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NickolasJames8

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Blog Entries posted by NickolasJames8

  1. NickolasJames8
    Ok, I'm not trying to be rude, but I think that the topic Magical moments in Dom's Stories...toward a serious critism of Dom's Work is easily the most boring topic I've ever seen on the Domoholic's forum. Maybe I'm not refined enough to be interested, but I have to say that I've never actually started to get drowsy while reading something on this forum.......until I read that topic......ok, sorry. I just had to say something.
    I think it's a mistake to try to over analyze Dom's work that way. He works hard on his stories and he does a really good job of putting things together, and somehow, I have a hard time believing that he sit's and wonders about the elements of the Buddah Perspective or the Kentian sublime (whatever that is) when he's working on his stories. I would be suprised if he thinks that happy endings are a way to suspend time as he's writing his last chapters.
    Now, of course, I could be wrong. Maybe Dom actually does think about things like that as he contemplates how he plans to get grandma Alice and Luke to shack up in the last chapter. Perhap's he does want to suspend time with a happy ending. Maybe I'm just a shallow dummy with no ability to look at the bigger picture. Either way, I still say that without a doubt, that is the most boring topic I've read in the whole history of the United States of America :king: :king: :king:
    Changing the subject, I'd like to thank everyone for their support with the death of my Big Papu(great grandfather). The replies I've recieved have been awesome, and reading them reminds me once again that I'm not just part of a forum here, but a part of something bigger. This is a wonderful forum and I'm proud to be a member and an author here. Speaking of that......
    I would like to that my editor, Talonrider, for doing such an awesome job on my story. He's made some big improvements and he's helped me with my writing style not just in my story, but in school too. My creative learning teacher says she can see an improvement in everything I'm turning in, and that's because I'm picking stuff up from Jan(Talonrider). So anyway, we're almost through with the editing, then I'm going to start posting chapters again. I hope everyone who's reading the story understands the delay
     
    Well, I better get in the shower. I know it's early, but I need to have some extra time this morning to get ready because I have about 6 new outfits and I'm not sure which on I'm gonna wear today
     
     
    Kisses
    Nick
  2. NickolasJames8
    I guess first I should say Happy Valentines Day to everyone.....
    I have to wake my bf up in a few minutes and we have to begin the dreaded walk to his house where we part for the evening and I dont get to see him again until tomorrow afternoon sometime, so I thought I would get on and make an entry.
    If you read my last entry, you'd know that I had to go to the hospital and get stitches because Im such a knuckle head.....well, I got to get out of school early today to go for my checkup or whatever it is they call it after they take the stitches out. While I was there, the doctor notices that Im coughing and my eyes are watery, and I told him that I thought I had allergies. Well, he felt the outside of my throat and he said he wanted to be sure, so they sent me downstairs for an xray. We wait in the lobby after they did the xrays, then they say to go back upstairs to the doctors office. Well, when we get there, they take us back and after we wait for like 30 minutes, he finally comes in and says that it looks like I have another growth in my throat, but it's closer to the opening of my throat than the last one, so it wont be so hard to remove it. Well, anyway, we have to go to the ear nose and throat guy, and he makes me sit in a chair that looks like a dentists chair, and he goes in with this thing thats a camera and he smiles and finally pulls it out(it went through my nose) and says it's okay, but we have to schedule another surgery to have it removed...ugh!!!! Im still having flashbacks of the last one, but he said that this time they caught it early enough that it hasnt grown into my nasal passage so I wont have surgery on my nose....Praise God for that.
    Well, anyway, my dad was acting all weird after our appointment and I was scared that he was gonna say that he didnt want to go out to eat with my stepmom.....it would've ruined thier plans, and the one I made with Taylor, which were to be alone at home. He cooked me a nice dinner...we had porkchops stuffed with dressing and hot rolls, and then we fed eachother popcorn and hersheys kisses...anyway, he crashed out like 20 minutes ago..lol.....typical.
     
    BTW, I can't forget to say hurray!!!!!! The SRITE's win!!!!! I would metion the losing team, but I don't want to rub it in too bad. All I can say is that we did it without the use of fancy avatars and exagerated facts...we used honesty, integrity and wholesome family values Really.
     
