LJH

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

Thank you Random. I'm glad you enjoy my work. So much can be gleaned from the way a character moves, the way he talks, the way he opens a car door, or a bottle of wine, the way he treats people around him. Trying to put it all into one little chapter of less than 2000 words would have been chapter suicide. I deliberately chose that "stutter" detail because I believe that one good detail is worth a hundred weak ones.

hi Podga, thank you for the comments. I do believe that characterization should have details that create a strong visual image. So that's what I did with Colin. His brother is a little lost in the story, agreed. I'll work on that.

Agreed. But what is it that causes a dog to turn on its master? I would suggest that if the master is cruel to his dog, then the dog will turn. We rely on the condition to be loved. So when a partner turns, is unfaithful, maybe becomes less trusting, we seek those conditions elsewhere. Dogs, amongst themselves, are conditional in a pack. We are the same in a sense. It is an instinctive condition inherent in all of mankind to love and b loved. Without love we are doomed as social creatures. Maybe this is why many people turn to material things to live. Material things dont hurt. They break for sure. But they can always be replaced. A love lost can never b replaced.

Thanks Dave. I think, with my writing, pacing is very important. Even when I edit other writers, pacing is the first thing I look out for. I hope I have given Colin some kind of life. How he spends his life is entirely up to him. He's a loser, no doubt about that. He's also a wimp, even tho he has a strong physical body. I enjoy urban legends but didn't know about Willie Sutton. I shall research him. Thanks for the review, Dave. Hugs and respect.

Thanks so much Jono. Yes, you are right. I cut my sentences down to the bone and leave the reader to fill in the gaps. It's not wrong or right to do it. It's just the way I write. I made some changes in respect for your advice and I hope it reads better now. Hugs and respect.

Thanks Billy. Hmmmm, a lot of my stories are POV bad guy. But that's just the way I plan it. Sometimes the bad guys win, sometimes they lose. In this case, Andrew knows he has the upper hand. He also knows that if he wants in, he's asking for trouble. But even that last line says something about Colin: his little brother wants to follow in his footsteps. There is no right or wrong in this piece. It's merely a character building exercise for me. Thanks for the read and the compliment bru.

Colin stood at the window and the blood ran cold through his veins. His heart beat faster. His fingers tightened on the shiny brass of the window handle. His body trembled from head to toe. Pellets of sweat slipped down his forehead as the truth of the moment hit him like a ton bricks.A hole in the garden, the size of a dustbin lid, lay open for all the world to see, in the exact place he had buried the briefcase.He thought of all the excuses; the lies he could tell to get out of it. Insurance m

Andrew discovers Colin committed a crime. His brother, Andrew, finds out about it and confronts him. This short work shows Colin's reaction.

I love the drama makes me laugh. New series started here last Tuesday. South Africa glued to TV screens LOL

Ray bradbury?

What i am trying to say is this: we are all given parents to guide us and to love us. They do not own us, and we do not own them. But, we do owe our gratitude. Some may say i am wrong, to those i say so be it, are you right? Moms and dads are human and no less than their children. They make mistakes just as we do. Love transcends everything. The more we love, the more we are rewarded. Saying i love you to a mom or dad is not going to hurt one little bit. Try it. Love changes everything.

Moms are special. My mom would be in the kitchen all day cooking. She loved to entertain. There was always avpot of food ready to serve guests. Everyday. And everyday i came home from work she would greet me with the same words: My baby boy is home. Hug me and tell me she loved me. Her last day alive was exactly the same. She was un the kitchen and greeted me. She said she wasnt feeling well and looked pale. She had just come out of hospital a week before, but i knew they had released her because there was nothing they could do for her. She wanted to die at home, not in a hospital. I put her to bed and stayed with her, lay beside her just generally talking about everything when she asked me to rub her back. At this point i had no idea that the attack had begun. She gripped my hand and squeezed it and said she was in so much pain and i gave her a heart tablet. It didnt help. I was so lost. She cried. The pain was so unbearable. I made her ready to take her to hospital and helped herbout of bed, into a nightgown. I remember getting her to the kitchen when she turned and hobbled back to her bed. She collapsed. Ir was hard for her to breathe. Hubby called 10111 and they called an ambulance and paramedics. While we waited hubby phoned the family and soon they began to arrive one by one. Within five minutes the paramedics arrived and took over. They gave her oxygen and an adrenalin injection and as she sat on the edge of the bed i gripped her hand and told her that everything was under control and it was then i told her that i loved her very much. She inhaled deeply and noided her head with a weak smile. They monitored her heart and other things and i could clearly hear her heartbeat. They said they would ready her for transportation to hospital and could hubby and me help get the stretcher from the ambulance. When we returned with the stretcher i couldn't hear her heartbeat. She had flatlined. So i am happy that i told ger i lived her. Maybe i ahould have shown her more love during my life. I miss you mom. So much.

Geoff, please don't drop your laptop! LOL. Ya It's difficult getting into the head of a man who has lost it. That was the challenge for me in this story. Hope you enjoyed it. Hugs n respect