AFriendlyFace

Hmmm does it count that my posts are often 50x longer than the average post? Kevin

Well said, Boxer, I completely agree. I think it's important to remember that everyone has had a different past and everyone has a different perspective. What might be a delightful, moving, vicarious experience for some might turn into an agonizing, flashback of misery for others. I think it's of the utmost importance to remember that just because someone finds themselves unable or unwilling to read (and enjoy) a work which the rest of us have happily devoured doesn't imply that there's anything wrong with them or the piece. I think if there's one great failing of serial stories it's that no one (not even the author in many cases) really knows exactly what topics and events are going to be touched on. This makes in impossible for people with key triggers to ask around and make sure it's "safe" for them to read. The single thing I feel the most guilt for having done in the past year is when recommended a certain movie to a close friend. I felt that it was an excellent, poignant movie which ultimately had a very positive, uplifting message. What I failed to remember is that the movie dealt with a woman (and mother)'s suicide, and that my friend's mother was a victim of suicide. You're quite right in pointing out that we shouldn't criticise such people. That truly is blaming the victim. However, I think it's also important to remember that it's not the fault of the author, story, or audience if someone finds a story displeasing. Not everything is appropriate for everyone, but that doesn't diminish the quality of the work. Nor does it lessen the (positive) impact the story can make on others. I think all we can do is be aware of our own comfort levels, be supportive of people who inadvertently leave theirs, and trust the author to tell his or her story in the manner which they see fit. Kevin

I agree! It looks great Awesome job!

This was such an awesome chapter! It was also obviously a VERY important chapter! I love how it starts out with Jesse

...okay you caught me! The truth is I bought one of those things and made up the other post as "cover story" out of embarrassement -Kevin

Happy Birthday VIV!!!!! I hope you have a really awesome day, and a teriffic year! Kevin

Well I think it's because you've got integrity and courage. It's awesome that you stand for your convictions! Probably, but we wouldn't have gotten far without people who were willing to do stand up for what they believe. I think you'll make quite a positive difference - actually I bet you already have . **claps** well said!

Yes, I guess I was, Jack. Leave it to someone as sharp, intuitive, and direct as you to point this out! With your straight-talking, call it like you see it attitude you should go really far! Have an awesome day!

Ok so the primary purpose of this post is neither to reference the very amusing old movie nor to actually relate a funny story which happened to me whilst I was on my way to GA; however, I'll do both just so that no one is disappointed. The primary purpose of this post is to ask a question. Last night I was taking one of my phenomenally long, hot baths when I decided I'd had enough of the heat and the difficulty it was causing in breathing. So I got out (I do this alot during my long baths, even for a bath I can sit still for 3 hours ), and got a fan from my room. So I was sitting in the hot water with a fan blowing on me. So my question is this: is that bad for me? My grandmother would have a heartattack and assure me I was going to catch pneumonia or a really bad cold. My mom would think nothing of it. I read an article once about the whole "being cold/getting sick" thing and basically it said that this couldn't happen because to get sick you need actual germs or bacteria (very logical), and being cold doesn't cause them. However, I later read somewhere else that the real danger is the fact that being cold (or maybe it was temperature changes in general) impair the immune system and make it easier to get sick. So what's the deal? Was I gambling with my health? Is it worse that the parts underwater were hot while the bits above water were cool? Anyway the reason I titled this question "A funny thing happened on the way to the forum" is because, though it's been several years since I've last seen the movie, I seem to remember a scene in which a (dud ?) eunuch was reprimanded for fanning the prostitutes while they were wet. Besides that watching the movie when I was a kid I seem to remember "Hero" as being one of the first gay crushes I ever had (I think it was largely his clothes and character's personality) Now for an actual funny thing that happened to me. A few days ago I was in the tub (anyone see a theme developing here? ) and I had a lot of stuff in my hands (perverts! let me finish! ), including my shaving gel, mirror, and this new razor I'd recently bought (hence being new). Now the funny, kinda gimmicky but still fun, thing about this razor is that it's got a button on the handle and when you press it the razor starts vibrating (I really don't understand how this is supposed to help get a better shave, but anyway...). So apparently I accidently pressed it and it started vibrating and startled me. Now when something vibrates and startles me I've gotten used to saying, "calm down it's just your phone", because so far in the past that's what it's always been. So I jumped a bit, said that, then realized, "no it's my razor". At which point I realized much to my chagrin that, "I don't know how to answer my razor". I did get a bit silly though and held it up to my ear and mouth and gave it a shot. No response though, but I'm sure if it's important they'll call back on my phone Have an awesome day everyone and take care! Kevin