     
    Kisses
    Nick
  3. NickolasJames8
    Ok, so yesterday at school I did something really dumb.......I was running to catch a football and I wasn't watching anything but the ball as it was sailing throught the air and into my arms when......WHAM!!! I ran into the goalpost. Anyway, they called resue for me and I had to ride to the hospital. All I got was 4 stiches and some pills for my pain. My dad showed up and was totally losing his mind, as usual.
    So anyway, now I have a black eye and my face is swollen on the right side. My eye is totally closed, but I'll live...I had a note to stay home today, but I really dont want to miss anymore school, so I went with shades. Luckily, I got a new pair of Fossils in August, so they aren't too bad. I look like I got beat down though...lol
    Besides that, I talked to my editor and he said it was cool to reveal his identity, so here goes......it's Talonrider, the greatest editor in the whole history of the United states of America Ok, that's just my opinion, but he really is wonderfull.
     
    Oh yeah, I replaced the readinglist with the new Monthly Nickolas James Exellence Awards box....listed are January's winners.....congratulations to the winners :pickaxe:
     
    Kisses
    Nick
  4. NickolasJames8
    The first thing I'd like to do is say thank you to everyone who has been reading What's the difference between me and you? . I know it's been tough dealing with all of my mistakes, but I have good news.....no, I didn't save a bunch of money on my car insurace by switching to Gieco.......I have an editor, and he's very good. He's already reworked chapters one through three for me, and as he finishes more, Im replacing the junky versions I had up there with the new and improved versions.
    But in the meanwhile, I'm taking my time with chapter 42 because I really want to send him the chapters in order. But if you thought that the first few chapters sucked because of spelling errors and puncuation and other issues, please go back and check them out again. He's done an awesome job for me and I feel really proud about posting the finished work he's sent me.
     
    Besides that, I've been working hard on some other projects, including some stuff related to my story. I know it's not going to be easy, but for everyone who has been reading the story and following along, I promise that in the end the wait will be worth it. Also, look to your right and see my list of recomended stories....these are the one I truly love the most...if you're an author and you don't see your story there, it might just be because I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it's my goal to get to every story on this site.
     
    Kisses
    Nick
  5. NickolasJames8
    I woke up this morning in a panic from a nightmare, and I had to actually turn my light on to make sure I was in my room. It was the same nightmare I've had about 5 or 6 times now....
    We're living in California again and Im locked out of our house for some reason, but the phone is ringing and Im desperate to get in because I know it's my real mom calling, but I can't open the door. When I finally get inside, the phone has stopped ringing and I've missed the call. So I go around the corner and find my grandparents in their old house and I try to get them to call her for me but they say that she doesn't want to see me anymore because she's mad at me.
    Everytime I have this dream I have to catch my breath from it when I wake up, almost like I can't breathe when Im having it. Then, just like this morning, I can't go back to sleep. So, anyway, I guess it's silly to sit here and write about it, but I know Im going to feel bad about it all day, even if I try to forget it because I can never seem to get it off of my mind.
    Besides that, I posted chapter 41. I don't think it's that good, but someone told me that it flowed with the story, which is good Anyway, if you happen to read it, don't forget to leave a comment for me. I better go get in the shower right now or my dads gonna flip because he thinks Im going to make him late
     
     
    Kisses
    Nick
  6. NickolasJames8
    This afternoon when I got home from school I was soooooo hungry, so I opened the refridgerator and looked inside to see what there was to eat. I found some leftover steaks from last night so I had my stepmom heat two of them up for me. I don't know if it was because she heated them up wrong, or because she didn't add enough salt to them, but when I took my first bite, I didn't bother chewing because I was so hungry, and I got a huge chunk of unchewed steak stuck in my throat, making it hard for me to breathe and impossible to swallow anything.
    So for about 30 minutes, I did everything I could to try to make it come out. Everytime I tried to drink water or rootbeer to force it down, I had to hurry and run to the bathroom and gag it all up because it never made it past the steak. Finally, I got sick of choking on it and took matters into my own hands......I stood over the toilet and shoved my finger down my throat until I gagged the meat up.....it was brutal.
    Anyway, I looked in the mirror while I was brushing my teeth aftertward and I have all of these red splotches on my face from straining to gag and I look like a monster, or like a vistim of a mugging. I don't know what Im going to do about tomorrow at school......this really sucks, but it still gets worse......
    My dad freaked out when he got home and found out about it and wanted to take me to the emergency room even though I already got the meat unstuck and was fine. He saw all of the splotches on my face and tried to say I was bleeding internally and he needed to get me to the hospital..lol...luckily, my stepmom told him he was being paranoid and to leave me alone.
    So at dinner time me and taylor come downstairs to eat and he's standing at the breakfast island cutting my meat up for me!!!! I was sooooo humiliated, but I wasn't too shocked. Earlier I was chatting online with someone and I told him that my dad would try to cut up my meat for me from now on...lol.......so now I just have to wait for him to calm down about this and let me cut my own meat up
     
     
    Nick
  7. NickolasJames8
    I know this is kinda depressing, but I decided to write this here because it's my blog, and I feel like this is a good place to get things off of my mind that I don't feel comfortable talking about with too many other people.
     
