AFriendlyFace

LOL! Used to way back when, but I'm a born again Post Virgin now

I am shocked to hear of this! How ever will CJ be able to and I can't imagine him writing a chapter without Looks like this chapter is going to be a nailbitter!

Speaking of posting, I thought now might be a good time to clarify one of the forum posting policies Technically speaking it's against our spamming policy for members to make multiple, consecutive posts within the same thread. It tends to make the threads more unwieldy and confusing, especially over time and with everyone doing it. However, responding to other posters' points is definitely encouraged! A good option then when you have multiple people to whom you would like to respond, is to go through and click the "quote' button below each person's post. The button will become red to let you know that it is selected. Once you're done, just click "Add Reply" at the bottom of the page and you'll be able to respond to everyone in one post! Actually, there's a ten quote limit (built into the software and board settings), so it'll give you an error message if you try to quote more than 10 posts. If that occurs, then by all means go ahead and make a consecutive post with the remaining quotes. We'll definitely turn a blind eye to that (assuming of course that posts are productive and appropriate in the first place, which I'm sure would be the case ) Just a little tip since you are new to the community. Regarding your general objection to the term "Newbie", personally I'm inclined to agree with you in that I don't like the term and connotations it implies either. I'd personally prefer the longer term "New Member." However, "Newbie" is quite common and accepted, and not meant maliciously, so I think our objections are more personal and strictly semantic in nature Anyway, I'm fortunate; they rarely refer to me as a newbie around here anymore Congrats on your first ten posts, Kaanya, and welcome to the board! -Kevin

I think that's a wonderful strategy!

I love it, dude! I was already thinking how cool it was prior to reading about it in this thread

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that

Hi all, I was just wondering what people's general status was in terms of being out at work. For many people the decision of whether or not to be out in a professional setting can be a major issue. Indeed for GLBT people whether or not one is "out at work" is often used as a major criterion in the coming out process. My answers: I answered the first question - Are you out as a GLBT person at you current job? - as "Yes, completely." I work for a small company but I am completely out to all of my coworkers. Shortly after I began working there as soon as a gay issue arose naturally in conversation I took the opportunity to say "well, as a gay person I think..." It was fairly easy and non-threatening actually, since I could tell from the tone of the conversation that my coworkers weren't homophobic. I answered questions two and three as "not applicable" since I do currently have a job. In terms of the past, I've been out at my last three jobs, but was closeted prior to that. I answered question four - Are you out/will you be out/were you are as a supporter of GLBT equality at work? - as "Yes, completely." When the opportunities arise naturally I always speak up in favour of GLBT equality. I'm also fortunate enough to be able to field questions about GLBT issues and culture from my coworkers. I answered the final question - Do you work with any other GLBT/GLBT friendly people? - as "Yes." I'm very fortunate in that my coworkers are GLBT friendly and supportive. So what are your answers? Any experiences are thoughts to share with us? I'm looking forward to hearing more about this from everyone! -Kevin

You So you're more of the ilk who believes in action whether than words?

Aww What beautiful kitties! You know, I don't think anyone's told Hopkins or Jade that they are strays yet

