Bleu

It's a wonderful thing to see you evolve from post to post. It's taking you days and weeks where it takes most people months and years. Granted, you're getting all the right advice and support over here. But still... Love can move mountains, so when you feel ready for it, you will be able to come out to your family, with Mr. P by your side. I do feel honoured to be mentioned here. The advice I come up with generally arises from common sense, not from any personal experience. If anything, I believe that you now have more experience about gay love and gay life than I do. But I will acknowledge that I have *some* experience of love... and also of sorrow, which makes me aware of what's important in life. Keep on that same path, you're doing great.

How come? Injury? Rugby can be a lot of fun too... It's considered quite the gentleman's sport over here. Plus, there is some eye candy to be had there, if the Paris team and their Dieux du stade calendar is anything to go by. Yeah... they keep in shape alright!

Glee is still not available in France. A cell phone company just bought the rights to broadcast it over mobile devices. As for TV it looks like we'll have to wait for a while. And before you suggest it, no, Hulu won't allow it to be seen outside the US.

The response to the ad has been generally positive in the gay media here in France. Obviously, some people complained that it wasn't going forward enough, and that the kid should have been out to his father. Frankly, I think it's more realistic the way it is. There are more high-school teenage boys still in the closet, or still questioning who they are, than there are who are out to their families. Besides, the father is not homophobic, he just can't see what's in front of him or fathom a different reality. He certainly isn't the first father to be that way. Apparently, the adverstisement team had come up with a "coming out" scenario as well, but it was discarded

Chase, is this post the result of Google translate gone horribly wrong?

Tim's right: time to report. So, as of this morning, I'm officially under 140lbs, and feeling fantastic about it. I've lost 18lbs in the past year and a half. The scale is showing me numbers I haven't seen since last century! I'll soon feel like I'm 25 again. All this due to regular running (250km in May, more than 700km since the start of the year). I'm also back on the Friday night Fever 20-mile rollerblade race around Paris. I've been feeling good enough about myself to go running shirtless around the park, trying to catch some sun.

West, your post reminded me of the blog post I wrote back in March to out myself to several of my friends. I re-read it recently and I know that I would not write it in the same way today. I still had a lot of explaining to do. The whole thing felt like a long justification of who I was and what had happened in the last 15 years. When I'm going to out myself to someone else next, I'll be using very different words and expressions. I will be much more positive about it. I think that as your relationship grows, and you feel more comfortable with who you are, you're going to look back on this post in a few months and think: did I actually use the word "confession"? Did that not reek of guilt and sin? And you'll rewrite your last sentence so that it doesn't sound like it's taken from some sort of gay AA meeting... something more along the lines of "Hello world, I'm West, I'm gay and I'm absolutely fine with it". I'm not quite there yet, either... but I'm starting to think about it. Happy self-discovery!

Finally! Haha, you two were just too cute, avoiding to name the other one for the past 2 weeks, Mr W(onderful) on one side and Mr P(erfect) on the other. I've been having a quiet chuckle every time I saw a blog update from one of you. Anyway... it looks like things are moving forward quite nicely. Don't rush all the coming out if it doesn't need to be. Think about yourselves first, and the rest will follow. Enjoy the ride... and the love.

In a relationship, fights happen

Love and determination can make you consider giant leaps where baby steps would previously have been daunting. As for the rest, don't rush into it. The less drama and emotion, the better you'll feel about it. So... basically, what Paya said... and listen to your man and see how he feels about it. I'm sure he has his own personal advice if he's been through it as well.

That's the most pathetic excuse ever used to deny someone victory. I would be disgusted if it were done to me, and I would be ashamed if it were my side doing it to a rival school. There is the law (or the rules) and the spirit of the law. When did that coach stop thinking straight ? Over-competition just kills the game.

Well, they do need to classify them as hate crime, because there is a double crime there. As it would be if, say, a gay man was murdered in Arizona for being gay. Meaning, that person was specifically targeted for what he/she was, rather than killed at random. It looks like gay rights are especially lagging behind in the southern part of Africa, where gays of both sexes make perfect scapegoats for the spread of AIDS.

I understand completely. I would definitely always put love before sex. Maybe I just didn't find love in high school and college, hence why I didn't experiment with gay sex either. The idea of saying "I love you" to another boy would have sounded utterly ridiculous then. Sad...

