dughlas

I know I smell nice. After my shower I applied just a spritz of Vince Camuto Solare ...

No, simply revolting but at least I don't smell bad

You know what they say about peasants ... we're revolting.

It's okay really. It's a well established fact that it's just glitter, a lot, alot of glitter.

It would be collateral damage exceptin' ... ... 'cause you live under his benign despotism.

For such a little guy he does got hisself an oversized button. I'd wager it's bigger 'en Donald's.

Careful you might get charged with disparaging his momma's tamales. Then you'll be faced with all sorts of legal tumbleweeds. I think it's a plot to keep more of said tamales for hisself even if he can only eat 9 of them at a sitting. Poor woman slaves endlessly to create culinary wonders to feed her youngin' and he makes light of her efforts by only eating 9 tamales. Ungrateful slacker brat.

Maybe it's the chair. Try standing on a different one and see if things go better.

Those were just the precursors for the big one ...

You gotta stop tryin' to stuff in such big handfuls ...

Watch for a monolith to appear it's 2001 ...

I been nothin' but kindness about your momma's tamales. Which I'd wager are the best in Texas and there are none bett'rn those from Texas. Why I even made a kindly suggestion about internet cures for all sorts of inadequacies bein' available for those folks what needs 'em. I didn't wanta say but I hired Rudi Guiliani to file a "amicus brief" in support of that judge showin' leniency and suspendin' that sentence preventin' you from ever bein' allowed to stuff yerself with tamales next Christmas. I'm pretty certain there was fraud involved in the countin' of tamales you ate. You most likely ate a Texas landslide's worth but some bad, bad, very sick people, probably the Chinese, tampered with the count. If need be we can file a writ of habeas corpus or some such askin' the Supreme Court to intervene and force a hand recount.

I did not impugn nor disparage your momma's tamales. I expect they'd be the best tamales I'd ever be blessed to eat. I impugned your ability to eat more of them ... slacker. Also, I think a lifetime ban on eating your mom's tamales a bit harsh. Afterall, you can't help it if you only have a itty bitty belly. If you search the internet you can probably find some miracle pill that will make it grow bigger. They have 'em for curin' all sorts of inadequacies. I'm sure you'd perform better next year if just given another chance.

.... and bellies.

Well then perhaps you should share your good fortune afore someone calls you a gluttonous little hobbit. I mean really, stuffing yourself with 9 HUUUUUGE tamales when others are forced to go without. It's nearly criminal.

Shhhh, it was really only 9 and 9/10ths ...

Yeah, yeah, of course they were 'cause everything's bigger in Texas.

Do you really mean sneaky and devious ...

Not seen that one either.

It's Drew and his pony.

Oh Marty what lovely children. The grin on the lad second from the left ... let me clarify, that would be the penultimate left position ... has a grin that suggests he might be a right corker just like his Great Uncle Martin. I've no recollection of watching The Muppet Christma Carol either. Suppose I best wait another ten years or so. Glad you had such a wonderful time.

Slacker! Kids today have got no gumption. In my day we would've ate at least a dozen before the first belch.

G'day y'all on this cold Second Christmas (an Amish tradtion) or Boxing Day or St. Stephen's Day or the day of recovery from over indulgence. It is currently 26/-3° here in our part of coastal SC but the wind is making it feel colder. While it may not have been the Christmas of your dreams I hope you all found some peace and joy in the day. Blessed be y'all 'cause Christmas has just begun it ain't over until Epiphany on January 6th.

I'm relaxing with a mug of Irish coffee.

But, but those books are in French.