Well I know I'm a bit late to the party (and never mind that I drank the wine before I left the house), but I hope you'll forgive me for the bump. I will agree with Graeme as far as the whole "if you don't call attention to it they might not even notice" thing, but I'll disagree with him about "redundant alternatives." In general I think that if the dialogue and story is engaging readers will be so eager to read on that they won't pay much attention to the boring mechanical structure that said tags create. Similarly, in that way, I'm not bothered by those sorts of "unnecessary" tags that Graeme pointed out. If the character is quite obviously thinking, or agreeing, then yes, adding the tag "pondered" or "agreed" isn't really necessary, but so what? It's just as functional as "said" and it does create a little more variety. If it doesn't really add anything to the story most readers won't be bothered by it or pay much attention to it anyway, so why not mix it up and at least have them subconsciously reading a variety of words? I actually would prefer a variety of redundant tags than reading "said" over and over again. Either way I'll more or less ignore them if the story is engaging me, but this way it'll be easier to ignore while still providing that functional structure. My only problem with this is that it's an odd place for him to nod. I would personally have had him nod and then have the dialogue, rather than interrupting the dialogue with the action. The way it's written he says something, nods, and then continues, but if you look at the words, I would have expected him to have said it all together, without a break. I'm sure it's a matter of taste, but I completely disagree. When I read that line I don't imagine Frank saying something, pausing to nod, and then continuing (even if that's how it might literally read). What I do imagine is Frank subtly nodding while he's saying the whole line in general. IMO that does add to the story and it also does the structural job quite nicely. I agree that no one can literally hiss "I hate you!", but I'm still not bothered by it. Assuming the scene was a good one I wouldn't have tried to read it literally in the first place. I think it can, theoretically, add to the story as well. "John hissed" is quite a different way to express anger than, "John growled" or "John screamed." It actually does tell me what sort of person John is, and how he expresses his anger. At least it does assuming the author uses it wisely. I'd rather gain that extra layer than have another repetitive "John said." Just my thoughts -Kevin

I love cherries

Hi Old Bob Over the years I have started several discussions of one kind or another about bisexuals.

Yes, I really like that song

Sounds like a soap opera sure enough.

It very much depends on the people involved. You can definitely date and not have sex right away (or at all). As I said, I think the important thing is just going at a rate both people are comfortable with. It's fine to have sex right away if that's what both people want, and it's fine to wait and go very slow if that's what both people are comfortable with. I think the problem arises when people have sex before they're both ready or keep waiting after they're both ready.

LOL! Well, given the name I did suspect the eventual outcome. It was certainly amusing though and one can't help but to feel sorry for the narrator. It just goes to prove that as I always say, when it comes to sex it's best to be able to see what you're doing. Good story, Mark -Kevin

I can't stand certainty. The arrogance of thinking you know something really annoys me. Especially as it relates to people, other people, but also yourself. I've been studying sexuality and gender issues for a long time now, however, they've been particularly on my mind for the past couple of months. The way I see it, the GLBT community is designed for gays and lesbians, but the bisexuals and transgenders are still pretty much marginalized and discriminated against. It's frustrating enough when that discrimination comes from outside of the community, but I find it especially distasteful when other gays and lesbians are quick to criticise bisexuals or trans people or to throw them under the bus for their own gain. Maybe I'm expecting too much. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I am. People, it seems, are naturally closed-minded. A lot of heterosexuals (not all of course) cannot conceive of anything but MAN and WOMAN and their attraction only to the opposite sex. Then gay and lesbian people come along and they say "hey wait a minute, I am attracted to the same sex." Now it seems to me that that "unique" perspective would give them pause. It seems like it would make them say to themselves (or even better to others), "see, now clearly sexuality isn't this black or white thing. Clearly gender and gender roles are also more fluid." Yeah not so much. Unfortunately, it seems gays and lesbians are just as capable as anyone else of being repulsed, distrustful, or generally perplexed as hell when it comes to bisexuals or trans people. It seems that a great many gays and lesbians still need their certainty. They need to know "I am a man, end of story." Or "I am a woman, end of story" or "I only date other men" or "I only date other women." It seems that ideally what they want is to believe that people either fall in love with a man OR a woman, but not either. They want to be certain that the people they know as straight will continue to date the opposite sex and that the people they know as gay or lesbian will continue to date the same sex. They want to know what's in between someone's legs, because clearly that will be a reliable indication of how that person is going to act, think, and feel. Surely bisexuals must be "confused" or "in denial". A transgender person who doesn't feel comfortable in their birth roles must similarly be "confused" or else just "really sick". In both cases the last thing the gay or lesbian person wants to do is be associated with such an individual. They don't want to take the time or effort to understand them. Worse, they certainly don't want to question their own feelings about their sexuality and gender. I'm just so damn sick of it! I'm so sick of the f**king notion that "boys act one way and girls act another." I just don't think that life should be this black and white. I don't think sexuality and gender should be so rigid. I am a gay male, that is my "identification". It also works pretty well for me most of the time. I have absolutely no desire to have "girl parts" for myself. In general I'm very comfortable in the "role" of a gay male. It fits. However, that doesn't mean that I don't think the whole notion of "roles" is ridiculous, limiting, and narrow-minded. I'm a very sexual person. I could certainly enjoy sexual things with a female. They're not my primary attraction by any means, but even if I'm not attracted that doesn't mean that I couldn't happily share my sexuality with them. I've shared my sexuality with guys I wasn't attracted to. It seems to me it would be the same thing with women. Apart from which I am attracted to some women sometimes. I do think of my sexuality as "gay". That is what identifies me the best but it certainly doesn't encompass all of my sexual feelings. I'm certainly not threatened by having sexual feelings toward women sometimes and I'm sure as hell not threatened by other guys who sleep with guys having sexual feelings toward women. It doesn't repulse me, it doesn't scare me, it doesn't make me jealous, and it doesn't make me suspicious. When it comes to gender I'm even more open-minded and fluid. I'm a "guy" but I have my own unique, fluid definition for what that means anyway. I love my physical body and am very satisfied with it, but when it comes to emotional, intellectual, and behavioural aspects of my personality I consider myself essentially androgynous. There's no telling what role, emotion, behaviour, or line of thinking I'll take. I can't predict, and I certainly don't want anyone else to try, especially not because of my "gender". I do love gay and lesbian people, probably more - as a whole - than any other type of people, but I am deeply disappointed by how certain the majority of them like to try to be.

