AFriendlyFace

Today was a pretty good day I suppose. I finally got all my tax troubles sorted out. See it all started over a week ago when I casually decided I'd drop by H&R Block on my way home from something and get my taxes done. I figured it'd be like an hour, standard fee, and I'm good to go...Well...NO! It took two hours and the fee the guy quoted me was outragiously high! We were in fact both in agreement that the fee was inordinately high so he told me to come back tomorrow and in the meantime he'd work on getting it down (which struck me as odd in the first place). So anyway the next morning he calls and says that he fixed things and that the fee was down to like 56 dollars and I'd have the same return, apparently all I had to do was come in and sign something. So on my way to I stop in, explain who I am, and this time am greeted by a woman telling me we need to go over a few things. So I'm thinking "okay a few things, that'll just be a few minutes." So like 20 minutes later I ask "how much longer is this going to take?", and she says "oh, about an hour." AN HOUR! So I ask, "why so long when I already did all this stuff with the other guy?" And she explains that apparently he made some mistakes and we needed to re-do everything. So I'm thoroughly ticked off at this point, plus I don't have time to do all this junk, so I tell her to just give me my stuff and I'll get it done later somewhere else (I did not want to have to keep coming back to this office because it really wasn't in a very convenient location at all, and it had just happened to be where I was that first day). Well at this point she tells me that actually I can't get it done elsewhere because the first guy accidently FILED the incorrect return, and they had to do an ammended one! So now I'm REALLY mad, and irritated that apparently she wasn't going to tell me that until I demanded to have my stuff back and leave. So anyway I didn't get a chance to mess with it again for a few more days, but then I called back to try to set something up with her only to find out that apparently my little tax return was beyond her skill as well and she was turning everything over to "the most experienced agent in the office" so he could have a jab at it. Well this dude was seriously hard to track down because apparently he works abbreviated hours (which I suppose is your prerogative once you become "the most experienced agent in the office"). Anyway we finally hooked up today and a mere 45 minutes later I had everything sorted out. They did have the decency to give me a good discount though, I ended up getting it all done for 30 dollars, plus since the original guy had already filed the incorrect return they had a smaller check for the incorrect amount waiting for me, which they gave me with assurances that another check would be mailed to me for the remainder. So at least I finally got the mess sorted out and I did get a fairly decent check today. In other news I dyed my hair black last week. It was pretty much the only somewhat "natural" colour my hair had never been. So I figured it was time to try it. Overall, I'm definitely glad I did it, only I also definitely don't like it as much as the blondes and reds that I had previously been sticking to. It was just something I really needed to get out of my system. I actually really miss the attention that my red hair had been getting me. It was always really bright and fun at first then it would fade to a somewhat natural (but still loud and unusual colour ), and people would often think it was natural. Apparently I've got the complexion for a red-head. I used to get at least three comments daily on it, with at least one person asking if, or convinced that, it was real. So blah, no more random attention from strangers, lol everyone that knew me flipped though. Also on the bright side at least my eyes have been getting a little more notice, they're kinda a soft blue and look really bright and somewhat gray against the black. I've also been having a lot of fun dressing up all emo/goth, but really the freaky red worked pretty well with that style too AND it had the advantage of being able to look somewhat respectable in other clothes. I guess I just need to learn how to "wear" the black, it's tricky though since my hair has been light for the past several years. Anyway I'm thinking that from here I'm just going to gradually go blonde again. Oh yeah, and I lost all my bookmarks . It keeps frickin happening! Well really it only tends to happen like once every 4 or 5 months, but that's certainly often enough! It's so weird just one day when I turn on my computer they're gone! I don't know what's causing it, but it's really really inconvenient. I bookmark like everything, if I think I may ever want to go back to that page I bookmark (I know it sounds like that would lead to a giant bookmark mess but it doesn't because I have quite a few folders/sub-folders for various categories and sub-categories.) Anyway, I invariably loose a few good websites everytime this happens Take care all and have an awesome day! Kevin

Good luck with everything! -Kevin

Thanks, Camy!