    I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately, and it's kinda had me bummed out. I know that there's no way to go back in time or to bring her back, but I have so many questions that I know I can never get the answers to. It's like Rory in DD, but I wasn't ever lied to by my mom. I feel like Im being lied to by my dad, though. At least Im being kept in the dark about a lot of things......
    My dad and I have been having this war for a long time about what kind of questions I should be able to ask and what's none of my business. I want to know as much as I can about his relationship with my mom, and what kind of couple they were. I talked to some of my family and they told me stuff like, They always fought really bad after I was born. Someone even told me that my mom stabbed my dad and that he broke her arm, but then they made up. The same person also told me that before I was born, they NEVER fought. But when I ask my dad about that stuff, he tells me to put it out of my head and that it's the past and that it's none of my concern.
    So I feel terrible sometimes because I have no idea if I ruined my parents relationship or not. I'd at least like to know what kind of stuff we did as a family and whether or not my mom and dad would've gotten married if she wouldn't have died, but he doesn't even answer those questions for me.
    The biggest thing for me is wondering what my mom would think of me today. Would she accept me for being gay? Would she be ashamed? Would she be proud? Would she like Taylor? Would she forbid us from dating? I don't even know if she was homophobic or not. My dad says all of that stuff is irrelelvant, but it hurts my feelings that he won't at least answer the questions about the two of them. He used to smoke a lot of weed when I was little. I wonder if she smoked it with him, or was she a drinker? I know she got good grades, but what kind of crowd did they hang out in?
    The main thing I want to know is, Did I ruin their lives? Or maybe I should ask, Did I ruin their plans? I know they were together from the 7th grade until she died, so maybe they had plans for their lives and I came along and they had to change them and it drove them apart. I don't know.
    Besides that, tomorrow is Taylors birthday He's a month and 8 days older than me, so he can't brag for too long. He's having a huge party at his house, and he invited like 45 people...we're gonna try to cram as many people in his pool as we can to see how much water we can knock out of it, like we did to my dads hot tub
    Anyway, sorry for being such a downer......btw, to anyone who might be reading my story, chapter 41 is on it's way....but please, leave comments, good or bad...the good ones encourage me and the critism helps me improve
     
     
    Nick
  8. NickolasJames8
    The Nickolas James Awards 2005
     
    Before I begin to anounce tonights winners, let me take this opportunity to thank the authors and the readers that make the Nickolas James Awards possible. Without you, we wouldn't be here. So, without further ado, let's get to tonights winners.
    Tonights first category is the 2005 Blog of the year, and the winner is: VIV!!!
    Or second category of the evening is non-hosted GA author of the year, and the winner is: GREEN!!!
    Our next category is 2005's Site administrator of the year, and the winner is:MYR!!!
    Up next is the 2005 GA Forum Member of the year, and the winner is:SNOWDOG!!!
    Our next award is for Cliff hanger of the year, and the winner is, THE LOG WAY, CHAPTER 28!!!
    This award is for the 2005 coolest heterosexual character of the year, and the winner is: RYAN FROM THE LOG WAY!!!
    The next award is for the 2005 GAC of the year, and the winner is:JamesSavick!!!
    Our next category is 2005's most hated character of the year, and the winner is: JANIE FROM THE LOG WAY!!!
    Up next, the most popular character of 2005, and the winner is:OWEN FROM THE LOG WAY!!!
    Tonight we would like to take the time to honor who we think is 2005's Most Improved Author of the year, and the winner is:UNDERTHEHOODSTER!! Our 2005 Character of the year award goes to none other than: DAVEY FROM DO OVER!!!by dkstories
    Tonight we'd also like to take the time to honor 2005's Domoholic of the year: NAPER_VIC!!!
    Our 2005 story of the year award goes to :COMICALLY FOR GONE FROM DAYLIGHT!!!
    Finally, tonights ultimate prize, the 2005 Author of the year award goes to the one person who has taken Gay Authors and Nifty by storm: DOM LUKA!!!
    Congratulations once again to all of tonights winners. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the judges and the awards committe for thier hard work and dedication to this long and thought out process. Goodnight everyone, we'll see you all next year .........
  9. NickolasJames8
    Ok, so with the official GA awards going on, I've decided to pass out my own awards.......The Nickolasjames Awards...calender year 2005 (please note that Gay Authors does not endorse or support the Nickolasjames Awards in any way, although they probably should. There are no monetary or material prizes associated with The Nickolasjames Awards)
    So here are the categories:
    Story of the year:::::::::::::::::
    Author of the year:::::::::::::::::
    Domoholic of the year::::::::::::::::
    Character of the year::::::::::::::::
    Most Improved Author of the year:::::::::::
    Most Popular Character of the year:::::::::::
    Most Hated Character of the year:::::::::::::
    GAC of the year::::::::::::::::::
    Coolest Hetero Character of the year:::::::::::
    Blog of the year:::::::::::::::::
    Cliff Hanger of the year::::::::::::::::::::
    Site Administrator of the year:::::::::::::::
    GA Forum Member of the year:::::::::::::::
    Non Hosted GA Author of the year::::::::::::::
     