That's a beautiful dream, Eric, and I personally think that to some extent you've already actualized it My own dream? Hmm. At least part of it is similar to yours, but it's probably something I need to think on more.

Oh my gosh, yes!!! I was totally thinking that when I found them

**Warning Explicit language** A couple of her best gay affirming songs: Lily Allen - f**k You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ITZBBV8Syg Lily Allen - Fag Hag All her stuff's pretty cool. She has a cheerfully dark edge to most of her songs.

You know you're right; they do have a sorta similar style now that I think about it.

Aww, well I personally love that style!

I can't wait to go read it! My gratitude and thanks to all -Kevin

Hey Old Bob I remember all of those individuals. I'm afraid my speculation is more or less the same for each of them. I think they got busy with other things. Of course I might be wrong, but that is my suspicion. Naturally one might ask how someone can be so busy for two years that they don't have time to even drop by. However, I can definitely see how such a thing might happen. I personally, have "disappeared" quite a few times since I joined the site. Very often I've been gone for up to a few months at a time. In those instances, yes I was busy with other things. Was I so incredibly busy that I couldn't have spared 5 minutes to drop by? Probably not, no. However, I know the sort of person I am. I tend to spend alot of time doing something, or else none at all. I have some degree of middle ground, and occasionally I can get into the habit of doing something for only a little while each day, but that is not my natural inclination. If I like doing something I jump in with both feet. If I have the time I don't read for an hour and then go on about my day; I read for the whole day. I don't go for a half hour walk; I go for an all day, on foot adventure. I don't go shopping to one or two stores for an hour; again, I make a whole day of it. Thus, when I log on GA it's tough for me to hang around for about a half hour or so and then leave. No, when I log on, I'm usually on for awhile, or else I feel "rushed" and don't have as good of a time. So anyway, several times in the past I haven't had time to spend hours here, so I haven't spent minutes either. I'm not saying that's what happened to them, but it could be. Anyway, I wish them all well wherever they are Take care all, Kevin

How prudent and restrained of you! This post pretty accurately describes my thoughts on the matter. I like to think anything is possible, but in all honesty I'm more of a skeptic and fall into this line of thought. Also very reasonable and prudent