The purpose of this entry is to poke fun at the highly superficial behaviour, and fleeting attractions, which often characterizes those who frequent gay dance clubs, while also serving the duel purpose of being a stylistic exercise in writing. The events depicted in this blog entry did indeed occur, but are likely exaggerated as a result of the tenuous position memory holds against fantasy. They were playing yet another techno version of some forgettable pop-hit as I stepped onto the dancefloor, deliberately making my way toward the center. As my hips began swaying slowly in time with the music - and I lightly brushed past the scantily clad guys in my path - I continued to search the crowd for a boy worth pursuing. It was packed tonight, and yet there were remarkably slim pickings. The majority of the revelers were too old, too fat, too trashy, or too taken. I smiled and avoided eye-contact as a middle-aged, Hispanic man stepped into my path and attempted to dance with me. As he pressed his chest into mine I turned my face and extricated myself from my would-be Latin suitor. It was then that a flash of light on the opposite end of the dancefloor suddenly caught my attention. My breath hitched and I stopped moving completely as I saw him. It was an artist's moment. He stood there, just under six feet, obliviously sending a text message. Oblivious indeed. Oblivious to the way the phone's dim white light illuminated his angular features like an angel with a halo. Oblivious to the way his eyes lit up like those of a child's on Christmas morning. Oblivious to the way his luminous blonde hair fell perfectly across his forehead. Oblivious to the way the phone's glow gently reflected off the buttons of his shirt, giving his chest a sort of come hither sparkle. Oblivious to the way his brilliant pearl-white teeth could just barely be seen occasionally peeking out from beneath soft, full lips. Oblivious indeed to the way his entire countenance took on a seductive look of concentration as he lightly licked those immaculate lips and delicately tapped upon the keys of his mobile. He was regrettably no more aware of the once in a lifetime moment which was even now occuring between us. Time stopped as everyone else gyrated ever more quickly to the latest Kelly Clarkson remix and it was only he and I who remained stationary, he shrouded by the aura of glowing light radiating from his palm, and I mesmerized by the sublime beauty of the form in front of me. Mechanically my feet began to compel me forward, step by step moving me ever deeper into the surreal scene now playing out on the well used floor. As the song began to come to close everyone started to cheer excitedly and draw closer to whichever warm body he'd been dancing against. Only the object of my desire remained disinterested as his slender fingers rapped the source of the impromptu spotlight. As I got within arm's reach of my very own Greek god I was struck with the realization that the true travesty of the night lay with the mere mortals who were sacrilegiously conducting their own affrairs instead of paying homage to Aphrodite's lovechild. Slowly I raised my trembling fingers, fingers which were aching to make even the slightest contact with the vision before me. As my hand tentatively continued it's approach toward my fantasy boy's shoulder the talented miss Clarkson hit her final note. With that the dim strobe lights lit up the bodies on the dancefloor, and my dream man simultaneously snapped his phone shut. The spell was broken. The young man now faced the same harsh, unforgiving light which callously, and indiscriminately, disclosed the flaws of all the club's inhabitants. Suddenly his angelic face took on a gaunt, tired look. As the shock wore off I began to retract my hand, eager to distance my digits from the weak-looking, slumped shoulder which was now only inches from my grasp, a shoulder clothed in an unflattering light blue fabric. The boy noticed this action and his dim, gray eyes snapped up as he peered at me from below stringy, vanila-coloured bangs. His haggard lips curled into a smile, a smile which revealed stained, dull teeth. I politely returned the smile...and avoided eye-contact as I turned away. Loosing interest my former fantasy began to slink through the crowd toward the bar. As Rhianna began confessing her adulterous escapades and all my fellow homos saught out fresh flesh with which to make contact, I couldn't help but cast a disappointed gaze toward the bar. This bland, unremarkable man had just missed the most beautiful moment of his life, his attention had instead been foolishly focused unwaveringly upon a fickle, uncaring object. I shook my head condescendingly, and laughed a small icy laugh. It was then than I spied a new boy a few feet away and, as I stepped in front of one of the track-lights to begin my approach, I was completely oblivious to the way the beam sent streaks of gold through my crimson hair... Michael By Franz Ferdinand This is where I'll be so heavenly so come and dance with me Michael So sexy, you're sexy come and dance with me Michael I'm all that you see, you want to see come and dance with me Michael so close now, so close now come and dance with me come and dance with me so come and dance with me Michael you're the boy with all the leather hips Sticky hair, sticky hips, stubble on my sticky lips Michael you're the only one I'd ever want only one I'd ever want only one I'd ever want Beautiful boys on a beautiful dancefloor Michael you're dancing like a beautiful dance-whore Michael waiting on a silver platter now... and nothing matters now This is what I am, I am a man come and dance with me Michael so strong now, it's strong now come and dance with me Michael I'm all that you'll be, you'll ever see so come and dance with me, MIchael So close now, you're close now Come and dance with me, Comeanddancewithme. COME AND DANCE WITH ME Michael you're the boy with l l l leather hips Sticky hair. Sticky lips. Stubble on my sticky hips. Michael you're the only one I'd ever want only one I'd ever want only one I'd ever want Beautiful boys on a beautiful dancefloor Michael you're dancing like a beautiful dance-whore Michael waiting on a silver platter now... and nothing matters now