    The candidates for these awards are selected by a secret committee. The names will then be fowarded to a select tribunal of judges who will foward the results to the Awards Committee. The winners will be listed as the results are tabulated.
     
    Good Luck Everyone
  10. NickolasJames8

    Nick the Jerk

    By NickolasJames8,

    Ok, I know Im asking for it, but I did it anyway......I posted chapter 37 of my story and I know I was a real jerk in it....I just couldn't help myself.....my emotions were out of control that day and my dad and James were teaming up on me....well, thats how I felt. When I look back on it now, I feel ashamed of myself for doing it. I took something horrible and used it againsy my cousin because I was a jealous little brat......the cool part is that forgave me somehow....Im not sure why, but he did
    Well, in case this is my last entry until after Christmas, Merry Christmas everyone...I'll try to knock out as many chapters as I can while Im out of school :pickaxe: :pickaxe: :pickaxe:
     
    Ok, I leave you all with the one question that no one has been able to answer for me. Maybe someone here can answer it for me...........
     
    Why is it called Pro Wrestling if it's fake??? What's proffesional about it??
     
    Nick
  11. NickolasJames8
    (long sigh).......I feel like a total jerk right now because I keep dissing Taylors play. My bf has been rehearsing for his play for months, and tonight they finally did it, and I have to say (yawn)...lol.....sorry. I feel so bad for my boo right now because even he knew it was boring. Anyway, he did a great job, and I give him a lot of credit for getting up in front of 600 people (or more) and remembering all of his lines and doing his part so well.....I think it woulda been better if some of the other people in the play woulda did a better job with thier parts...a lot of them seemed like they were just saying thier lines, not acting them out, but Taylor and a few others did a really good job. I felt really sorry for him though, because thier were some people up there that you could totally tell didn't want to be there, and it must have made him feel nervous. After the play, he told me that he was embarrassed by how they acted disinterested.....here's hoping that the ones who ruined it for the ones who worked so hard to do a good job get F's and the ones like my baby, who actually tried to put on a good play, get A's
     
     
    Nick
     
    BTW....Chapter 36 of my story is posted
  12. NickolasJames8
    Well, I just posted chapter 35, and I want to say sorry in advance to anyone who reads and notices a bunch of spelling errors......it was a hard chapter to write. I actually started crying at the end when I was remembering everything that happened that day...in a lot of ways, it was harder for me to write this chapter than it was to write chapter 4, which was also a crying chapter for me...anyway, I had so many tears and my mind was so clouded that I forgot to edit it for spelling and puncuation, so I have go back over it.....promise I will...anyway, it's posted.
    Besides that, Im just getting ready to start my week. I have everything ready and in my backpack, so when I get done getting dressed, I can just grab it and go...lol. I hope you all had good weekends and that you all have good weeks
     
