Mark92

Mine was ummmm Well it was my first and one of the most stressful days I can remember LOL. The flowers and vase didnt arrive until about 2pm and then the balloons, teddy and card arrived much later and the heart shaped box of chocolates didnt arrive at all!!! It cost a small fortune but he loved everything anyway, His to me? A dongle (memory stick)A video of him talking to me and singing me love songs. I've watched it so many times already, its awesome and amazing just like he is. for you Comic

I might have the wrong end of the stick here, but why does there need to be colour differences and toy differences? I cant go on my own experience of things, so I will go on the two kids I know. Lukey has two girls, 2 years apart but almost identical in looks. But they couldnt be more different. Moira is 9 and Ruth is nearly 7 (the nearly is very important) My point is Moira loves pink and dolls and all the rest of it. But she bopped a boy on the nose older and bigger than her. Because he said boys kissing boys was ewwww and she argued her uncle Marky kisses uncle Stuby all the time. She wasnt afraid by this kid at all. Whereas Ruth is a little tom-boy and likes to dress like a boy, but she's far girlier than Moira. Maybe they are an exception to the rule? but they are certainly awesome kids.

Thank you Adrian

Thank you my darling We have each other forever and always baby

Awwww thank you Freddy

Thank you Conner I do like to rhyme LOL I wish I could get back into it Thanks again

Hey all My mood is up and down like a yo-yo, apathy is turning into lethargy. Are they the same thing? I dunno. The point is I dont want to do anything. My chores are done on auto-pilot and today, Valentines day the lads let me lay in. Thank you lads The only thing I look forward to each day, is the time I spend with Stuby. I know others need my time too. But with this mood laying heavy on my shoulders. It takes second place. My chores done, Stuby at Uni, what do I do? I play stupid games. I cant be bothered to read, write or do anything else. Anyways Send me an email or PM if you need an ear. Its still on offer. Be well folks Marky

Hey Comic Thanks for dropping by I actually love the winter its-12 here this morning. So everything is white white. Bee, true friends dont go when the going gets tough. We all hurt for different reasons. Its at those times we sometimes lash out. Well true real friends are there for just that reason. Regardless of how they are treated. How about the morning routine? Do you all wake up UGGHH! and go away morning? Or like me, and spring out of bed exactly the same time every single day?

Hey folks so sorry for the abscence I have about a foot of snow, and doing the chores is far too tiring. It actually snowed a few days ago, but it isnt moving and turning to ice and with more snow due....well sheesh lol. So what do we have so far? Hmmm weather and sleep have different effects on our moods. And we now know talking is certainly good I discovered another new emotion the other day "Apathy". For a few days now I have come in from chores and done nothing. There are two ways this has manifested. Firstly my loves, cooking, drumming, writing. I have done none of those for three days. I did do a little drumming yesterday to cheer me up, but I forced myself to do it. I have lesson downloads by a man called Cobus and there are three songs I'm trying to get really good at. The second thing is I cant be bothered. Talking to people or answering emails, even important ones. I just puish aside telling Baz, " I cant be arsed". Not sure how to deal with this yet. Hugs to all and a huge thank you for keeping this going

Happy Birthday Freddy :hug Have a great day sweetie!

I have snow today It's a good foot deep and looks beautiful on the trees. Max is a full on dope who tries to make tunnels underneath it, snorting it out as he goes. An extra chore of clearing the paths we use. Its snuggly warm by the aga and the open fire in the living room is blazing. Warm bread and old spot bacon, perfect, not fogetting the mud coffee of course. As far as hugs go, I've had the odd one from Lukey and Baz, more of an experiment as to what a hug feels like. But they are not close to me so I didnt feel anything. I used to beg mum for a hug, she saw it as me being pervy Even from being little she used to say I was sinful for wanting a hug. Anyways not dwelling there today. I think we are all seeing now that one helpful thing is distraction. How many of you think the weather plays a part? Hugs to all

LMAO Joe! you made my day hahahahaha Headaches all gone now, so big beaming smile Hugs all

Hey all all round Thanks Joe, you succeeded in making me blush a rarety indeed LOL. I have come to believe I dont do sleep for long sessions. The more sleep I get, the groggier I am. And the chores seem endless. On two or three hours sleep, I'm perky, wide awake and enjoy each and every chore. Thick mud like coffee helps too LOL. How many of you think sex, helps as a distraction? I dont just mean long sessions with a partner or other, but self-love too. I'm a young lad who can admit to being a "wanker" LOL. I even called myself Sir Jackalot. But since Stuby and I got closer, its lessened somewhat. I still do it, just not as much. And though I hate to call it "cyber sex" Its what we do, but its slow and erotic and full of love. LOL TMI for some, i'm guessing, but its the truth. So bite me Woke up with a blasting headache, but happier too so "swings and roundabouts" as the saying goes Hope you're all having a good day, or not so bad day Hugs to all Marky

May surprise you lot but this is sheer my chill out music http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=vQVeaIHWWck#t=0s

NFL beats British football any day in my view. My teams have always been Tampa and Pats so I'm watching this one. Go Patriots