...okay so maybe I have spent a bit more than you on my wardrobe Your belts should generally be 2 inches larger than your pants to fit properly. Thus, if you wear 35'' pants your belt size should be 37''. You're quite right; odd sizes are difficult to find, though I do have a couple of pairs of 29'' pants. I generally wear 28'' in pants and 30'' in belts. If you wear the same size belt as pants you generally (but I suppose not always) end up with your pants all cinched/bunched up. Chances are if you find that the 36'' belt is actually too big for you then you probably wear your pants too baggy (and really could be wearing a 33'' or 34''). Personally speaking I generally wear my clothes a little too small. LOL well I suppose wearing pants that barely cover it is one way to show that baby off! I've been told that's my best asset too, but as I mentioned above I usually like to accenturate it by pouring it into some tight pants Hmmm, I think this thread may have gone a bit off topic **grabs some wet linen in which to wrap up in** Ahh, just my fit!

Thanks you guys!!

The others are right, Luc. You'll only make it worse, NOT BETTER, for everyone if you take your life. People don't get over other people's deaths that easily (as you obviously know first hand), and deaths such as the one you're proposing are especially painful for others. Furthermore James is right; you can't blame yourself for other people's actions. Unless you force fed him the drugs it was ultimately his actions, not yours, which led to the end result. Apart from all that there will be a time when you feel better again; you'd might as well hang around for it. And you did promise. PM, IM, email me, whatever if you want to talk about anything. FEEL BETTER! -Kevin

YAY! I did enjoy that post very much and am very honoured to have been able to participate in the discussion! Thanks for sharing this with us Viv!! Kevin

I hope you've been doing great and may your birthday be filled with much joy, peace, and happiness!! -Kevin

Hey Graeme! Thanks for the link! I did find it very interesting!! Funny you should mention Dire Strait's Money for Nothing I was just reading an article about that, and the use of the word faggot in it, the other day! LOL, yep "bumming a fag" may indeed be taken differently nowadays HAha, if I smoked though I'd definitely have a good time using that expression suggestively with my friends Hmm, yes I think I do agree with you that ultimately the intention does outweigh the sexuality of the person. It's mostly in indirect circumstances in which I think the sexuality (or the degree of "gay cred" ) of the person matters. For instance if at work someone said "Did you see that fag at table 3?", it would go down more easily coming from one of my gay coworkers than one of the straight ones. Of course no one is allowed to smoke indoors in public places in Houston at all anymore, so I suppose theoretically they could be drawing attention to the fact that someone had snuck a cig. in Anyway take care and have an awesome day Kevin

Hey Alex! It looks like we're of a very similar mind on many of these points! LOL, I guess it's true what they say about great minds LOL, that does sound amusing! My senior (year 12) English teacher was awesome, but there was a bit of a scandal and we ended up having a long-term sub toward the end of the year. Anyway she never pronounced H's. It was quite amusing. Perhaps (or Per'aps) everyone's got a "my year 12 English teacher used to say ___ funny" story. Yes, I agree with you here. "Queen" does have an effeminate connotation to it beyond that of normal, "generic" gay terms to me as well. Like you I ostensibly don't have a problem with effiminate (possibly older) gay men, but I too don't particularly like to be labeled as such. Hmm, I've got quite a few lesbian friends; I'll poke around and see if I can find out more about their feelings on this topic. Thanks I had fun sorting everything out in my mind as well Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Hey Sharon! LOL thanks! haha, and don't worry you've definitely got "gay cred" catch ya later, dude Kevin