    Nick
  13. NickolasJames8
    It's funny what a few days can do......my last entry was about hoping we would get snow, this one's about swimming in the ocean today....really.
    Here's what happened.........
    Yesterday when I got home from school my stepmom checked the messages and my cousin James had called and wanted to know if me and Taylor wanted to go camping with him and his new bf....well, it was way too cold last night, so we asked my dad if he would just take us this morning to where James and his bf were camping at.
    So we drag my dad out of bed this morning at like 6 and make him drive us to First Landing park, which is where James is...the frst thing we notice is that the park is closed.....great. So we call James on his cell and ask him where they are, and he says they just opened the gate and drove in...lol...ok
    So my dads going off by now as we open the gate and go in, and when we pull up to James' new car that my dad just bought him, my dad almost has a heart attack.....James and his bf are laying across the hood looking out into the ocean, and my dads screaming at James because he thinks they're denting the hood or something..lol....so anyway...
    Dad finally calms down and gives James a thermos with hot chocolate in it and inspects the car for damage, then he leaves (thank god) and me and Taylor get in James' car and start it up and turn the heater on....of course, now we're looking for something to listen to on the radio because James has the worst taste in music and all of his CD's are wack.....he has a bunch of Emo junk and HCX or whatever...lol...so we find 103 Jamz and turn the heater all the way up until we start to get too hot, then Taylor decides to act out......James dares him to go swimming, and no one thinks he will because it's like 29 degrees outside, so he rips his clothes all the way off and runs into the water, then, as fast as he ran in, he ran back out.......if I didn't know any better myself, I would say that he might have ran on top of the water, but that's not possible....I do know this though....I have never seen my boyfreind run so fast and have such a wild look on his face as he was running like I saw him run and look this morning. So now we're all laughing at Taylor, who gets his wet and cold butt back into James' Murano and stays there with the heater for like an hour....Hopefully he's learned his lesson
    So after that, we spent the day just hanging out there and then we went to the ghent section of Norfolk and hung out at a coffee shop...um, I don't get it......what's the appeal?? Oh well....
    So now were home and looking for a party to go to tonight...wish us luck
     
    Nick
  14. NickolasJames8

    Snow? I hope so

    By NickolasJames8,

    Well, it looks like it might snow sometime soon, and Im super excited Me and Taylor are gonna ride our bikes to the slipperiest part of the road we can find and build a ramp and jump them....well, only if it snows and they call off school tomorrow.
     
     
    Ok, here it is....when I see someone I think might be cute, I make comeplete eye contact and smile as sweetly as I can.....if theyre gay, they like it...if they're straight, they'll look away....it works almost everytime(like I said in my reply to someone elses Blog, ALMOST is the key word)...lol.
    Ok, so now were about to eat dinner, and not a moment too soon...Im starving....it seems like lately I cant eat enough to get my tummy to fill up.....oh yeah, one more thing before I go...this is for everyone.....
     
     
    Nick
  15. NickolasJames8

    Success!

    By NickolasJames8,

    I did it!!!!! I finally managed to get every chapter that I've posted so far transfered over to the new e-fiction forum....Myr, just so you know, I didn't break anything..lol. Actually, it's a really crispy layout. Im glad that Myr was able to get that for us...now all of my chapters are under one heading....anyone who is currently posting in the library should go check this thing out....it's mad nice.
    Ok, so now that I have 33 chapters of my story posted, Im working on chapter 34...Im not sure how long it's going to take to write it, but Im going to do my best to have it finished at least before I go to bed tomorrow night.
    Besides that, I've just been chilling out listening to all of the under ground Tupac joints that my buddy Brett sent me...they're extra dope...I can't believe that someone who's been gone for 9 years has songs that sound better than the songs that rappers are putting out today......if he had lived to see this day, he'd have other artists starving because no one would by their garbage CD's.
     
    Ok, back to chapter 34...I just got so excited about finally getting my chapters up that I wanted to make an entry about it..
     
     
    Nick
  16. NickolasJames8
    Ok, I admit it.....Im confused. Im afraid Im going to break something. The instructions in the new efiction section of GA look so simple. But when I get to the part where I have to actually follow them, I get messed up. I guess Im supposed to pick a category to put my story under....there are 4, and none of them are acurate for my story.
    Also, theres this whole thing about a disclaimer. I guess I could copy and paste the sample one, but Im not sure if that's ok or not.....also, how should I rate my story??? Im soooo confused :wacko:
    Speaking of my story, I've gotten some really sweet pm's and emails about it, and I want to thank everyone who wrote to me and everyone who's reading it.....it makes me feel good to know that there are actually people who are enjoying it...Im sorry time is moving so slowly in it, but I have decided that instead of worying about moving it along faster, Im just going to concentrate on my memory and try to make it the best story I can....I feel like I do a better job when I include more details and take my time with things. I've actually finished chapter 33, but I only have 30 chapters posted here until I can figure out what to do about getting it moved over to the efiction section without breaking something....like Myrs new section..lol
    Anyway, once I figure it out you'll be able to find my story there, all posted under one story with all of the chapters in one place....that will definitely be nice.
     
