to his profile and click on the "Click here to email me" button in the Contact information section, or by following this link. Edited: Thanks again, Mark

[Review from jian_sierra ] This tugged at my heart. Almost brought tears on my eyes too! It was nicely done with the emotions embedded in each and every word. Short but effective.

[Review from jian_sierra ] When they bumped noses with their foreheads together, I was smiling a lot. It was just so sweet! But once again, of course, you just have to have your bitter sweet ending. I'm not complaining, just highlighting it. It was very well done. The emotions are very much felt for sure. Thanks!

Thanks for providing us with more background information on your situation. Take your time to ponder the advice that was given above. Graeme's lengthy response is very helpful because it allows to see both sides of the situation: if you are to come out to your wife and want to preserve the future, you will have to deal with this together, as a couple.

A lot of good advice has been given already. Honesty and commitment to your family should be your main concerns, but of course if you suffer too much from your situation then you need to consider making some changes, however painful they may be. I don't want to play Dr Phil here, but there was one thing that struck me in the way you described your situation. Not so much in what you said, but rather in what you didn't say: you didn't say one word about your wife, about what you feel for her, about what she represents in your life. Each person is different, of course, but while I was married, I was deeply in love with my wife, and that was enough to satisfy me. Although we both knew that I leaned more towards men, it was completely irrelevant because I would not have thought of cheating on her. So I guess the question you need to ask yourself is whether you love her... or, as MikeL puts it "How important are your wedding vows to you?", what do they truly mean?

We had lots of fun. Looking forward to the next one.

Yup.... well the delayed publication thing did not work as I expected Umm, how about that next date?

Excellent! Still the same line of work? I'm actually considering a few changes along those lines myself, so I understand your predicament

It was great seeing you again and it is very good to hear that the plans of moving to the Czech Rep. are coming along. Take care

We all have heard about and pondered —or maybe later regretted not pondering enough— the traditional question: How far should one go on a first date? You know... the awkward first date, when you want to show the guy that you like him without appearing too forward / clingy / horny. You want to find the right balance that will demonstrate both interest and respect, that will keep him focused on you while leaving all options open on the scale of "How about another date one of these days?" to "Will you marry me?". The practical aspects of the questions are what happens beyond the yet again traditional dinner + movie scenario: any touching and if so, how much? Any kissing? Any...? You get the picture. Under the current circumstances, I think I have found my own answer. For my next first date, this is how far I am willing to go: Right now, as this is being posted —provided I didn't mess up with the delayed publication settings— I should be somewhere between two continents, on my way to the said date. Too late to chicken out of this one... not that I ever planned to do that. I wish we both find in the other one what our long-distance relationship has promised so far. There is so much that is Promising about this guy .

I think Frosti's comment says it best. Beautiful and intense.

@Jian: I know these are not truly lies, there are more aspects that one skips without going into details. But sometimes, I wish it could be completely natural to say what I truly feel. Thank you for your wishes. Erm... maybe you could actually help making some of those "good things for the upcoming years" come true, what say you? @Maria: yeah, I was glad for her reaction. I'm sure she knew that making them aware of my new relationship was the real reason I invited them over. My father probably had no clue @Cia: I completely agree. I don't intend on being the token "out and proud gay guy" at work, but I've been used to my close co-workers knowing about my personal life, and it feels wrong that it should change because the person in my life is now a man and not a woman. @Vic: thanks, and as you say, I don't expect that "coming out" will end any time soon. @Bob: I don't see it as problematic as that. I think that the only problem so far is that most people haven't seen/sensed the transition whereas I fully feel it . And yeah... that's a nice vision. There are quite a number of romantic spots over here and it will be a real pleasure to take him to all of those. @Nephy: thanks, and I don't think there's anything wrong either. @Paya: I agree with you. Even here it is going to be a long way away to be fully accepted.

Mark, you are not the sum of your past hardships or of what life threw at you. You are what you have inside: warmth, generosity, attention to others... What we see through chat, that outgoing, loving person is what you can truly transform yourself into. Confidence is a long way in coming... it only builds up slowly, but you will get there, especially with the help that love provides. Believe in yourself We believe in you.

I thought today would be a good time to look at the past year. I came out to my parents exactly a year ago. So, even though I had previously come out to a handful of friends (including my future wife) in 1995, I take this date as a major step towards switching from the straight lifestyle I had maintained up to that point. Overall this new episode in my personal life feels quite good. By this, I mean that I am happy with how I have changed over the past year and a half, acknowledging the gay side which I had kept in the closet for so long, meeting other gay people, enjoying the GA stories and community, etc. One of my close co-workers is a lesbian and I get to talk freely with her, which helps anchor my feelings into reality instead of having them contained to the virtual world. I can speak freely with my siblings as well; they are very understanding. Over the past year I also experimented with the ups and downs of gay dating. I had crushes on a few guys, again with some good and some bad experiences. But to be honest, most of my gay life is not in plain sight. Those I'm not yet out to (most of my workmates, more distant family members and friends) still see me as a widower who will soon find another woman and raise a family. So far, there was nothing that really called for an explanation of my love life, but that may change in the near future. I have tried to come out to the closest people in my life but it hasn't always been easy: some close friends live far away and it's an issue I'd rather discuss face-to-face. When I saw one of my best friends recently, his young daughter was around all the time and it didn't feel proper to come out in front of her. A similar missed opportunity with another friend, who is quite gay-friendly, also left me disappointed. Sometimes, it really gnaws at me that I still have to lie about it. On Friday, one of the secretaries at work was asking about my upcoming vacation, and she went "Oh, they have very beautiful girls, there, you know...". I really had to bite my tongue not to spell things out for her. But it's a bit premature, especially since I've fallen in love with someone I have yet to meet in real life. And we are not close neighbours, to say the least. The most moving change happened quite recently when my parents came up from the country to visit me. They know there is a new significant person in my life now, not because I told them as much, but because of some decisions I've taken which can only be explained by it. So when my mum saw a framed picture of John next to my computer and asked, in a soft tone, "Is that your boyfriend?", I could only nod and say "uh huh". Of course, I had put the picture there for them to see. But that the term "boyfriend" would come from her first, and not from me, I had not expected... and even though the conversation that ensued did not much go into details, it warmed my heart.

Baskerville Italic! I like that Ok, I'll admit it, I had to try it twice to get that. The first time I got Courier! :wacko:

Hmmmm, ok.... He might get a reprieve..... *Sigh* - I'm too soft to be a revolutionary

Westie! I shall have no business with counter-revolutionaries like yourself. Pseudo royal pretenders deserve to be guillotined :2hands: Long live the Revolution!

What's with that talk of royalty on a thread dedicated to the glorious French Revolution? Off weez zeir 'eads :fire: :2hands:

Thanks Mark. The weather was not that great this morning so I had to cancel our picnic in the park, but now the sun has come out. It will be a dry night for the fireworks displays. The last time I was at Place de la Bastille was 3 weeks ago at the end of the gay pride parade.

12 members have joined the group so far. If you're still planning on coming, drop Johnathan a PM. The clock is ticking by

Erm, well, my first dream was to be a philosopher and writer: quite deep for an 8 year old . Then I wanted to be a teacher. Later on, when I was 12, I focused on becoming an astronomer and this dream lasted almost until the end of high school. But all that time I had been fascinated with history, so I majored in history and became a librarian instead.

Hehe, I hope so. My heart is set on one single goal for the time being

I don't know about next year, but we'll see what I do at my November marathon first Maybe I'll try for 3h40 instead of 3h10. New, achievable goal