This is true, however I don't watch TV anymore (I don't have cable or satelite and I can't pick up ANY stations), I just have one for VHS and DVDs. The person below me needs a lamp

I agree with all of the above! Especially the parts about David and Nick being talented and clever

YES!! I agree

Hey Maya Well obviously I don't really know the answers to those questions, but I'll take a stab at a few theories of my own. Old habits die hard, and this is a habit quite a few people have. Some people would tell you it's related to anxiety or OCD, but I think it's just something a lot of people get used to doing have trouble stopping. "Grooming behaviour" is very common in our branch of the evolutionary tree I'd say for Marylin Manson it's just shock value mostly. Marylin Monroe, the glamour and beauty probably appeal to people. Perhaps in some cases people just really like their work too lol. No, telling who someone's going to like or why. All I could guess is that you're just not used to looking at him like that. Well I think the scientific answer is something like...People in general are "wired" to acquire language and babies brains in particular are filled with all sorts of neural connection which make them particularly good learners. They also go through a specific babbling stage during which they have the ability to make any "human noise". The ones that they hear the most are retained and language goes from there, the ones they don't need are gradually proned away (to make for more efficient use of what's retained). This is why it's much easier for young children in general to learn a new langauge. Of course all that's just my own hunch about things (and what I've heard), no telling if those answers will seem definitive enough for you or not Have an awesome day! Kevin

I tend to wonder about a few things. Here's a sample: About This Site I wonder how I can change the email address on my profile when I don't know my password (it stores it and logs me in automatically), and can't get it emailed to me since the email address isn't correct. I wonder what RSS feeds are. I wonder why it only lets me quote 10 times in a post (then it just shows the words "[ quote ___ ... / quote] " ), but then if I try to add a second post right behind that to finish what I was saying, It appends the new post to the previous post and usually does the new additional quotes correctly. About Life I wonder if anyone ever stops, "Spinning their wheels" or if they simply give up and go to something else and/or lower their goals/expectations so that they seem to make progress. I wonder why everyone (myself included) makes it so much more complicated than it needs to be, and why we all, at least occasionally, need to get our priorities straight. I wonder why it does seems so much like a book or movie sometimes, filled with irony and unbelievable coincidences. I wonder if anything's ever black and white (I don't really think so). I wonder why no one is ever satisfied (for long). About Myself I wonder if I'll ever make up my mind...about anything I wonder if I'll ever consistently manage to focus on my goals and do what needs to be done to attain them instead of just realizing what needs to be done then wandering off. I wonder if any of my goals even particularly matter. Accomplishing them or failing to accomplish them really won't effect how I feel long term anyway. I wonder if I'm extroverted or introverted. I like people, but I often live in my head. Perhaps I should just invite everyone else to live in my head with me....naw there's not even enough room for me as it is. I wonder if I create my own problems to keep myself entertained. I wonder why I have to keep everyone else entertained. I wonder why the abstract is so much more appealing to me than the concrete; why, for me, subjective things are so much preferable to objective things. About Others I wonder why "A" never applies herself, but doesn't seem to be afraid of failure I wonder why "B" refuses to try things on the basis that he might enjoythem. I wonder why "C" consistantly changes her mind, but still thinks each time will be different. I wonder why "D" chooses to live with irreconcilable points of view instead of just changing his mind about some of them. I wonder what "A-Z" (and beyond) really think about themselves, each other, and me. ***please note A, B, C, and D all represent people I know in the flesh, and have physically interacted with and not anyone I know from GA. About Philosophy I wonder if my colour blue and your colour blue look the same. Or if perhaps what I percieve to be blue is exactly what you percieve to be red and we just call them opposite terms and see them in different objects. (I'm not just talking about colours either). I wonder why the theory of parsimony is the gold standard when so many things in life, the mind, and even nature are anything but parsimonious. I wonder why "I think therefore I am" finally did it for Descartes. After wondering so much about the existence of everything else I'd have had no trouble thinking my thinking was the thought of by something else. I wonder how eternal life or final death will/would work. I can't quite get my head around existing eternally or simply ceasing to be. Reincarnation seems, to me, more implausible than either in pure logistical terms. Yet the concept of breaks in awareness is slightly easier for me to swallow. I could see "starting over" with no memory or anything else...it's just implausible and not in line with my personal beliefs. I wonder why. If anyone has any insights into any of these quandaries, or simply more questions of their own, I'd love to hear them.

