AFriendlyFace

Hey Drew!! Yeah, I guess I can understand what you mean about not feeling sexual tension with someone you're so used to. LOL I don't know how "official" I am...hehe maybe I could get it put on a shirt

Hey David! Yeah, that is crazy that if the kidnapper gets the lightest penalty - 5 years - he'll only be in prison about as long as the poor kid was Drew's right; it is really easy to move your taskbar. As he said just right click on it and make sure it's not "locked", then you can click on any empty section (not a program window or the tray/clock thingy at the bottom) and drag it over to wherever you like. It won't look like you're dragging it, but hold down the button and move your cursor to the bottom (top/left/right) of the screen and it'll go there. Personally I CAN'T STAND my taskbar anywhere but vertically on the lefthand side. It sucks on the bottom, and the top and right are just completely weird Take care and have an awesome day! Kevin

Happy Birthday!! I'm sorry you had such a rough year with the family, but I hope the next year is filled with peace and joy Take care, Kevin

Hey dude I hope your birthday was filled with wonder and happiness!! May this year lead you on the path you need to follow and take you to a destination filled with joy and peace Kevin

Happy Birthday David! I hope you had an AWESOME day filled with all the joy one gay buddhist can stand Take care, Kevin

I hope you had an awesome birthday, Robbie! May each day find you a little happier and a little nearer to that which you seek! Take care Kevin

Happy Birthday, Shadows I hope your year is filled with everything you've ever wanted and void of that which you don't like! Take care -Kevin

My friend Claire called today. I've mentioned her in a few other entries. She's awesome; at various phases in my life she's definitely been my best friend. She also holds the distinction of being the only girl I was ever in love with. I'm often attracted to girls, sometimes even a tad enamored, but usually there's no real emotional/romantic connection. Except for her, I wasn't even particularly attracted to her, but I still considered spending my life with her. Anyway it's only fair I suppose, she was in love with me for awhile too. Never worked out for us though (obviously). The timing was always off. It was actually quite dramatic, one evening we went out to dinner and I was just about to tell her my feelings when she choose the same moment to tell me she was a lesbian and in love with a mutual friend of ours. C'est la vie. Anyway when we went to college she attended one about 20 miles from our high school whereas I elected to move a couple of hundred miles away and attend a different, larger university. Anyway four and a half years later she's dropped out of two other schools three times and now she's decided to move to the city I just left and give it a go there (where she was supposed to go in the first place before she settled for the closer, smaller university). So she calls me today to ask me about various places she could find various things as well as directions to said places. I must confess for the briefest moment I thought "If you'd gotten your ducks in a row in the first place we'd have been there together". It probably would have been nice having her around more in college, but then I realized that train of thought was just plain messed up. I'm a firm believer in the butterfly effect and the loose, random chain of seemingly unrelated events that lead people through life. On the surface it seems like nothing would have been different except that I'd have had another close, trusted friend around, but in reality I have no doubt that everything would have been different. I probably would have choosen a different job and apartment or in the least stayed in them for a different amount of time. Countless events would have been altered and I'd have met (and not met) countless people. It's very unlikely I'd have ended up sitting here in Houston. And that's not even to say that I think she alone would have been able to significantly alter my life. I believe that'd be the case were to have spent more or less time with anyone in my past. Heck to be honest I kinda think my whole life might be different if I'd made or missed one extra, random traffic light when I was seventeen. HEHEHE, if I think about it long enough sometimes I come to the conclusion that MY whole life would be completely different if YOU (dear reader) had made or missed one extra traffic light six years ago. Anyway I definitely wouldn't want my life to be any different. I wouldn't even want to take back any of the mistakes or bad things because when it comes down to it I don't believe any of the bad could be taken away without destroying a whole lotta good. Besides I'm REALLY digging my life right now. It's so amazing; I often feel like my whole life consists of going from one fun activity to the next one. Oh I have my bad days and bad moods the same as everyone else, but they're usually fairly fleeting and being a total experience whore I don't even mind so much sometimes. It's part of the human experience right? Anyway it just feels like it's getting better and better, and who knows perhaps if Claire had been around she'd have inadvertently set about a chain of events which would have ultimately led me into a life of pain and misery...or perhaps she'd have made things even more sublime *shrugs* Anyway other topic: GOSH I love lesbians! I mean obviously I'm crazy about gay males, and I like straights of either gender, but I must say I really have a special place in my life for lezzies. I've known so many and been less than crazy about so few. I'm SO excited about my friend Megan's upcoming wedding! It's my first lesbian wedding! My first gay wedding actually. I love weddings. Up until now I've only been to the straight kind, but I have a feeling the gay ones will be just as, if not more, err fabulous I think the thing I enjoy most about spending time with lesbians is the LACK of sexual tension. I mean sexual tension is fun, but sometimes it's nice for it not to exist at all. I mean with other gay guys there's obviously a huge potential for a sexual undercurrent. Usually that's really fun and keeps the conversation lively, and that's not to say that I haven't had some really important, serious, non-sexual conversations with my gay male friends, or even that I think the sexual thing usually interferes, but still... Then there's straight girls, I don't mind a little casual flirting there and even if I'm not actively doing it or receiving it there's still the occassional random moment where you stop and think "wait is she hitting on me?" or "did I just send the wrong message?" or "can I really say that?" And straight guys :wacko: . I know alot of really awesome straight guys who really do seem cool with the whole gay thing, but still I'm like constantly on guard to not violate that trust, or be perceived to violate that trust. And I'm always asking myself "how is he going to interpret this?". Plus I think some straight guys, especially the ones that are cool with it, occassionaly purposely send mixed messages. And I'm totally not blaming them for it since it's pretty much exactly what I just admitted doing with straight girls sometimes. I mean lets face it all that stuff can be fun, if not complicated, but it only happens if there's a reasonable potential for either a mutual or one-sided attraction. Personally I believe in the somewhat unpopular notion that everyone's at least slightly potentially bisexual (even if they'd never act on it or even consciously recognize and label it), but a gay guy and a lesbian is about as sexual-tension-less an environment as you can create. Anyway thus when I hang out with my lesbian friends I'm not worrying about how I look or the messages I'm sending etc. It's nice to not worry about those things. And thus ends the ponderings of a hopeless "dyke dude".