Hey Drew! Yeah, I think you're right. It's unlikely "The F-word" will ever be anything besides that which rhymes with duck. Yeah, in general I think that people should remember that, especially with comedy, it's best not to be too sensitive about things and also that you're free to just walk out/change the station if you don't like something. Anyway take care and have a great day! Kevin

HAHAhA

WOOO HOOOO!! Happy Birthday, Camy!!!! May your day be half as special as you are -Kevin

LOL since there's been so much interest in my footwear, I have 24 various pairs which include sneakers, sandels, slippers/indoor shoes, dress shoes, "work" dress shoes, and - what I wear and own the most of - shoes that aren't really sneakers OR dress shoes, but just sort of "fashion" shoes. LOL, well while we're on the subject of belts, I have 15. I don't think my shoes and belts are THAT disproportionate to my wardrobe in general. I mean it would be weird to have the same amount of clothing and only 3 or 4 belts and pairs of shoes. I suppose that may indeed seem excessive, but you must remember that changing my look and style is one of my main "hobbies". I spend virtually no time or money on electronics or automotives and own only the "bare essentials" (far less and simpler stuff than the average American). LOL, I'm sure Robbie's spent as much time and money on his car and electronic hobby as I have on my wardrobe. I similarly don't "collect" anything. I do agree that using more than one towel per shower/bath does seems like a lot! On some days I've been known to take more than one shower/bath in which case I might use multiple towels, but I've rarely used more than one for the same "body cleansing" experience. I do use a new washcloth every time and on some occasions two, but I have so many more washcloths than bathtowels that it's never an issue.