Ooops! Naw, I'm pretty gullible about stuff like that. (you won't believe this but I almost forgot again. Can we have the rules for this game again please! ) The person below me is also absentminded

It does seems as though that's going to be the prevailing sentiment this chapter. Perhaps unsurprisingly I'm going to have to disagree. At least with the part about people being proud of Connor. It's a "hot issue" for me; Connor kissed Ben. In my mind it doesn't matter how much Ryan was pushing him away or screwing up (and I agree that he was), Connor is the one who just "crossed a line". Being mad at your boyfriend, feeling hurt and abandoned, being under a great deal of stress, none of these things independently or in conjunction with each other give you the right to go make out with someone else! I think one of the main things about being in a (successful) relationship is the security in knowing that even if you really tick off the other person he isn't going to go bed hopping on you (or play tongue hockey with someone else). People have disagreements and hurt each other, that's always going to happen. To me it's important to know that infidelity won't be a result. It's easy to stay faithful to someone during the good times, it's time like these that test your resolve. My opinion of Ben isn't much better. Ryan has two knives sticking out of his back now, and (probably) a terminally ill brother: OUCH! I had the same thought, Steve. More as another possibility than what I actually think. I still think it's more likely about Toby, but the Mikey thing is possible. I don't consider it significant that Maggie wasn't crying. She's a strong lady and she's very much in the "crisis" mindframe, it seems more likely to me that should would retain her composure and do what needed to be done, then cry and grieve AFTER Toby passed - which I don't think he's done yet, though I think "he died before we could get to the hospital" is a good possibility. However, even if he is dead I think she would make it a point to stay composed while notifying Connor and Ryan. Hmmm, that's a very interesting possibility. I had just assumed they'd broken up. I didn't think they were close enough for Toby to confide such things in Cody, but I guess that is a possibility and it's hard for us to gage just how close they had gotten. Too little too late if you ask me. Don't get me wrong this is infinitely better than if things had continued to progress, but still really bad. I believe I was a little ticked off when Toby kissed Connor, and angrier still at Cody when he did, Ben is now the culmination. When Toby kissed Connor it was wrong because they both must have known, at least on some level, how Ryan felt. BUT they weren't even together yet, so it was tacky and insensitive, but not even "technically" a betrayal. Cody's kiss was much worse. Both Cody and Connor were much more at fault here. Cody for purposely coming on to someone with a boyfriend and Connor for going along with it and betraying Ryan. There were some mitigating circumstances though. Cody's got this whole "free love" attitude and probably didn't mean to hurt anyone, and Ryan actually wasn't mad at first. With Ben it's different and much worse. Ben's much closer with Ryan than Cody was (particularly at the time), so not only is he messing around with someone in a relationship (which is bad enough IMO), but he's screwing over a close friend. Plus, unlike in the previous two instances, Ryan and Connor's relationship is much more serious, and they've even talked about this sort of thing before (after the whole Cody thing). It's just a betrayal on a bigger scale because the relationship is more advanced. To make matters worse the timing and circumstances are more serious. Many will argue that this all happened because of what went down with Ryan, I won't argue that point, but what I will say is that it is precisely now that Connor needed to not give up on their relationship and seek comfort in someone else's arms (and mouth). These are the moments that test a relationship, and Connor just failed. In fact looking back at his behaviour it becomes clear that Connor isn't particularly trustworthy, at least not where relationships are concerned. Connor's kissed three other people since he and Ryan started moving towards a relationship. How many has Ryan kissed?? Sure Connor's got plenty of excuses in his circumstances, and we could analyze why he keeps messing up till we were blue in the face if we wanted. Undoubtedly he does crave affection, and have attachment issues stemming from his past, but none of that changes the bare facts. True! Connor has come a very long way from the beginning of the story and made huge advances, I'm proud of him for that too. I completely agree, C J! I know it seems like I've completely focused the blame on Connor here, but had he kept his lips to himself I'd still be saying they were heading for trouble based on Ryan's behaviour and the way Connor feels. I think it's hugely significant that Connor said he'd never felt so alone while sleeping with his boyfriend before. It's also significant that Connor couldn't talk about the way he was feeling with Ryan earlier in the chapter, and even worse that when he finally did Ryan basically proved him right in that he wasn't receptive. Their relationship has quite a few issues that need to be ironed out. Personally I suspect they will be ironed out by the end of the story, in real life I think I'd be a little more pessimistic about the chances of two people staying together that had all that going on between them. Basically the just didn't act like partners (in the team sense) when the going got tough. uhhh huh!! I agree Excellent point, Dan! I agree Shadows, unfortunately I don't think life works that way. The really cruddy thing is you do have to keep exposing yourself to the possibility (even likelihood) of getting hurt. At least if you want to have an overall happy life and close relationships with people. All just my personal opinion of course though. Well that was long even by my standards I really enjoyed this chapter! Again I'm perfectly happy to see the characters behaving in ways I don't agree with, that just adds to the fun and makes me think more. Awesome job, David! Take care and have a great day everyone! Kevin

