LJH

“Are you sure there is nothing that can be done?” Gary seemed oblivious to the noises in the corridor; of the nurses and doctors milling about in the wards. An overload of disinfectant like surgical spirits assaulted his olfactory system. His rounded, chestnut eyes possessed a fog that resembled a mask of sorrow. The last few weeks had been hell on earth, and each day that passed scarred his unshaven face. He sat outside Brian’s private room, away from the general ward, while the nurses washed

You open your eyes and adjust to the light in the room. An IV drip sends liquids into your body. Machines monitor your progress. “Hi buddy.” Will leans forward and kisses you lightly on the forehead. “Welcome to the land of the living.” Your voice is dry, like sandpaper. “Hi.” You try to lift your amputated arm, but all you feel is a pinch. It feels as the entire arm is there. You try again, the pinch becomes an unbearable sharp pain. “Don’t try to move, Baz. Just be still.” ‘My hand…?"

I began reading it as just a story. As the story gained momentum, I began to read between the lines. Sure enough, I discovered that in a way, we all want acceptance, regardless of who we are or what we do, it's in all of us. Even heterosexuals seek acceptance amongst their peers in their careers, bisexual men and women, gay folk, children, in fact all subcultures seek acceptance in some form or the other. The first thing that William did, was to accept himself, but he had not learned to love himself, hence he could not love someone else. At school, when he vied for Brett's attention, it was more of a puppy love kind of thing. As an adult, love is far more complex, and Will seemed afraid. Afraid because he had not accepted himself enough and held back. Once he had reintroduced himself to his parents as a gay man, pushed by Brett and Kat, he came out of his shell. This empowered him. His confusion about Brett, plays a huge part in the latter part of the story.

From: Finding Alex 1. Daniel' sister is getting married. On the day, he dresses up in a spiffy tux. Emily, one of tbe bridesmaids is dressed in a navy-blue bridesmaid's dress. “I know I look like a trashy sailor,” she said as she looked me over, “but that’s still better than a cheap-ass penguin.” 2. And when Dan's secretary tell him he's in love, he says:“Get back to work,” I ordered playfully. “You’re my secretary, not my therapist.”

What??????!!!!! You gotta b kidding me.

Um....hugely erotic. Enjoyed it tremendously. I love the way a hypothetical situation becomes a real situation. Hope the lad sees this as a learning experience. Of course Rob sees the hypothetical and notes that the physicsl attraction between them is chemistry. Look forward to the conclusion.

From Roommates “You can’t ask a man for his number when he’s passing around the meat,” he said then winked, “you have to wait until he’s passing out the chocolate.” “Why did I become friends with you?” I asked rolling my eyes. “To get your head out of your fucking ass, Will." “I’m meeting billionaires in a few fucking hours,” he said turning to look at me, “I’ll be lucky if I don’t shit my pants.” "I don't feel as free as you do." "If you're unwilling to fix this, then you're just a damn distraction." "It would have rocked living here," Brett commented. "I'd slide down the stair railing at least five times a day." “Relationships aren’t ruined by spilled milk,” I said and she smiled. “Now Lucinda, I don’t want to look at our portrait and see sweat or flushed looks, we want to look humble, refreshed, and above all happy.” “You can leave clothes on the ground they won’t walk away,” he said laughing slightly. “Well maybe you’ll meet someone at the anniversary party,” she said, “I’ve invited all of your sister’s classmates for a reason.” - “Oh, I thought it was so Kathryn could shove her new boobs into their faces.” “Well breakfasts should have more live shows,” Brett said leaning back in his chair and stretching.

Renee, this is a beautiful presentation.

Well done Graeme. Congratulations on your promotion.

Welcome to our family.

To add to what Cia is saying, I find the best words to use when describing, or tagging dialogue (apart from he said/she said), are onomatopoetic words. These words add to the detail, they are filled with clout in their sound: snarl, whip, swizzle,snigger,flail,beguile, wheedle. I would classify these words as "packing a punch words", those words that add value. The money words. Cia wrote a post detailing Money Words if I recall correctly. Good gay fiction / any fiction, requires the writer to create exciting sentences. How's this from Stuart Macbride's novel called Dark Blood: Her feet were going numb, even through two pairs of socks. Seventeen. Sixteen. Fifteen. She tightened her grip on the truncheon. Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Vicki inched closer to the French doors. Six. Five. Four. Three. She placed a black-gloved hand on the door handle. And then she heard it. A low growl coming from right behind her. Oh . . . crap. She turned, slowly. There was a dark shape SLINKING through the snow towards her. Big. Muscular - snow sticking to its black fur. Jesus that was a big dog. Vicki backed off, nice and slow. 'Good doggy?' The growl became a snarl. Fuck . . . As the reader I am in the scene. Crapping myself. Expecting to be attacked. Fear envelopes me. The author has made it memorable for me. He has created an image in my mind without interrupting the flow of the story. It's all about words, exciting words. That's why GOT has me stumped. It's just not exciting at all. But how is that word SLINKING? Love it.

Animals. Love them, more of a dog person I am. But cats will do just as well. LOL. Thanks Valkyrie.