Warning this blog entry contains profanity, and while it's purpose is certainly not to offend those with a same sex orientation the subject matter may be offensive to some. The opinions expressed here are only my own and all comments, concurrent or dissenting, are not only welcomed, but eagerly encouraged. Please, simply remember to treat others with respect in your response. In my opinion one of the most significant hindrances to the advancement of gay rights is the inability for all of us to agree on just how those rights should be manifested, and just what constitutes an infringement of those rights. While I'd love to (and may eventually) debate the many prejudices and divisions with which "GLBT" people treat each other that is mostly beyond the intended scope for this entry and may only lightly touch on the subject as it relates to the semantics of the issue. As is often the case my focus in interest is one the words and language we used and the intent behind them. Much has been made in recent months about the word "faggot". In fact The Advocate had a recent feature in which is described the term as the "new F word". Of all the possible terms for homosexual individuals faggot appears to be the most derisive. It's difficult, if not impossible, for most people to get away with using the word without indicating a prejudice. Similarly it's little brother, "fag", has an almost equally bad rep. Yet, in my opinion there's a major distinction: the word "faggot" is, to me, virtually never appropriate whereas the word "fag" can be applied in a more neutral, even affectionate manner. I suppose it's very similar to the oft used example black people addressing each other with a certain label, but for all other groups that label is off limits. Indeed it's very unlikely that I would get offended by another gay person using the word fag casually, and assuming I regarded the person positively they could easily get away with addressing me as a fag. With straight people...well personally the word just doesn't bother me that much, so I would always be more concerned with the intent/feelings behind the word than just the use of the word. I would probably think that it's inappropriate for any given straight person to use the word, even in a non-offensive context, but I wouldn't necessarily be offended unless it was used explicitly in a derogatory manner. Coming from a very straight person with a lot of "gay cred" it would probably be perfectly acceptable and wouldn't even strike me as inappropriate. I do have some straight friends who obviously aren't homophobic and are well acquainted with gay issues, and as such I regard it as they're prerogative to use the word. I realize this isn't something that all, or even many, gay people would agree with me on, and indeed while I view the above situations as "okay", I wouldn't necessarily advise them or partake in them myselves. I rarely use the word fag and if I do it's only in exclusively gay company and only among friends whom I know won't take offense. To me just because I do feel that as gay people it's our prerogative to use the term I also think that when done publically and in front of straight people, especially straight people who aren't well acquainted with all the issues, it's potentially very damaging to our stance. To me the word "faggot" always makes me bristle. I'd probably never use the word, and it never seems okay. I have a very gay friend who frequently uses the word fag, doesn't bother me (though as I said before I think it's not really a good idea for him to do it so casually in front of non-intimate straights), but the other day he added the "-got" to the end and I did find it somewhat offensive and highly inappropriate. "Dyke" is another interesting term. To some it seems like a dirty word, to others not at all. Lesbians, in my experience, have generally seemed okay with other lesbians using the word, and occasionally bristled when it was used by a non-lesbian. It seems to me that they take a more sensible, pragmatic approach to the term than gay males usually do to the term "fag". They do indeed often, in my observations anyway, let context and intent decide whether or not it's "okay". But who else can use the word? Do gay males naturally have the prerogative to refer to their lesbian sister as dykes? (do lesbians has the right to call their gay brothers fags?) In my opinion, not necessarily. The relationship between lesbians and gay males is often not intrinsically close enough to warrent this level of controversial familiarity. I have many MANY lesbian friends, and all of them have the "right" as far as I'm concerned to use the term fag. Most of them I couldn't really imagine doing so, some of them would do it without thinking twice. Anyone who knows me fairly well will know that I'm a huge supporter of lesbians! One of my best friends ever, and the first person I ever came out to was a lesbian. I always got along very well with girlfriends and all their friends, and my two current best friends in Houston are a lesbian couple. I've been to all lesbian events/gatherings and in general I have a very favourable bias towards lesbians, "oh good you're a lesbian! I'm sure we'll get along smashingly then!". So anyway if anyone other than an actual lesbian should be able to comfortably and casually use the term dyke in a non-offensive manner I think I should, and yet I don't, probably because of my over-cautious nature when it comes to being politically correct. Then there are all the other terms and their possible uses. A VERY wildly debated, popular vernacular is of course slangish use of the word "gay" to describe something generally cruddy. This is a sure-fire way to get both gays and straights all riled up and split evenly. I've have quite a few gay male friends, and a couple of lesbian friends, who frequently and casually refer to something as "gay" and who wouldn't think of taking offense if a straight person did the same thing. I have a couple of other gay male and lesbian friends who are ready to hang anyone, gay/lesbian or not, who uses the term in that way. I have straight friends of both genders who definitely aren't homophobic who are quite comfortable using the term in that way in front of me, and I have other friends who would use it but not in front of a gay person, or who wouldn't use it for fear of being offensive. Then, sadly, I'm pretty sure I know others who use the term in exactly the derogatory way that those who decry it fear. To me it's a complete mixed bag. I pretty much never take offense when it's used in this way, unless I know the person to be homophobic, but then it's more of a reaction to that person than the term usage anyway. Personally I'm pretty ambivalent about it. Initially when it caught on I didn't particularly like it, but now I'm so used to it that it doesn't faze me. I'd never use it myself though, even if I did like it, because again I think it's too hot and delicate a topic. Obviously the generic term "gay" is the most favourable and least offensive term when it comes to simply describing orientation. For me "homosexual" is perfectly fine as an adjective, but often has somewhat negative connotations used simply as a noun. "He's a homosexual" sounds too clinical and potentially dehumanized for my taste. "He's gay" is great. "He has a homosexual orientation" - though a bit more cumbersome - is perfectly fine, but I'm unlikely to simply describe myself as a "homosexual". It's far too impersonal for my taste, and it can often be said in a negative way. This all probably stems from "homo". I hate that term. I accept that it's generally considered less offensive than "fag", but I just subconsciously immediately perceive it as a slur. Then there's "queer". I'll be honest, I don't really like queer. I don't really like the sound in general, so regardless of what it meant it probably wouldn't be one of my favourite words anyway. But as far as usage I've just never really liked this one. Personally speaking I straight up like the word "fag" better than "queer" (and again "faggot" makes my stomach turn), but I'm definitely more comfortable using and hearing the word queer because of it's current more P.C. nature. Then there's "queen". I hate this term applied to me, and no one can really get by with using it directed towards me without at least