     
    Nick
  17. NickolasJames8
    It's about 1:40 and Im sitting here making this entry because I had to come home sick from school.....I hate that. It's bad enough having to wait in the office for my stepmom to come get me, but then when we were leaving I saw a bunch of people I knew and as we were driving off they were looking at us and talking. I think it sucks because they were probably talking about how my stepmom looks, which according to a lot of my breeder freinds, is really really hot. I know it's not that big of a deal, but I get embarrased about it for some reason. In a way, I feel like I don't even want to be seen in public with her and my dad because it's humiliating for some reason.
    So anyway, Im gonna lay down in a little bit and rest, then Im gonna try to get up and do my homework....the really crappy part is that I only had about an hour and a half to get out of school, but I feel like my eyes are being flicked or something, and they said I have a fever, so, here I am...lol...anyway, I'll try to get mnore chapters posted today too. just a warning...they're gonna get sexier starting now. I hope that it doesn't bug anyone.
     
     
    Nick
    update: It's 7:12 pm right now, and I just realized that I was so out of it that I never published my entry....sorry
  18. NickolasJames8
    Well, this weekend I lived a nightmare...lol....not really, but it wasn't fun. We went to Jacksonville, Florida this weekend because my grandfather was there from California visiting my aunt and uncle and cousins. Well, my dad's a republican, my grandpa is a democrat, and my aunt thinks we should live in a theocracy where the governmnt pays for everything for everyone(Im not sure what to call that party..lol). Anyway, they started arguing about everything political, and it was unreal. My uncle and my stepmom and me just left the room and let the 3 extremists go at it.
    Later on, I got on the computer and logged on to GA because I was sooo bored. I went back an looked at some of the old topics in the soapbox that I posted in, and I realized that I had some really wild wars in there...lol. It was like reading the argument that they were having. I guess that just like my family, we all had different ideas and we had to have it out.
    Then I got on my blog and read some old entries, and I came across the imfamous hetero sex entry....I still cant believe how cool everyone here was. I went from feeing like everyone hated my guts to feeling like the richest person in the world for belonging to this forum. I guess I just want to let everyone know that I never forgot about how you had my back. Thanks
     
    Well, if you ever read stories posted in the library, you might have seen that I've been posting chapters of my story. Im still getting the chapters I have finished edited, so Im not really posting them very fast. I know they have a lot of mistakes still, but if you can believe it, they were worse before. I promise to get them posted as soon as they're edited,though. I think that as the chapters go on, the stry gets better...I know that the first few chapters sucked, but I think it got better when I got the hang of what I was doing. Anyway, dont be shy about PMing me to tell me wat you think..even if it's a flame. I want to know so I can get better.....if you want, you can even flame me here if you want(or just give me some feedback)
     
    Nick
  19. NickolasJames8
    *long sigh*...lol...I can't believe the chapter of TOU that I just read. I mean, that was easily the best chapter of the whole story. Dom Luka, if you read this, you've out done yourself. I love reading Doms stories because it's something that
    A) My bf and I do together
    B)Gives me an excuse to listen to my Best of the Doobie Brothers CD
    C) Inspires me to write my own story
     
    So, thank you Dom Luka for being such a great writer and a cool guy.
    ****************************************************
    In my last entry I talked about the changes I was making in my life, and I wanted to update everyone about that...first of all, thank you all sooo much for the supportive posts. That means so much to me. I think you guys are the greatest. Well, today I found out that one of my freinds wasnt really my freind at all.....he got mad and he said that someone had brainwashed me into turning to God, and that I was turning into a preacher or a recruiter on my Xanga page.
    I pointed two things out to him
    1) I've always been a Christian
    2)That even if I was a recruiter(which I dont think I am), it wouldnt bother me to be a recruiter for Christ. In fact, it would be an honor to be a recruiter for Chist in my opinion.
    Anyway, he told me that he only read my page because it was easy for him to imagine what me and my bf did in bed, and thats when I realized that when we would chat, that was his reason...he was nothing but a pervert who acted like my freind to get to talk to me. So, I blocked him from sending me IM's anymore.
    BTW, I never talked about me and my bf doing anything sexual on my xanga page, so I dont know how he was able to imagine that kind of stuff in his head. It's scary.
    Well, if you're wondering about the title of todays entry, I went with a line from an old Doobie Brothers song that reminds me of Log Way...the name of the song is called real love, and right now, it's playing on my Xanga page
    www.xanga.com/Nickolasjames
     