Thank you hh5 and Clara for your insights. Why dont we get away from religion and meds and shrinks for a while. And just tell each other how we are today? Whatever time of day it is for you, how are you right then? It's almost 8pm for me on a Wednesday evening. I have recently had dinner and watched Stuby go off for his. Which gives me some time to write this. Doing my chores...my farmwork....my farmer job...is second nature I can do it with ease, running on auto almost. I also excel at it. I have a bank balance very much in the black. I have no debt. My animals are in good health and as happy as they can be. I have plenty of food, heat and water. In fact I have everything one needs to survive and quite happily. The other side of that, is the ME Mark, totally different and opposite of farmer Mark. I see myself as ugly...because I was always told that ...had it punched into me. I have never, until recently had a friend, anyone to talk too or interact with. I've always been the wildman, before that the wild kid. No school, no socialising, no traffic or life to learn from. I fear with dread the unknown. The "whats out there." People, closeness, noise, especially anger, a raised voice to me means I'm going to get beaten again. I have no people experience to fall back on. No interaction with people my own age. Only my mum, her old friend Kate, who was poweless to stop the abuser, in case it got worse, or her visits were stopped. She is still my friend now just not close. Old Sam a neighbouring farmer. I talk to through a ten foot fence. My postman Greg, he waits a full twenty minutes for me to get to the gate. So he brings a flask of tea, and we have a natter. My old doctor he's 72 and so old school its hard to see how he can help sometimes. And then comes Baz and Lukey. They both came to me originally as volunteers, from the Young Farmers Association. They help young farmers as the title says, but so much more. Without them I could'nt have coped, illness had brought me literally to my knees. My animals were all that mattered to me. Now I have someone that matters more than me, or my place. I would give up everything for him. If it wasnt for him and my friends here at GA I can honestly say I wouldnt be here. They give me a reason for being here, not just on GA but on this planet. Thats how I feel today, grateful, and thankful. So in love my heart soars, romantic mush? maybe but its the truth. Love you all Marky. Thank you Celes I almost missed that I owe you lot so many like points. But i'm all out. Huge hugs to everyone

Hi you lot My bluebell wood is my sanctuary, not only for the underground den lined with sheep fleece. But the smells and sounds of it all. From the owl hooting at night to the foxes and badgers that live there. I love it all and it is very spiritual. Being naked there isnt about anything sexual its going back to nature, as it were. I feel more at home there, then I ever do in the house I call home. But when the bluebells are in full bloom, to lay on your back in them breathing in the heavy scent, looking up through sun dappled leaves, then its so beautiful so awesome I fall asleep. The calm dreamless peaceful sleep I only ever get there. to you all

Wow Lugh that was awesome. I really got into that Well done you!

WOW! You guys have been busy Hugs too everyone first of all A huge warm welcome to Clara My comments on religion were personal to me. My mother was in a religous sect, they shouted and screamed about "god" But he wasnt the god I knew from the bible I was forced to read. This god of theirs, said I should be openly punished with violence and verbal abuse. And 18 years of that? yeah I'm bitter and a non-believer. I have read the bible three times from cover to cover. As well as highlighting the word "sin" through several of them. I was the sin, I needed the punishment. I was born from rape, so of course it was my fault. I believe in mother earth and nature, that is enough for me. I'm not saying everyone should follow, to each his own. In my view religion is a personal thing, and shouldnt be pushed on others. Let them make their own mind up. I have seen one shrink, who basically told me I should be in care. So forgive me for not trusting them. We all need someone to talk too, rant with, vent with, or just a hug to say everything will be ok. I dont think there is any real "fix" for depression. Just hard work, and whatever suits you. All I have done is try to keep this thread open , so that some of us can come and speak our mind, or get something off our chests, or just offer an ear and a hug when needed. So more hugs everyone

If you read my stuff you know I came from the same place, just a different parent. And mine never loved me. I can remember even from a small child. I was never loved. It was an incredible piece of writing Roan and you do need to write more. It's made me sad and also made me think of my past and how it made me who I am now. That at least I can be grateful for. So a very well done and write more .

I'm a gay thicko LOL Stuby is the gay scientist geek Love him to bits regardless

Thats Cool Roan I'll have a look tomorrow it's 1:30am right now and I need sleep

My first ever story was (In)visible by Anyta Sunday that got me hooked to GA then In Due Time by J.Wolf. Both totally awesome read's. Seeing Double by my Stuby, he has a way of portraying things so vividly and you see colours too. Just need to keep nagging him to try and finish it and work through his Uni stuff too. My latest read is Mr Anonymous by KC Grim. I've been putting off reading the last chapter because I've enjoyed it so much. If you like gay male erotica then I would say Lets Make Love by me Guess who the stars are LOL Hugs everyone

I feel so guilty now for not reading more LOL. Lily has a pantry?? I have a pantry too. Ooooh Lily whats in yours, besides a phone? the mind boggles. I have a must read list thats so long I cant see the end. I can slip in a small thing now and again (no rude comments here ) Hugs all round

Hi Lily I usually do 3 hours max and that is/was a big sleep for me. Last few nights its been almost 5 so is cool I used to have nightmares, they are rare now. I've said many times that silence is never silent. Sometimes its so quiet here my own voice makes me jump. And too much thinking leads to over analyzing everything. Which usually means me upsetting myself about things that hav'nt happened. I dare you to read Lets Make Love and no prizes for guessing who's who As for Joe's stuff well he's an ace poet I'm a fan already Hugs too all