a somewhat negative response. Usually this is purely internal because as far as I can recall no one, but friends and/or other gay people have ever addressed/referred to me with this term, and I don't believe in needlessly taking offense or starting drama, especially when the intention wasn't bad - which I know it wasn't - so while it bothers me I just keep my mouth shut, and discretely let those close to me know that it isn't an appropriate way to refer to me. I'd quite honestly rather be called a "fag" than a "queen" in both an affectionate ("fag" feels more affectionate to me) or offensive manner ("queen" feels more offensive to me). If I was having a confrontation with some homophobic person and they called me a fag, it wouldn't particularly bother me. I'd obviously be offended and mad that they were trying to insult me, but the word itself wouldn't hurt. I could even readily see myself responding in a defiantly casual way "Yeah I'm a fag, so what?". If they called me a "queer" and said it in such a way that the word was just dripping with acid, I'd be very unlikely to respond in kind "yeah I'm a queer, so what?". I probably would respond "Yeah I like other guys/am gay/whatever, so what?", but the word "queer" said meanily would offend and upset me to the point that I probably wouldn't be able to take the term back and "own it". Same with "homo", which I'm sure I'd be even less like than "queer" to blow off and fire back. "Faggot" would obviously just be the utmost profane and thoroughly piss me off. Again, I think it's more appropriate for GLBT people to use the term "queen" than regular straight people (again I'd make an exception for our closer straight allies). Recently at work I had to deal with a picky, older gay man, and as he steadily wore down my patience I began to think of him as "a fussy old queen", which I did mean in a derogatory way. I was essentially mentally applying something I regarded as a slur to him, but because I too could be categorized as a "queen" (it annoys me, but obviously I could be a "fussy young queen"), I didn't feel any guilt or sense of disappropriate behaviour. Had he belonged to any other minority I most definitely would have still gotten annoyed with him, but I would not have ever thought of him as a "fussy old ___(insert relevant slur here)". Interestingly this again seems to be the general feeling among people of all various groups. My hispanic co-workers often have nasty things to say about difficult hispanic customers, my black co-workers often have negative things to say about their black customers, and so on. I don't regard this as evidence of prejudice however. Frankly I generally love interacting with other gay people and admit to having a preference to doing so. It's just that if they tick me off I feel more comfortable and justified calling them out. I suspect it's much the same with all the other groups, because they're members of your "group" you're probably more comfortable and used to dealing with them, but if they cross the line there's less reluctance to call them out and risk appearing bigoted. This is not to say that I don't think it ultimately has that effect. In general I don't think it's a good image to present to the general public of having members of a minority say things to/about each other that others can't get away with. It creates a double standard (which ultimately I think is okay) and gives people who may have prejudices against that group more ammunition (which obviously isn't okay). Thus I thought you annoying, fussy old queen but didn't say it to any of my co-workers, and had I broken down and gossiped about him like that I would definitely only have done it to/in front of my gay/lesbian co-workers. To me "drag queen" is completely neutral, as is to a somewhat lesser extent "fag hag". Then there's the way straight people treat us and address us. I've often been surprised and a bit caught off guard (though hopefully I masked it), when non-homophobic, friendly straight guys have called me "honey", "baby/babe", or some other pet name. Now obviously I would regard these labels as sarastically offensive out of the mouth of a homophobic straight guy, but when used obviously non-sarcastically and by straight guys I'm friends with there's certainly no reason to take offense. Yet, it usually does throw me. I keep thinking "Babe? WHAT??". Interestingly, and logically, it's usually the guys that tend to address girls they're close with in this same manner who do it. To me this signals a sort of confusion on the straight guy's part, "well I don't think he wants to be treated like one of my regular guy friends, so I guess I'll treat him like one of my lady friends". Actually I do prefer to be treated like one of the regular guy friends. If you want to use an affectionate term I'm much more comfortable and flattered by "dude, man, bro, bud, etc.". I'm also fine with straight guys acting like straight guys around me, I'm fine with hearing and participating in who's hot and who's got nice tits etc. Yet, this actually seems to signify that it's me that has the hang up. I don't think twice about a female (lesbian or straight) or another gay/bi male calling me "honey" or "babe". At work their are several straight girls who typically address me as sweetie, hun, or the like, and it actually rather makes me happy. There's also another gay guy who always uses one of these terms to address me and again I find it flattering and pleasing. There's also a bi guy who does it, and again it's no big thing. So it seems a little hypocritical of me to find it uncomfortable when a straight guy does it. Especially since it obviously means that he likes me and considers me non-threatening. I think this more has to do with my expectations about gender/sexual roles. I also know that I'm guilty of accidently making people uncomfortable with my use of terms of endearment. I refer to any guy - gay or straight - and quite a few girls as "dude" if I like them and regard them as a friend, usually without thinking. I realize cognatively that it isn't really appropriate to say to a female friend, "Dude, did you see that funny looking red car?!", but I tend to do it without thinking. This probably stems from the fact that many of my close female friends have been tomboyish (some lesbians, some straight) and have used the same term casually with me and each other quite a bit, thus it obviously IS okay to use it with them, and basically just boils down to "Friend, did you...", but to a random regular girl this might be unsettling or insulting. Ironically, I think I get away with it a little bit more easily because I am gay. I've also had several gay male friends who found it odd when I addressed them as "dude", and complained that it was too "straight guy" or that I was "posing" or something. I even have one male to female transgendered friend and it would obviously be catastrophic to accidently address her as "dude". I also think that it's really important to remember that words are just that, words, and ultimately they all mean and describe the same thing. There's really no difference between a gay, queer, fag, faggot, homo, homosexual, etc. Just as there's really no intellectual difference between any "swear word" and it's "proper" synonym. In the end does it matter if you call her a "whore", "ho", "hooker", "harlot", or simply a "prostitute"? You mean someone that has sex for money, end of story. Same with the beforementioned terms, you mean someone who is sexually inclined to their own orientation, end of story. Obviously there are different levels of vulgarity and social acceptability attached to the various terms, but in the end I think we ought to try intellectually isolate the meaning from the way it's said. Obviously someone who's simply vulgar or unsophisticated could use the term "faggot" to refer to a gay man, and have absolutely no personal bias toward the man or his orientation. Similarly someone who's politically correct could refer to someone as "gay" and be full of hate and prejudice to that person. In the end, to me, it isn't really the words that matter but the way in which they are intended. Anyway, that's what I think about all of that. Anyone else have any thoughts on any of the various points? I'd love to discuss it further! Take care all and have an awesome day! Kevin