    Kisses
    Nick
  20. NickolasJames8

    A new day

    By NickolasJames8,

    Well, Im pretty sure that I have pretty much wierded out most of my online friends....lol..well, at least the ones who read my blog on Xanga. I did a lot of thinking while I was home from school and I realized a lot of things about myself. So I decided to make some real changes, and I want them to show in every part of my life, even on my Xanga blog and on this one.
    The main problem was that I was trying so hard to fit the gayboi/emo/whatever image that I forgot who I was. Im not a queen. I love to play baseball and football and help my dad work on his car and ride motorcycles and all kinds of other things. But I just stopped doing all of that stuff because I thought it was stuff that straight people did, not gaybois, and I got really unhappy really fast. I felt like I couldn't relate to my friends or my boyfriend anymore.
    Luckily, I have a boyfriend who tells me whats up. He'll let me know if he thinks Im messing up, and we talked some stuff over. So, after I pulled my head out of my butt, I had to stop and think about the things we needed to do to make our relationship stronger......one of the things we decided is that we needed to get closer to the Lord. We've always gone to church, but one of the things we always had was a close personal relationship with God. We used to have bible study's and we always gave Him praise, but for some reason, we stopped. But that's changing. We know that if we're going to continue to grow as a couple, we have to grow in the Holy Spirit.
    I know that this isnt what peple were expecting to read here, but Im writing it anyway. Im proud of who I am, and I feel like I love the Lord so much. I really tried to hide that from everyone, and I wish I could take that back. I didnt realize that I was even doing it, but when I look back at all of my blog entries here and on my Xanga blog, I realize that I really was. Even though I wasnt exactly saying things like, I dont believe in God, nothing about my blog entries would tell anyone that I love the Lord as much as I do.
    Anyway, I know that I have a lot of work to do, and a lot to learn, but I feel like Im going to be ok as long as I can grow in the Word of God with Taylor. I feel really good about getting back to doing the things with my boyfriend that helped us become the couple we are.
  21. NickolasJames8
    I want everyone to know that I even though I havent really posted a lot, I've been home since thursday and I've been reading all of the super sweet comments everyone has been making :wub: . I feel really lucky to be part of a forum like this one with all kinds of cool people.
    Im doing really good now. I had to stay the night on Wed because they couldn't really control my bleeding and my breathing was kinda messed up, but I got to come home on Thursday morning. Im sure that the nurses were glad to see me and my dad go. He was bugging the nurses non stop about every little thing, and I think he yelled at one of them for rolling her eyes, but I was half asleep when it was happening, so I don't remember all of it.
    I could'nt have grits or cheesecake right away, but I did finally get to have grits on thursday night, but my bf had to blow on them first(I know, Im a jerk for making him feed me....lol) because the steam was bad for me. Part of he tumor was up in my nose, so they had to go in and get it out of there, and they packed my nose with these things that they pulled out yesteray, and I swear to god, I think I'll just let the tumor grow next time...lol...j/k. But I did get sick when they pulled them out, just because I couldn't believe that they were in my nose. I had to lay down and they put a wet rag on my forehead so I wouldn't feel so sick.
    Anyway, I feel 100 % better now, and I just wanted to make sure that I came on and let everyone know that Im ok, and that I think that you all are such sweethearts for leaving me those nice comments
     
    BTW, I read TOU 23, and Im so excited....I wonder if Murphy and Mrs. Moore are gonna actually get it on...that would so RULE!!!! Of course, the only good thng about TOU ending is that DD will start again, and Im even happier about that...as much as I love Quinn and Jude, and Aiden and Owen, Rory is my favorite character. I can just relate to him fo some reason.
    I also started on chapter 28 of my story, so it should hopefully be posted by tonight for anyone who is following it.
     
     
    Kisses
    Nickolas
     
     
    BTW::::::::
    I had a piece of cheesecake yestersay. My dad drove all the way to the Cheesecake Factory to get me a cheesecake. Im not sure how many miles it is from here, but I think it's half way to Norfolk, so it's pretty far. Anyway, it was double delicious
  22. NickolasJames8

    Today's the day

    By NickolasJames8,

    Well, this is it....my surgery's today, and Im hella nervous. I probably wouldn't be, but my dad's all stressed out, and it's stressing me out to(too?). So anyway, Im just gonna go with it...the suckiest part is that Im dying of thirst, but I can't drink anything untill after the surgery.... Anyway, we have to be at Sentara by 9:30, and I don't think we'll be done till late at night. I hope I can eat tonight, because Im gonna make my dad buy me cheesecake and grits...
     