Layla - it's not a mistake at all. It depends. Did he climb out of bed? Was he seated? If he got out of bed, got simply says something happened, but not how it happened. There is no harm in got and gotten and get and getting if it's used sparsely, but when I find it in every paragraph I want to like throw the book against a wall, lol. I agree Jo Ann. Read - all kinds of fiction, even poetry and nonfiction. Note flow and rhythm. Separate good writing from bad writing. Make notes on index cards about plot and story construction and character building. Try to do this with everything you read and soon plot and structure will be burned into your mind. You can review these index cards at any time when you write. Record your observations - When you spot something in a novel that works, get excited. Jot it down and look at them from time to time. If you ever want to write a novel that readers can't put down,these notes are like gemstones. Assimilate - learn the technique that looks promising and practice it. Write a scene that uses this technique. Out of your head and onto the page. From assimilation to tranformation. Makes you a better writer. Continue to learn - Grow, writing is a growth process. Plan your attack for strengthening your work. Who are your most unforgettable characters? Read them again. Analyze them. Compare them with your own characters. Now create more characters for your next story. Four simple tasks, so important in a writer's life.

Folks, please tell me what the word GOT, GOTTEN AND GETTING does? Am I the only one in this whole friggin world who thinks that this word is the king of all mindless verbs? Arise King Got! Why oh why am I like gobsmacked whenever I see it in a story. He got up, and when he got to the door he realized he should get going. He got the dishes washed, then, getting the towels, got the dishes dry. Can someone please tell me how King Got helps in fiction. Such an ugly, useless verb!

I had someone that kept me grounded, and someone that I could be completely honest with, drop my guard entirely, and he wouldn't stop being my friend. That was the first friendship I've ever had like that. I'll never have anything like that again. That is so profound. I'm not a psychiatrist and I won't pretend to be one, but a writer here on GA replied to a comment I made about his poem. He said something like this, (not quoted verbatum): It's important to move on, but why place a time limit to healing? Why not celebrate and cry until grief shuffles out of our hearts and souls. I agree wholeheartedly. One can move on and still grieve. That's so special.

Nosty, thank goodness for giving me a reprieve. His ex, I'm afraid, is about to play devil's advocate. That's too much info. But I know you'll want to see just what it is exactly. Enough spoilers now. LOL. This was supposed to be a short story but I see it getting longer and longer and longer. Oh lawd. Thanks for your read support.

Will is a temperamental guy at heart. He loves the beauty in life and what happened in the sea that day, was the ugliest moment of his life. Save this little insight for the next chapter and be prepared to be wowed.

I have a collection of imaginary dolls. Every morning I find them in different positions. What does this mean? LOL

I see unfinished business. The husband who tried to save the son. Regina who hated Cathy. The motivation for a haunting is evident and clear. Waiting for next chapter

Nothing is guaranteed in a relationship. In fact, a divorce, death or breakup in a relationship is one of the top stressors of life. The thing is to move on, which is not covered in this work. Tragic poetry is always two sided. Always asks questions. Romeo and Juliet is a prime example. Bolt's, Sir Thomas Moore is another. Human nature is such that we assume too much, expect too much and analyse too much. Nothing hurts more than live lost, and sometimes we are left to figure it out alone, and in the process, on the rebound, we hurt others.it's an unavoidable cycle. Nice work.

A thousand hugs from the hug foundation to all our winners and nominees. Your creative ability is simply outstanding.

Thanks for reading Bro. It's a revenge short.get in and get out. Unlike my other short called Speech Therapy, which is a atudy in characterization. Give it a try, you'll see what we mean when we say it's important to give each character a different attribution, or imperfection.

His work on other sites has never been updated. Literotica Dom's profile offers nothing substantive. He's over 18. Interested in "nothing". Has no pets. Yet he likes dogs he said in an interview with Rising Up From The Ashes - a blog by Phoenix in March 2010. He joined Literotica on 23 March 2005 and has only one story with them: The Spirit of James. It was posted on 12 April 2005. Apparently he is a landscaper. Somewhere. He also said in the Phoenix interview that if his lover ever read his stories he would stop writing. He did not give a reason. Goodreads Has noted his disappearance with dismay. Http://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/1313388-domluka He disappeared without warning 3 years ago and left his last work unfinished. This suggests that his disappearance was unplanned according to Goodreads. Indeed "With Trust" was nearly finished. I also question (as do others) why he would leave without finishing "With Trust". GA He states he is male. He is probably close to forty now. Maybe younger. His email address is domluka@yahoo.com. Maybe only yahoo will know his real name. I say this because if he was picked up by a mainstream publisher, he might be using his real name. Also, he would have proudly announced this and his fans would have followed and bought his work. He had 209 followers on GA. Something like 19000 plus views on Goodreads or Literotica I'm not sure. His AIM addie is down and not working. On the 12 March 2010 he stated: "Taking 5". He was last active on GA on 28 March 2010 when he stated in his blog that he had been ill. This was his last blog entry. Never heard from him again. Sadly. All my digging has come up against a brick wall. The only clue we have is tbat he practises landscaping. Where? It's anybodies guess.

Way to go Mr. Mann. Congratulations!

Updating tonight