Happy birthday, Graeme !!

Going down the gay road: stage 3. I had a long phone conversation with my best friend from junior high two nights ago. Over the years we have drifted apart and it was a little awkward at first because we had barely exchanged more than a few words for the past 15 years. It's only in the last year that we've been in contact again, thanks to Facebook. Anyway, he's one of a small number of openly gay guys I know in real life that I feel comfortable talking to about my coming out and more generally about the way I feel now. Well, he came up with several good pieces of advice. He shared some of his past and I did the same. I must admit that it surprised me how much different our roads to gay-hood were. For many years in high school and college he was in a loving but strictly platonic relationship with another guy. Love was what he was after

"Love" IS a magical word. It sounds like your guy used it at the right time and to the right effect. Thankfully, there's more to attraction than body/mass index and missing inches (wherever they may be). There's the sparkle in your eyes, the words you say, the enthusiasm in your voice and so many other things. It's time you start seeing yourself through his eyes . Also, you will have a strong ally by your side the day you decide to go forward with the coming out process. Sounds all very good to me. Just give it the time you need to adjust to the new situation.

Happy birthday, Mark!!

Very cute, Paya! And best of luck to you and Mr Mysterious. Two very good friends of mine (straight, but I don't think it matters in any way here) met their current spouse over the internet, and specifically on MMORPG sites. I guess the internet helps meeting people with similar interests. Also, because chatting anonymously makes it easier at first to share things that would be awkward face-to-face, you can reveal a lot of yourself to that person. Crushes do happen quickly. As for real love, I think that it cannot emerge without meeting the person in RL and spending a little bit of time with them. So do get on that plane (the Icelandic volcano is giving everyone a break right now)! Oh, and if you expected this post to make you stop thinking about him, I hope for you and him that it's already proving a failure.

Yay to you, Paya! Isn't it nice when you actually see progress and when you know for sure that all that hard work is paying out? Now, 60 days' worth of membership, and 20 days to get rid of 5.3lbs... You may be looking at shedding another 8-10lbs before the summer is here. I'm almost tempted to ask you what your height is to get a better idea of that progress. Seriously, though, what type of exercises do they make you do?

Well done, Tim! Sometimes, all it takes to change one's food habits is a little push from someone else. I remember when I stopped adding a sugar cube into my favourite hot drink. After a while I even started wondering whether I actually used to do that. Amazing how habits form and hold us prisoners. All we need is to replace them with a healthier habit. Anyway, Gaytron, your encouragement is helping me: I went from 30 sit-ups in the morning to 300 a day. I ran almost 120 miles in April. My weight hasn't gone down much because the soft bits are being replaced by heavier muscle mass. Never mind. It's "fit" that really counts. My next goal is cutting down on the after-dinner half-box of cookies . Yes, I know, it seems like all my teeth are sweet. I need to find that suitable replacement.

Definitely kittens... and they grow into cats, which I love. Puppies only stay cute for a few weeks.

I think that Old Bob's advice is the best you can get. Work on yourself, on discovering who you truly are. Then you will be able to make a more rational decision about what you are to do, and be true to your family/friends when explaining that decision. Like Bob's, my wife accepted me as I was. I chose to stay faithful to her because it suited my situation, my needs, and my personality. But I can understand that others made different decisions, or that life took them in another direction. You don't have to come out of the closet to everyone ; you might just get away with opening the door slightly. But if at all possible do not build your love life and your family life upon a pile of lies.

I got: Your Type is ISFJ Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging Strength of the preferences % 100 1 25 44 My feelings after taking this test: my answers now seem to be very different from what they would have been 5 years ago. I was acutely aware, while entering my answers, that some of them were inconsistent. Also aware that I am more emotionally in tune with my environment than I previously was. It only confirms how confused I am. Working on it though .

Thanks, Sam!

For a few years, concerns about my health took a back-seat compared to more urgent matters so I gained weight and became soft in the middle. Having a very sedentary job doesn't help. I' been running more regularly for about 2 years now, and I'm only just starting to feel better about my weight and general shape. Now that Spring has come I should be doing about 120 miles per month. Recently, I've also gone back to swimming about a mile a week. Hopefully, that will help get rid of the extra 6 or 7 pounds that I still carry around. I hardly drink any sodas. My effort will be on eating less, or reducing the portions.