I want to take this opportunity to congratulate Kitty; however, I also want to congratulate all of us as well. I can say with absolute certainty and confidence that posts made by Kitty are almost always insightful, amusing, or informative (often all three). So we should all feel fortunate to have encountered a 1,000 of them! Well done, Kitty! -Kevin

I agree Very well said Maya! I completely agree You know that's EXACTLY what I was thinking only I coulda sworn that woman's name was Marie This is a good point, but we should also remember that she bristled a bit when Cameron first moved in because Mr. Harris hadn't consulted her. Also, there are old-fashioned, conservative women like her out there (I've known quite a few) and it does make sense that Mr. Harris would be the sort of man to marry one. hehehe, about 7 or 8 months ago I was in a sociology class and our prof. asked, "how many of you consider yourselves feminists?" . Only three people raised their hand, myself, another guy, and one girl. It's frustrating when the people you're fighting for women's equality are women . To make matters worse young ladies majoring in sociology should be one of the most progressive demographics you could hope to find! Similarly frustrating is arguing with guys for male equality. This is often overlooked, but there's quite a bias against single men having children. It's hard for any single parent to adopt, but much harder for a single man. Women also have the option of finding a sperm donor, or just plain old getting some guy to knock them up. For men this isn't option. Some people in today's society look down on stay at home moms; most people in today's society look down on stay at home dads. Similarly I'd argue that it's harder for a man to pursue a career in a conventionally female field than visa versa. People have started to get used to lady doctors, lawyers, and politicians; even the people who don't approve generally know enough to act politically correct (and if they don't the usually will get called on it). Men pursuing careers in female fields are almost always going to be the subject of insults and gossip. I think this is particularly unfair to straight guys. Can anyone imagine how difficult it must be to be a straight male flight attendant or hairdresser? So any, yes, I consider myself a feminist but I also consider myself a "masculinist" Anyway have an awesome day everyone and take care! Kevin

Yay!! Congrats Snowy!! LOL not anymore ***points at Kitty's number of posts*** Congrats to Kitty too!! LOL I wish they counted blog comments. I comment like 3 times on a blog for every one forum post