LOL, just the waistband when it had come up in conversation that I was dressed very festive.

LOL, you're so adorable, Robbie, in a messy, barbaric sorta way that is

LOL well since this is "bumped" anyway, I guess I'll answer it too, plus since it came up anyway: Knickers are underwear not shoes. 1. Who are you?Kevin 2. Are we friends?Of course! 3. When and how did we meet?On here, I think we just started commenting on each other's blogs and got to know each other from there. 4. Do you have a crush on me?nah, but I think you're pretty awesome!! 5. Would you kiss me?Nah, wouldn't be appropriate, PLUS you're in a relationship 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.awww, I suck at nicknames. Ummm I guess I might call you Nicky 7. Describe me in one word.Courageous 8. What was your first impression?very wise and mature 9. Do you still think that way about me now?Yep 10. What reminds you of me?Grits!!! 11. If you could give me anything what would it be?Hmm, I'll go with "a hug" , but I bet you'd rather that money and helicopter that Jamie was going to give you 12. How well do you know me?fairly well for an online friend 13. When's the last time you talked to me? awww, it has been too long now that I think about it. I guess a couple of weeks? 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?Ohhh, once, but it's not relevant anymore and I still can't tell you 15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?Nah, I already have my next blog entry all planned out and I still can't find time to do it. Have an awesome day, Nick! Kevin

Well I'm not actually Irish, but everyone said I looked like the poster child for St. Patrick's day last night. I had the red hair, and fair skin and I was wearing a green "Dublin" shirt, a white belt with Shamrocks, and St. Paddy's day underwear. HEHE, so I did get into it! I hope everyone else had fun too!! Kevin