awww I will LOL, my girl is sound asleep on her cushion

awww I will LOL, my girl is sound asleep on her cushion

Hey Luc I just caught up on your blog. I'm sorry your Christmas and New Year were rough . I also hope your mom is doing better and Sam is well (and taking care of the cat duties like he was supposed to). That definitely does sound like the beginning of a rough day. Try to fight it though as you mentioned in your previous blog entry everything is connected. I think that often when several little bad things happen it's because they're sorta causing each other and creating a negative self-fulfilling prophesy (I.E. Today's going to suck!). I think that's why good days seem to be so full of random good things too; you have a better attitude and more positive expectations. Anyway fight the bad day lol!! take care and I hope things get better, Kevin

Thanks Jamie! And I love the nickname! Awww thanks! Have an awesome day and take care! Kevin (Or Kevvers )

Thanks Jamie! And I love the nickname! Awww thanks! Have an awesome day and take care! Kevin

Hey Alex! Thanks! I really LOVE reading your blog too! I'm so glad you started one! I hope you had an awesome Christmas and a fantastic New Year take care, Kevin

Thanks Drew! and I agree dogs are nifty too!

Aww thanks Camy!!!

WOW! Can I ever identify with walking in the rain in the park and thinking and crying! I haven't done it as much in Houston, but in Baton Rouge I was always going for a walk in the rain to think and depending upon where my thoughts wandered I'd often have a cry. It really does help give you some perspective. I think it's also liberating to cry in the rain. I'm proud of you, Joe; it took me alot longer to take those walks and some people never make them at all. you'll be okay, even if it does get rough for awhile, and remember we're all here for you. -Kevin

Hey Sharon!!! First off, YAY! you got a blog! You're definitely right; every coin does have two sides. I'm glad your coin is facing up Kevin

awwww, that does sound like an awesome Christmas, Vance !! I hope your New Year is just as happy