Yes, yes! Music to my ears Is it just me or did the last few posts sound something like an "update" on how we're all handling life, "post Dom". It's like something you'd see right at the end of a movie, "after leaving the war zone __ went on to do ___, while ___ took on a top level job as a ___. Meanwhile ___ eventually ___" LOL I mean we have Matt going on to edit, Danny admiting that he's finally "clean", Raz re-immersing himself in old classics, and Kurtie pursuing interest in a new author. As for my own "Where are they now?" entry, Hmmm. Well like Kurtie and TalonRider I'm spending more time reading other stories, and like Matt I have some new interests to occupy my time. Still I'm sure we'll all resume our posts as Domaholics when the next chapter comes out. Till our reunion, my friends, I bid you a pleasant and safe "holiday" Kevin

Well everyone it's only 3 days until the release of chapter 20 (and until the birthday of our beloved author! ). Anyone have any thoughts about what's going to happen?

Wow Vance! I really loved this chapter! I really didn't see the whole mom thing coming up, but I guess we should have figured it was a possibility. The story might even have felt a little less complete without some explanation of what's going on with mom. A very thoughtful touch! It also creates so many possibilities I can't begin to guess what's going to happen next (Okay I'm probably going to try anyway ) I was assuming that she's now moved back to the area. I hadn't thought there would really be any complications with Cole unless he does end up living with her and she doesn't approve or something. I also somehow don't see Cameron moving in with her right away. I think it's definitely a possibility for the end of the story, but I think it would work out something like, "let's take some time to get to know each other before we live together" sorta thing. I was also wondering if perhaps her arrival can ultimately lead to a patch up between Cameron and his father (well all three of them with each other really). I mean her departure caused the big falling out, maybe her homecoming will be the impetus for a reconciliation. On the other hand while it might seem tempting to see them all living together as one, happy, reunitied family, that also seems a bit unlikely. I'm thinking the parents have too many issues with each other, and Cameron has too many issues with his dad for that to be very likely. At best perhaps he'll end up living with mom, getting along okay with dad, and openly dating Cole. Hmmm, you're right, Conner! If she plays the insanity card it might really win her some sympathy and I'm sure Cameron'll be like, "ohh well no wonder she left; she was institutionalized". AWESOME chapter, Vance. I eager await the nest installment! Have a teriffic day everyone and take care! Kevin

Hmm I don't think so. That would be far too abrupt IMO. I think we'd need a few chapters of seeing Ryan struggling with depression or an emotional breakdown (I'm not saying he's necessarily in good mental health right now, but he's probably not going to do anything like that until his defense mechanism comes down, and I just don't think we'd see all of that in one chapter, it would be too rushed). Yep, this would seem to be one of the more likely scenarios. However, I think it would be too obvious too. hmm not Ben. Ben might be struggling with his sexuality, but there's no reason to think he won't just handle it, he's got alot of things going for him and no real handicaps. His brother, parents, and friends are all obviously supportive. There's already a pretty decent atmosphere at school, complete with a GSA (that he's ALREADY a member of). He doesn't seem to have any negative feelings about homosexuality himself (no religious conflicts that we've heard of, and he has several gay friends). He also seems pretty stable and well-adjusted for the most part. So he's got support, a decent environement, and no major hang ups. He should be able to handle it. Mikey, maybe. His situation is bad, and he's already mentioned suicide once. If there's a suicide my money's on Mikey, not Ben or Ryan. If there's a death,,,,,hmmm I think my money's still on Mikey over Toby, but I don't know for sure. Yeah it could be Connor's mom, but that would seem a bit anticlimactic, and it would also feel like diversion. LOL I read that as "if it's Ryan" by mistake. So when I got to the part, "It might also lead to a break-up of Ryan and Connor", I thought, "well yeah, if Ryan Kills himself they're probably not going to be continuing their relationship" Having now read it correctly though, I agree. I'm eager to see what happens next! Have a great weekend everyone! Kevin

LOLOL I'm game if he is! I've only ever been pulled over for being confused (twice and I do wonder how the cops can tell), but I actually found this to be something of a relief as in both cases they helped me get sorted out. Didn't get any tickets though

I agree with the others. I definitely think this is worth exploring, but it probably is best to take it slowly....of course I know I'd personally have a tough time doing that as I tend to leap into things. Slow is probably still the way to go though. Good luck and take care! Kevin