Thanks all for the input!! LOL and I just can't get over how both RK and Jack kept referring to it as "the towel" . I can't imagine having only one!! I have, I would estimate, somewhere between 20 and 30 bath towels. LOL, I similarly can't imagine leaving laundry on the floor, and certainly couldn't fathom putting it on the floor and then using it again! I have a very elaborate system of laundry hampers. I have the hamper in my bathroom at the bottom of my bathroom linen closet which holds all the towels and washcloths. In one of my walk-in closets the entire bottom sides are dedicated to laundry hampers (the other side contains all my shoes), I have one hamper for whites, one for bedclothes (sheets, pillowcases, blankets etc.), one for pants, one for fancy clothes, and one for everything else (mostly underwear and shirts)...so 6 hampers all together. I totally freak out if clothes are on the floor, I usually put them directly in the hamper, but may occasionally leave a used towel, or shirt laying on my bed or even *gasp* the floor. When I have one of my epic baths I usually remove a towel or two from the hamper and spread them on the bathroom floor so that I don't have to worry about making a mess with the water, but they all go back in the hamper once they're sufficiently dry again. So yeah, I'm thinking what I'll do is buy a towel rack dedicated to nothing but wet towels and washcloths, then put them in the hamper. Take care and have a clean day all! Kevin

Hey Nick! Obviously I don't know your family dynamic as well as you do, so I could be completely off base, but here's what I was thinking while I was reading it: You're really bright and hard-working, and your dad knows that, so 1) he probably expects more from you. 2) and this is what I think is a major factor, your dad might just be really really happy that James is in college and passing and doesn't want to do anything that might mess that up. Like if James had to pay for more junk he'd have to work, and that could easily distract him from school, especially if he's not used to it and not already doing really well. Personally I went to school full-time and graduated in 4 years with a solid GPA, WHILE working full-time (and often over-time), but my classes weren't really that hard and I had it pretty good at work. I knew ALOT of people who were really smart and did AWESOME in high school, and still ended up getting distracted/burned out and dropping out. Lot's of people I knew didn't have to work at all and still failed out for various reasons, and as I said some of them were quite bright. There's a pretty high drop out rate at college, and you can never really tell who'll make it all the way through. Anyway what I'm thinking is that your dad is just being careful to make sure that James gets all the way through. I also have a hunch you could get out of paying for that stuff if you played your cards right (like saying you were getting too stressed out with work and school, and then quitting work, and then being like, "but how am I supposed to pay if I can't work", etc.), but I don't see you doing that because it would mean saying and doing a lot of things you probably wouldn't want to say and do, and ultimately is that really what you want anyway? It seems to me that you like the independence you get from working. Finally, if you don't have your license yet, and you're obviously not in college yet, you don't really know how it'll end up being (and I'm assuming your dad doesn't really know yet either). You guys will probably just have to adapt as things go and find the best system. I'm really sorry you feel like your dad is playing favourites or something, but as you said it's not true and I'm sure there's some complicated reason that perhaps even the people involved don't fully understand. Anyway take care and have an awesome day!!! Kevin

Hey Adam, Well if you remember me from before, I'm doing EXTREMELY well thanks I'm really sorry to hear that you were going through a rough time. No need (IMO) to explain where you went or why. We all have to do what's best for ourselves and sometimes various circumstances, or just whims dictate that we disappear for awhile. In any case it's great to have you back, and I hope you're doing MUCH better now. Happy Saint Patrick's day! Kevin

NO, I most definitely wouldn't take such a pill, and if anyone did give me one I'd be looking around for the "gay pills". NO, I wouldn't change the orientation of my unborn child And NO, I don't really care why people are gay. I never use the "but it's something people are born with and can't change" line of defense. To me the correct response if someone says "being gay is a choice" is to glare and them and ask "yeah, so what?". Just my gut reaction; I get a little grumpy when people treat being gay as some kind of a curse. Maybe it isn't anything to be "PROUD" of (or maybe it is, whatever), but it certainly isn't anything to be ashamed of. don't worry, Dom. Somehow I don't really believe we'll lose ground in the fight for civil rights, and even if we do we can all become Canadian or something Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin