You've said it yourself :
I'm not afraid of
being rejected by my family nor my friends
(most of the latter know, told in a rather casual,
off-hand way). Though, that might just be
because I A.) don't give any concrete number of
fraks, and B.) live in an "uber-liberal" state? Maybe
even C.) I'm crazy AF.
For me, I'm very much afraid of my family rejecting me when I eventually let them know about my sexuality. I live in a very conservative society. A place where ppl who has AIDS are discriminated. You can't even imagine what they do to ppl they think gay. Is it weak to keep that part of my life mostly secret? No, maybe. I don't care. It'd be stupid not to. I just know that it takes a lot strength and energy to keep this kind of secret. So it's very founded to dread my parents finding out.
Frankly, I've not thought about those things you said until today. I've never felt disgusted with myself cos of my sexuality. I don't hate myself. I don't even pity myself. But that might have something to do with the circumstances surrounding my life. I know that some ppl have it worse. And I think when you meet some of them, you'll understand.
Oh, and lest I forget. I think you've not read a lot of gay stories on here.