"It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies I met you before the fall of Rome And I begged you to let me take you home You were wrong, I was right You said goodbye, I said goodnight It's all been done It's all been done It's all been done before I knew you before the west was won And I heard you say the past was much more fun You go your way, I go mine But I'll see you next time It's all been done It's all been done It's all been done before And if I put my fingers here, and if I say "I love you, dear" And if I play the same three chords, Will you just yawn and say It's all been done It's all been done It's all been done before Alone and bored on a thirtieth-century night Will I see you on The Price Is Right? Will I cry? Will I smile? As you run down the aisle? It's all been done It's all been done It's all been done before I've always thought that song was a was not only super-fun and catchy, but also conveyed a very attractive life attitude. The whole idea of everything being the same even in vastly different times and places. The endless history; the endless future. Shakira's "Whenever, Wherever" is somewhat reminiscent, but while Shakira definitely has the bouncier, I-want-to-dance version, "It's All Been Done" conveys a more bittersweet, almost hopelessness when it comes to trying to change fate. Plus "Whenever, Wherever" is mired down by being just another love balled. "It's All Been Done", while also easily interpreted as a long song, could also apply to the general nature of all relationships, life, and time in general. In the same thread there's a quote from a scene in the movie "Vanila Sky" that I've always really loved. David (Tom Cruise) has already been in the accident and gotten disfigured and he's trying to "win bacK" Sofia (Penelope Cruz). So he's trying really hard and they're dancing at this club and she says something to Brian (Jason Lee) and David demands to know what, but she says she'll tell him later. He presses the issue and demands to know when. Finally she just blurts out: "I'll tell you in another life when we're both cats" I just love the blithe tone of the whole thing, the whole way of thinking. I don't exactly believe in reincarnation and past lives, but I do believe in the essential fluid yet unchanging nature of life and time and the inexplicable ways in which people's journeys seem to become tied together. Similarly I never like to leave anything or anyone without the option of returning, in some way, to their lives or the setting in general. Why say "goodbye" when you can say "goodnight"? That's sort of the thing about cats, out-door cats anyway, they don't really make any promises about coming back, but there's never any excuse needed when they do. They might be gone for weeks, months even, and one day you open the door and there they are like nothing ever happened. Alternatively you may see them everyday for years then one morning they just disappear for good. You never really know. Anyway, to be completely honest with everyone I suspect evening is falling on my day here at GA. I know there's been some rumours around here about various bits of drama etc., and I want to state categorically that I'm not at all displeased or personally offended by any admin, team member, member, policy, or practice. I don't feel alienated, unwanted, or mistreated, and I definitely don't love any of you guys any less. And I'm not "leaving" either. For the foreseeable future I'll stick around for some behind the scenes projects, and remain at least somewhat active in various forums and blogs. I also have no "intention" of making this my last blog entry. I firmly retain the right to at any moment hurl myself headlong into all the activities I can find around here and be 3x more active than ever before and to remain so for years or decades God, Myr, and the internet willing. However, my life does seem poised to carry me in a new direction. There're any number of things which could occupy my time and attention such that I slowly, or even abruptly cease to come around. That doesn't mean that I won't finish what I've committed to do or ignore people if they try to contact me. There's also quite a few people around here, and you know who you are, that I don't EVER intend to leave behind and whom I sincerely hope I'm always in touch with regardless of whether it's through GA or not. As of right now I have every intention of finishing Indefensible and even have plans for other projects. However, as some of you have probably noticed, I've hardly been on the last month or so. I've gone days without logging on at all. I've been in various nooks and crannies of the internet for the past 7 or 8 years and I know the cycle well enough to know that when this happens it often means that before long I'll be completely swept up in some new "real life" thing and that by the time this "real life" thing is over there's every chance my "residential" status in my previous internet community will become "visitor" status. What's always happened in the past is that people have worried that something has happened to me, that I'm sick, dead, hurt, angry, or otherwise disillusioned or incapacitated. This has never actually been the case. So I just wanted to relieve those worries before they develop. If I abruptly, or gradually, disappear - even though it probably does seem out of character - I'm probably fine and I'll still more than likely drop by every now and then, sporadically at least, for as long as the place still exists (my other previous internet homes have ceased to be). Remember also that while I usually do wander off from particular places and activities I never lose a place in my heart - or my life - for the people that I knew there. Be it PM, email, MSN, mail, or phone I'm sure most of you can contact me if you want to, and I definitely intend to contact/stay in touch with you all too. Besides even if I do disappear, or you disappear, we'll meet again eventually... some time in another life when we're both cats. Goodnight all

LOL, I've tried chocolate syrup made with Splenda before. I didn't exactly notice the side-effect to which you are alluding; however, I did notice that it just plain wasn't as good!

Actually that doesn't sound at all unpleasant! **whips out the carrot juice** Spicy V8 is good. Then there are also beverages made from potatoes, grapes, barley, rye, corn, juniper berries, sugar cane, hops, malt, wheat, and other wholesome grains. I've been thinking of trying to teach myself to like V8; I know it would be good for me. I don't really like tomato juice though, but then I can acquire a taste for most anything if I try hard enough

***straps on his running shoes and takes off*** hehe, I know I can get those chocolates! LOL it will be tough for a one-legged pirate to catch a four-legged goat though! Just out of curiousity what's the focus/type of the forum? -Kevin

YAY!! Congrats, Greg! Well certainly the answer to that question in general seems like "love", but I'll take a stab at them one by one too if you lived to 100, what moment would you treasure the most? Ideally I'd like to think that I'd treasure each day/hour/minute/second the "most" as it was happening. Of course that's not very realistic. As far as ACTUAL moments/memories go I'd like to think that the best are still ahead of me. Besides assuming I do live to be 100 I've still got over 3/4th of my life left so the odds are that the "best" moment is yet to come. Anyway as far as already experienced moments that I treasure the most...well I don't think I could pick just a few. What is it that makes all of the hardships of life worth it? The things that motivate me the most, and make me struggle to get through the difficult times, would definitely have to be my independence, dignity, and integrity. What puts a tear in your eye bittersweet love stories/scenes/moments seem to do it the best. a smile on your face the absurdly ordinary makes your heart pound as thought the whole world is shaking hmmm, I'm not sure off-hand, but I know I find it exciting. Take care all and have a great day Kevin

**clears his throat loudly** **hugs CJ and Robin** I hope you two, and everyone else who is sick, feels much better FAST HEHE, I'm done too, but yeah I took the same easy way out for most people