    Wish me luck.....
     
    Kisses
    Nickolas
  23. NickolasJames8
    Yesterday my stepmom bought me the full second season of Da Ali G Show, and all I can say is....f**K Yes!!!! Sorry, but I haven't laughed so hard in my life.....if you've never seen it on tv, you should go out and get the first and second seasons on DVD....it's so funny.
    Well, besides that, I was supposed to be fasting this weekend with my family, but my dad wont let me...he says Im to skinny and to young to fast... ...That's ok, I've been making him pay....since I have to eat, Im eating in front of him...bite after delicious bite, in his face, under his nose, making his mouth water
    At least this is my last weekend of being grounded for the f I got on my english paper, so next weekend, Im out like the vapors....lol. But after that, Im having surgery on my throat...October 12, Im having a tumor taken out of my throat...it's up against my windpipe. At least I get to go home that day, but I have to be out of school for the rest of the week.
    Someone from this board has been emialing me...I wont say who,. but it's not someone Im happy to be hearing from. But I told him that if he cant be honest with me, to leave me alone. Hopefully, he gets the message.
     
     
    Kisses
    Nickolas
  24. NickolasJames8
    Last weekend I was chatting with someone I happen to love a lot on AIM, someone who I consider to be a good friend, and he did somehting he has a habit of doing all of the time....he just started ignoring me and eventually his away message came on. Now, this has been a problem between us in the past, and the truth is that my bf actually wanted to fight this guy because he felt like he was being rude to me in the past when he would do this. But eventually, we talked things out and Taylor let it go. He even tried to be friends with this person because he knows how much I care for him.
    Well, last week, I got upset when he did this again, for the thousandth time, so I decided that I deserved to be treatd better than that....I ended up blocking him from sending me IM's anymore. I just feel like it's never going to change, and he's a selfish person. I don't know if he realizes it, but a lot of our friends do, and I felt like I had enough.
    Today, I was chatting online with another friend, and he told me that Zach(my selfish friend) was sorry and that he wanted to appologize to me, so I unblocked him. We chatted for about 2 minutes, and it started all over again. So for the sake of what's left of our friendship( I feel like I would get in a fist fight for him) I blocked him again. It just hurts my feelings that he could be so inconsiderate. Anyway, I just needed a place to vent this, because Im feeling really bad right now, and Taylor is ready to walk up to him and punch him in the nose. Of course, I wouldn't let it happen, but I still feel bad. No matter what, I think Im always going to love this guy. He's such a close friend of mine, and I feel like I would die without his friendship. I just don't know what to say to him anymore.
     
     
    Kisses
    Nickolas
  25. NickolasJames8

    Im still here.......

    By NickolasJames8,

    Ok, I guess the first emotion that hit me as I read through the blogs today was saddness. I can't believe Snow Dog is leaving He was like one of the first people to PM me or to make an entry on my blog when I first started it, and Im sad that he has to go. The next emotion that hit me was :wacko: I just read the blog of another member, one who is said to be the one who made that wild post on my blog a while back, and I feel bad. I feel bad for that person because he lost a lot of friends, or maybe he lost a lot of trust. Im not sure how to say what happened. I have my own ideas about what I think, but Im going to keep those to myself because it isn't my job to judge people here. But I do think that everyone who made comments on his blog that had issues had a right to make those comments. Im just sorry that what's happening right now is because of some post that I made that someone didn't like.
    I guess school isn't going to be the breeze I thought it ould be this year. I've been getting my homework done earlier, like at 10 at night, but I got an F on an english paper, and english is one of my favorite classes. I have a problem with my to's. I can never remember if Im supposed to use To or Too, so I just use To all the time, that way I at least know that Im gonna be right some of the time...lol...anyway, it earned me an F, but my teacher already said that I can do it over again and at least bring it up to a B, so Im at least happy about that......this way my dad won't kill me....
    Well, I got more chapters posted in my story...Im up to 24, but Im having a problem. I can't seem to move the story along. The story actually starts in 1999, and it's supposed to end in 2003....Im 24 chapters along, and Im still in 1999....I don't know what to do about it though. I keep remembering all of this important stuff, and Im like, Yeah, I need to put that in to (too?). Then I get screwed over because at the rate Im going, my story is going to be like 100000 chapters long....lol. Anyway, if you're an author, or a reader with any suggestions about what to do to move my story along, please let me know...<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
     
     
    Kisses
    Nickolas
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